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Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club

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A place to discuss particular episodes, arcs and moments from the show's run. Please remember this isn't a complete catch-all topic -- check out the forum for character topics and other places for show-related talk.

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Former perennial mugshot model and foe of Oprah Winfrey, Lindsay Lohan will star (term used loosely) in this MTV project featuring her...doing something (but definitely not drugs) at a resort/club in Mykonos, Greece. Rumor has it the place is a money laundering operation which, duh. 

Premieres in 2019. Here's the teaser:

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How can someone look like a ghost, but live  on the beach and have such intense hair. I used to think she was so gorgeous 

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She’s 32(!!!). I’m lowkey obsessed with this club. I follow her on Snapchat and whenever she snaps from the club, there’s hardly anyone there; same with the preview above. It seems pathetic and desperate, like all things she does, and adding Tiffany Trump to the mix (per Page Six) certainly won’t help. 

Anyway, I’ll probably watch an episode or two, just to see if we can get hints into her actual life. That’s where the real interest is, IMO; real Lindsay is fascinating in a Becky Sharp kind of way.

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On 8/5/2018 at 4:44 PM, tobeannounced said:

How old is she? She is not aging well at any rate. She's messed with her face too much.

She turned 32 on July 2nd. She looks good...for a 75 year old with a three pack a day smoking habit fighting off the sun after her third face lift. 

Sigh. 

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1 hour ago, luckyroll3 said:

I don't even need to think twice about putting this on watch list.  I'm in.

I can't decide, but I'm definitely here for the snark that's sure to follow!

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Like a lot of Lindsay’s “projects,” I wasn’t sure if this show was actually ever going to come to fruition and be aired. It appears it is indeed going to be a thing! It looks like a train wreck. I’m here for it.

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On 8/7/2018 at 11:38 AM, UYI said:

She turned 32 on July 2nd. She looks good...for a 75 year old with a three pack a day smoking habit fighting off the sun after her third face lift. 

This is what happens when you start smoking as a teen, have an alcohol/drug dependency, and most importantly, are naturally a VERY fair-skinned redhead yet you purposefully subject yourself to UV damage by going to tanning beds in your teens/20s, you avoid the advice of the medical community that fair-skinned people should practice Sun safety by limiting their exposure to the sun between the hours of 10am-2pm, and you don’t wear sunscreen.

She’s like a walking poster for safe-sun practices and against tanning salons. Dermatologists should probably just hang a picture of her in their offices as a deterrent. You will age like Lindsay Lohan has if you’re very fair skinned and don’t practice smart sun/UV protection or go to the tanning booth (and smoking/drinking/drugs don’t help).

I’m also assuming the escorting ages someone pretty quickly, too....’cause let’s not pretend that isn’t happening.

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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3 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

(I’m assuming the escorting ages someone pretty quickly, too....’cause let’s not pretend that isn’t happening.)

Wait...what??  You're gonna need to expand on this.  You can't drop tea like that without further elaboration!

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https://www.lipstickalley.com/threads/lindsay-lohan-confirmed-escort-on-ig-by-heaux-mentor.1250298/

http://gawker.com/5976481/new-report-says-lindsay-lohan-is-a-paid-escort-for-rich-guys-shell-do-handholding-but-no-sex-stuff

More info is out there if you Google: Lindsay Lohan escort Dubai yacht.

I mean, it hasn’t been 100% confirmed, but in the celebrity gossip and snark world, it’s widely accepted and I tend to think it’s how she’s managed to stay financially afloat (somewhat, anyway) in the past few years. 

(There are also other former stars/Z-list stars who seem to now be living mainly as “yacht girls” & traveling as guests of rich men to the Middle East off and on yet have no apparent source of income. I’m not hating - sex work is indeed WORK, so they are earning it.)

