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Steven & Olga: Babies With Babies

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On 12/19/2018 at 7:27 AM, brillia79 said:

I take what “friends” say with a grain of salt. Friends are notoriously bad at assessing how someone behaves in a romantic relationship. How many times have we seen friends talk about what a great guy someone is... while being interviewed on the news because the “great guy” was arrested for killing his wife and kids? Too many times. Hell, too many times this Fall even.

People spend way too much time providing cover for monsters.

Amen.

Plus, remember who Steven's friends must be.  These are probably guys with little education who work when they have to, drink and skateboard when they don't need money, and view women as lesser creatures, good for a fuck but not much else.  Steven's friends are 99.9% more likely to be people like him than they are to be mature, self-supporting family men.  So of course they think he's great.  He's probably now the most successful of them all.

ETA:  And I truly don't believe Steven is smart enough to figure out that acting as he does creates more drama which ensures further  employment from TLC.  I think if this were performance art we'd know it.

Edited by Mothra · Reason: ...and another thing...
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On 12/17/2018 at 10:58 AM, Chickabiddy said:

 

In retaliation for the sanctions put in place by the Magnitsky Act, the Putin regime halted all US adoptions of Russian children...even adoptions that were in the final stages were halted. The reason given  was that the Russian heritage and identity of those children needed to be protected from Americans swooping in to deny them the their cultural birthright. 

Thats pretty sad, as Russian orphanages qs absolutely terrible places to grow up. Think babies who are never picked up and learn not to cry. 

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22 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

It’s per season, not per episode. That’s why he’s got a GoFundMe up, if he were making that much money per episode, he’d be rolling in dough.

Nope.  According to David Poor's friends:

So how much do the 90 Day Fiance cast members get paid? I am uncertain if it is the same for everyone, but according to Nikki and Chris, David got paid $1,000 per episode and $2,500 to appear on the Tell All special. (It’s important to note that cast members do not appear in all of the episodes.) Annie did not get paid at all. That probably sounds REALLY low to most folks, and I would argue that it is EGREGIOUSLY low!

https://starcasm.net/90-day-fiance-chris-nikki-respond-to-annie-massage-scene-reveal-how-much-cast-members-get-paid/

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4 hours ago, Rdh1314 said:

It takes two.  Olga was EQUALLY at fault when that baby was conceived.  Young ladies out there (I'M talking to YOU, Kalani, you moron!), stop crying victim when you have consensual unprotected sex and wind up pregnant. 

True, but it’s not Olga who posted a GoFundMe to digitally panhandle money. That’s Steven. Which makes me wonder how he thought he could afford the K1 process? Or a baby in one of the more expensive parts of the country (Bowie is one of the nicer parts of Prince Georges County and the expense creep from Montgomery County and DC proper is very real).

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1 hour ago, Mothra said:

Nope.  According to David Poor's friends

If they are discussing true salaries, and not ones they pulled out of a hat, they will encur a fine. A hefty fine. They all sign a non-disclosure agreement, violating that will cost them. And I personally think paying these people anything is too much, they are acting like fools for the most part.

Steven doesn’t know what SSN means. Yeah, he’s the doctor I want treating my illnesses.

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4 hours ago, Rdh1314 said:

It takes two.  Olga was EQUALLY at fault when that baby was conceived.  Young ladies out there (I'M talking to YOU, Kalani, you moron!), stop crying victim when you have consensual unprotected sex and wind up pregnant. 

But, correct me if I am wrong, I think Steven set up the go fund me. Olga seems to be putting her head down and trying to get things done.

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8 hours ago, MrFluffy said:

Olga, please just disappear into the night with your baby. People will help you and he won't be able to figure it out.

Clearly, he's never had a job that required a SSN

Or served in the Navy (SSN stands for nuclear submarine).

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25 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

But, correct me if I am wrong, I think Steven set up the go fund me. Olga seems to be putting her head down and trying to get things done.

That may be true. I'm basically sick of people portraying him though as some criminal who wrongly fathered a child with a willing participant (who must be a Saint) because he didn't use a condom. Poor Olga! How could she know that having sex is how babies are made? PLEASE.  It's pathetic that people BLAME the birth of a beautiful,  innocent,  baby on the immature 20 year old male in this situation.  The female, Olga, was EQUALLY immature.  Facts are facts...those two had an intense connection and attraction to each other when they met. And now there is a baby.  For the love of God, if a 20 year old young woman is old enough to enjoy having sex with a guy and doesn't want to get pregnant she should be on birth control or go out and buy the condoms herself.  Oh, and Kalani totally disgusts me. The end.

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Kalani is crying over a pregnancy she helped create. Of course I don't know if Olga cried when she first found out she was pregnant, but as of now she doesn't seem to have any 'woe is me' attitude & doesn't seem to be blaming anyone for anything.

To be fair, I don't know if she has her hand out too & is supportive of Steven's GFM, but she doesn't seem to have much of a say in what he does. He has said repeatedly he doesn't want to be told what to do. However, he is going to people for help & following instructions, so maybe this just applies to Olga. Steven has shown himself to be a controlling person with her in many ways. One thing that demonstrates this & irritates me to no end is he is always interrupting her; she can't finish a thought. When you're with someone like that eventually the lesson is you have no voice. A certain personality might just give up. I hope that's not her & she's not going to let him run their lives completely. I hope she has a voice, or finds one quickly.

