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S02.E05: Seeds of Doubt

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2 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Dramacey & AngryDutchman - They can't even discuss a grocery list without a hissing cat fight, so I was shocked they actually made it to the store and were able to pick Rice-A-Roni and colossal steaks from the "butt-cher," as Jesse puts it. There was even a touching, beautiful moment, worthy of an appreciation ring, where they came together sharing the joy of finding a $5 commercial carrot cake. In a comical variation of "look, a goat!" Jesse shouted out "look, diapers!" which immediately laser-guided Dramacey's focus on motherhood, and how this must have been a hint that he longed for fatherhood with her, right here and right now. I'm 43! You keep hinting you want babies! You gotta hurry! I'm pushing the limits! And here we go again.

One of the daughters, if not both, has a crush on Jesse and was giving him the googly eyes. All three are millenials, after all!

The steak fight was epic. I love this show.

Only Darcey can slice steak the perfect way. Her daughters like it that singular way, and no other way. No one should dare serve them pre-sliced steak that's not cut on the bias to retain the goddamn juices. Darcey. Must. Slice. The steaks. So sit down Jesse.  But then Jesse has a hissy fit because he was supposed to do the steaks, and she was supposed to do the Rice-A-Roni and this division of labor is as immutable as it is important. He walks out, because this kind of mutiny is not to be tolerated, and later gets fetched with a "Dinner's ready" which in his wisdom #caffemeester #psychologist #twinflames is cause to escalate this into the equivalent of a Jon bar fight. If only they'd thought of giving the girls their own knives and forks.

I must now comment on Darcey's meat carving technique. None of her high-falutin' theories are worth a nickel if she's slicing, or rather, ripping and shredding the meat with a knife so dull it can't cut through room temperature butter.

Can you imagine Darcy’s reaction when her 11/12 yr old daughters are 17/18 and    strutting around in front of 30 yr old stepdad Jesse while 50 yr old Darcy sits and stews. 

I did notice that she covered her leather   shorty shorts with her jacket in the store. I wonder if Jesse told her to.

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Jesse needs to learn a lot more about #twinflames. I have a soul connection. They are about healing and I have done a lot of work on myself - released and continue to release pain, deal with my triggers, my issues. Maybe he and Darcey just romanticize it. It's hard work. Jesse and Darcey still are very much in egoland.

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Darcey may as well have cut that steak with a chainsaw! Steak and Rice-a-Roni. Never thought to try that combo. 

Funny thing about kids. They can usually just sit back, watch the shitshow and know exactly what is going on. Mom, can we just eat the steak now? Something tells me this is not the first time they have seen dear old mom like this. They seem like really great girls, too. How did that happen? 

Hazel is very, very strange. I can't stop looking at that straggly clump of greasy hair in her face. Just tuck it in to your ponytail, girl. 

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Look at the ring finger on Darcey’s left hand.  It appears she is wearing a silver band with a diamond-ish emerald cut ring on top, which reeks of a high school level of desperation unbecoming a woman of her age. She probably pretends that Jesse has married her.  Grow up!

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Just now, Annymin said:

Look at the ring finger on Darcey’s left hand.  It appears she is wearing a silver band with a diamond-ish emerald cut ring on top, which reeks of a high school level of desperation unbecoming a woman of her age

That's probably the promise ring Jesse gave her last season. Remember how disappointed she was when she thought he was going to propose to her? 

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Tarik in no way loves Hazel and vice versa. Hazel is a fetish to him. He’s probably graduated from a porn fetish, to a real life one. Because, “Asian girls are hot,” according to this doofus. So, if she doesn’t work out, he’ll just travel to the next Asian country and easily replace her with another, just like he did with the one before her. She’s trying to make sure her meal ticket is secured.

Dean is an ass, but I was hoping that he would mention his niece, Ari and how she’s being dragged into this foolishness. 

