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S06.E13 & E14: Tell-All

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I think Asuelu grew up sheltered and in a very relaxed life and that is what is showing.  I feel like the length and stress of the tell all filming, I believe by the time he was upset , they had been there for 10 hours or more. Some of the other situations that were being discussed, much of which we either will not see or have not seen yet, was probably beyond anything he knows. I think he is trying to learn US life and can't believe that there are so many different types of relationships and situations. I would bet that he grew up thinking you get married and take care of your family and not much more.

My son was very nervous to learn to drive and was 18. I hired a professional to teach him. Part of the training was going out with another driver. I asked for it not to be someone that was also nervous or a beginner not a 15 year old that loved driving. He was matched with someone that had just arrived from Samoan. The person was smart, they were actually starting graduate school and needed to get a license asap. I was worried when my son said the Samoan student had a Samoan license because it must mean they were way ahead of my nervous son. Nope! The Samoan student had a very hard time with all the traffic, rules, and stress of driving here. They were used to dirt roads and few cars. They seemed overwhelmed with everything here being so fast paced and so many rules (that seem to conflict for them). I see Aseulu being heere the  same way. I also don't think Kalini is he best teacher for him. She is stressed with a infant and pregnant and does not seem to have the patience or even the right way to communicate. If you watch the bonus clip at the grocery store, she is not teaching him how to shop or how food is packed or stored, it is like she is treating him like a kid. Do you want me to buy you a pineapple? If you want meat , this is the way you get it here or you don't get any. She should have just left him at the grocery store alone. The grocery store they went to (I shop there often), is local owned and has the nicest staff. The produce man will talk your ear off about the different items and where they came from and how to prepare. Asuelu does not need to be yelled at or told what to do, He needs someone to explain so he can understand why it is different here. That produce guy would have loved to hear Asuelu talk about picking cocunuts and pineapple and then would have told him how our fruit comes to us in the desert. 

My hope is that her brother can be his guide to life here. 

If you listen to him after he bangs his head, he says I can't hear. I bet he just wanted to try and understand what the fight was about and maybe try and help stop it so they could finally finish. Shawn just was not doing a good job of keeping control. 

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All I know is that she called Asuelu the N word. People are so ignorant and most of the people on this show are even more ignorant than usual. I definietely could not watch the Tell-All after hearing her say that.

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4 hours ago, sasha206 said:

To me, he's an overgrown frat boy.  First episode of 90DayF, all he talked about was Fern's body.  Not how sweet and wonderful she is.  

Once a poster here pointed out his enormous nostrils, that's all I can see! 

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6 hours ago, eatsleep said:

But gosh, what could anyone really confront her about? Yes, she and Asuelu are dumb but since when is that against the law or anyone else's business? What's Shaun Robinson going to say? "Explain to us now, Mrs. Asuelu, why you are pregnant!"? LOL

Kalani should be GRILLED about not using contraception, blaming Asuelu for getting HER pregnant, her codependence on her sister, and not having her fiancees back- the complete manipulation she pulls on him around her family so she can stay in their good graces not to mention her flip out on the highway. And everything about her Dad being an ass and why is he so hard on Asuelu. So much to ask her and put  her on the spot about. I think she was nursing to get out of being confronted I really do. 

10 minutes ago, ethalfrida said:

All I know is that she called Asuelu the N word. People are so ignorant and most of the people on this show are even more ignorant than usual. I definietely could not watch the Tell-All after hearing her say that.

Wait WHO called Asuelo the N word?  Agree with you on the rest of it regardless of who it was. 

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1 minute ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Kalani should be GRILLED about not using contraception, blaming Asuelu for getting HER pregnant, her codependence on her sister, and not having her fiancees back- the complete manipulation she pulls on him around her family so she can stay in their good graces not to mention her flip out on the highway. And everything about her Dad being an ass and why is he so hard on Asuelu. So much to ask her and put  her on the spot about. I think she was nursing to get out of being confronted I really do. 

Wait WHO called Asuelo the N word?  Agree with you on the rest of it regardless of who it was. 

Kalani called Asuelo the N word. I will look for the video.

