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S23.E01: Week 1: Live Premiere

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13 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Or Siena, that went to Yale.  I'll never forget Arie saying "Wow - Yale?! I dropped out of high school and worked at Pizza Hut" with a big smile on his face.  It was so endearing.

Maybe people like that don't really have life goals to be on this show.

The world would be a better place if your last sentence was "Surely people like that don't really have life goals to be on this show."

 

12 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

That was Demi. I remembered her name b/c my nephew recently married a lovely Demi. This one, however, seemed decidedly low class, and not b/c her mom's in prison. Her comment that she hasn't dated a virgin since age 12 was kind of shocking. She 's just a tad too fast for Colton. 

What does that actually mean?  It seems to me she could have had a "boyfriend" in middle school, and then not "dated" again until she was in high school, and the boys she went out with then weren't virgins.  And even if everybody she dated from age 12 on wasn't a virgin, I don't think that has anything to do with her.

 

4 hours ago, Sterling said:

My first thought with the montage about the kids was that we'd see Sean & Catherine.  I kept waiting for it, and.....nothing.  Did not make sense.  What's going on with them?  I wonder if they're having marital issues?

Surely nothing a stint on Marriage Boot Camp couldn't fix.  Oh, wait...they did that already.

One thing for sure, though...you'll never convince me that they're just choosing to recede from the limelight in order to have a happy private life.

 

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Solid gold fun already!    Trista and Ryan's son says, with a puzzled look on his face:  "I thought they met in college." 

I was only barely watching, so I didn't realize they were Trista's and Ryan's kids who were being interviewed.  I think it's hilarious that he didn't know how they met.  And again, I was barely watching, but weren't they asked what they thought about getting married on TV and both said it would be creepy? 

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Why did one Bachelorette dress up as a Sloth?

I thought it was rude to bring your dog to meet the Bachelor at the introduction. Can she keep the dog as a therapy animal while on the show ?

15 hours ago, GracieK said:

I’m part Croatian and I’ve been to Croatia so that’s basically my criteria right now.. Nina is my girl. Plus her boobies looked 🔥 in that dress 😂

She was stunning. 

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15 hours ago, TheFinalRose said:

I am shocked, shocked that Sean Lowe has not shown up to give Colton advice yet. He wasn't even in the opening segment with Bachelor babies. Wut?

Did they explain why he wasn’t on the show  ? He ispart of Bachelor Royalty.

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Colton has this way of speaking as if he's reading from a script in his head but also laughing at himself for doing so at the same time. He's fake. The facial hair doesn't help ... he now reminds me of Mr. Tumnus from the Narnia movies.

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WHY can't we have a bachelor who says, "there are 30 women here, I want to have a chance to talk to everyone.  You had your turn, see you at the rose ceremony?"  

He could say it if he was anything other than a producer pawn. And every time she interrupted him he hugged her as if he'd never seen her before. 

The pre-game shouting and clapping and extolling of Colton's hotness was a farce. Colton was a very unpopular choice and Bachelor Nation was quite vocal about their displeasure. The pre-gaming just reeked of Fleiss and Harrison trying to gaslight the viewers into thinking there is another world where Colton as the Bachelor is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to this show.  And no thank you but I do not tune in to watch Randoms From Nowhere propose to each other or jump all over Ben Higgins (who, of course, always shows up.)

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I must admit that I actually enjoyed the Live portions of the show last night.  At first, it seemed like useless filler, but the past contestants who "hosted" the Live segments were actually really good at the job and managed to get their crowds of fans excited and involved in the proceedings.  I thought Jared and Ashley I. were particularly polished in their segments. 

I liked the first on-air proposal because it seemed at least a little spontaneous, but the 2nd one was so obviously pre-planned that it ruined it.  The pregnant bride-to-be's parents also "just happened" to be attending that viewing party, and were available to join their daughter on-camera once she said Yes?  I don't buy it!

I enjoyed the "Chris Harrison tribute" video, and he seemed actually moved when talking to his Mom.