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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10 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

This is what happens when you start smoking as a teen, have an alcohol/drug dependency, and most importantly, are naturally a VERY fair-skinned redhead yet you purposefully subject yourself to UV damage by going to tanning beds in your teens/20s, you avoid the advice of the medical community that fair-skinned people should practice Sun safety by limiting their exposure to the sun between the hours of 10am-2pm, and you don’t wear sunscreen.

She’s like a walking poster for safe-sun practices and against tanning salons. Dermatologists should probably just hang a picture of her in their offices as a deterrent. You will age like Lindsay Lohan has if you’re very fair skinned and don’t practice smart sun/UV protection or go to the tanning booth (and smoking/drinking/drugs don’t help).

I’m also assuming the escorting ages someone pretty quickly, too....’cause let’s not pretend that isn’t happening.

I don’t disagree that drugs, smoking and a lack of SPF will speed up aging. But  in Lohan’s case, I don’t think we can discount “a buttload of cosmetic procedures” as a big reason for her vastly different (and vaguely unsettling) appearance these days.

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21 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

https://www.lipstickalley.com/threads/lindsay-lohan-confirmed-escort-on-ig-by-heaux-mentor.1250298/

http://gawker.com/5976481/new-report-says-lindsay-lohan-is-a-paid-escort-for-rich-guys-shell-do-handholding-but-no-sex-stuff

More info is out there if you Google: Lindsay Lohan escort Dubai yacht.

I mean, it hasn’t been 100% confirmed, but in the celebrity gossip and snark world, it’s widely accepted and I tend to think it’s how she’s managed to stay financially afloat (somewhat, anyway) in the past few years. 

(There are also other former stars/Z-list stars who seem to now be living mainly as “yacht girls” & traveling as guests of rich men to the Middle East off and on yet have no apparent source of income. I’m not hating - sex work is indeed WORK, so they are earning it.)

Thanks for the info (and for sending me into a 3 hour internet rabbit hole!).  So fascinating and sad.  I had never heard about any of this stuff.  

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On 8/10/2018 at 12:46 AM, Duke2801 said:

I don’t disagree that drugs, smoking and a lack of SPF will speed up aging. But  in Lohan’s case, I don’t think we can discount “a buttload of cosmetic procedures” as a big reason for her vastly different (and vaguely unsettling) appearance these days.

I think this is a case where all of these things came together and created a horror show. 

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On 04/08/2018 at 10:35 PM, Ashlyc said:

How can someone look like a ghost, but live  on the beach and have such intense hair. I used to think she was so gorgeous 

Parent Trap & Freaky Friday were on TV recently.  What a shame she's buggered up her life.

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I think I'd be hot pissed if I spent a decent chunk of change to vacation at this toilet place where they served up entertainment like this that amounts to nothing more than me watching someone's drunk aunt try and act all sexy dancing to Pit Bull at a wedding:

Alas, I cannot #DoTheLilo as I have long since recycled my Pants Place Plus jumpsuit and I only have one bottle of Jack Daniels currently at my disposal. 

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On 12/3/2018 at 5:34 PM, Giant Misfit said:

Premiere date is January 8th at 8:00 Eastern:

 

Fingers crossed this is the train wreck I'm hoping it to be. 

So MTV had her drop the whack-cent for all the THs, at least? I approve.

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She's one of those train wrecks I am actually too embarrassed to watch, so I am counting on y'all to report back here!

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I just finished the episode and it was totally focused on the "ambassadors."  Not interesting to me.  So, I wonder if the focus is going to be on the staff with just minimal appearances from Lindsay.  If so, I won't stay with the season as I am in it for HER!  Not the train wrecks of the various employees.  I'll watch it next week and then decide.  I have a lot of hope for a snarkfabulous show!.

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On 8/4/2018 at 9:35 PM, Ashlyc said:

How can someone look like a ghost, but live  on the beach and have such intense hair. I used to think she was so gorgeous 

LOL, I don't know about Gorgeous, but just like you I thought she was very good looking and then watching her now, Yikes.

Her and Charlie Sheen look alike.

