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Lantern7

Hot Streets

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The place to talk about Adult Swim's weird-ass cartoon that will be showed two episodes at a time. No, not Tigtone. Not The Shivering Truth. Not- . . . look, it's the one with the kooky investigators and the weird talking dog with the exposed nipples. And he sounds like the product of a night of lust between Morty Smith and Courage the Cowardly Dog.

New episodes start this Sunday. That's it . . . truth be told, I just wanted to beat @Sandman87 to the punch.

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Doh! Beaten to the punch! Then again, I prefer soda instead of punch.

Been enjoying watching the reruns leading up to the new season. So wrong, yet so right.

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I made a mistake. New episodes start next Sunday. The last two episodes from the first season air tonight.

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Anybody see the first episodes? I'm starting to want the series to carry on for a while. This week: a creamy pirate, lots of clones of Hot Streets agents, a race to claim the Moon, and Chubby Webbers' inability to not sniff asses. Also, the new boss is a small jet that can talk.

In case you're new, here's the breakdown:

Bransky: I'm Bransky. I usually only have the one tone of voice. My talent is that I can roll with anything with a straight face.  Ninety percent of the time, I have no emotions and my bluntness and disdain is funny. Or so I'm told. [gesturing to French] This is French. He's the whipping boy. He looks dumb and does dumb things, and he occasionally saves the day.

French: [huge smile] I'm happy to help my best friend!

Bransky: I don't have friends. Saves me money when I don't buy Christmas cards. That's Jen. She's my niece and the token straight-woman, I mean "straight-woman" in the sense that she's easily shaken by our antics. She's also not a lesbian.

Jen: [snorting] What makes you think I'm not?!?

Bransky: You're not interesting enough. That mutt over there is Chubby Webbers.

Chubby: [waving to the camera, making a noise that vaguely sounds like "Hello!"]

Bransky: I don't think we need him, but he's probably the most popular character on the show. His presence disturbs me more than anything I can think of.

Chubby: [snorting three lines of cocaine]

Bransky: Jesus, I wish we had a different dog.

Peeny Squeezy: [walking into the frame] Woof woof woof!

Bransky: I'm sorry, Peeny Squeezy. You're only a secondary character because you're even more revolting than Chubby here.

Chubby: [random sounds, tweaking his nipples]

Peeny: [making squeezing gestures] Woof woof! Woof woofwoof woofwoofWOOFwoof!!! Woof woof woof!!

Bransky: Pass.

Frenchy: I'm here, Peeny Squeezy! Give me what you want to give!!

Peeny: [backing away slowly] Woof woof woof . . .

Frenchy: Wow, Dracula was right about you. All talk and no follow-through!

Edited by Lantern7
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Best moment of the Creamy Pirate/Clones episode: The grunting and chimp noises when everyone on French's Isle of Clones was going to bed. So very wrong. Actually, there was a lot of wrong in this one. And once again Chubby Webbers was the only one who figured out the important plot point. I liked the way that eating the gun turned out to be important later in the episode.

The second episode was "The Moon Masters", which naturally made me think of the Mooninites scamming Carl and Meatwad with their Moon Master pyramid scheme. Best line of the episode: Psycho yakuza guy bellowing "Ass dog" in English (when he was getting the autograph). Incidentally, Concierge was voiced by Robert Picardo.

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Fun pair of episodes. Chubby deals with his past life as the puppy Wags . . . a puppy that ran out on his family after an accident burned them alive. Happily, he gets to play Super Agent on an alien planet, complete with light sabers and . . . mechanical ducks that come in handy a lot ore than we can think.

Then we got Hot Streets vs. bad bug boys, and French's bias against bugs in general. Does anyone remember the asshole Jenn was stuck with? I totally forgot who he was. Did he do the Popeye-esque asides back then?

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A pair of episodes where the gang saves alien kingdoms. Are they in a bit of a rut?

If I ever become a Super Agent, I'm going to insist on having a pair of explosive robo-ducks.

I kind of wonder what Bransky's most shameful moment would be. Maybe back when he Lost His Cool?

Second episode: French saves the day by teaching violence to a small child.

On 3/4/2019 at 7:14 PM, Lantern7 said:

Does anyone remember the asshole Jenn was stuck with?

I think he was from the pilot episode.

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First episode: Chubby gets big balls, French is a big dick, Bransky wears big baby-kicking boots, and Jen's cell phone gets to play the big hero.

Second episode: Jen's horrible ex gets killed in the crossfire between a vegetarian witch and some plant children.

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First episode: Jen tries to answer the unanswerable, while French lets his inner rooster out.

Second episode: Chubbe Webbers is in charge of Hot Streets while Jet Jr. leads everyone else to his home planet in order to prevent Soo Park from learning stuff.

Favorite new character: Screamie, who manages to sound like Wild Man from Robot Chicken: "Wild Man always looks both ways before crossing the street! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!"

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Ming-na Wen voicing a female character posing as a male. Do you think that was like coming home for her?

Also, I kinda hate myself for writing the "introduction," forgetting the other word in Pennie Squeezy's vocabulary is "HEY!"

Chicken beaks that attach seamlessly to the face. Is there a phrase like "That is SO Hot Streets"? Because I think that qualifies.

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