Angela took one look at Michael’s hot friend, David, and instantly declared that he was older than her. The look he gave the camera was epic. Michael sounded offended for him when he said, “He is also my friend.” 

I just realized Tarik’s outfit consisted of socks and black & white flip flops. This fool was actually trying to match this ugly assed outfit! He actually brought this combination in his luggage. You know you’re horrible when Ricky is not the worst dressed on this show. 

Tarik, go back to the 757. Shave your head and raise your daughter. Let’s start there.

Edited by charmed1
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Just now, bichonblitz said:

That's probably the promise ring Jesse gave her last season. Remember how disappointed she was when she thought he was going to propose to her? 

Could be! Or could it have been the engagement ring she bought for herself? 

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8 minutes ago, charmed1 said:

Tarik in no way loves Hazel and vice versa. Hazel is a fetish to him. He’s probably graduated from a porn fetish, to a real life one. Because, “Asian girls are hot,” according to this doofus. So, if she doesn’t work out, he’ll just travel to the next Asian country and easily replace her with another, just like he did with the one before her. She’s trying to make sure her meal ticket is secured.

Dean is an ass, but I was hoping that he would mention his niece, Ari and how she’s being dragged into this foolishness. 

Angela took one look at Michael’s hot friend, David, and instantly declared that he was older than her. The look he gave the camera was epic. Michael sounded offended for him when he said, “He is also my friend.” 

Yeah, wasn't his "ex" from Thailand?

I'm rooting for Hazel. She seems genuine, honest, and hardworking, weird religious stuff notwithstanding.

That bit from Angela! In what world is that friend older than her?! Black don't crack indeed! He looked half her age if anything.

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19 minutes ago, Annymin said:

Look at the ring finger on Darcey’s left hand.  It appears she is wearing a silver band with a diamond-ish emerald cut ring on top, which reeks of a high school level of desperation unbecoming a woman of her age.

and what happened to the "appreciation ring" Jesse gave her in Amsterdam? 

Jesse has the longest torso on any man I have ever seen! 

In Darcey's defense, she was cooking in someone else's kitchen and probably had no idea what pots/pans/utensils, etc. she had at her disposal. 

17 minutes ago, TheRedQueen said:

Rickey’s fanny pack and cheesy “romantic” giant vanilla dollar store candles and bag of rose petals straight from a Harlequin romance novel. Btw I’ve never seen a bag of rose petals for sale. EVER. 

Maybe he saved a couple of Melissa's "I Love You" red roses? 

Hazel looks like she’d rather be doing anything other than giving Tarik “some lips.”

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Edited by magemaud
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1 hour ago, Frozendiva said:

Ricky, you can get out of the Melissa thing with Ximena and tell the truth. You came to meet someone else, but that didn't work out, you didn't connect, yadda, yadda,  and thought you would call her since you were in the area, not expecting anything either.  

I’m sure in XXXimena’s line of work, she’s been called various names by mistake and probably couldn’t care less, as long the money is on the nightstand. 

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 They do sell bags of rose petals.  The first time I saw them was when I was a flower girl for a family wedding.  They opened up the bag and put them in a little basket so I could drop Rose petals on the ground in front of the bride.

Edited by PityFree
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14 minutes ago, Gigglepuff said:

Could be! Or could it have been the engagement ring she bought for herself? 

Could be either one.  It’s the addition of the fake wedding band that raises the desperation level.  

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4 minutes ago, PityFree said:

 They do sell bags of rose petals.  The first time I saw them was when I was a flower girl for a family wedding.  They opened up the bag and put them in a little basket so I could drop Rose petals on the ground in front of the bride.

Awww burst my bubble! I was really hoping that he was reusing Love of His Life’s roses like Magemaud said! 

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1 hour ago, JasonH said:

He said “I know steak”. You dont cook steak in a stone cold pan. She needed to cut it on a “bias”? What the fuck does that mean? An angle? Both these assholes are too much. I feel sorry for those girls.