Edited by gonecrackers
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6 hours ago, Rdh1314 said:

It takes two.  Olga was EQUALLY at fault when that baby was conceived.  Young ladies out there (I'M talking to YOU, Kalani, you moron!), stop crying victim when you have consensual unprotected sex and wind up pregnant. 

Absolutely agreed!!  BC is for both, I was referring to Steven setting up the GoFundMe account.  

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According to Steven's GFM page, he is in an apprenticeship program to become a Fire Sprinkler Installer.  This program takes *four years*.  Then I presume he will be ?licensed? or something?  Four years to become certified to install sprinkler systems?  How long is a regular plumber apprenticeship?  I think that would be a more profitable path to pursue, plus it's not like Steven grew up dreaming of installing sprinklers.  He's enrolled in college (I'd like some details; isn't he a high school dropout?  Do community colleges not require HS diploma or GED for degree programs?) leading to a career he *really* wants to pursue, but that takes *eight* years.

Looking at online job postings for sprinkler installer apprentices, every one required HS diploma or GED.  Maybe Steven passed his GED.

Meanwhile, I guess Olga does not yet have her green card because Steven says she won't be able to work for a long time.  As soon as she is able to work or go to college, would it make more sense for her to be the breadwinner since she has at least some college?  Then Steven's son could *really* imprint on his dad.  Does anyone really think Steven could tolerate staying home with a small child, even His Son?

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1 hour ago, brillia79 said:

Literally no one is blaming Steven for the pregnancy and no one but The Family Kahlani is blaming Asuelo for Kahlani’s 2 pregnancies - and we’ve already determined they are fools. So why conflate the 2 separate storylines to erect a straw man argument in defense of Steven?

Steven presents abusive behaviors on camera. Steven presents astonishing levels of immaturity and lack of understanding of an infant’s needs on camera. I’m going to need to see where Olga has been abusive or insistent that her desires come before the baby’s? People are responding negatively to Steven based on his onscreen actions. If he doesn’t like it, too fucking bad. Get counseling.

But trying to apply a “both sides” argument to Steven and Olga when we can literally watch Olga with her own place to live, as a student, and tending to an infant while recovering from a c-section (and an overgrown infant who demands she stops feeding the newborn to tend to his needs), while we watch Steven fail at life while asking others to pay for his desire to raise a baby in the US makes both-siderism fall flat.

Thank you for stating this so eloquently!  I'm at a loss to see how anyone can even remotely defend him based on what we've seen on camera.  Even if you can convince yourself it is a "bad edit" how do you excuse him saying the baby can wait to eat, chiding her on putting a helpless infant first, making threats to leave the country with baby sans baby's mom.  The worst you can say about her is she chose a terrible mate to have a baby with.  Nowhere have I seen people blaming HIM for the pregnancy itself.  

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4 hours ago, Rdh1314 said:

That may be true. I'm basically sick of people portraying him though as some criminal who wrongly fathered a child with a willing participant (who must be a Saint) because he didn't use a condom. Poor Olga! How could she know that having sex is how babies are made? PLEASE.  It's pathetic that people BLAME the birth of a beautiful,  innocent,  baby on the immature 20 year old male in this situation.  The female, Olga, was EQUALLY immature.  Facts are facts...those two had an intense connection and attraction to each other when they met. And now there is a baby.  For the love of God, if a 20 year old young woman is old enough to enjoy having sex with a guy and doesn't want to get pregnant she should be on birth control or go out and buy the condoms herself.  Oh, and Kalani totally disgusts me. The end.

You're ignoring the REAL points that people are making about Steven; the fact that he's abusive towards Olga and their baby.

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4 hours ago, Rdh1314 said:

That may be true. I'm basically sick of people portraying him though as some criminal who wrongly fathered a child with a willing participant (who must be a Saint) because he didn't use a condom. Poor Olga! How could she know that having sex is how babies are made? PLEASE.  It's pathetic that people BLAME the birth of a beautiful,  innocent,  baby on the immature 20 year old male in this situation.  The female, Olga, was EQUALLY immature.  Facts are facts...those two had an intense connection and attraction to each other when they met. And now there is a baby.  For the love of God, if a 20 year old young woman is old enough to enjoy having sex with a guy and doesn't want to get pregnant she should be on birth control or go out and buy the condoms herself.  Oh, and Kalani totally disgusts me. The end.

What?  That isn't why Steven is being vilified.  It's because of how he's been treating Olga, and threatening to take a nursing, newborn baby away from its Mother.  Can you link to a post where someone said she wasn't to blame for getting pregnant? Because I don't recall anyone ever saying that.

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53 minutes ago, Honey said:

What?  That isn't why Steven is being vilified.  It's because of how he's been treating Olga, and threatening to take a nursing, newborn baby away from its Mother.  Can you link to a post where someone said she wasn't to blame for getting pregnant? Because I don't recall anyone ever saying that.

I'm not going to waste my time finding every time a person mentioned that HE was a jerk to not use a condom.  