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34 minutes ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Kalani should be GRILLED about not using contraception, blaming Asuelu for getting HER pregnant, her codependence on her sister, and not having her fiancees back- the complete manipulation she pulls on him around her family so she can stay in their good graces not to mention her flip out on the highway. And everything about her Dad being an ass and why is he so hard on Asuelu. So much to ask her and put  her on the spot about. I think she was nursing to get out of being confronted I really do. 

Wait WHO called Asuelo the N word?  Agree with you on the rest of it regardless of who it was. 

I agree with everything you said about Kalani and Asuelo.  Kalani is very immature for a woman of her age, and she got together with someone younger and even more immature.  It's not a good combination.  I'd grill her about her plans for the future.  Who will be working?  Will they be able to support themselves, or are they going to mooch off of Kalani's parents in their old age? 

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2 hours ago, Spike said:

It was not an insult.  You can’t tell whether someone has an STD just by looking at them.  Seniors are getting STDs at an alarming rate because they assume only certain types of people get them.

You must assume everyone is a slut people, for sure.

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1 hour ago, ethalfrida said:

Kalani called Asuelo the N word. I will look for the video.

Whoa. WTH

38 minutes ago, lucy711 said:

I agree with everything you said about Kalani and Asuelo.  Kalani is very immature for a woman of her age, and she got together with someone younger and even more immature.  It's not a good combination.  I'd grill her about her plans for the future.  Who will be working?  Will they be able to support themselves, or are they going to mooch off of Kalani's parents in their old age? 

Exactly! But thanks for nothing thanks to Shawn Robinson and Kalani breastfeeding to avoid the hard questions. 

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I would be surprised if kalani and ansulo were ever in a position where they weren't heavily subsidized by her father.  

I would be happy and surprised for them.  But, I can't see that ansuelo has any great marketable skills, so maybe he gets a food service job? Maybe he could learn a trade, that would be really nice, maybe become a plumber or a carpenter.  They make legit money right?

You know kalani will forever say that she can't work because she can't trust ansuelo with the children.  She may make some noise about a home based business but good luck getting her to put in substantial work to make it successful.

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2 hours ago, Spike said:

It was not an insult.  You can’t tell whether someone has an STD just by looking at them.  Seniors are getting STDs at an alarming rate because they assume only certain types of people get them.

No snark on this, but a friend of mine got a life long STD from a guy she was dating. He was only the second man she was with and he lied about his virginity. She comes from a strict family and is embarrassed and ashamed because according to her family only slut ppl get STDs. Education is so important, I know many people who made poor choices (myself included) who never contracted an STD. Luck of the draw.

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1 hour ago, RealReality10 said:

But, I can't see that ansuelo has any great marketable skills,

Do you know how much money it costs to trim a palm tree? Those guys make money! 

They are from Calif. California has lots of palm trees. California has lots of landscaping companies that specifically LOOK for

people who can climb and trim palms. 

I think he has marketable skills. Now, going for a job interview is another story. 

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Father Kalani needs to start to sour the milk so Kalani grows up and becomes a functioning adult who can get a job and learn to solve her own problems.

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6 minutes ago, happy hobo said:

Do you know how much money it costs to trim a palm tree? Those guys make money! 

They are from Calif. California has lots of palm trees. California has lots of landscaping companies that specifically LOOK for

people who can climb and trim palms. 

I think he has marketable skills. Now, going for a job interview is another story. 

Asuelu looks a little beefy to be a palm climber.   I feel bad for the tree.   They are already a little bendy.

Asuelu + Palm Tree = Workers Comp

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8 minutes ago, happy hobo said:

Do you know how much money it costs to trim a palm tree? Those guys make money! 

They are from Calif. California has lots of palm trees. California has lots of landscaping companies that specifically LOOK for

people who can climb and trim palms. 

I think he has marketable skills. Now, going for a job interview is another story. 

True, I hadn't thought of that.

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1 minute ago, HappyDancex2 said:

Asuelu looks a little beefy to be a palm climber.   I feel bad for the tree.   They are already a little bendy.

Asuelu + Palm Tree = Workers Comp

Workers Comp? Well, it is income :)  It probably wouldn't kill him. I think I recall reading that Keith Richards fell out of a coconut tree and lived and he's older than dirt. 