On to the actual show.  I guess Colton likes blondes, huh?  haha  And not a single Tia look-a-like in the bunch!  Colton seems nice enough.  I thought he seriously needed a shave, but all those women kept complimenting his "scruff".  I thought he looked unkempt.  I was rooting for Miss Alabama (especially once Miss NC showed up and it turns out they know each other "professionally" haha), and sloth-girl (who got sent home-she was hot!).  The mean girl, Catherine, really needs to up her game.  "Interrupting" makes you rude, not a villain. 

Where were all the drunken flame-outs this season?  Where were the soul-crushing realizations that you MAY NOT succeed in life on just looks alone?  Where was all the passive-aggressive behavior? (Or the just plain aggressive behavior for that matter?)  I like my "Bachelor" shows with a much higher concentration of "the crazy" than what they served us last night!

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Were there previews shown at the end? If so, we did not get to see them. That’s my favorite part! 

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14 hours ago, saber5055 said:

 

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Raise your hand if seeing Jason made you wish he was the Bachelor. 🙋

*crickets*

Mileage will vary, and all of that, but the appeal of Jason truly eludes me. And I am hardly a Colton fanboy or anything like that. But to me, one charisma-less douche is the same as any other. And this franchise has never lacked for charisma-less douches. 

1 hour ago, Meowwww said:

I like Cassie.  She seems more normal than most.  

Cassie is my favorite. We'll see how far she gets with Colton, but I can tell you that if I were the Bachelor (and I am a charisma-less douche too, so why not?), this season would be as foregone a conclusion from the start as Ben Flapjack's season, where it was over the minute Courtney stepped out of the limo. 

The only competition would be Heather. Heather is adorable, but I am simply not buying her "never been kissed" schtick. Not for one minute. 

The only thing less believable is that Catherine woman saying she is 26. My ass she's 26. They did list her dog's age as 70 (in dog years), and quite honestly, I thought they mixed up the ages. 

Edited by reggiejax
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13 hours ago, tinkerbell said:

my goodness, Catherine is odd looking!    AND - she refers to her dog as her daughter.  I can accept when people say they are "mom"  to their dog, or call their dogs their fur-kids.   but not calling a dog "daughter."  that's just weird.    Oh, and she's 26?   I don't believe it.    50 year old women get cosmetic surgery to look younger.   At 26, her cosmetic procedures make her look OLDER!

 

Hannah G reminds me of Reese Witherspoon. 

The girl on the 4-wheeler - Demi - looks and sounds like Miranda Lambert.

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36 minutes ago, reggiejax said:

Mileage will vary, and all of that, but the appeal of Jason truly eludes me.

When a poster pages back asked if we wished Jason were TB, I figured that meant Molly's Jason, the one who invented The Mesnick Move. I've already forgotten any other Jasons, including any who were shown last night ... and I paid no attention to.

Jimmy Kimmel picked his winner (if you can call her a winner, being chosen by Colton) and runner up last night. He says his wife does the picking, and his choices always are correct. Which means, to me, that his wife reads RS and has been spoiled. So thanks, Jimmy, now I am spoiled too. Not that it makes any difference. Not sure if I'm in for the long run this season for, oh, so many reasons. It's not even fun to be a Wrong Reasons viewer any more.

Clue: Shark jump.

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4 hours ago, Kiki620 said:

I can't believe I connected this but Hannah's (of the first impression rose) face looked oddly familiar to me.  Turns out, she's a model on a clothing site I had just been looking at:  reddressboutique.com!  

Not a fan for some reason of Caelynn, Miss North Caroline.  I think her botox and lip injections rival Old Dog Lady's.  I looked her up to see what she's all about and her Miss USA platform is about sexual assault awareness and the importance of consent.  Seemed pretty ironic when Coltie lunged at her and started sucking her face and all she did was "tee-hee" over it.  

The other pageant girl is a little over the top and may become annoying, but I felt for her when she walked in the room and Caelynn was sitting there giving her the death stare and she had to explain that she had lost to Caelynn :-( 

Fast forwarded through every bit of the live crap.  Could there possibly be a single person who actually likes that part???    

She reminds me of Shanna Moakler.  I cannot abide the pageant personality/persona.

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1 hour ago, ByTor said:

You're not kidding!

I recognized Jo Jo, but in my wine drunken state, I had no clue that was Kaitlyn.  At all.  I had to search the internet to find out who the hell it was.  Jeezus.