2 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I just finished the episode and it was totally focused on the "ambassadors."  Not interesting to me.  So, I wonder if the focus is going to be on the staff with just minimal appearances from Lindsay.  If so, I won't stay with the season as I am in it for HER!  Not the train wrecks of the various employees.  I'll watch it next week and then decide.  I have a lot of hope for a snarkfabulous show!.

Yes.  Tonight's episode was not the premiere.  It was introducing us to the ambassadors.

I believe that it will not be about Lindsay, but about her staff, which honestly, why is everyone making me feel like an old lady?????????

These kids want to "hook up" but then don't seem to understand the rules of hooking up and want to fight.  

And they are so young, they obviously don't know how to express themselves.

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This almost seemed like a game show to me with those Ambassadors. Is someone going to get kicked off each week? They all live in a house together just like a game show type of thing.

I watched the first episode and it was terrible. I thought Unachored was bad, Lindsay's is much much worse thus far. I'll stick around for a few epis but probably not much more then that.

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It seems like its Vanderpump Rules in Greece.  Having said that I think Lindsay is going to be a Lisa Vanderpump type who shows up everyone once in awhile and shells out advice, etc.  

 

Enh it looks ok I guess and I'll probably continue to watch but not 100% invested like I am with the Housewives shows...

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6 hours ago, Dirtybubble said:

It seems like its Vanderpump Rules in Greece.  Having said that I think Lindsay is going to be a Lisa Vanderpump type who shows up everyone once in awhile and shells out advice, etc. 

I thought the same, that this is a Vanderpump Rules wannabe show.  Lame.  The only thing LL has in common with LVP is that they both look 58.

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In a preview where Lindsay gives some of her sage advice, she says she's worked hard for the Lohan brand.  Exactly what is the Lohan brand?

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21 hours ago, hoosier80 said:

In a preview where Lindsay gives some of her sage advice, she says she's worked hard for the Lohan brand.  Exactly what is the Lohan brand?

If I had to guess it’s a brand she should be embarrassed by. 🙄🤷🏽‍♀️

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Man, most of these "ambassadors" are annoying as fuck.  Especially the guy talking about how all the girls are twos.  <insert eyeroll> . And of course the blonde was sitting next to him allowing him to trash the other females, who all happen to be women of color.  Color me not surprised.  

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On 9/3/2018 at 6:09 PM, Giant Misfit said:

I think I'd be hot pissed if I spent a decent chunk of change to vacation at this toilet place where they served up entertainment like this that amounts to nothing more than me watching someone's drunk aunt try and act all sexy dancing to Pit Bull at a wedding:

Alas, I cannot #DoTheLilo as I have long since recycled my Pants Place Plus jumpsuit and I only have one bottle of Jack Daniels currently at my disposal. 

I can’t do the Lilo because I’m too kind to subject strangers to second hand embarrassment.

Theres a video of her accosting a family in the street.  Holy shit is this poor kid off her rocker.  I Was hoping that moving out of the country and getting out of the limelight would help, but it seems she just took up with more scavengers eager to exploit her mental illness.

the most she can probably hope for is Courtney Love levels of sanity.  And damn, it took about 50 years for her to attain that level.  

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The more I see the promos, the more I think the producers realize this is going to be a snarky train-wreck type show.  "Best of the best", "Boss bitch" couples with troublesome "ambassadors" seems like it will make for some good drama.  It will be disappointing if the show is all about the supporting cast.  They show a cleaned up version of her doing the Lilo in the promos.  Talk about expectations vs reality.

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On 1/5/2019 at 3:59 AM, luckyroll3 said:

Man, most of these "ambassadors" are annoying as fuck.  Especially the guy talking about how all the girls are twos.  <insert eyeroll> . And of course the blonde was sitting next to him allowing him to trash the other females, who all happen to be women of color.  Color me not surprised.  

I just think these kids are too young and not as worldly as they think.

The maturity level is just not there for what Lindsay "says" she want to do.