He's not too beefy. The ones who worked on mine were at least his size.  I think he could do fairly well.......once you convinced him he had to show up at a certain time EVERY DAY.  (He's going to have to get over that 'island time' thing)

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There's a show now on Netflix called Casketeers about a Maori family running a funeral home in New Zealand.  All the guys are very much like Asuelu.  Gentle, weird, kind, seemingly simple, but not... even the speech patterns are the same.  To me he's a sheltered guy of normal intelligence, who was super bored and totally over the tell all nonsense and acted out.

And Jon is NOT a pedophile.  As much as we may find the age gap squicky, being attracted to a post pubescent woman, even if she's in her late teens, is neither a mental condition, nor a crime.  (provided all are over the age of consent and there's no chance of coercion by power, like a teacher and student)

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On 1/9/2019 at 8:35 PM, ChiCricket said:

He has those socks on that look like the cats nibbled on the top, and he's daintily arching his foot like he did in front of the mirror while he was  getting dressed for their wedding.

Well you know, a pointy toe is a pretty toe. At least that's what my drag queen friends tell me. 

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After I taught high school for a few years, I opted to go back and earn my Education Specialist credential. In the state of California, completion of that specific credential mandates that participants complete additional coursework in order to earn a separate certificate that is an authorization to teach students with autism. (Think of the autism authorization as minoring in a subject during college.) 

A professor I had at the time, who earned her Ph.D. in studying autism, shared a very profound message with us. I have always believed that everyone, not just educators, would benefit from hearing her words of wisdom.

Once you meet one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.

I don’t know what experiences any of you have had with people who have autism, but I implore you to remember what my professor said. 

Just because someone seems “off” and English isn’t their first language, it doesn’t mean they have autism.

For all we know, Asuelu could have a TBI (traumatic brain injury), hence his speech pattern and the pace at which he is learning English, which is second only to Mandarin Chinese in terms of it being the most difficult language in the world to learn. 

Additionally, if Asuelo isn’t literate in his primary language, he will never be literate in a second language. 

There are many reasons people act the way they do, assholes or non-assholes. Combining my personal and professional experiences, including working with students who have varying degrees of autism at the collegiate level to teaching high school in a classroom based on the format of inclusion, I can assure you that Asuelo is not on the spectrum at all. 

Throwing the “autism” label around isn’t anyone’s place, especially if you have no firsthand experience or professional training with this multi-faceted diagnosis

I have a 17 year old cousin in Dayton, Ohio (Ian) who has such a severe form of autism that he’s been non-verbal his entire life. He also attends a special school for students who need 1:1 instruction, wears diapers and has a service dog. The service dog will be retiring this year, so now they are back to raising $15k for a new service dog. My aunt and uncle are going to be taking care of him for the rest of their lives. They can’t jump on a plane or head out of town for a long weekend because they can’t leave their son with a “normal nanny/caregiver/babysitter” like other parents might do. He doesn’t have friends to stay with for the weekend. They would need a home health care aide, at minimum, to look after him to ensure that he’s cared for at the level that he needs and requires. 

Edited by Bridget
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On the promos for Sunday’s finale they show the original scene with Colt saying “I stay at home and dress my cats.” Then he is shown putting a dress on one of the cats and he says “Oh, you look so beautiful” in the exact same voice he uses when he “true compliments” Larissa. 

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7 hours ago, Bridget said:

After I taught high school for a few years, I opted to go back and earn my Education Specialist credential. Part of that specific credential requires participants to complete additional coursework to earn a certificate that authorizes is to teach students with autism. 

A professor I had at the time, who earned her Ph.D. in studying autism, shared a very profound message with us. I have always believed that everyone, not just educators, would benefit from hearing her words of wisdom.

Once you meet one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.

I don’t know what experiences any of you have had with people who have autism, but I implore you to remember what my professor said. 

Just because someone seems “off” and English isn’t their first language, it doesn’t mean they have autism.

For all we know, he could have a TBI (traumatic brain injury), hence his speech pattern and the pace at which he is learning English, which is 2nd only to Mandarin Chinese in terms of it being the most difficult language in the world to learn. 

Additionally, if Asuelo isn’t literate in his primary language, he will not ever be literate in a second language. 

There are many reasons people act the way they do, assholes or non-assholes. Based on my observations and professional experiences, including teaching high school students in a classroom designed for inclusion, I can assure you that Ansuelo is not on the spectrum at all. 