Edited by Rdh1314

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1 hour ago, AsiagoSauce said:

You're ignoring the REAL points that people are making about Steven; the fact that he's abusive towards Olga and their baby.

The REAL point is that none of us know any of these people. And apparently,  Steven and Olga are still very much together.  Here.  With their baby. The thread indicates "spoilers." I hope they both grow up and can make things work.   

Edited by Rdh1314

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1 hour ago, Rdh1314 said:

The REAL point is that none of us know any of these people. And apparently,  Steven and Olga are still very much together.  Here.  With their baby. The thread indicates "spoilers." I hope they both grow up and can make things work.   

The REAL point is we're all watching the same show and we're seeing what they are giving us.  You are seemingly upset about comments that have never occurred here -- no one is blaming Steven only for their pregnancy.  We're only commenting on what Steven has shown us on this show; what has come out of his mouth.  HIS actions.  Whether they are "still very much together" isn't meaningful to me.  Their being here with their baby doesn't excuse his threat to leave the country with Richie, without her.  Their being together is not some sign to me that he's matured.  Or that his actions on video were the result of a bad edit or that he's not that bad a guy.   It's no indication that he's grown up.  That's he's matured. Women often stay with abusive men, particularly when their options are limited.

I hope for Olga's sake and Richie's sake he does grow up and does get his shit together.  But I can't assign blame to Olga for anything other than having terrible taste in men and not protecting herself from an unwanted pregnancy.

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1 hour ago, Rdh1314 said:

The REAL point is that none of us know any of these people. And apparently,  Steven and Olga are still very much together.  Here.  With their baby. The thread indicates "spoilers." I hope they both grow up and can make things work.   

People stay in bad relationships all the time. It doesn’t mean all is gravy.

We don’t know these people beyond what they present to us. And what they have presented is Steven being dismissive, controlling, selfish, angry, verbally abusive, and having problems with authority. All with Olga apologizing to HIM. That’s a matter of one of them needing counseling for his issues. And the other needing to seriously consider what a green card will ultimately cost her if she is at the mercy of the other. The only growing Olga needs to do is the kind where you learn to spot red flags.

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35 minutes ago, brillia79 said:

 The only growing Olga needs to do is the kind where you learn to spot red flags.

That's the ONLY growing Olga needs to do? That's a pretty low standard for any 20 year old, lol. Hopefully people do more "growing" beyond the point of just learning to spot a red flag- obviously part of growing up is learning how to respond and deal with the red flags. And you won't get far in life if you don't 

But your comment is interesting,  because it's another one that is so clearly biased in that Olga is a poor victim. Perfect in character though in every way. 

 BTW, I like Olga VERY much.  Even though I don't know her. 😉

Edited by Rdh1314

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3 minutes ago, Rdh1314 said:

That's the ONLY growing Olga needs to do? That's a pretty low standard for any 20 year old, lol. Hopefully people do more "growing" beyond the point of just learning to spot a red flag- obviously part of growing up is learning how to respond and deal with the red flags. And you won't get far in life if you don't 

But your comment is interesting,  because it's another one that is so clearly biased in that Olga is a poor victim. Perfect in character though in every way. 

 BTW, I like Olga VERY much.  Even though I don't know her. 😉

The way to respond to red flags is to leave. Not wait for a person who doesn’t see anything wrong with his behaviors to miraculously grow in a positive direction.

Yeah, she is a victim of Steven’s behaviors on camera. Just not of him getting her pregnant. Which again, no one here even claimed.

Olga has general growing that everyone does with age. But her maturity level is light years ahead of Steven. And from the sounds of it, her upbringing was rougher than Steven’s, though he sure does like to throw his in her face as a manipulation tactic.

If it makes me biased to point out Steven’s abusive behaviors, then I’ll take that label and wear it proudly. But what I won’t be is an apologist for an abuser. And I won’t craft a narrative contrary to what is shown on the show where the “female” must be partially to blame for that abusers actions. Nor one where abuse is excused because of age.

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53 minutes ago, brillia79 said:

We don’t know these people beyond what they present to us. And what they have presented is Steven being dismissive, controlling, selfish, angry, verbally abusive, and having problems with authority. All with Olga apologizing to HIM.

Yep - and the bolded part is classic abuser/victim lingo:  "Look what you made me do!"  "I am sorry!!!"  Like, what the hell?  Bottom line:  they both needed to discuss birth control as no one seems to think sperm + egg = baby applies to them.  But the baby is out of the barn, so to speak, and we have seen Steven telling Olga to put HIS emotional needs before feeding and caring for a tiny baby.  The whole "We need to work on WE, we can't forget about US" made me want to hurl.  Oh Obi Wan, you are our only hope for relationship advice,  Please......tell me more!!!  Yes please tell me more, young 20 yr old who has a trail of broken relationships behind him, is unemployed and frankly has a stare that gives me chills.

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Absolutely last thing I'll say regarding Steven, and this really is in no way a defense of him..