Yes!  What the hell is a bias??

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7 minutes ago, PityFree said:

 They do sell bags of rose petals.  The first time I saw them was when I was a flower girl for a family wedding.  They opened up the bag and put them in a little basket so I could drop Rose petals on the ground in front of the bride.

They even sell them on Amazon, they come chilled.

I don't want to see Angela and Michael on the canopy walk. I want to see more of those trees, birds, turtles, that peacock scratching itself...Angela has no idea what she's missing out on!

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Just now, Splithair said:

Yes!  What the hell is a bias??

It's a fabric term basically meaning at an angle, across the weave.  She works in fashion so it makes sense that's a term she'd use.

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@Toaster Strudel, your reviews have become the highlight of my week(after the show of course). I'm laughing so hard my eyes filled with tears and my vision got blurry. 

I usually have snark vomit after watching this show, but I was actually speechless and dumbfounded by all of them tonight. 

Someone needs to give Darcey and Jesse each a rubber chicken and let them smack each other silly. 

Angela.....all I can think of is that Danielle seems like a sane and classy person in comparison. I can only imagine what the film crew was thinking the whole time. Production, if course, was thinking "ka-ching $$$$".Angela is Jerry Springer meets 90DF.

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I think I wore that same shirt that Tarik was wearing when I was in 5th grade, over a white t-shirt, circa 1994.

36 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I’m sure in XXXimena’s line of work, she’s been called various names by mistake and probably couldn’t care less, as long the money is on the nightstand. 

Really?  I didn't get that vibe from her at all.  Melissa, yes, but not Ximena.

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Couple of things about this episode.  When Angela was arguing about her shirt with Michael in the hotel she mentioned that he had told her that she needed to be more covered up in Nigeria.  She insisted he only told her she needed to cover her legs and wasn't really letting him get a word in edgewise.  He was clearly trying to remind her of something he said.  I think he told her that she needed to be more modest in general and DID mention the cleavage.  She simply chose to not hear it.  Otherwise, why was she at least making an attempt to cover up a little more when she went to meet mom?  And the pinkish top with the lace that she wears in her THs is certainly more covered than many of her other tops.  She was just pissed Michael did not want her to meet his friends wearing her "hot" outfit.

Did anyone else notice when Karine was trying on the wedding dresses she was almost cradling her stomach?  It seemed like a weird gesture and really caught my eye.  It was like she was making sure the bump wasn't obvious.

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35 minutes ago, DaphneCat said:

Did anyone else notice when Karine was trying on the wedding dresses she was almost cradling her stomach?  It seemed like a weird gesture and really caught my eye.  It was like she was making sure the bump wasn't obvious.

 Yep, I noticed it too.

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Perhaps Dean should go back to the States and yell those same questions to the mother of his brothers child. Him, his brother and their Fat Albert starter pack bodies are gross.

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4 hours ago, PityFree said:

Oh my God every couple on the show is insane. That was a very painful episode. 

You probably don’t have your Handbasket to Hell completely fitted out yet.

It was awesome.

As in noted above Darcey mutilating the steak with the B&B dull knife...in Jesse’s defense (ugh) the steak looked an OK medium rare (I’m a rare girl) - so he likely could have handled the situation. 

Edited by Jennifersdc · Reason: Edited to add - options for cooking steak with B&B options were probably limited. I use my cast iron pan at high heat and finish in oven.
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3 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

One of the daughters, if not both, has a crush on Jesse and was giving him the googly eyes. All three are millenials, after all!

The oldest one is definitely giving him the googly eyes.  But, it's a bugaboo of mine, her daughters are Gen Z, not millenials.  Jesse is probably too young to be a millennial too, depending on whose dates you use. The point stands, though, that they're the same generation and momma Darcey is not.  I find it hilarious that the one thing that Jesse & Darcey have in common is that they like to storm out of rooms when food is ready.  It's absolutely the weirdest eccentricity to share.