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Hey, gang! Welcome to the Most Obviously Overcompensating Premiere in Bachelor History! Oof. That was painful to get through. I think this show just broke my spirit. I couldn’t even do my snarky watch-along note-taking per usual. The only takeaways I have is that I can’t believe Colton didn’t say no to the quadruple interruptor. And so far my pick is Cassie. She was like a walking spring breeze. She just looked so beautiful and fresh in that flowy floral dress, natural face, and mega-watt smile. The rest of the girls were so weighted down with makeup and sequins. I may change my pick once we get to know personalities, but  she gets my first impression rose.

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6 hours ago, LBS said:

They are all so young!  I can’t even imagine anyone of them as the Bachelorette.   Maybe that will change as the season progresses but as of now they all scream out Bachelor in Paradise fodder.

Caelyn reminds me of either Britt from Farmer Chris season or Sarah Lancaster (Ellie from Chuck)

Yes!! I was going to say that Caelynn looked like a cross between Britt and Gia(RIP)... Gia being much more beautiful imo 

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16 hours ago, Wandering Snark said:

Agreed. To merge my musical references... She's just like cross-town traffic in a little red Corvette.

That’s why I love her.  Trashy little miss. 

I’ll merge another musical reference and call her Fancy.  Not that I think she’s a working girl, but she’s a sly one. 

Edited by Mu Shu
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A few observations from my couch:

1) Thank goodness I don't watch this live and was able to FF through most of the live nonsense, although i did enjoy the Chris Harrison montage.

2) Colton is a super awkward hugger. He hugs with his arms and not his body - it looks like he is holding his body as far from their bodies as possible to avoid any contact other than arms and shoulders.

3) I'm enjoying all the talking heads where Colton and others have glitter all over their faces. 

4) I like how speech therapist chick (whose name escapes me) had enough self-confidence to wear a simple floral sundress and no glitter.

5) WTH happened to Kaitlyn Bristowe's face? I can only assume that as her mother warned her repeatedly when she was a little girl who made whacky faces (and grew into adulthood making same faces), it did, indeed, freeze that way.

Edited by NoWhammies
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12 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I thought all of the women were pretty, but they all looked just a like! Granted I’m new to this venture, I did see a few women of color in the mix, but I still think all the women looked just alike. They had similar features and the same type of figures, long straight hair- they even did their makeup the same way. 

One thing they always have is great figures.  

15 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

I think he already has.  He called Hannah "beautiful" right out of the limo and then gave her the first impression rose.  She's the same type as Ben Higgin's Lauren who he also fell for at first sight. Oh to be a tiny blonde with tiny eyes, tiny nose, tiny mouth and tiny little voice.  I find girls like that pretty but I save "beautiful," for someone with more dazzle. 

That first hour last night was excruciating.  Forced, fake enthusiasm from bad actors is so embarrassing to watch.  Jojo was smiling so hard it formed a crease down her face --- even with that, she's what I call beautiful.

The only one I care about is that poor little frightened Pomeranian.

I fast forwarded the first hour and any live shots.   

The one he gave the first impression rose to looked like his fraternal twin sister.

Edited by Lemons
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12 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

Can't we try something else, like a girl who says catty things about the other girls to the camera, or steals their shoes if they kick them off for a minute

That reminds me of the poor girl that gave away her shoe and never got it back from Colton. Heh, best laid plans that he'd come to her and give her her shoe back huh?

8 hours ago, tinkerbell said:

saw women sitting around drinking from coffee cups.  did the party go on till morning, and they were having coffee?    I wonder if some of them thought, "he's a virgin, so he's looking for a 'good girl',  maybe I should refrain from alcohol and have some tea."

I mentioned that too as it's the first time I've seen them sipping from coffee cups instead of champagne flutes and other obvious bar drinks. And yes the "party" went way til morning as it was bright sunlight out when the girls came out after the rose ceremony. I'd have needed a cup of coffee to stay awake too as the only "prize" was to talk to a boring bachelor for 5 minutes if not interrupted before then. I wonder how many second-guess their wanting to be on this dog and pony show (as Colton was the pony, literally, and we had the dog as well!!). after the first day of shooting sitting around in a dress and uncomfortable shoes (or shoe) all night into morning...

