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S06.E12: Make It Or Break It

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Ashley learns Jay's secret; Kalani and Asuelu worry her father will stop their vows; Eric and Leida have last minute problems before their wedding; Steven has to leave Russia; Colt and Larissa face their issues; Jonathan and Fernanda say "I do."

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6 minutes ago, Chickabiddy said:

I will say I  am fucking elated that Eric is no longer charged with providing for any aspect of our national defense because if his wedding day is just another mission for him - and he forgets his fucking pants - let’s just breathe a sigh of relief that we are all safer for the fact that Sergeant Stupid is back in civies. 

 

Hahahhahaha amen.

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1 minute ago, Adeejay said:

I can't help but wonder if it was true love or a guilty conscience that made Colt marry Larissa two days after she was released from prison.

 

How about the fact she had to sit in jail for two days??? He was probably too cheap to bail her out.

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5 minutes ago, usernameG said:

How about the fact she had to sit in jail for two days??? He was probably too cheap to bail her out.

From what I understand, if you are arrested over the weekend, you have to wait until Monday to go before a judge in order to make bail.  

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39 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

From what I understand, if you are arrested over the weekend, you have to wait until Monday to go before a judge in order to make bail.  

On DV in Nevada, the bail amount is automatic (amt depends on if it is charged as a felony or a misdemeanor. (It might be that she had to stay for a judge if this was not her first time charged).  Also, Nevada MANDATES that DV arrests stay in the jail for 12 hours. (at least if not a felony). That being said, you get the paperwork/go to the phone and arrange bail immediately so that when they 12 hours are up.......you can leave.  

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10 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

I loved Larissa's dig when getting in the Limo "Ohhhh it even has air conditioner niceee"

And his dig at her when she said they were “feenally” married and he repeated it the same way.  Seemed funny and loving instead of mean.  But then you have to consider the source, I guess. 

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 Colt married Larissa but only for bragging rights!

Debbie encourages him to act horrible towards women to drive them away.

She is a horrible mother keeping him co-dependent like that......telling her son  it is Ok to treat cats like girlfriends!  😂 

 

Debbie met her match with Larissa.  Larissa is here for the Green Card!  Not going anywhere.

 

She will eat Debbie’s stew, put up with getting called a bitch, ride without A/C in unsexy car,  no shopping, no roses, pretend to like the smell of stinky cat litter, and even have sex with Colt.....all for  a Green card!

 

The last desperate act was Debbie picking a fight with Larissa and encouraging Colt to call the cops.

 

Debbie and Colt ganged up on Larissa once again and then got her arrested!

 

Their talking heads.....were ridiculous!  Hahahahahaha!  They were acting so innocent like they didn’t mean to call the cops. 

Now Debbie’s last hope is that they find Larissa guilty and gets deported to Brazil!

 

(But, if Debbie and Colt refuse to cooperate with the cops.....they drop the case against Larissa.  We will see how it turns out).

Edited by Dance4Life
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1 hour ago, usernameG said:

I still can't get over Larissa wore a Goodwill dress but yet they had a limo pick her up.

So Coltee saved a bundle on the dress.  Any odds on how much he’ll spend on the lawyer?  Personally, I’m betting on a public defender.

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25 minutes ago, happy hobo said:

On DV in Nevada, the bail amount is automatic (amt depends on if it is charged as a felony or a misdemeanor. (It might be that she had to stay for a judge if this was not her first time charged).  Also, Nevada MANDATES that DV arrests stay in the jail for 12 hours. (at least if not a felony). That being said, you get the paperwork/go to the phone and arrange bail immediately so that when they 12 hours are up.......you can leave.  

Yea.  When you go to jail it can take at least 24 hours.  A few hours to book you.  Transfer you to jail. Then you have to wait until the next business day to go in front of the judge.  You are read your charges, you make our plead and judge sets the bail.

Then when it is in the system you can get bail out.  They can pay cash but if the person has to go to the bail bond.....then that can add a few more hours.

