S02.E04: Family Ties

[Drogo 35.5k]

Michael introduces Angela to his Nigerian mom; tension follows Darcey and Jesse to Connecticut; Rachel meets Jon's skeptical sister; Paul and Karine butt heads; and Tarik has quite the religious experience with Hazel's folks.

[Godfrey 3.5k]

Happy Sunday night! Let's dish!

[rideashire 3.2k]

"It's embarrassing because she's fat"

Woah there, Micheal....woah dere. Tell us how you really feel. 

And then he says he didn't mean it like that, okay but how did you mean it? lol. I guess there's something to be said about being blunt and honest with your words but I don't think that Angela was prepared for all this honesty coming from him. This show is the gift that keeps on giving.

Edited August 27, 2018 by rideashire

[Godfrey 3.5k]

I have no hope any of these couples can make it. They're all so mismatched.

Tarik, you chubby fool. Hazel sees you as a way out of poverty. Nothing more.

[Godfrey 3.5k]

Paul's another fool. 34 y/o mama's boy.

[rideashire 3.2k]

Five hours later, cut to Tarik, eyes glazed over, pondering the life choices that lead him to that church.

He's in this 100% if he stuck around that long. 

[MrHufflepuff 7.2k]

I don't get Angela's problem with the clothes.  Nigerian clothes can hide a lot if you're self-conscious about your body.  Meanwhile, she's walking around in spaghetti straps.

[Scarlett45 28.7k]

55 minutes ago, rideashire said:

"It's embarrassing because she's fat"

Woah there, Micheal....woah dere. Tell us how you really feel. 

And then he says he didn't mean it like that, okay but how did you mean it? lol. I guess there's something to be said about being blunt and honest with your words but I don't think that Angela was prepared for all this honesty coming from him. This show is the gift that keeps on giving.

Michael didn’t mean that HE was embarrassed but that Angela was self conscious to try on clothes because of her weight- which is what she told him. Now his tact in saying that to the sales woman wasn’t the best but he wasn’t being insulting IMO. 

[Mindthinkr 30.3k]

16 minutes ago, MrHufflepuff said:

I don't get Angela's problem with the clothes.  Nigerian clothes can hide a lot if you're self-conscious about your body.  Meanwhile, she's walking around in spaghetti straps.

And her industrial bra showing. 

[Scarlett45 28.7k]

16 minutes ago, MrHufflepuff said:

I don't get Angela's problem with the clothes.  Nigerian clothes can hide a lot if you're self-conscious about your body.  Meanwhile, she's walking around in spaghetti straps.

I think it’s that they were unfamiliar and she would have to try them on around people she didn’t know. She doesn’t know the sizing structure, if they carried her size or would have to make one for her custom- she would probably be embarrassed if they combined two dresses to make one for her (I don’t agree but I can see how she feels that way). This is a woman that lives in leggings and big oversized tops. 

[iwasish 30.4k]

1 minute ago, Mindthinkr said:

And her industrial bra showing. 

I noticed she had it on after the first night they were together. Boom boom boom 3 times and she managed to keep her bra on.

[rideashire 3.2k]

2 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Michael didn’t mean that HE was embarrassed but that Angela was self conscious to try on clothes because of her weight- which is what she told him. Now his tact in saying that to the sales woman wasn’t the best but he wasn’t being insulting IMO. 

I don't think he meant to offend her, I was just amused he came right out and said fat. The tact is not really there at all, but it's probably better she learn that now.

[greekmom 6.9k]

20 minutes ago, MrHufflepuff said:

I don't get Angela's problem with the clothes.  Nigerian clothes can hide a lot if you're self-conscious about your body.  Meanwhile, she's walking around in spaghetti straps.

That's exactly it. She rather walk around showing it off than covering it up

[EllaDisco 1.4k]

Michael introduces Angela to his Nigerian mom?  As opposed to his other mothers?  

I don't think it's a big deal that Michael said Angela was fat.  He was explaining why she didn't want to try on the dress.  She was using euphemisms like "I'm big" which is the American way, but in other places they just use fat as the descriptor.  It's not meant necessarily as an insult.  I remember tutoring a Hungarian woman when I lived in Hungary and she thought it was strange when a previous English teacher had told her not to describe someone herself as fat.  She thought that was the best way, because she was trying to describe herself for someone who would be meeting her somewhere and she wanted them to be able to find her.