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That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I kept wondering if Catherine was someone in drag Probably not, but still.... I felt sorry for the dog. Its legs were reaching for Catherine when being passed to Colton.

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I think the availability of coffee is directly related to the Corinne and DeMario BIP debacle—and subsequent reduction in the alcohol pushing—moreso than because this went any later than normal. (They always leave the “first night” after daybreak.) I remember reading articles in the past that it was hard for contestants to get anything other than alcohol, and now since the BIP debacle they have gone the other extreme and limit alcohol consumption. This probably explains why these last handful of shows since then are a lot more boring—no one getting insanely drunk and acting off the wall.

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The Sarah Lancaster vibe with Miss North Carolina was distracting.  I kept going GIFT SHOP GIRL!

image.png.9173e166d744ea1c7345f75b8b6cda5b.png

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Colton looked like it was physically painful to call Dog Lady's name when he was handing out roses.

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@phlebas yes!  I wrote that earlier but couldn’t download a picture on my phone!  Totally agree 

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23 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Raise your hand if seeing Jason made you wish he was the Bachelor. 🙋

Ironically, the reason why I wish he was the Bachelor is probably the very reason why he shouldn't be the Bachelor. He's articulate, mature, and has a personality. We know the show can't have that all season.

I actually like Ashley I and Jared together. They compliment each other well. Ashley I's new haircut really suits her.

At this point in the show the women still all look alike. The constant comments about his virginity were over the top and even inappropriate at times. Imagine if it was a Bachelorette, and the suitors discussed taking her v-card during their introductions. To his credit, though, Colton was a good sport, though more likely it was a condition of his contract to go along with the theme of the season. 

Every season I FF more. They need to change it up.  

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Yeah but I think Sarah Lancaster is gorgeous.  The North Carolina woman looked like pure plastic surgery to me.

Sarah Lancaster has pretty much always been that gorgeous.

savedsarah02-06.jpg

I have to admit, Colton is not a disaster so far and I found the premiere interesting enough.  I wasn't bored.  Whoever edits the "Preview for the entire season" should get a Pulitzer, because they always make the season look amazing.  Colton jumping over the wall was the funniest/craziest thing I've seen in a while.  Somebody made a GIF of that and I was dying.

 

Also, I have to admit he looked handsome in the preview.  I was all ready for this to be awful, but so far, better than I had feared.  I think he's feeling the pressure of the negative reaction, because he is trying to make it very clear that he's into kissing people.

DwXEQHBVsAALy6F.jpg

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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On 1/7/2019 at 9:31 PM, RedheadZombie said:

She looks and sounds like Camille Grammer, who is fifty years old

Yes, 1000 times. I was waiting for Allison DuBois to show up.

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12 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I just find Bachelor in Paradise so much more interesting and entertaining than this bore. I watch The Bachelor only because I want to know who I'm watching when I watch Paradise. 

It's funny, because I don't like BiP and only watch it so that I'll be up-to-date for whatever the impact is going forward with the contestants afterward...like this season, all kinds of couples formed that seem to be making it in the real world.

13 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Did anyone else notice that the orchestra playing music was playing this song from "Arrival"?

What made no sense about the orchestra, is the music they were playing was not in any way the right rhythm for the kind of dancing she was trying to teach.

10 hours ago, TheFinalRose said:

And every time she interrupted him he hugged her as if he'd never seen her before. 

That was the oddest thing.  Could you imagine in real life, if every time a family member went into the kitchen to get a snack, you hugged them when they came back?

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On 1/7/2019 at 11:01 PM, crgirl412 said:

Why don't they ever have any intellectuals?  More like Charlene (the opera singer) would be refreshing.  Smart people can be good looking too!

I am an RN and have seen lots of good looking male and female docs.  

Don't forget that Dr. Travis Storck was The Bachelor, in season 8.  He then successfully parlayed his 15 minutes of TB fame into the very successful daytime talk show The Doctors.

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Well, I'm back. To be honest, I fully intended on skipping this season because I'm petty, and I wanted the franchise to feel my wrath by losing my all-important viewership. Instead, I've gotten my vengeance by being fully spoiled for the first time ever, so... take that, Fleiss...! Plus, I need to know who I'll be watching on BiP.