 

Where I am at the judge works every day.  But, people have to remember you are getting charge with 50-100 people at a time.....especially if it is over the weekend and it is busy.  It is mostly fights, drugs, traffic or warrant violations. 

 

She is in Vegas....can you imagine how many people get arrested???  This is probably why it took 2 days!

Edited by Dance4Life
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24 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Leida, you have an expensive tiara from Paris but you’re getting married in a busted up conference room of a Day’s Inn? It’s hard to believe that she had a $300,00 first wedding,  but bitch got her green card. She’s done

Yep, and as I said in the live thread, 

I think Leida's legs snapped shut 2 seconds after the marriage was official. 

I don't see her in love (or lust) with Eric at ALL.

  He's going to have to beg for sex.

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5 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

Yep, and as I said in the live thread, 

I think Leida's legs snapped shut 2 seconds after the marriage was official. 

I don't see her in love (or lust) with Eric at ALL.

  He's going to have to beg for sex.

Put it in Proper!!!!!!  

 

Hahahahahaahha!  

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31 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

Olga, be very glad that Steven has gone back home to America. You have one child to look out for now, and not two.

Just tooled around the key words Russia, single mothers and found out that 1 out of 3 mothers are single parents.  They have government paid maternity leave, paid day care support and other programs.  I don't understand why people think the USA is so great we have none of those things.

35 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

Ashley, you saw the signs in Jay, and you still married him

What an idiot!  I bet she goes the way of Danielle/Mohammad and stays married to him so long she can't get him out of the country.  Cuz, he will eventually fall in love with this 12 years older woman with kids dontchaknow.

Kolani and her pregnancy - Who cares?  So what?  Having kids close together is actually smart since they can keep each other company and play together so parents can do their chores in peace.  Having a single or a lot of years between kids is actually harder.  What if she just got married and "got pregnant on her honeymoon"???? Happens all the time.  For her sister to get upset was just acting and the whole OMG was much ado about nothing.

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2 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

You can be Miss Universe or some other amazingly beautiful woman and a man can and will cheat on you.  It is something within him that needs to be healed and dealt with and has nothing to do with you. He will cheat with anyone - thin, fat, beautiful, homely, you name it. And Ashley, you also need to deal with whatever is within you.

He will cheat because he's a cheater and an opportunity presents itself. 

Ashley needs to find someone who doesn't need to be fixed. 

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3 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

You can be Miss Universe or some other amazingly beautiful woman and a man can and will cheat on you.  It is something within him that needs to be healed and dealt with and has nothing to do with you. He will cheat with anyone - thin, fat, beautiful, homely, you name it. And Ashley, you also need to deal with whatever is within you.

He already told us why he cheated.  He is bored home alone while mom is at work. Comes home, takes care of the young children and ignores the older child.

 

He is 20! 

She is already 30 and can’t have anymore kids.  In 5 years, (Yea, I know, it won’t last this long) he will be a completely different person.

 

If Jay was smart he would work on a job so we are not stuck with a bum ass Skinz Jr!

 

Ashley, hun, get in line with Danielle and Molly.  Too late to cry about the 10 years and annulments! 

 I wonder where her kids are.  She said she has 2 baby daddies that were abusive. Do they see their dads or does her family help raise them....???

 

All that money she could have spent on her kids!  Expensive D!  

Her kids will watch this show, too!

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When Eric couldn’t find his suit pants, I was expecting him to get married in his Dress Blues. 

My husband came into the room during the Eric/Leida wedding scene and asked, “Are they getting married in a funeral home?”

Edited by magemaud
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When Fernanda couldn't reach her mother on the wedding day, I was hoping for her sake that a last-minute visa had been approved and mama was on her way.  Jon's mother on the other hand was probably wishing that she had visa issues so that her grandma-sitting excuse wouldn't have looked so lame on tv.