Ricky, you should have gone to meet Hazel instead.  If you promised to bring her and her son to the US, she probably would have accepted your proposal.  Speaking of Ricky, every time someone asks him how it went with Melissa, he mentions her looks several times and then maybe throws in one other descriptor.  He know nothing about her, except for how she looks, but he's convinced he's in love and wants to marry her.  I think I know why he's already had two divorces.  And now is he planning to meet another woman?  Is this his back-up dream woman?

Tarik, if religion is an issue, you need to discuss it before you plan the wedding.  Maybe that's why you should have more than a two week text only courtship before deciding to marry someone.

Paul and Karinne - yes a baby will solve all your problems. Maybe they can each teach the baby their language and then once the kids is old enough he/she can translate for them?

Darcey and Jesse are just awful to watch.

Rachel and Jon seem too normal for this show.  I almost get the feeling that a lot of their "discussions" are producer-driven to give them some kind of controversy.

[BradandJanet 8.2k]

1 hour ago, rideashire said:

"It's embarrassing because she's fat"

Woah there, Micheal....woah dere. Tell us how you really feel. 

And then he says he didn't mean it like that, okay but how did you mean it? lol. I guess there's something to be said about being blunt and honest with your words but I don't think that Angela was prepared for all this honesty coming from him. This show is the gift that keeps on giving.

There are cultural differences about directness. I don't think he meant to be insulting, but it hurt her feelings.

[EllaDisco 1.4k]

Just now, BradandJanet said:

There are cultural differences about directness. I don't think he meant to be insulting, but it hurt her feelings.

I agree.  This is one actual challenge of marrying someone from another country.  What I originally thought this show was going to be about, not all these crazy situations.

[MrHufflepuff 7.2k]

3 minutes ago, BradandJanet said:

There are cultural differences about directness. I don't think he meant to be insulting, but it hurt her feelings.

Hmm... maybe they should use a translator app.

Speaking of clothes... Jesse wearing white jeans with knee-holes and a white shirt.  Gah!  Who dresses like that?

[Scarlett45 28.7k]

6 minutes ago, EllaDisco said:

Rachel and Jon seem too normal for this show.  I almost get the feeling that a lot of their "discussions" are producer-driven to give them some kind of controversy.

Yes. If anything there might be something in Jon’s past (like his fight while he was in University) that would prevent him from being able to move forward with Rachel. Or Lucy’s bio dad will show back up. 

[Adeejay 9.4k]

Angela has a big personality and a seemingly big heart.  I honestly believe she was grumpy because she was going through nicotine withdrawal.  

Jon is clearly not as enamored with Rachel as she is with him.  If he isn't feeling her, it would probably be best if he pulls the plug now before Lucy gets attached.  

I think Tarik is starting to realize that Hazel is only using him for a way out.  

Paul is really slow.  I can't believe he doesn't see that something is off with Karine.  She is puffy, "lazy" and doesn't seem to have a lot of energy.  Gee, I wonder why.  

[iwasish 30.4k]

2 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

Angela has a big personality and a seemingly big heart.  I honestly believe she was grumpy because she was going through nicotine withdrawal.  

Jon is clearly not as enamored with Rachel as she is with him.  If he isn't feeling her, it would probably be best if he pulls the plug now before Lucy gets attached.  

I think Tarik is starting to realize that Hazel is only using him for a way out.  

Paul is really slow.  I can't believe he doesn't see that something is off with Karine.  She is puffy, "lazy" and doesn't seem to have a lot of energy.  Gee, I wonder why.  

But wants to have a baby that will need 24/7 attention.

[Godfrey 3.5k]

4 minutes ago, iwasish said:

But wants to have a baby that will need 24/7 attention.

Quote

 

That baby has a job: seal the deal with Pole & get Kreeny a ticket to the US.

[Mercolleen 2.6k]

Jesse and Darcy are just ... ugh. Does she really think this is how relationships work? She can't really be groveling just for the cameras, can she? It's really her being honestly pathetic? "Apologies for the shouting" to the waitress. Fighting over elbow room in the back seat of the car. Jesse's constant scolding ("My ears!" "I was still talking.") Sad.