So, if we can swiftly move past the unbelievably cringey live fan segments, I am actually all in for the group of women this season. There are some very good looking girls in the bunch (the Cuban I think, Nicole?, for instance, can stick around just for her face- she looks like Rose Byrne).

17 hours ago, phlebas said:

Sloth girl was cute once she got out of the costume. I'm assuming "I'll wear a stupid sloth costume" is another way of saying "I was hoping for Jason to be the Bachelor."

BINGO! I was like, this girl must have signed up for Jason and now she doesn't give a fuck. Climbing trees and out-weirding Colton.

Demi though is going to be my absolute favorite. Stick around and entertain me, you pint-sized confetti cupcake!

I also liked Nut Girl. I wish they'd stop showing us shirtless sexless Colton. I was glad at least fake-Aussie dropped a "how ya goin'" at the live show to add some authenticity. I'd rather have a Courtney and Lilly show really but I'll have to survive on their Instagram stories. And I'm all here for the sequins (SPARKLE) but Demi's yellow dress probably was my actual favorite of the night. The Harrison montage was the highlight of the show. Eh... I thought I had more. I don't. I'll be here this season, but I'm watching every week with my friend so technically they aren't getting that extra view from me! Bastards.

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1 hour ago, Mint Julep said:

Yes, 1000 times. I was waiting for Allison DuBois to show up.

Or the morally corrupt Faye Resnick...best dinner party evah!

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30 minutes ago, jade.black said:

I also liked Nut Girl.

I think it was when 'cinderella' came in in her carriage there was a grouping of girls watching and Nut Girl said (approx) 'Geez all I did was give him a bag of nuts!' it was the timing of it that was perfect. May have been my favorite moment of the night.

33 minutes ago, jade.black said:

this girl must have signed up for Jason and now she doesn't give a fuck. Climbing trees and out-weirding Colton

Or she is terribly easy to convince to do things as I could just picture producers saying 'You're Sloth Girl now honey, how about you climb this tree and we'll get a few shots.' The oddest thing though is that she was actually perfectly normal looking. I was thinking she'd been splashed with acid or something under there.

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5 hours ago, NoWhammies said:

A few observations from my couch:

2) Colton is a super awkward hugger. He hugs with his arms and not his body - it looks like he is holding his body as far from their bodies as possible to avoid any contact other than arms and shoulders.

 

He’s a football player.  Holding is a penalty.  Which is why he also avoids Illegal Use of the Hands and Helmet to Helmet contact resulting in an erection, I mean ejection.

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7 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:
17 hours ago, TheFinalRose said:

And every time she interrupted him he hugged her as if he'd never seen her before. 

That was the oddest thing.  Could you imagine in real life, if every time a family member went into the kitchen to get a snack, you hugged them when they came back?

I'll bet a producer suggested he hug each girl who comes up to him, either out of the limo or at the cocktail party, and Colton just kept doing it on automatic, all night long.  The virgin thing is already played out, so I plan to watch this season counting evidence  that Colton will make TV history as the Most Stupid Bachelor Ever.

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11 hours ago, Wandering Snark said:

I wonder how many second-guess their wanting to be on this dog and pony show

I’d say little to none as I’m sure they all are hoping to hit it big as an Instagram-influencer and make millions...

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2 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

The virgin thing is already played out, so I plan to watch this season counting evidence  that Colton will make TV history as the Most Stupid Bachelor Ever.

Colton's odds seem good but it won't be easy wrenching that honor off reigning title holder, Chris Soules. 

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12 hours ago, JenE4 said:

I think the availability of coffee is directly related to the Corinne and DeMario BIP debacle—and subsequent reduction in the alcohol pushing—moreso than because this went any later than normal. (They always leave the “first night” after daybreak.) I remember reading articles in the past that it was hard for contestants to get anything other than alcohol, and now since the BIP debacle they have gone the other extreme and limit alcohol consumption. This probably explains why these last handful of shows since then are a lot more boring—no one getting insanely drunk and acting off the wall.

There was also a ton of food on the buffet behind the girls.  I'd never seen that before.  It appeared to be a pretty substantial spread.

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On 1/7/2019 at 7:02 PM, dizzyd said:

My gaydar is pinging big time!