I'll just paraphrase some comments I can recall regarding him-

GET A JOB OR WEAR A CONDOM

I HOPE SOMEONE MURDERS HIM AND THEY USE HIM AS FERTILIZER IN PUTIN'S GARDEN

HE'S A MONSTER AND IS GOING TO GIVE THAT BABY SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME 

There's SO much more, but bottom line is sometimes comments come across a bit hateful which I find distasteful.  Being snarky and obnoxious is fun, so I get that. I've got to wonder how many (few) people on here are actually parents who have raised BOTH boys and girls past the age of 20!

Edited by Rdh1314
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3 minutes ago, Rdh1314 said:

Absolutely last thing I'll say regarding Steven, and this really is in no way a defense of him..

I'll just paraphrase some comments I can recall regarding him-

GET A JOB OR WEAR A CONDOM

I HOPE SOMEONE MURDERS HIM AND THEY USE HIM AS FERTILIZER IN PUTIN'S GARDEN

HE'S A MONSTER AND IS GOING TO GIVE THAT BABY SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME 

There's SO much more, but bottom line is sometimes comments come across a bit hateful which I find distasteful.  Being snarky and obnoxious is fun, so I get that. I'm actually wondering how many (few) people on here are actually parents who have raised BOTH boys and girls past the age of 20!

I see what you're saying, but he seems to have anger issues, which he admitted to.  And I think that angry, frustrated people can shake babies.  That baby, who cries, alone with a guy who has anger issues, and is in a stressful situation like being homeless and having a baby and not wanting to be told what to do sounds like a recipe for disaster.

I think both parties, and this includes Olga, should have been more careful about protection.  

I think Steven is a grade a loser, and nothing he has said or done has really helped change my mind.  If this is all and act, and he is just playing the part of an asshole, than he should embrace it.

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22 minutes ago, Rdh1314 said:

Absolutely last thing I'll say regarding Steven, and this really is in no way a defense of him..

I'll just paraphrase some comments I can recall regarding him-

GET A JOB OR WEAR A CONDOM

I HOPE SOMEONE MURDERS HIM AND THEY USE HIM AS FERTILIZER IN PUTIN'S GARDEN

HE'S A MONSTER AND IS GOING TO GIVE THAT BABY SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME 

There's SO much more, but bottom line is sometimes comments come across a bit hateful which I find distasteful.  Being snarky and obnoxious is fun, so I get that. I've got to wonder how many (few) people on here are actually parents who have raised BOTH boys and girls past the age of 20!

So in which of those comments was Steven being blamed for Olga’s pregnancy? I see him being blamed for participating in a pregnancy while panhandling for money to afford a baby. And since he’s the one who launched a GoFundMe, it’s fair commentary.

What does raising both boys and girls into adulthood have to do with anything? In this case, the boy’s immaturity is threatening to take a baby away from a mother if she doesn’t keep sweet while a girl’s immaturity is not knowing when to give a guy a blowie to keep him from taking her baby to another continent and her “having no say. Because that’s actually something people suggested a mother do a couple of weeks after her uterus was cut open.

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21 hours ago, MrFluffy said:

Olga, please just disappear into the night with your baby. People will help you and he won't be able to figure it out.

Clearly, he's never had a job that required a SSN

I’m Indonesian and even I know what that is.

Granted I grew-up in the US and had one at point. But damn, he’s been American all his life too.

If that was made-up drama, it was stupid as hell.

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>Did you see the condition of that hospital?  Richie is better off being raised by a pack of wolves in the US rather than another day in Russia.

>Anyone notice that Olga's friend almost immediately said that she wasn't looking for this...meaning getting pregnant to immigrate to the US?  Translation - that's probably exactly what she was planning.  She just made a tragic choice in men.  Olga's a cute-ish girl, she could have found a better mark...er, future husband.

>I'm not sure of the circumstances of their summer together but, were I Steven, I'd have a DNA test immediately.

>Unless Steven gets his act together, Olga needs to play along and put in her 3 years, then become a citizen and bail.   

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3 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

Did you see the condition of that hospital?  Richie is better off being raised by a pack of wolves in the US rather than another day in Russia.

Or maybe Richie is better off being raised by his mother in the same country hospitals she was born in and somehow made it to adulthood.

If you want to talk about the condition of hospitals, google Dr. Christopher Duntsch and see how world class hospitals in Texas let an unqualified coked-up butcher maim and kill dozens and covered it up to protect their own asses. Looks aren’t always what they seem.

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17 hours ago, Rdh1314 said:

Absolutely last thing I'll say regarding Steven, and this really is in no way a defense of him..

I'll just paraphrase some comments I can recall regarding him-

GET A JOB OR WEAR A CONDOM

I HOPE SOMEONE MURDERS HIM AND THEY USE HIM AS FERTILIZER IN PUTIN'S GARDEN

HE'S A MONSTER AND IS GOING TO GIVE THAT BABY SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME 

There's SO much more, but bottom line is sometimes comments come across a bit hateful which I find distasteful.  Being snarky and obnoxious is fun, so I get that. I've got to wonder how many (few) people on here are actually parents who have raised BOTH boys and girls past the age of 20!

 

I said none of those comments, but forgive me for being hateful towards someone who signed up for reality TV and then showed the world how to make a hormonal, exhauted woman who had been sliced up to give birth to THEIR baby feel guilty for putting THEIR baby first, told her the baby can wait to eat, threatened to leave the country with a nursing baby, storms out of the house in a tantrum b/c he picked up medicine for THEIR baby and didn't apparently get thanked enough.  