And speaking of food, Michael & Gary Busey in drag Angela driving to the wildlife preserve eating pizza was also a bit of a WTF moment.  I mean, of course, there's no reason that pizza wouldn't be something you can get in Lagos, but it isn't the first thing I'd think of when there to get for (what appeared to be) a breakfast on the go.

Rickey and those booster boots...he's turning into Costanza.  Next week he'll color them black with a sharpie!

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Can't wait to see Ximena's reaction when she finds out she was Ricky's backup plan.  "He came all the way to Colombia to see me!"  Uh....sure.

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5 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

WOW! I received an invitation to Tariq & Hazel's wedding!
    

 

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I think Hazel misunderstood when her friend told her she ought to be "tartin' herself up" for Tariq.

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4 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Karine and Pole:  I really don't like how he's now being painted as an abusive douche.  Idiot, yes, impatient with Karine and her lazy ass, yes, abusive?  I'm not willing to say yes.

Karine may have found out about Pole’s abusive past. She seems pretty Internet savvy, if she’s picking up all these men. All she’d have to do is Google Pole’s name and look at those mug shots.

There’s this one for violating a protection order:

 

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And these beauties...

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21B657C8-4665-4007-A93E-5757578202CB.jpeg

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I seriously thought for a second Darcey was talking about other kids when she said they were 11 and 12.  I thought they were at least 16!! I didn't think she could make me sicker knowing she's pulling this ridiculous shit with such young kids at home.

Edited by noveltylibrary
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I don’t get the hate for Dean when Hazel admitted she only wants Tarik to come to the US.  Hazel is a vampire.  She marries Tarik, first she brings her son over, then her parents, then maybe other relatives and Tarik will be the fool sponsoring all of them.  All this does is take away from his daughter.  I do not see Hazel as this poor innocent woman.  Just because she’s a woman doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve an interrogation, especially when we all know she’s disgusted by Tarik.

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4 hours ago, Jennifersdc said:

As in noted above Darcey mutilating the steak with the B&B dull knife...in Jesse’s defense (ugh) the steak looked an OK medium rare (I’m a rare girl) - so he likely could have handled the situation. 

Yeah, cooking steak in a glorified hotel room was the real root of this problem.  

Whatever you do at home to cook steak, people, you probably wouldn’t have hung out there all day (seriously, cooking and eating dinner was their whole plan for the day - CT only has one goat and when you’ve seen that you’re good?) without noticing that the stove was electric, there’s no functioning bbq, and that they have eight butter knives for your convenience.  After all that, and BestMamaEvir Darcey mentioning that her girls like chicken strips, of course in the end they realized “steak for dinner” was the best plan.  Because steak is the luxest of all meals, and Darcy is all about appearance-of-lux.  

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What in the hell does Michael see in Angela?  He  couldn't just find a nice local girl who would respect him?

8 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I don’t get the hate for Dean when Hazel admitted she only wants Tarik to come to the US.  Hazel is a vampire.  She marries Tarik, first she brings her son over, then her parents, then maybe other relatives and Tarik will be the fool sponsoring all of them.  All this does is take away from his daughter.  I do not see Hazel as this poor innocent woman.  Just because she’s a woman doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve an interrogation, especially when we all know she’s disgusted by Tarik.

Because he was an ahole about it, and his true colors showed they way he stormed out.  He's scary.

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1 hour ago, Major Bigtime said:

Karine may have found out about Pole’s abusive past. She seems pretty Internet savvy, if she’s picking up all these men. All she’d have to do is Google Pole’s name and look at those mug shots.

There’s this one for violating a protection order:

 

51C7DA05-04C8-4DA9-83E4-28400EB434E4.jpeg

And these beauties...