Same! I swear I watch this show just so I can take part in this forum. Last season's Bachelorette was my very first ever! This is my first Bachelor! But I think that Colton is gay and not out due to his family/upbringing/home state? 

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22 hours ago, alexa said:

I never understand this either.  It is in their best interest to meet all of the women they can or they could easily be missing the one.  It can't be that hard to say, I have enjoyed talking to you, but it is so and so's turn now.  Jeez

I’m sure he’s told by producers that if someone interrupts he has to go along with it. It’s not like Colton has no idea what is going to happen. After the Bach is picked, he works with producers and signs a contract on what’s going down. He knows there are producer plants that he has to keep around, he has to act oblivious to the cattiness (DRAMA) going on. He has to talk up whatever angle the show wants (virginity). He has to talk about love and finding love and how the process is working. The show isn’t about Colton finding his soulmate, it’s about ABC producing something they think is entertaining, and this is what they’ve decided they want. If you watch closely, though, you’ll see the Bach start getting annoyed with some of the girls, even though he keeps picking them. 

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1 hour ago, Stan39 said:

I’m sure he’s told by producers that if someone interrupts he has to go along with it. It’s not like Colton has no idea what is going to happen. After the Bach is picked, he works with producers and signs a contract on what’s going down. He knows there are producer plants that he has to keep around, he has to act oblivious to the cattiness (DRAMA) going on. He has to talk up whatever angle the show wants (virginity). He has to talk about love and finding love and how the process is working. The show isn’t about Colton finding his soulmate, it’s about ABC producing something they think is entertaining, and this is what they’ve decided they want. If you watch closely, though, you’ll see the Bach start getting annoyed with some of the girls, even though he keeps picking them. 

I understand all of that, as I have been watching since it started.  But I still think that since the lead can make all of these other choices throughout the process and change things up, that they could also say to a person that they have other people to talk to.  I have no doubt that they could say and do that.  I get the drama aspect, though.  I just think some leads would prefer to meet everyone versus talking to the weirdo all night.

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I'm loving all of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills references!!  Many of these girls are basically Housewives-in-Training.  Has the B ever had a medium on? 

It would cool to show what the girls do with all of their time.  If it's really nothing, they could could bring in mediums, hold cooking classes, spa days, etc. just like on the HW shows. 

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13 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Yeah but I think Sarah Lancaster is gorgeous.  The North Carolina woman looked like pure plastic surgery to me.

She *is* gorgeous. Miss Underwood is no Sarah Lancaster.  But she does have features and (most particularly) her lip shape that made me think of Sarah.

All IMHO of course :)

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20 hours ago, JenE4 said:

I think the availability of coffee is directly related to the Corinne and DeMario BIP debacle—and subsequent reduction in the alcohol pushing—moreso than because this went any later than normal. (They always leave the “first night” after daybreak.) I remember reading articles in the past that it was hard for contestants to get anything other than alcohol, and now since the BIP debacle they have gone the other extreme and limit alcohol consumption. This probably explains why these last handful of shows since then are a lot more boring—no one getting insanely drunk and acting off the wall.

That could be, but I do remember on night one of Nick's season Rachel was walking around with a coffee mug.  Unless that mug was full of scotch :)

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20 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Yeah but I think Sarah Lancaster is gorgeous.  The North Carolina woman looked like pure plastic surgery to me.

Sarah Lancaster has pretty much always been that gorgeous.

savedsarah02-06.jpg

I have to admit, Colton is not a disaster so far and I found the premiere interesting enough.  I wasn't bored.  Whoever edits the "Preview for the entire season" should get a Pulitzer, because they always make the season look amazing.  Colton jumping over the wall was the funniest/craziest thing I've seen in a while.  Somebody made a GIF of that and I was dying.

 

Also, I have to admit he looked handsome in the preview.  I was all ready for this to be awful, but so far, better than I had feared.  I think he's feeling the pressure of the negative reaction, because he is trying to make it very clear that he's into kissing people.

DwXEQHBVsAALy6F.jpg

I have to admit that he made that fence his bitch.  That was pretty badass the way he nonchalantly cleared it. 

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Is it just me or do all the blonde women look alike?  There definitely has to be some paring down or unusual behavior before I remember who is who.  How does Colton remember the names of these women enough to know who to call out at the rose ceremony?  I'm surprised he doesn't have a cheat sheet of some kind while he is talking to the various women noting which ones he wants "to get to know better".