What is it about Steven that you think he deserves to be given some sort of break and as such seem very defensive of him while you seem hostile towards Olga -- the girl who managed to have her own apartment, go to college, after a far more horrible life with parents that tortured and murdered her sister than Steven, who has loving grandparents by the way, ever had?  Being young isn't enough of an excuse to me to recognize that a crying baby needs to be fed, needs his mom to make him a priority.  As I've commented before on this thread, the only thing I can fault her for is having terrible choice in men and having sex without protection.

Edited by sasha206
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Haven't read through all the pages of this thread, so apologies if this has been addressed:

--Why did Olga allow Steven to take Richie into the U.S. Embassy for citizenship without fully checking the paperwork to ensure that her own visa was en route?

--Why did Olga even allow this in the first place?  Why didn't she insist on waiting for her K-1 visa to be approved, and then applying for Richie's citizenship?  Obviously it's much easier for Richie to obtain citizenship than for Olga's K-1 visa to be approved, so why didn't they do it that way?

Steven could have stayed in Russia with Olga and the baby while they waited.  So what if it's a year or more.  Olga can work in Russia while Steven stays home with "baby".  Or if Russia wouldn't allow Steven to stay that long, they could do long distance until her K-1 came in, at which time they could easily get Richie's citizenship.

Methinks Steven is selling her a bag of lies.  In Friday's preview episode, she admitted that she's never seen any K-1 paperwork.

Edited by Sterling
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8 minutes ago, Sterling said:

Haven't read through all the pages of this thread, so apologies if this has been addressed:

--Why did Olga allow Steven to take Richie into the U.S. Embassy for citizenship without fully checking the paperwork to ensure that her own visa was en route?

--Why did Olga even allow this in the first place?  Why didn't she insist on waiting for her K-1 visa to be approved, and then applying for Richie's citizenship?  Obviously it's much easier for Richie to obtain citizenship than for Olga's K-1 visa to be approved, so why didn't they do it that way?

Steven could have stayed in Russia with Olga and the baby while they waited.  So what if it's a year or more.  Olga can work in Russia while Steven stays home with "baby".

Well, we've seen what happens when he gets the slightest hint of someone "telling him what to do."  Her request for him to wash his hands went down with him saying no one is going to be an asshole to him or something to that effect.   Maybe she wasn't up for emotional abuse that day?  

Edited by sasha206
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53 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

Well, we've seen what happens when he gets the slightest hint of someone "telling him what to do."  Her request for him to wash his hands went down with him saying no one is going to be an asshole to him or something to that effect.   Maybe she wasn't up for emotional abuse that day?  

It was worse than "no one is going to be an asshole to me."  It was more like "no one is going to make me look like an asshole."  Again, classic abuser verbiage.

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54 minutes ago, Sterling said:

Haven't read through all the pages of this thread, so apologies if this has been addressed:

--Why did Olga allow Steven to take Richie into the U.S. Embassy for citizenship without fully checking the paperwork to ensure that her own visa was en route?

--Why did Olga even allow this in the first place?  Why didn't she insist on waiting for her K-1 visa to be approved, and then applying for Richie's citizenship?  Obviously it's much easier for Richie to obtain citizenship than for Olga's K-1 visa to be approved, so why didn't they do it that way?

Steven could have stayed in Russia with Olga and the baby while they waited.  So what if it's a year or more.  Olga can work in Russia while Steven stays home with "baby".  Or if Russia wouldn't allow Steven to stay that long, they could do long distance until her K-1 came in, at which time they could easily get Richie's citizenship.

Methinks Steven is selling her a bag of lies.  In Friday's preview episode, she admitted that she's never seen any K-1 paperwork.

1 - Because it seems to me, she either does not realize that she has all the power and is scared Steven will take Richie to America without her, or because she is a clueless 20 year old and knows nothing about the paper requirements, etc., or because Steven kept the paperwork from her and played the "I'm the American, I know what it takes to do this" bullshit like he did with carseats "car seats in America aren't this difficult" or whatever nonsense he spewed that time.

2 - Because she seems very frightened to speak up or insist on anything. Every time she tries to talk to him when he gets angry she tries to reason with him and walks on eggshells. The more she does that, the more Steven knows he has the upper hand and she'll be meek and cave. She just doesn't realize that she has the power to say, "Richie goes to America when I do or he doesn't go at all."  

I wondered what the deal would be if Steven went to some authority and explained that they just had a baby, were planning to marry but Olga's paperwork is still being churned through the system and how would he get some kind of extension on his stay there. I have no clue how that works or if some visas have longer terms than others, etc. 

The person posting in an angry tone about Steven's treatment here said: 

Spoiler

that they are both here in America now. Not sure how they know that though.

I think that during Olga's summer in America, it was all fun and vacation time and the two of them didn't have a care in the world. I'm sure she didn't lay down rules or whatever so he was a nice, fun, dude to chill with all summer. Then she saw the real Steven when he arrived in Russia. You could tell she was completely bewildered by his attitude and tone. And probably scared.