100% agree.  As someone who is a person who has a hand in getting a diagnosis (not the actual diagnosis) for a students (lots and LOTS of assessments) and as someone who has trained and TRAINED and still gets training in her field of special education, it is kinda insulting to hear people, who for all I know have no experience/training in the field, say, "Well he must have autism."  Especially if you are basing that judgement on a heavily edited clip from TLC.  

Second bolding mine:  I agree - I have had a career of working with kids with just about every disability under the sun in just about every federal setting, Ansuelo is not on the spectrum at all.  It would be VERY difficult for him to travel internationally alone for starters.  He would have been carried off that plane on a stretcher due to the noise constant stimuli in that plane, plus all the people crowded around?  He would have been in a ball, curled up in a corner or in tears.

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My nephew is autistic and does fine on planes.  Granted he has had a high level of intervention that someone from another country may not have had.  But if autism is a spectrum isn't it possible that a person on the spectrum may be able to do some things and not others?

Temple Grandin travels all over for speaking engagements and I'm sure she must fly pretty long distances for.some of them.

I'm definitely not saying that ansuelu is.autistic.  I don't know if he is or isn't.  I definitely think something is different with him given that reaction during the tell all at the end.  The barking and hitting of the.head....that just wasn't even in the range of "normal" reactions to me.

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8 hours ago, Bridget said:

learning English, which is 2nd only to Mandarin Chinese in terms of it being the most difficult language in the world to learn. 

Off topic but I always thought English was one of the easier languages.  The verbs, for instance, are a breeze. Although there is this poem...

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation — think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough —
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!*

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On 1/6/2019 at 10:13 PM, Caseysgirl said:

I’m thinking maybe Aseulo may be on the spectrum. He is extremely sensitive and the noise seemed to be puttin him over the top!  I felt bad for him but I think Kalani May have three kids to raise.

I agree mental health issues big time

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16 hours ago, bravofan27 said:

In this forum, we are supposed to keep it about the show, and not comment on other forum users. It's a snarky fun thread about characters on a tv show. 

I didn't see it as rude at all.  Back in the late 80's/early 90's, they were teaching this to us in school.  There were also the PSA's that said that when you sleep with someone, you're also sleeping with everyone they've ever slept with.

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16 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Kalani should be GRILLED about not using contraception, blaming Asuelu for getting HER pregnant, her codependence on her sister, and not having her fiancees back- the complete manipulation she pulls on him around her family so she can stay in their good graces not to mention her flip out on the highway. And everything about her Dad being an ass and why is he so hard on Asuelu. So much to ask her and put  her on the spot about. I think she was nursing to get out of being confronted I really do. 

Wait WHO called Asuelo the N word?  Agree with you on the rest of it regardless of who it was. 

She's a married woman (w/ wealthy parents). It's no one's business to grill her about contraception or any of that. She married Forrest Gump and that's just how they get down now. Bring on the drama, plz, Shaun! 

 

16 hours ago, silverspoons said:

I think Asuelu grew up sheltered and in a very relaxed life and that is what is showing.  I feel like the length and stress of the tell all filming, I believe by the time he was upset , they had been there for 10 hours or more. Some of the other situations that were being discussed, much of which we either will not see or have not seen yet, was probably beyond anything he knows. I think he is trying to learn US life and can't believe that there are so many different types of relationships and situations. I would bet that he grew up thinking you get married and take care of your family and not much more.

Jay and Luis and Pedro and Abby and Devar (and someone else) were all island ppl. And Karine and someone else (Kirlyam?) were from small remote villages. None of them spazzed out bc of noise or complicated relationships. They all have tvs, watch movies, access YT and everything Americans do. Immigrating to the US is major culture shock but by the time of the Tell All, they'd all been here for close to 6 months. That just doesn't explain it imo. 

 

2 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Ansuelo is not on the spectrum at all.  It would be VERY difficult for him to travel internationally alone for starters.  He would have been carried off that plane on a stretcher due to the noise constant stimuli in that plane, plus all the people crowded around?  He would have been in a ball, curled up in a corner or in tears.

Definitely not true of all ppl w/ AS/high functioning autism. But I agree, very unlikely he has it. 

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11 minutes ago, eatsleep said:

She's a married woman (w/ wealthy parents). It's no one's business to grill her about contraception or any of that. She married Forrest Gump and that's just how they get down now. Bring on the drama, plz, Shaun! 