On 1/6/2019 at 9:57 AM, BigBingerBro said:

The more I see the promos, the more I think the producers realize this is going to be a snarky train-wreck type show.  "Best of the best", "Boss bitch" couples with troublesome "ambassadors" seems like it will make for some good drama.  It will be disappointing if the show is all about the supporting cast.  They show a cleaned up version of her doing the Lilo in the promos.  Talk about expectations vs reality.

When she said Boss Bitch in the promo I was just embarrassed.  Isn't that phrase played out?

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On 1/3/2019 at 9:36 PM, hoosier80 said:

In a preview where Lindsay gives some of her sage advice, she says she's worked hard for the Lohan brand.  Exactly what is the Lohan brand?

I don't know for sure, but I bet it smells like cigarettes, sweaty hair extensions, and lotion/spray used for fake tanning....

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7 hours ago, GordonGartrelle said:

I'm not saying that she looks great but Lindsay does look about 32.

What age are the commemorators putting her at?

She looked awful a couple of years ago.  I think she looks about her age, but not as fresh faced as she could be.  I think she’s a smoker, and she’s really thin.  If she put on 10 pounds it would fill her face out and she’d have a more youthful look.  

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3 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

She looked awful a couple of years ago.  I think she looks about her age, but not as fresh faced as she could be.  I think she’s a smoker, and she’s really thin.  If she put on 10 pounds it would fill her face out and she’d have a more youthful look.  

Yes, one thing that helps as you age is a little extra weight, especially if you're fair-skinned. 

I was hoping she would talk in her weird "accent" because that was just bizarre. I don't care about the ambassadors at all; I just want to know what Lindsay's life really looks like. Maybe with the show we'll get more gossip?

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I found Brent so utterly repellant that I switched off in the middle of his screechfest "you're done! You're done! Mic drop!"

Producers, we want to see more Lindsay and Greek scenery, less of the manufactured twenty-something drama.

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So is this club basically legalized prostitution?

I watched the after show too... she has zero self awareness. She thinks she’s intelligent and hard working.... or at least she thinks she can convince people that she is. She’s not intelligent, most of what she says is word salad, she doesn’t offer any good advice, she is not insightful... she’s a caricature of what she thinks a success story would look like.

And Lindsay, please lay off of the eyeshadow and lipstick that is the same palette as your hair. Coupled with the too light foundation she wears she just looks like a corpse. The shots of her with her business partner at night where she was mostly makeup free (except some horrible joker lipstick) she looked the best.. her freckled complexion and natural coloring is SO much more flattering than the porcelain look she’s attempting to achieve and failing at miserably.. you aren’t Nicole Kidman... you spent your life in tanning beds with a cigarette in your mouth.. you can’t slather that look away with pasty white pancake.

Edited by GracieK
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Ok so I'm trying not to take this show too seriously (because I know it is fake and all of the "ambassador" storylines are probably scripted) but I was kinda surprised about the storyline about Brent (is that his name?) kissing the VIP client.

I would think that, in a post #MeToo era, MTV would not want to air a storyline where there is a clear power difference and the person in the authority position is trying (successfully) to solicit sexual favors (albeit relatively mild in this case).  Maybe it is more palatable since the VIP client is a hot chick?

Seriously trying to suspend my disbelief here but assuming this is actually how the beach club is run, how far is too far with the VIP client/"ambassador" relationship?  I'm assuming there are probably no sexual harassment resources for employees.

On a shallow note, I thought the girl with blue hair looked better with pink hair (also, probably didn't help that the DJ had such beautiful long blue hair).

Lastly, does Lindsey just hang out at a table all day?  

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So a brand ambassador is someone who “up-sells” $1500 bottles and beach chairs!  All righty then. 

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Who is this horrible sycophant on the MTV after show?  First of all, for any of us who watched the reality show that Oprah helped her with, we definitely know she’s NOT hardworking. I hated watching everyone kiss the butt of this spoiled has been but I’ll be here for every snarky comment.