8 minutes ago, Mothra said:

It was worse than "no one is going to be an asshole to me."  It was more like "no one is going to make me look like an asshole."  Again, classic abuser verbiage.

He actually said directly to Olga, "You're not gonna be an asshole to me." 

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8 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

1 - Because it seems to me, she either does not realize that she has all the power and is scared Steven will take Richie to America without her, or because she is a clueless 20 year old and knows nothing about the paper requirements, etc., or because Steven kept the paperwork from her and played the "I'm the American, I know what it takes to do this" bullshit like he did with carseats "car seats in America aren't this difficult" or whatever nonsense he spewed that time.

2 - Because she seems very frightened to speak up or insist on anything. Every time she tries to talk to him when he gets angry she tries to reason with him and walks on eggshells. The more she does that, the more Steven knows he has the upper hand and she'll be meek and cave. She just doesn't realize that she has the power to say, "Richie goes to America when I do or he doesn't go at all."  

 

I think that during Olga's summer in America, it was all fun and vacation time and the two of them didn't have a care in the world. I'm sure she didn't lay down rules or whatever so he was a nice, fun, dude to chill with all summer. Then she saw the real Steven when he arrived in Russia. You could tell she was completely bewildered by his attitude and tone. And probably scared.

He actually said directly to Olga, "You're not gonna be an asshole to me." 

BINGO to all.  

Here's a woman recovering from major surgery who has two infants to essentially deal with, both as needy.  She already tried to assert herself with a simple request to wash his hands before handling the baby and was chastised for doing it.  

I'm sure she's so exhausted from childbirth, surgery, being a new mom, that trying to keep the peace right now is more important to her than fighting him on his ridiculous assertions.  

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34 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

1 - Because it seems to me, she either does not realize that she has all the power and is scared Steven will take Richie to America without her, or because she is a clueless 20 year old and knows nothing about the paper requirements, etc., or because Steven kept the paperwork from her and played the "I'm the American, I know what it takes to do this" bullshit like he did with carseats "car seats in America aren't this difficult" or whatever nonsense he spewed that time.

2 - Because she seems very frightened to speak up or insist on anything. Every time she tries to talk to him when he gets angry she tries to reason with him and walks on eggshells. The more she does that, the more Steven knows he has the upper hand and she'll be meek and cave. She just doesn't realize that she has the power to say, "Richie goes to America when I do or he doesn't go at all."  

I wondered what the deal would be if Steven went to some authority and explained that they just had a baby, were planning to marry but Olga's paperwork is still being churned through the system and how would he get some kind of extension on his stay there. I have no clue how that works or if some visas have longer terms than others, etc. 

 

You're right on all points.

She has no one in Russia, no parents, no relatives (it appears), no "adults" on her team to advise her.   

Makes me want to go hug her and help her figure out her rights, and the process, so that whatever happens, baby can stay with her.  She seems to be such a loving young mom.

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1 hour ago, sasha206 said:

BINGO to all.  

Here's a woman recovering from major surgery who has two infants to essentially deal with, both as needy.  She already tried to assert herself with a simple request to wash his hands before handling the baby and was chastised for doing it.  

I'm sure she's so exhausted from childbirth, surgery, being a new mom, that trying to keep the peace right now is more important to her than fighting him on his ridiculous assertions.  

Just a funny observation, but did you notice that the few times he did wash his hands, he then proceeded to "dry" them on the front of his sweater? I'm pretty sure they had some clean (= hygienic) towels somewhere close by.

The guy freaks me out in general, but I will say one thing for him. He is at least taking responsibility for his kid and trying to do the right thing. He just needs to TONE IT DOWN A LOT. He needs to redirect some of that scary energy of his and maybe take some parenting classes and go to relationship counseling with Olga.

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47 minutes ago, Teri313 said:

Just a funny observation, but did you notice that the few times he did wash his hands, he then proceeded to "dry" them on the front of his sweater? I'm pretty sure they had some clean (= hygienic) towels somewhere close by.

The guy freaks me out in general, but I will say one thing for him. He is at least taking responsibility for his kid and trying to do the right thing. He just needs to TONE IT DOWN A LOT. He needs to redirect some of that scary energy of his and maybe take some parenting classes and go to relationship counseling with Olga.

I thought it was weird he kept drying his hands on his sweater, but frankly the Oly other thing that appeared available was that towel hanging next to the sink and who knows how many people had wiped their hands on that.

I remember getting annoyed at my sister once for asking me to wash my hands before interacting with my nephew.  I remember thinking she was being a nag and that I had recently washed my hands so what was the big deal.  I was far less mature than I am now and so I left and took a long drive, felt ashamed of myself and apologized the next day.

So, I guess I can't fully judge on the hand washing thing. Maybe he felt like she was nagging and he had recently washed his hands.

But the response if "you're not going to be an asshole to me" seemed way over the top.

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Regarding the hand-washing thing:

Don't they have hand sanitizer in Russia? If not at the hospital (which would be odd; in U.S. hospitals it's everywhere), maybe in the pharmacy where Steven goes to pick up Richie's prescriptions?

Seems like that would be a better alternative to constant hand-washing followed by a quick swipe on a (dirty) sweater...

Edited to add:

Yep, hand sanitizer is available in Russia, too!