I always sense by Leia's glazed over stare-slash-smile that Coltee's cousin John is often opinionated and she prides herself on being Switzerland.

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About Larissa’s legal trouble, know a bit as a former lawyer and from life experience. So here is a long, boring post - apologies.

1. Domestic battery = hands were laid on someone, a scratch or slap would do it.  Battery means it was more than a verbal argument.

2. If you call the police during a DV incident, they will come out. You can’t take it back or change your mind on the phone. Which is progress generally and for women in particular. Here, the police made a judgment call based on what they saw and heard after they got there. They then arrested Larissa.

3. If you get arrested on a Friday evening, in many states including mine (California) you will be in jail until sometime Monday for court.  It can be any kind of charge. This has happened twice to a male relative at age 18 and then 20.  (Idiot.)  No violent crime involved, and he was scared in jail for more than 48 hours each time. You cannot bail out on the weekend if you have not been to court yet. 

So once Colt made the phone call here, the other consequences (police visit, jail, charge) were pretty much lined up like dominoes. He didn’t know that.

Good news.  A decent (free) public defender, and there are some in Las Vegas, can help this charge go away with anger mgmt classes and/or community service, both of which may do her some good. And those outcomes can happen without a conviction. Or the court might be willing to drop it, if parties go to court-ordered therapy. Lots of possibilities for a court to look at here and help.

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5 hours ago, usernameG said:

Eric seems more concerned about losing his pants than his kids.

I still can't get over Larissa wore a Goodwill dress but yet they had a limo pick her up.

The limo is part of the package at the wedding chapel they used, even the cheapest $300 package includes the limo. The place they choose is actually one of the better deals in Vegas, for $300 you get the decorated venue, minister of your choosing, limo, and a video of the wedding. The cheesy Elvis one that Jay and Ashley had cost more and no limo or video. I'm just surprised Debbie did not have a skirt or dress. I appreciated the pink as a gesture but slacks at a wedding? and then the cousin in his Friendly's shirt. All I can think of is the ice cream place Friendly's but in Vegas it is a repair company. 

Did Leida ever say she was happy to be married to Eric. I heard her say she was happy to be in America. Happy to get her dream of being a doctor in America. Happy to be in the best country in the world but did not hear much about her love for Eric. Also just loved how she said having the youngest daughter there was enough, they did not need all 3! Her poor son looked so bored. I have thought maybe Eric was excited to have a son after 3 girls, might have been part of the appeal of Leida, he gets a son, but not a baby , and the father of the son will not be around. It was sad that Leida's son was not part of the ceremony? a ring bearer or Eric could not have had him next to him like a jr best man? 

Won't comment on Kalini except I say BS on her story as someone who lives in Southern Utah. 

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7 hours ago, usernameG said:

Eric seems more concerned about losing his pants than his kids.

I still can't get over Larissa wore a Goodwill dress but yet they had a limo pick her up.

If she hadn't told us it was from the Goodwill I never would have guessed it. I would've been none the wiser. I think the limo was probably part of the chapel wedding package. 

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40 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

Did Ashley's friend Brandi lose a bet?  Does she need to be as close to naked as possible, while still actually clothed?  I feel like wearing that outfit around kids could make her need to register as a sex offender.

Ashley is a bartender, maybe at or formally at a strip bar. Brandi is probably a co-worker (past or present) who was on her way from or to her shift as a bartender or stripper. Or, she's just a hooker.

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7 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Kalani looked like a goddess, her makeup was angelic, the sparkly belt very flattering, and Sexy Moves gave her the perfect, teary eyed, altar kiss. I'm so happy for them and their two babies and I wish them much happiness. Congratulations to the happy couple.