 

 

Disagree. They are on this show surrounding their adult relationship, courtship and marriage.  She specifically blamed HIM for getting HER pregnant which is so immature. This additional pregnancy is a huge factor in their future, their careers, their marriage and relationship- esp how it relates to the fact that she wasn't even sure if wanted to marry him- and his relationship with her dad is threatening with how he performs. Knocking up Kalani might be grounds for Father Kalani to reign blows.  Not to mention all her blather about how he isn't responsible enough to care responsibly for one child now there are TWO!  It's all for discussion in my book! 

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@Pondlass1 English is one of the hardest languages to learn as a second language (Mandarin Chinese and Japanese being two others) Our lack of many standard conjugations and fewer standard rules makes it very difficult. 

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1 hour ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Disagree. They are on this show surrounding their adult relationship, courtship and marriage.  She specifically blamed HIM for getting HER pregnant which is so immature. This additional pregnancy is a huge factor in their future, their careers, their marriage and relationship- esp how it relates to the fact that she wasn't even sure if wanted to marry him- and his relationship with her dad is threatening with how he performs. Knocking up Kalani might be grounds for Father Kalani to reign blows.  Not to mention all her blather about how he isn't responsible enough to care responsibly for one child now there are TWO!  It's all for discussion in my book! 

 I'm not saying it's off limits. Just that it's boring and not something anyone would need to defend. Married ppl get pregnant and have babies all the time, even when they can't really afford them...FILs never think the SIL is good enough. zzzzz

I want to hear about the arrests, cheating, leaked dick pics, (Larissa's) secret children, underage cradle robbing...I want the smut.

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12 minutes ago, eatsleep said:

 I'm not saying it's off limits. Just that it's boring and not something anyone would need to defend. Married ppl get pregnant and have babies all the time, even when they can't really afford them...FILs never think the SIL is good enough. zzzzz

I want to hear about the arrests, cheating, leaked dick pics, (Larissa's) secret children, underage cradle robbing...I want the smut.

Me too! Totally.

Even if it is boring she needs grilling. No accountibility.  Ausuelo, her family, no one will keep her accountable. Just perpetual religious, Father Kalani dysfunctional BS.

Those poor kids. All 3, the 2 babies and Encino Man (Ausuelo). 

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23 hours ago, Mr. Minor said:

https://soapdirt.com/90-day-fiance-asuelu-not-autistic-says-kalanis-sister-hes-just-sick-of-reality-tv/

I hope this means we don't have to see their simpleton asses on Happily Ever After.

 

If you have to explain to people that you are NOT autistic, youve got a lot of problems anyways. 

54 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

@Pondlass1 English is one of the hardest languages to learn as a second language (Mandarin Chinese and Japanese being two others) Our lack of many standard conjugations and fewer standard rules makes it very difficult. 

English, as ive heard from others, is easy to learn, difficult to master. 

4 hours ago, RealReality10 said:

My nephew is autistic and does fine on planes.  Granted he has had a high level of intervention that someone from another country may not have had.  But if autism is a spectrum isn't it possible that a person on the spectrum may be able to do some things and not others?

Temple Grandin travels all over for speaking engagements and I'm sure she must fly pretty long distances for.some of them.

I'm definitely not saying that ansuelu is.autistic.  I don't know if he is or isn't.  I definitely think something is different with him given that reaction during the tell all at the end.  The barking and hitting of the.head....that just wasn't even in the range of "normal" reactions to me.

I have worked with kids on the spectrum and I do not think he is. Just wildly immature and accustomed to a simpler way of life. The immaturity is kind of maddening though, especially that it never occurred to him to send even $40 a month for diapers for his son. I dont care that Kalani's family is 1000000x richer tha. his. Asuelo doesnt look like he starved in Samoa, you have a kid you must contribute SOMETHING. I never liked him much.  To be honest, I think the reason Kalani hooked up with him was because he lavished her with so much attention, as he likely did with many female tourists, and she was just flattered by it. 

Edited by Lily247
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@Lily247 -- yeah, I haven't worked with autistic children and most of my exposure has been through my nephew. 