Edited by TwirlyGirly · Reason: Additional Information
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5 hours ago, Sterling said:

Haven't read through all the pages of this thread, so apologies if this has been addressed:

--Why did Olga allow Steven to take Richie into the U.S. Embassy for citizenship without fully checking the paperwork to ensure that her own visa was en route?

--Why did Olga even allow this in the first place?  Why didn't she insist on waiting for her K-1 visa to be approved, and then applying for Richie's citizenship?  Obviously it's much easier for Richie to obtain citizenship than for Olga's K-1 visa to be approved, so why didn't they do it that way?

Steven could have stayed in Russia with Olga and the baby while they waited.  So what if it's a year or more.  Olga can work in Russia while Steven stays home with "baby".  Or if Russia wouldn't allow Steven to stay that long, they could do long distance until her K-1 came in, at which time they could easily get Richie's citizenship.

Methinks Steven is selling her a bag of lies.  In Friday's preview episode, she admitted that she's never seen any K-1 paperwork.

I saw on another site that Olga made a good move by allowing Steven to get Richie's passport.  He still can't take the baby without her permission, but if he were to go back to America and decide "You know what, I'm young, I don't want to be tied down, blah blah blah" at least Richie would have his birthright to US citizenship.  If they waited he could flake out on both her and the baby.  

And, this isn't in reply to your post, but to earlier converstion:  In terms of her K-1, I don't know if he did or didn't apply, but I don't think there's anything weird about him saying the baby's paperwork was the priority right now.  Because if he did submit everything for her when he was supposed to, there is absolutely nothing he can do to speed that process up.  And it is a long, long, long process, whether she's from Russia or Canada.  Could he have not been a dick about how he said it?  Of course.  But I don't think there's anything suspicious about focusing on the process that can be moved along while waiting for the one that (assuming paperwork was filed) is completely out of his hands.  

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7 hours ago, Sterling said:

Methinks Steven is selling her a bag of lies.  In Friday's preview episode, she admitted that she's never seen any K-1 paperwork.

I totally agree with this!  I don’t believe Steven has done any work to get Olga’s visa. Had he done so he would have been aware that without a job and some financial certainty he cannot bring her. We know that from other couples.

He is just emotionally torturing Olga because he thinks he can.  

When he came back and said Ritchie could continue to remain in Russia, my red flag went up. Of course he can remain!  Ritchie is Russian citizen!

I just wonder:if it were as easy as going to Russia, declare you are a baby’s father, show up at the US Embassy then walk away with a newborn.... Wouldn’t someone have come up with a tourist business plan?  When I think of all those couples who traveled to Russia to adopt babies from orphanages, cash at hand, this would be so much easier!

i have several personal acquaintances who adopted children from Russia, the process was grueling. One in particular had to take 10k in cash!  

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14 minutes ago, hisbunkie said:

I totally agree with this!  I don’t believe Steven has done any work to get Olga’s visa. Had he done so he would have been aware that without a job and some financial certainty he cannot bring her. We know that from other couples.

He is just emotionally torturing Olga because he thinks he can.  

When he came back and said Ritchie could continue to remain in Russia, my red flag went up. Of course he can remain!  Ritchie is Russian citizen!

I just wonder:if it were as easy as going to Russia, declare you are a baby’s father, show up at the US Embassy then walk away with a newborn.... Wouldn’t someone have come up with a tourist business plan?  When I think of all those couples who traveled to Russia to adopt babies from orphanages, cash at hand, this would be so much easier!

i have several personal acquaintances who adopted children from Russia, the process was grueling. One in particular had to take 10k in cash!  

I would not be surprised if the visa was turned down because he cant support her. It would explain why he wants to get the baby away NOW

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1 hour ago, hisbunkie said:

I totally agree with this!  I don’t believe Steven has done any work to get Olga’s visa. Had he done so he would have been aware that without a job and some financial certainty he cannot bring her. We know that from other couples.

He is just emotionally torturing Olga because he thinks he can.  

When he came back and said Ritchie could continue to remain in Russia, my red flag went up. Of course he can remain!  Ritchie is Russian citizen!

I just wonder:if it were as easy as going to Russia, declare you are a baby’s father, show up at the US Embassy then walk away with a newborn.... Wouldn’t someone have come up with a tourist business plan?  When I think of all those couples who traveled to Russia to adopt babies from orphanages, cash at hand, this would be so much easier!

i have several personal acquaintances who adopted children from Russia, the process was grueling. One in particular had to take 10k in cash!  

My brother and his wife adopted a Russian baby 21 years ago.  $10K?  Try $30K.  Cash.  My brother had to literally fly over there with $30,000 in cash in his shoe.  

At the airport, they were met by the orphanage rep, who first demanded the $30,000 before they took one step.  They then were taken in a car and driven for hours.  My brother recalls looking at his wife, saying they could be out the money, and be driven to lord-knows-where.  It was scary.

They had to go to Russian court to get the baby.  The baby's mother was there, and at the last minute, she decided to keep the baby, and my brother would still be out the $30,000.  My brother happens to be a lawyer, so he asked to review the (Russian) documents, via a translator that he had hired.  He found some legal holes in the documents, which he got up and argued to the judge, and was able to walk away with the baby.  What an ordeal.  