42DFC2BA-5653-4A95-AB46-7D843526BCD4.jpeg

21B657C8-4665-4007-A93E-5757578202CB.jpeg

Yeah, his arson stuff.  And he said the protection order violation was one text message.  Protection orders don't have to mean you're actually a bad person, they're easy to get.  And I never said he was a prince, with the arson and whatnot, but that's not being abusive.

8 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I don’t get the hate for Dean when Hazel admitted she only wants Tarik to come to the US.  Hazel is a vampire.  She marries Tarik, first she brings her son over, then her parents, then maybe other relatives and Tarik will be the fool sponsoring all of them.  All this does is take away from his daughter.  I do not see Hazel as this poor innocent woman.  Just because she’s a woman doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve an interrogation, especially when we all know she’s disgusted by Tarik.

She definitely deserves an interrogation.  My issue is that he chose to go after her for the totally wrong thing.  It's not about her parenting skills, it's about her desperation to get out of the Philippines, whatever the cost.

1 minute ago, noveltylibrary said:

What in the hell does Michael see in Angela?  He  couldn't just find a nice local girl who would respect him?

A local girl isn't a ticket to the US.

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6 minutes ago, noveltylibrary said:

What in the hell does Michael see in Angela?  He  couldn't just find a nice local girl who would respect him?

He wants to go to the US, has nothing to do with romance.

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Okay I finally watched the confrontation scene with Hazel. (My husband was watching zombies on AMC while I was reading about it here.) 

I think Tarik's brother doesn't understand the cultural differences. In Hazel's culture, you just don't ask a virtual stranger "straight-up questions." You just don't pry into somebody's life that way. Hazel didn't answer the questions about her son because she was sketchy. She was simply unaccustomed to the approach.

As for the clothes at her ex boyfriend's house. He probably isn't an ex. Maybe she still lives there.

But the stuff about her son was just cruel. 

Tarik's brother also doesn't understand the abject poverty of Hazel's situation.

Maybe Hazel did just give up her son because she was young and he was an inconvenience.  Or, maybe the father was a domineering bastard. We just don't know.

And Tarik's brother was rude.

I get why he's concerned. Tarik is in a screwed up situation, and he's thinking with his dick. But that's on Tarik.

6 minutes ago, noveltylibrary said:

How sad to see Kreenee's mom crying at her dress.  And not tears of joy.

In Paul's apology scene I wanted to scream at her, "He's already aware that he mistreats you. He's not sorry about it. He won't change."

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But Hazel is a user and if Tarik isn’t careful she’ll drain him and there will be nothing left for his daughter.  Come on, Hazel is not some innocent little flower.  She’s woman enough to get on the Internet to look for an American man.  Goodness, Dean was just being honest.  I’ll say it again, Hazel is a vampire and she’s fooling many with her act.

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9 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

Dean just needs to accept the unholy alliance between Hazel and Tarik. She wants to get out of the country any way she can. He wants a smokin' hot chick who is half his age and way out of his league. Neither one of them is thinking about Tarik's autistic child. I'm wondering if they've given much thought to Hazel's son? Will he leave his father? Will his father even let him go? Will he stay in poverty in the Philippines? What will happen?

Then he better keep looking, because hazel is ugly as hell.

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12 minutes ago, Major Bigtime said:

He wants to go to the US, has nothing to do with romance.

Well ok, but he couldn't find someone more tolerable?  She doesn't even have a nice personality to offset the age/looks.

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9 hours ago, Kangatush said:

A note on steak.  "juice" is retained by letting it rest.  Cutting across the grain, whether or not at an angle, makes it more tender to eat.  

I think every one knows that, except those 2 idiots.

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That steak scene put me over the edge with Darcey, she is so annoying.  She was so determined not to show a fight in front of the kids that she had to start one.  If I had to pick a side on this ship of fools I'm TeamJesse.

ps that steak looked like shit!  way to waste a ton of money at the butcher.

pps i'm pretty sure her kids couldn't give a crap if the steak was cut on a bias.

Edited by noveltylibrary
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