I did enjoy Carlos laughing in Ricky's face via Facetime.

And Jon's sister announcing, "He just dropped the baby."

AH! Angela's hair is hanging on the wall in the preview!!!!

[CoachWristletJen 16.2k]

Even if he did call her fat, Grangela had no excuse for hitting him in the face!

Edited August 27, 2018 by CoachWristletJen

[DaisyDuke 415]

Did Angela just do a mama bird/baby bird feeding with her boo? I can’t...the thought of them having an all night sex fest was bad enough...but swapping chewed up snail...gag

 

and yet I continue to watch lol

[sainte-chapelle 9.9k]

Lol at the full shopping cart of cleaning supplies, how many cleaning supplies does one need? Karine is pretty lazy and was acting like an entitled brat.

I laughed HARD when the blue banner came up and said "five hours later" and they cut right to Tarik's  face. 

Edited August 27, 2018 by sainte-chapelle

[Frozendiva 8.2k]

7 minutes ago, Godfrey said:

That baby has a job: seal the deal with Pole & get Kreeny a ticket to the US.

Anchor baby. Maybe dual US citizenship? 

A baby rarely improves a relationship and commitment. Just masks the issues for a bit. But they are still there.

i am still watching the sho. Got home later Han expected from a family function.

[Godfrey 3.5k]

5 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Lol at the full shopping cart of cleaning supplies, how many cleaning supplies does one need?

This is neurotic, germaphobe Pole. There aren't enough cleaning supplies in all of Brazil for that freak to feel safe.

[Kareem 3.0k]

32 minutes ago, EllaDisco said:

Michael introduces Angela to his Nigerian mom?  As opposed to his other mothers?  

I don't think it's a big deal that Michael said Angela was fat.  He was explaining why she didn't want to try on the dress.  She was using euphemisms like "I'm big" which is the American way, but in other places they just use fat as the descriptor.  It's not meant necessarily as an insult.  I remember tutoring a Hungarian woman when I lived in Hungary and she thought it was strange when a previous English teacher had told her not to describe someone herself as fat.  She thought that was the best way, because she was trying to describe herself for someone who would be meeting her somewhere and she wanted them to be able to find her.

Ricky, you should have gone to meet Hazel instead.  If you promised to bring her and her son to the US, she probably would have accepted your proposal.  Speaking of Ricky, every time someone asks him how it went with Melissa, he mentions her looks several times and then maybe throws in one other descriptor.  He know nothing about her, except for how she looks, but he's convinced he's in love and wants to marry her.  I think I know why he's already had two divorces.  And now is he planning to meet another woman?  Is this his back-up dream woman?

Tarik, if religion is an issue, you need to discuss it before you plan the wedding.  Maybe that's why you should have more than a two week text only courtship before deciding to marry someone.

Paul and Karinne - yes a baby will solve all your problems. Maybe they can each teach the baby their language and then once the kids is old enough he/she can translate for them?

Darcey and Jesse are just awful to watch.

Rachel and Jon seem too normal for this show.  I almost get the feeling that a lot of their "discussions" are producer-driven to give them some kind of controversy.

Whole lotta truth in this post.  Pole and Krinny using the baby to translate is too funny.  

[Godfrey 3.5k]

13 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

Even if he did call her fat, Grangela had no excuse for hitting him in the face!

That won't go over well with Michael, his friends, or mom. Angela is not as submissive to her man as the culture requires.

[LilaFowler 18.7k]

I'm guessing that most of Darcey's relationships are dysfunctional.

Ricky is pathetic. Who really thinks that camo is a good idea when traveling abroad?

Tarik is a fool. I feel sorry for Hazel, though. She is beautiful -- Tarik was really the best she could get?

Angela is fascinating and I can't look away. Jet lag, nicotine withdrawal, the heat and the stress of the situation probably contributed to her mini breakdown.

Paul and Karine are doomed.

[Adeejay 9.4k]

I believe all the drama between Darcey and Jesse is manufactured.  Grown folks just don't behave like that, especially in public.  Based on their looks, Stacie appears to be the before plastic surgery picture and Darcey is the after.  As a pizza connoisseur, Patrick Dempsey, Jon Hamm and/or Kyle Chandler couldn't drag me away from that hot, delicious pie, let alone the likes of Jesse.  