If you look back on my earlier recaps, I said that Sad Barbie chose Heavy Sack Jay "SKINZ Jr" because he was guaranteed to replicate her comfort zone romance scenario, which is to be cheated on, and take off. All the signs, "red flags" or as Ashley saw them, "irresistible attributes" were there. She could have picked a local compulsive adulterer with minimal hassle, but no, she had to import one barely out of his teens and is now responsible for him for a whole decade (until she's 41 and he's 30) while raising two small children. Ashley, you're a sweet gal, but you self-owned spectacularly. I could give some advice like "don't give him a second chance" but what's the use? Her impulse to select cheaters cannot be reasoned away.  Heavy Sack explained his transgressions with a multi-pronged defense. She' doesn't put out multiple times a day, he's bored, people are contacting him, she doesn't pay him enough attention, he left everything behind, it's the culture, it was just going to be a couple of texts (technically, "a couple" means TWO, not "a few"). He even makes a mockery of her reaction by boasting he'd be a total prince about it and would have forgiven her a similar "mistake."  He's like a combination of Mohamed & Luis.

GI Slob, with shameless macho bravado, announces that he approaches every day like a military mission - in which he forgets his pants. HIS PANTS!!! This is a metaphor for the life he and Lousy-da will spend together, dodging shrapnel from exploding land mines, breathing napalm fumes and being startled all night by rocket launchers, WITHOUT PANTS. Like the good little narcissist that he is, the ex-hobo says: "I wish my daughters were there so that I can tell them how important it is to me-me-me." When I counted 15 guests sitting on cheap chairs in a rented hotel hall, none of them being his two eldest daughters, I popped a huge revenge boner (I'm not sending fellow fans pictures of it, don't worry, but it was huge). Why bother with pants with so few in attendance? He can just tell them not to look down at his hairy legs, but I don't know, maybe he wants to hide some unsightly areas of gas gangrene. My heart broke for the little boy who was kneeling backwards on the chair, his forehead against the back of it, the whole time. Someone give that poor kid a hug.

Crueleida had her arms crossed during her makeup. Who does that? She's so angry all the time. But cheer up! Only the best for her, and that discount tiara is from Paris, not China like the rest of us plebes - not that I believe a word that comes out of her lying mouth. Her dress was a poorly fitted abomination. She's a very thin girl, but that dress made her look she wore a whiskey barrel for a corset. I recommend she doesn't wet her wedding ring, because the rock salt solitaire will quickly dissolve away.

That big crack across Old Rheumy Eyes' forehead always looks like it's about to start to speak, and show less methy teeth. Maybe it wouldn't say asinine things like "I'm choosing Turdy-da over my daughters, but in a good way!"  As far as the daughters are concerned, the she-devil can't help but add insult to injury: "Jenna was here and it's enough!"

After the pathetic, depressing nuptials with half-empty tables and a service of canned green beans and unseasoned chicken, Leida is delighted. She can now stay in America and pursue a medical career (probably more of an opportunity for her to smother and poison patients rather than heal them, maybe she should stick to working at the morgue or a coroner's office). And Eric is keeping his mouth shut about it, but we all know he wants her to support him with her big doctor salary. It's, after all, his last chance at... marrying someone with the potential to make bank and give him a hassle-free supply of prescription opioids - he'll be just as disappointed as she will be, and I want to be there to see it.

The Tell All is going to be lit: in the preview, her eyes are red, swollen and pissing tears. "Do you have money or not? You lied to me" Hahahahahah schadenfreude!

In Las Vegas, Freakazoid Colt, who Larissa has to beg for compliments, is effusive with Debbie. "Mom you look cute" he says in a very formal tone, as she wears his own baby pink work shirt, and he sports a matching baby pink tie that she lovingly puts on for him following the wikihow page. "You look so handsome," she coos. "You look beautiful," he returns, full of sincerity. Coltee is wearing what appears to be a massive adult diaper under his one-size-too small suit. She is to walk him down the aisle, because he has no best man. "It's like losing your son, it is sad," she laments. Now we have some real suspense! Will she let him go at the altar, or stick to him like a barnacle? Do the officiant keep a crow bar under his robe? In contrast, no one walks Larissa down the aisle, she goes solo.