I asked him how he knew his arguments would work, in a Russian court.  He said he didn't.  He just saw inconsistencies and argued them out, and the judge just banged his gavel and said, "Done".  (take the baby).

Russia has since closed off these adoptions, or made them extremely difficult.

Being perfectly honest, in retrospect, it would have been better for my brother to have simply demanded his money back, and let the mother keep her own baby, since she wanted it so bad.  I'd never admit that to my family though.  I just see Olga as that mom.

Edited by Sterling
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This Steven-Olga K-1 visa story angle is weird. If he told her he applied for the visa shortly after they found she was pregnant, then I’d expect that was 6-7 months or so before the birth. The K-1 visa takes about ten months to process, which would put her on track to get the visa and move to the USA 2-4 months after the birth.

 

So if he secretly waited to apply until after he got to Russia, right before the birth, that would be a really, really big lie, setting them back some seven months. That type of lie typically wouldn’t be forgiven so quickly. 

 

Also, K-1 visas have to be applied for in the USA. Now maybe he could have Fedexed it from Russia to the office or lockbox in the USA, but I don’t know about that.

 

Your K-1 application must include a lot of info from the fiancee (Olga) and a letter from the fiancee saying “I want to move to the USA and get married to this jackass.” And I think that letter has to be dated within the last thirty days before you file the application. 

So as much as I hate to be a 90DF conspiracy theorist, I just don’t find this story angle about this supposed lie to be credible. I don’t believe that Olga has been in the dark and thought the application was filed seven months ago, and then her friend suggested that he hadn’t filed it, and then he confessed,  and then she immediately forgave him and joyfully accepted his proposal.

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1 hour ago, Sterling said:

Being perfectly honest, in retrospect, it would have been better for my brother to have simply demanded his money back, and let the mother keep her own baby, since she wanted it so bad.  I'd never admit that to my family though.  I just see Olga as that mom.

My friends chose Russian adoptions instead of going through US social services( fostering and adoption )because somehow they believed they would end up with healthier/Caucasian babies that looked like them (this is my shaded presumption). As it turned out, all the children ended up with issues...learning disabilities, behavioral issues, and poor health. Looking back I would say they would have done much better going locally but who knows. 

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45 minutes ago, gavinmac said:

This Steven-Olga K-1 visa story angle is weird. If he told her he applied for the visa shortly after they found she was pregnant, then I’d expect that was 6-7 months or so before the birth. The K-1 visa takes about ten months to process, which would put her on track to get the visa and move to the USA 2-4 months after the birth.

So if he secretly waited to apply until after he got to Russia, right before the birth, that would be a really, really big lie, setting them back some seven months. That type of lie typically wouldn’t be forgiven so quickly. 

Also, K-1 visas have to be applied for in the USA. Now maybe he could have Fedexed it from Russia to the office or lockbox in the USA, but I don’t know about that.

Your K-1 application must include a lot of info from the fiancee (Olga) and a letter from the fiancee saying “I want to move to the USA and get married to this jackass.” And I think that letter has to be dated within the last thirty days before you file the application. 

So as much as I hate to be a 90DF conspiracy theorist, I just don’t find this story angle about this supposed lie to be credible. I don’t believe that Olga has been in the dark and thought the application was filed seven months ago, and then her friend suggested that he hadn’t filed it, and then he confessed,  and then she immediately forgave him and joyfully accepted his proposal.

Actually part of the application evidence required --proof that he and Olga intend to marry within 90 days of her arrival in the US-- he would not have been able to provide since they weren't even engaged until this episode.

I think his plan was more sinister and he went to Russia with the sole purpose of bringing only Ritchie back with him.

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1 minute ago, LilaFowler said:

Actually part of the application evidence required --proof that he and Olga intend to marry within 90 days of her arrival in the US-- he would not have been able to provide since they weren't even engaged until this episode.

I think his plan was more sinister and he went to Russia with the sole purpose of bringing only Ritchie back with him.

Actually, I thought no formal ring giving is required for that, at least at the application stage. You just have to sign the letters saying you intend to get married. Now maybe at the interview they demand to see the ring.

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14 minutes ago, hisbunkie said:

My friends chose Russian adoptions instead of going through US social services( fostering and adoption )because somehow they believed they would end up with healthier/Caucasian babies that looked like them (this is my shaded presumption). As it turned out, all the children ended up with issues...learning disabilities, behavioral issues, and poor health. Looking back I would say they would have done much better going locally but who knows. 

Several people I know who went the Russian adoption route ended up with similar issues, largely due to poor prenatal care, alcoholism, etc., by the birth mother.  My Russian-adopted niece has had extremely bad dental problems, starting with her baby teeth, as they all came in already decayed.  And other things, much worse.

Edited by Sterling
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4 minutes ago, gavinmac said:

Actually, I thought no formal ring giving is required for that, at least at the application stage. You just have to sign the letters saying you intend to get married. Now maybe at the interview they demand to see the ring.

I'm not talking about a ring specifically, just an agreement to get married. They didn't have it (according to Steven) which is why he didn't file months ago when he said that he did. Olga hadn't seen any documents or submitted anything herself.

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