[sainte-chapelle 9.9k]

Jesse is dressed like a slob for dinner, that Sir is bad etiquette 

[Godfrey 3.5k]

2 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

I believe all the drama between Darcey and Jesse is manufactured.  Grown folks just don't behave like that, especially in public.  Based on their looks, Stacie appears to be the before plastic surgery picture and Darcey is the after.  As a pizza connoisseur, Patrick Dempsey, Jon Hamm and/or Kyle Chandler couldn't drag me away from that hot, delicious pie, let alone the likes of Jesse.  

And what's with Jesse sneering at the idea of folding a slice of pizza?? That is the proper etiquette. When in Rome, Jesse...

[spankydoll 4.4k]

Angela is fat. It's math. I'm fat too. Deal with it. She is ridiculous.

Darcey wants a drink. She had such a longing look On her face when the waitress asked about drinks. I don't think that she is a full blown alcoholic but she's sober like Ben Affleck and Countless Luanne are.which is placating other people. 

[Honey 19.8k]

What's up with Lucy's forehead?  Did Jon drop her on her face?

 

Jon's Sister is a bitch.

Edited August 27, 2018 by Honey

[Eric 295]

Tarik's boner was expecting a sexy and romantic getaway with Pinay Angelina Jolie when he arrived to Manila but instead, it got a 6 hour of religious madness. Ahaha Epic.

[PityFree 16.8k]

 And the mute, Paul, went ahead and agreed to start working on having a baby!   Paul, you need to start googling pregnancy symptoms and realize that Karine is already pregnant.

Edited August 27, 2018 by PityFree

[Toaster Strudel 13.1k]

Let me start with the wretched Dutch/American train wreck that is made of Task Meester Jesse and Drama Darcey.

The desperate-to-put-a-ring-on-it Darcey is back!  Seeing married couples meant they were meant to be together in last week's episode, but this week she's practically smelling that proposal coming, why, he just met her daughters and no one jumped off the boat (presciently named the Hornblower Serenity in honor of Jesse's personality) in a fit of pique. Like Darcey, Jesse is extraordinarily image-conscious. He likes to project an aura of calm and wisdom but all I see is childish behavior and rage that he awkwardly suppresses by changing the subject to "look a goat!" or some words of wisdom delivered with a controlled, yet vexed tone. So it turns out that Jesse is the force that demands she puts the brakes on her usage of (often drunken) of social media. While they bicker about who will be posting what and where, or should even be posting anything at all, he haughtily challenges her "Go! Go post now!" as she balks, then tuns catty. "Act your age and start structuring your thoughts!" he mutters. "I am a strong woman!" she lies. The strong woman walks out again, all 4' 10" of her, petulantly prancing around wearing emergency flip flops (you never know when your drama will require a nimble exit and the need to ditch the 6" heels). How many times do they go to a restaurant, fight, and walk out? Who pays the tab? In their defense, that was a lot of arugula on Darcey plate, a lot of people would walk out on this much arugula, too.

They get back to the hotel. Right away, 50 Shades of Jesse speaks of sleeping on the couch, they get all luvy-duvy, and Jesse goes to take a shower, sees himself in the mirror and falls in love again and the make up sex is on. "It's rare what we have, once in a lifetime" - well thank god for small mercies. "Is Darcey able to fix herself?" asks the douche nozzle. He wonders how Darcey lives. Does she bike to the grocery store? Dorothy, you're not in Amsterdam anymore. Is Jesse's lust of riverfront properties, boats, and luxury real estate campfires hinting as to a motive of why he continues a relationship with a woman whose every word irritates him to no end?

They fought in the back seat of that car like 6 yr olds.