After the couch fake out, the wedding dress budget broken promise where Larissa ended up with a dress from goodwill, the proposal in a tower that would give her anxiety and vertigo, the Lecherous Cretin has another malicious, passive-aggressive surprise for Larissa. Cousin Unfriendly will be there against her objections! Why? Because it's important to him! Larissa be damned. But as the Misogynistic Asswipe assures us, Larissa "managed to control herself" so I guess he's counting on her to suppress her righteous anger when she sees Raging Cousin in the assembly. And what a conspicuous display of disrespect he makes by showing up dressed even worse than Debbie, wearing his work T-shirt with an embroidered logo! Poor sport as ever, he keeps trashing Larissa after the ceremony, after she showed way more class than he did, by ignoring him. Good thinking, audio team, for jacking up the gain on the microphone to pick up the anemic applause after they shared their vows.

Next we find out that he called the police on Larissa over a verbal argument. Well, a call-and-hang-up, like the shitty drama queen that he is, probably to manipulate Larissa - but now his idiocy has backfired and the miser who won't spring for AC in his car is going to have to pay for an attorney. Curiously, no one mentions physical violence in the TV interview, so why was Larissa taken away from domestic battery? So here's what I think. There was no physical violence or fear thereof. Coltee is a manipulative little bitchee and lied to the police-ee. She probably sounded more emotional than he did, so they carted her away and charged her. He is an ugly, ugly person. Despicable and loathsome. I wish he had married Leida, but she's so perfect for Eric, too.

I can't wait for the tell all! So many villains crying. It will be great!

 

Your reviews are the Best! I am totally cracking up here! 

 

So, they called the cops on Larissa and didn’t even speak to the 911 operator??  That is so guilty!  People that do that don’t want their lies recorded and later incriminate themselves! 

 

Colt and Debbie acted ridiculous on their talking heads.  Guilty as Heck!

’we didn’t mean to call the police!’  Surrrrre, Jan!

 

As soon as Larissa got a little hot from the usual 2 against 1 bullying........this was Debbie.  LMAO

 

 

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Edited by Dance4Life
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45 minutes ago, thejuicer said:

I usually fast forward the wedding scenes because I think they're boring AF. But I really don't like guests who can't bother to dress up for someone's wedding. All the sights of flip flops, t-shirts, unkempt hair, untucked shirts make me want to rage. At my wedding my husband's (male, adult) cousin wore runners and I secretly haven't forgiven him since.  

Did Ashley refer to herself as "small and slim" or some similar words when she was lamenting on the fat 18 year old Jay cheated with? Is she for real? I don't consider her fat but when I think of Ashley I think of a curvy woman. The only thing small about her is her brain.

I consider Ashley slim- she’s of average height it looks like so she’s not “petite” but she’s not “curvy” by USA standards at all. From her bikini shots she’s toned, and looks like an adult woman (breasts, hips and buttocks) but to me “curvy” would be her with an extra 20/30lbs. Like a Christina Hendricks type or Ashley Graham type (Ashley Graham is model tall though at 5’11). But people have different standard- once in the This is Us thread someone said Mandy Moore was “large boned” and I was like “WUT?!!! That woman is tall, thin and willowy!”

 

There are women in this world that think that life will go a certain way for them because they fit the standard of beauty- it’s not their fault, young girls are fed this proganda (beauty equallying goodness or talent, assumptions that beautiful people are partnered & and treated better etc); but when these women get a little older and realized that life didn’t turn out “Golden” they became angry. I call it the “beautiful woman syndrome”- think of Halle Berry and her pattern of asshole men!!

 

I think Ashely has many insecurities and doesn’t love herself as much as she should, so she chooses guys that are not going to treat her well but initially she assumes they will because she is attractive. Ashley is only 31, she is pretty and seems decent (on a moral level)- no reason she couldn’t meet a guy that wants her for her (not a green card). 

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