My nephew can handle loud noise, lights and crowds for limited time.  It's why my sister rented a car in Vegas, she could take the kids to a fun place like circus circus but she was able to go back to the car when it got to be too much for him and they could spend some quiet time before the next activity.  

I have no idea what's going on with him, but I think it's more than immaturity and living a sheltered life because that doesn't explain barking and smacking your own head, IMO.  

Given your experience with autism, how would you explain that behavior?  

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48 minutes ago, RealReality10 said:

@Lily247 -- yeah, I haven't worked with autistic children and most of my exposure has been through my nephew. 

My nephew can handle loud noise, lights and crowds for limited time.  It's why my sister rented a car in Vegas, she could take the kids to a fun place like circus circus but she was able to go back to the car when it got to be too much for him and they could spend some quiet time before the next activity.  

I have no idea what's going on with him, but I think it's more than immaturity and living a sheltered life because that doesn't explain barking and smacking your own head, IMO.  

Given your experience with autism, how would you explain that behavior?  

I woupd go so far as to call it attention seeking behavior. However.... we only see a tiny glinpse into Asuelo's life. Who knows if this is just how he is on camera ... 🤷‍♀️

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When I was a young woman, I thought it would be THE MOST ROMANTIC THING to meet a man, get swept off my feet and marry quite quickly.

Now that I'm older, I am a firm believer in A VERY LONG COURTSHIP.  

If you meet and fall in love with someone from another city, country or culture, there are going to be a lot of potholes along the way.  Cultural differences aside, there could be major differences in your attitudes towards money, family, friends etc. and none of these would be apparent in the first several months of couplehood.  Not to mention is someone is straightup crazy or kinky or abusive. 

If you are a reasonably established adult, then you are going to have lots of habits and opinions, likes/dislikes that are pretty firmly cemented.  Hook up with someone else who is in the same boat and there is lots of room for conflict.  I guess the upside of marrying the boy next door or your high school sweetheart is that you literally grow together and will have an advantage in the long-term compatibility lotto.

I know there are exceptions everywhere (and congrats to all of you), but in the context of 90DF, these people are all fools.  FOOLS I TELL YOU.

I hate these asshats.

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57 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

For today’s drama, here’s an article in the Daily Mail. Hard to tell exactly what the true story is, but I thought it’s worth reading so you’ll have more information upon viewing Sunday’s Tell Nothing, Part Deux.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6582209/90-Day-Fianc-s-Larissa-Dos-Santos-Lima-ARRESTED-fight-husband-Colt.html

Larissa needs to go home.  Things are not going to get any better and will probably get worse.

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5 minutes ago, Spike said:

The article previously posted said the police determined her injuries were self-inflicted.

That is sad also.  I feel sorry for them both.  I think they both need to find different people too.  Of course, whoever did the abusing first, ought to be charged with domestic assault and if it was her, she needs to go back to her country.  

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On 1/7/2019 at 12:49 PM, Bridget said:

Jay didn’t know what monogamous meant, but he used the word “clout” when discussing Larissa? Granted, he used “clout” incorrectly, but still! 

I shouldn’t be surprised with anything any of these morons do, but when Fern & Ashley were talking shit about Larissa and saying she needs to work out, I almost kicked my TV. Nearly everyone had a laugh or chuckle at that comment, including the men, and it sent me over the edge.

I don’t have a horse in the race, but body shaming is unacceptable, period. I can’t wait for any of those mean bitches, male or female, to gain 10lbs. 

Do we think Leida will ever learn the name of Alessandro’s new step-sister/nanny/primary caregiver mom? It’s Jennica, not Jenna. I wonder why Eric doesn’t correct her. I wish the season had aired in its entirety so that Leida would have been the recipient of the ass kicking that was long overdue.

Did Kolini know she was flashing her boobs to everyone in that velvet jumpsuit? I didn’t even notice Kalani breastfeeding Oliver because Kolini’s cleavage was out of control.

While I think Kolini had the best outfit of the entire couch, it didn’t fit her at all. Lack of jewelry and those ugly black booties didn’t help either. Her jumpsuit somehow managed to be too short (the length), too snug in some parts and way too big on top. 

Family Kalani is a bunch of cafeteria plan Mormons, which is fine, but to describe yourself as Mormon and then proceed to drink alcohol and wear immodest clothing just confuses everyone. 