D: You keep elbowing me, mom, Jesse's elbowing me!
J: No I'm not why are you lying?
D: I'm not! But you're kinda going like that! (mimics) OK I'll just shuffle over here.
J: I'm just sitting here stretching, babe. FUCK! It's always something with you!
D: Oh geez (contorts face) you're so RuuuuuuUUuuuude!
J: No... that's just REALITY! nener nener nener
D: I just get frustrated with the bickering and us butting heads, we need to figure that out fast, cuz I don't want that around the kids (unless it's butting heads with her twin sister, they've seen that all their lives).
J: You need to figure yourself out!
D: Don't talk down to me! Please stop! I'm a strong woman (NOPE), and I don't need to be, like, belittled!
J: Ja, you're not being belittled, honey, that's only between your ears, alright?
D: Sarcastic OK cool
J: Let me start appreciating this beautiful nature, look, a goat!
D: Yeah the foliage cuz you don't appreciate... (she cuts herself off from saying 'me') yeah.
J: I don't appreciate BS, ja.

Then later:

D: You're not grumpy grandpa anymore.
J: YOU make me grumpy grandpa!!!

It turns out that Darcey butts heads with her twin, too, surprise, surprise. Stacey is all judgy (which is ironic given that she has her own long-distance relationship with a hot, 20-something Albanian herself, judging by her IG account), but Darcey gives her the goods. She retells how Jesse & herself didn't make it to her birthday cake because they both got "triggered." Are they really jealous of each other? Darcey asking TaskMeester which IDENTICAL TWIN is prettier is a hint, but it's Stacey that drives the point home. She looks at Jesse longingly and contrasts Drama Darcey with her more laid back, wise and agreeable nature, adding that Darcey needs to "work on herself" - Stacey is laying it pretty thick that she wants Jesse for herself.

Optimistically, Jesse tells us that he is "trying to be mature." Did it work? To help us decide, the editing monkeys offer us this evidence: "Darcey can you be quiet please I'm trying to talk to the producers and this is my time work on my TV image and you're ruining things?" - followed by next week's preview where Jesse berates her choice of steak-cutting method. "YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!" You tried, Jesse, you tried.

Edited August 27, 2018 by Toaster Strudel

[Morgalisa 5.4k]

Run Pole run.

[Honey 19.8k]

14 minutes ago, Godfrey said:

And what's with Jesse sneering at the idea of folding a slice of pizza?? That is the proper etiquette. When in Rome, Jesse...

I don't think it was so much about folding the pizza, I think the problem was that it was suggested by Darcy.  If she had said "you need to eat it with a knife and fork", he would have wanted to fold it.

[pinky33 844]

I am so addicted to this trainwreck. I actually get excited when I see it's going to be a few minutes longer than 2 hours. Nevermind the fact that more than half that time consists of recaps, scenes from future episodes, and commercials for families of multiples shows (WTH are there so many of them?). This show makes me forget I have to go back to work on Monday.

First...this season should be called "The Lucy Show" because she's the highlight and the star for me. My old ovaries ache for a baby when I see her. Swoon!

Jon is so not attracted to Rachel. I get that she wants to be comfortable and be herself and is a poor single mom. But omg, woman! Could you not have gone into a Ross before the trip? It's not Neiman Marcus, but you can find some attractive looking pj's, lingerie, sleepwear for pretty cheap there. I've been with my man for 5 years now, and even I wouldn't wear that ratty white tshirt to bed with him. Jon seems a little special and sister was a biotch...but, hey she was honest.

Darcey and Jesse are EXHAUSTING!! Worst couple ever.

Ricky is an idiot. That's all.

Tarik also needs to shop at Ross. They have lots of collared shirts there.

Oh Pole, Karine is sooooo already pregnant. He is just behind Ricky on the idiocy scale. If Norma Bates had come with him, she'd know. My teenage daughter is more mature than Karine. 

Angela is quickly spiraling downwards... I was impressed at her graciousness towards Michael's mom especially when she rejected the purse and asked for one like Angela's (ummmm, what?). But, I was so grossed out at the "exchange" of the snail between Angela and Michael. I'm sure she knows how to swallow....

Edited August 27, 2018 by pinky33 · Reason: I apparently can't spell Karine

[Trainwreck73 17]

Was Pole trolling the audience or Karine’s parents wearing the shirt that said “Guilty” on the front. I’d say yes but he’s far too stupid to come up with that. And how in the hell is he affording to live in Brazil for 90 days?  Granted it ain’t the Taj Mahal they’re living in, but all those cleaning supplies ain’t cheap. 

 

And the people that check the marriage license paperwork to ensure it’s in order also rent out reception halls?  That’s  bleeping brilliant!