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3 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

I don't think that a hug of a stranger just met should comprise anything BUT "arms and shoulders." 

I'm not a fan of hugging strangers (or casual acquaintances). So my personal choice upon meeting a complete and utter stranger would be no hug at all. But this is the land of the bachelor handshake, so anything less just seems....chaste. 

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2 hours ago, Palomar said:

Is it just me or do all the blonde women look alike?  There definitely has to be some paring down or unusual behavior before I remember who is who.  How does Colton remember the names of these women enough to know who to call out at the rose ceremony?  I'm surprised he doesn't have a cheat sheet of some kind while he is talking to the various women noting which ones he wants "to get to know better".

There was  once some " behind the scenes" info that the rose ceremony is spliced together to make it seem like one seamless thing. The bachelor comes out, hands out 3 or 4 roses,  goes back to confer with CH, hands out a few more, etc. And, I recall that the order shown isn't always the order the roses  are given.

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1st impressions...


1. Bri
2. Hannah G
3. Cassie
4. Demi
5. Annie


Bri's fake accent was a bit silly but they all do silly stuff at the introductions and she's a smoking hot model so she gets my top spot for now. Hannah G will probably end up there as she seems more like wife material. 

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Colton's fashion mistakes:

  1. A steel bracelet watch with a blue face does not match the formality of a business suit. He should have gone with a leather bracelet and white or black dial.
  2. His tie was far too skinny for his frame and much skinnier than the lapels of his suit jacket. Stop giving muscular wide-bodied dudes skinny ties!
  3. His shirt collar was too big for his neck, so his tie was crumpling it.

The things I liked about this opener:

  1. Introductions - Always the highlight of every season for me.
  2. The Cuban-Floridian woman was low-key funny. I would get along with her.
  3. The Chris Harrison highlight package was kind of fun, even thought it was ultimately filler.
  4. JoJo - For shallow reasons.
  5. Police Car Reaction - One of the bachelorettes reacted to the siren with, "That's the sound of the police!" I wonder if she even knows who KRS-One is, but I still enjoyed the quote all the same.
  6. Colton - He might be too dull for TV, but he was likable enough for me. His conversations were a nice mix of light and serious, and I think he could actually be trying to find a partner.

The things I didn't like:

  1. The season's designated "bitch."
  2. The constant woo/squeal-ing of the live audience.
  3. The proposals from people I don't know.
  4. Krystal - I genuinely dislike her.
  5. Ages - The show is skewing much younger this season, and I suddenly feel old.
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This season might be the one that pushes me off the train entirely. Aside from the duck-lipped producer plant, all of the girls seemed fairly nice to each other. Very little catty commentary as people were arriving and quite a few seemingly genuine welcomes/compliments to the arriving girls. WTF? 

If the lead seems like a snore and a dullard (as Colton certainly does), I at least need a dramatic crop of girls. Chris Soules, the reigning dullard record holder, had Ashley I's nonstop dramatics, Ashley S's weirdness, and Britt's "who me? You like little old meeeeeee?" routine to stir up the group. 

I really don't know if Colton is gay, but he does not give off a vibe of genuine interest in women. The first girl he kissed was such a weirdly timed kiss ambush. There was an awkward "all right, I'll see you later..." as she seemed about to get up and leave and then bam! He's a weird kisser too, he seems to keep his head entirely straight. 

Whatever his deal is, I think it's going to make for an awkward season of watching him try to do a paint-by-numbers imitation of a person falling in love (or the Bachelor-land facsimile of it) without any genuine feelings behind it.

Granted, I'm sure I missed a ton of the show since fast forwarding through the "live party" nonsense may have meant accidentally skipping actual show bits too. Either they knew this premiere was a snoozer and tried to do anything they could to distract from it or this show has gone completely up its own ass and needs to make an event out of everything.

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I’m torn between making fun of Colton and liking him.  He’s a good looking guy who would probably be a great match for the right girl or guy.  If only he would sneak off with one of the cameramen like that ho Roz.  

I have no idea what his preference is.  I get the feeling he doesn’t know what he wants.

but I’ll continue to make fun of him because it is my job.  

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