1/2 of my family is Mormon and while my dad was born a Mormon he was called a jack Mormon because he smoked and drank.

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On 1/7/2019 at 11:05 AM, Jaclyn88 said:

 I'm assuming them staying together has at least something to do with making money, but her words are not matching anything else she's doing.

Yes, I wonder about that.  Do some of these people drag it out, no matter how agonizing or awkward, just to keep getting paid by this franchise?  I wonder if they're paid per show or do they get a lump sum for completing all their obligations?  It would have to be a LOT of money, enough to buy a nice home at the end of it all, for me to be risk being humiliated on such a grand scale, as most of them are.... and even then, I'd have to consider relocating afterwards!  LOL -- I am so introverted, it would kill me!   

Also, just discovered Anfisa's YT channel and she has more than 350,000 subs... that can bring in good ad money on YT, especially if something goes viral.... so, that is pretty good long term income as her channel grows, even though she had to put up with hell from the public for a very long time.  

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On 1/8/2019 at 10:02 AM, Granny58 said:

I am stunned that he is a womanizer.  How is that even possible????

I was wondering the same thing.  Pickings must be slim in that area

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19 hours ago, Bridget said:

After I taught high school for a few years, I opted to go back and earn my Education Specialist credential. In the state of California, completion of that specific credential mandates that participants complete additional coursework in order to earn a separate certificate that is an authorization to teach students with autism. (Think of the autism authorization as minoring in a subject during college.) 

A professor I had at the time, who earned her Ph.D. in studying autism, shared a very profound message with us. I have always believed that everyone, not just educators, would benefit from hearing her words of wisdom.

Once you meet one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.

I don’t know what experiences any of you have had with people who have autism, but I implore you to remember what my professor said. 

Just because someone seems “off” and English isn’t their first language, it doesn’t mean they have autism.

For all we know, Asuelu could have a TBI (traumatic brain injury), hence his speech pattern and the pace at which he is learning English, which is second only to Mandarin Chinese in terms of it being the most difficult language in the world to learn. 

Additionally, if Asuelo isn’t literate in his primary language, he will never be literate in a second language. 

There are many reasons people act the way they do, assholes or non-assholes. Combining my personal and professional experiences, including working with students who have varying degrees of autism at the collegiate level to teaching high school in a classroom based on the format of inclusion, I can assure you that Asuelo is not on the spectrum at all. 

Throwing the “autism” label around isn’t anyone’s place, especially if you have no firsthand experience or professional training with this multi-faceted diagnosis

I have a 17 year old cousin in Dayton, Ohio (Ian) who has such a severe form of autism that he’s been non-verbal his entire life. He also attends a special school for students who need 1:1 instruction, wears diapers and has a service dog. The service dog will be retiring this year, so now they are back to raising $15k for a new service dog. My aunt and uncle are going to be taking care of him for the rest of their lives. They can’t jump on a plane or head out of town for a long weekend because they have to take care of Ian. 

 

Amen! As a mental health practitioner who specializes in autism, I would never attempt to assess someone for being on the spectrum via television. People on the spectrum are as varied as people with depression or anxiety. It would be silly to say, “I met two people with depression and they were rude” and infer some sort of pattern. A stereotype is a stereotype, no matter how you justify it. The only way to say if any of these people have autism is to have clinical testing completed. 

Edited by Lellend
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11 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Based on my observations and professional experiences, including teaching high school students in a classroom designed for inclusion, I can assure you that Ansuelo is not on the spectrum at all. 

So what you're saying then is that he's just an asshole...

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1 hour ago, Spike said:

The article previously posted said the police determined her injuries were self-inflicted.

That’s exactly what I said in the other thread, she didn’t have the red, teary eyes, crazed look of someone who’d just been beat up.

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On 1/7/2019 at 12:58 PM, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

This is beyond creepy and borderline incestuous. The pic is bad enough knowing their background but then the caption" a different degree and depth than any other type of love" Girl, what?

Well, now you have me thinking.  Kalani called her sister "the Dad" of her baby boy too.  Everything is a bit twisted, right? ... Especially the long, intensely drawn-out staring contests they have over every manufactured drama.  I keep thinking what a hilarious skit MADtv would have done with them, if it were still airing.    Then again, they're already parodies of themselves at this point!

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