[Morgalisa 5.4k]

These trainwrecks make Nicole and Azan look like they are running toward each other on the beach.

[AZChristian 30.8k]

We are booked on a Caribbean cruise over Christmas. The info on our stop in Grenada specifically warned that we would not be permitted to leave the ship in any type of camo clothing. When we travel, we try to research things like appropriate clothing.

[Eric 295]

Backward baseball cap Tarik is 43 years old and he dresses like a teenage boy with bad tastes. Maybe he wants to show the world his tacky tattoos with these awful tank tops. Grow up brother! But Pinay Hazel couldn't care less, She sees him as a meal ticket straight to milk and honey USA.

[Toaster Strudel 13.1k]

The boring UK couple was a total snoozefest. Garbage Gnome's sister doesn't understand his relationship with Lucy because he has none. His reasons for not wanting Lucy to call him "dad" were quite... reasonable.  Like Judge Judy says... NEXT!

Clearly, Baseball Cap Tarik was expecting to shag Hazel on the first night, but Dead Hazel Eyes and her family have different plans. They were expecting him to propose on the first night so that "all of us can be happy." Didn't propose yet? HOW ABOUT NOW? Her parents might be more prosperous if they spent less time shaking and crying in "church" and talking about god all the time. Five, six hours of this nonsense? They paid lip service to pretending they care about Tariq's religion. Good for him not to hide his lack of belief, and being honest, and good on Hazel for translating it to her parents accurately "Tarik doesn't have religion," while putting on her best "puh-leeeaaze accept him anyway" face to her parents. They didn't skip a beat, They've done their due diligence, past that, he could have horns and cloven hoofs and they wouldn't care. They half-assed try to convert him with a short sentence and when he says no, they shrug it off like they totally expected it anyway. These two are truly worlds apart. That religious insanity was pretty shocking.

Ricky's Dicky - Judging by next week's preview, Ricky is a disgusting pig beyond anything we've seen of him so far. It was bad enough that he thinks he has a "great connection" with someone he has little connection with beyond the sending of money, and wanking to the sight of her rigid implants. The chaste gentleman boasts about his deep love for Melissa to his friend: "She looks hot as hell, better in person!" So you know right there, this is a rock-solid two-way relationship with deep foundations, that will last forever. He even claims to his friend that he rejected a kiss from her... but that's not what I saw. She gave him the cheek - but what do I know? Is his friend right about this so-called rejected kiss being a missed opportunity, as Ricky misleads him on the facts? "Maybe he's right, maybe I suck." Yes you do suck, but not for the reasons you're thinking. He didn't want to give Melissa the (correct) impression that is only in Columbia for her titties and some epic shagging where she'd be doing 100% of the work. He's a gentleman, he keeps repeating, convincing no one. Next week though, it's hinted that the love of his life, in whom he placed all his hopes, and reportedly impressed on their first date, can be quickly forsaken for a hopefully more available "plan B" girlfriend, who I assume is less hot as hell, because these guys are impossibly superficial.

Edited August 28, 2018 by Toaster Strudel

[Alonzo Mosely FBI 13.4k]

1 hour ago, CoachWristletJen said:

 Grangela 

Bah!! Hahaha 

Krinny is SOOOOO already pregnant!

[For Cereals 3.8k]

Emoji stuffies-check, mosquito net-check, sex toys found by mom as she’s trying to put a tangle of her hair in your luggage (TM to whoever said that earlier-hilarious)-check, pregnancy test IN ENGLISH...FAIL

Edited August 27, 2018 by For Cereals

[Frozendiva 8.2k]

Well, Mother Pole possesses some sort of brain, asking Pole about what is going on and maybe trying to get the gears between his ears working. She's right, Pole and Karine communicate via an App, he barely knows her, he doesn't have a job, he can't possibly support himself, Karine, and a baby. For Pole, the red flag should have gone up when Karine out of nowhere wants a baby. Uh, she's probably 3-4 months along already. She is not the fresh flower she was last season. She looks much older, dirty, haggard, puffy, etc. What happened? And in a real rush to solidify the 'commitment' by having a baby. Pole, start the arithmetic skills. Maybe add a calculator App to your phone.

Tarik - you fool. You met the woman online what was seemingly a few weeks ago. Her parents already pressuring for a proposal? Hazel does need to tell him about her child - as he has a right to know. He's been in the country for 24 hours and the parents expected an engagement? Hazel is upset that he has an ex in Thailand? I'd be asking him why he seeks relationships with Asian women instead of women back home in the US? The parents inviting him to 'church' was a bit much. I guess he was expecting some sort of hour long Catholic service and not what he experienced - and for five hours of it? I'd have walked out.  No Hazel's parents, he is not likely to become the evangelical or cultish type that your 'religion' is.

Grangela - you may wish to put the ring at the pawn shop back on the market. Michael has a few relationship dealbreakers. No he does not like your habit. You're being big/fat may not be forever. But your addictions ain't easy to quit. Surely the dressmaker at the market could discreetly find her a nice dress. The whole picture on the phone thing screams a bit odd but who knows.

Ricky you deluded idiot. Are you seriously expecting the prized Melissa to show up the next day? She saw you, cut her loss. Stop sending her money. Spend some time on the beach, do some sightseeing and suck up the non-existent relationship and move on. You may be naïve and an idiot, but she owes you nothing. Did she agree to your coming to visit? Probably not. The beautiful woman you want may not want you. You should recognize the relationship red flags and run.

I find it surprising that Jon has apparently had many, many relationships. His sister came off as a bit much. He barely knows Rachel, is not hugely attracted to her or wants to spend a lot of time with her. Rachel is also in it for the fantasy of having a man who has been a rock for her online and who for unknown reasons pays for her baby's daycare. Are they willing to make a life with each other? He is uncertain that he wants to be a 'dad' and who can blame him? Rachel could still put on some better clothes - nothing expensive - but nothing ratty. No idea what both of them have to bring to any relationship right now. Rachel wants a daddy, Jon wants what exactly? Being a parent is a 24/7 job and he probably is freaking out at that sort of responsibility.

I do find it odd that if their 'story' was filmed in December, that there aren't any holiday decorations around.

Darcey and Jesse, I just can't. Don't know if they are in it for publicity for whatever they are shilling, or what.  Jesse is smug and arrogant. Always looking for something to fix in Darcey. Dude, she isn't going to change because you want her to. Whatever work she does on herself will never be enough for you. You dressed like a slob to go to that nice restaurant. You also vacillate between being verbally and emotionally abusive and making whatever grand romantic gesture. Maybe her twin wants you - she certainly is much calmer and probably is better at playing your game. Perhaps you need to explain transactional analysis to Darcey and the roles of parent, child, and adult. Far too much time spent triggering the other. Go back home to Amsterdam.

[Toaster Strudel 13.1k]

Greasy Kriny's mercenary side is starting to show as she rushes Fire Station Pole to get married fast, and immediately jumps to the topic of having a baby right after they apply for a license. Candidly, she admits that this baby will be tasked at birth with keeping the parents together, stop them from fighting, and force Pole into a lifetime commitment. "Puh-leeeease," she begs Pole. who reluctantly sorta agrees, but talks to mom first, who conceals her horror and wisely reminds him of his inability to support himself. OooPSie.

And this is why I love this show. Next up, we discover that Greasy Kriny is lazy, slovenly, messy, childish, and left to her own devices, would live in filth, buried in poop emoji pillows, unicorn rubbish, cheap country fair plushies, and Disney theme dildos. Pole, who can't support himself, has a moment of clarity: "She can't take care of herself, how will she take care of a baby?" Cue scenes of Kriny sleeping in and listlessly rolling in bed while Pole tidies up her childish accessories so that the floor can be seen again. The sink is completely full of dirty dishes. The overflowing drier linen trap could cause a fire, and this is Pole saying it, he should know, I take his word for it. He complains that she shops like a 12-yr old, letting him do everything and take all the decisions even as he doesn't understand the language. Looking bored, she carelessly bumps the shopping cart on store displays, and won't get off social media to pay attention to the world. She mimes "I dunno" to every question he asks her. And like a lethargic, yet defiant teen, she whines that he's controlling, acting like her dad, and suddenly the age difference is an issue. Maybe there is some truth to the suggestion that she is addicted to something.