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8 minutes ago, Caseysgirl said:

Who is this horrible sycophant on the MTV after show?  First of all, for any of us who watched the reality show that Oprah helped her with, we definitely know she’s NOT hardworking. I hated watching everyone kiss the butt of this spoiled has been but I’ll be here for every snarky comment.

It was Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls!

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11 hours ago, zenithwit said:

Ok so I'm trying not to take this show too seriously (because I know it is fake and all of the "ambassador" storylines are probably scripted) but I was kinda surprised about the storyline about Brent (is that his name?) kissing the VIP client.

I would think that, in a post #MeToo era, MTV would not want to air a storyline where there is a clear power difference and the person in the authority position is trying (successfully) to solicit sexual favors (albeit relatively mild in this case).  Maybe it is more palatable since the VIP client is a hot chick?

Seriously trying to suspend my disbelief here but assuming this is actually how the beach club is run, how far is too far with the VIP client/"ambassador" relationship?  I'm assuming there are probably no sexual harassment resources for employees.

On a shallow note, I thought the girl with blue hair looked better with pink hair (also, probably didn't help that the DJ had such beautiful long blue hair).

Lastly, does Lindsey just hang out at a table all day?  

I was shocked that Brent was  being instructed by Panos to do whatever it takes to keep the female  VIP client happy. 

Would Panos force one of the female Ambassadors to do the same thing for male clients? 

Thats very sketchy.

I wanted to see more of Lindsay in Mykonos.

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I wanted to check this out because her show on OWN was such a great disaster. I wanted to see if she'd managed to pull it together. But I can't sustain any interest in this. Can someone tell me if this show is actually interesting to watch with respect to Lindsay? I have no interest in a show about her staff. It sounds like 'Below Deck: Lohan/Mykonos."

 

I dvr'd the first episode but haven't watched it yet. I caught a few minutes of the after show last night, but it wasn't interesting enough to stick with. Her stiff-lipped, stiff faced reactions are off-putting. She's trying very hard to portray herself as mature and serious and not a huge mess, but she comes across as having no personality, no charisma. They talked about how Ariana Grande did "Mean Girls" in one of her music videos but didn't give Lindsay a heads-up, they talked about her dance move on instagram (in an outfit she designed herself), how she likes to sky dive and deep sea dive, and about how incredibly hard working she is. I nope'd out when they asked her to show the "famous" dance move and she said someone else on her team would do it.

 

At the moment, I'm listening to Andy Cohen interview Lindsay on Sirius. He is kissing her butt six ways from Sunday, and I'm about to turn it off. It's more about how hard working she is, what a talented actress she is, etc. I'd like to see some evidence of these attributes. Instead of being told over and over how great she is, I'd like to see it. The only moderately interesting things I've learned are the following:

(1) The new show is not about her personal life at all. It's all about her "being a boss."

(2) She has more control over the beach club show than the OWN show, because the OWN show had a director (and she claims she wasn't told about that ahead of time). The implication being that's the reason why she came off horribly.

(3) She lives in Dubai because there's no paparazzi there. The kinds of guys she likes are "smart businessmen who don't have Instagram"

(4) There are three beach clubs (the other two are in Athens and Rhodes and other seasons of the show may highlight those clubs.

(5) she has never been asked to be on Celebrity Big Brother, and would never do it if asked.

(6) She really does not like being called Lilo. Like, at all.

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MTV is promoting this show way too much.  When I'm working from home, I have the tv on in the background or when I'm trying to sleep (thanks nasty sinus infection!).  I'll turn over to MTV when it gets to the endless informercial hours on other channels.  It's nothing but ads for her show (I don't need to hear 'boss bitch' ever again) or they're playing Mean Girls, Parent Trap or some other movie LL was in years ago.

Sad story of someone who did have actual talent who pissed it all away.  She doesn't have any sort of regular family that could have tried to guide her.   She stays in Dubai because of the escorting/yachting, and it's all she's got left sadly.  No one is going to offer her acting roles again, because her more recent films were bad (and her performances were bad), plus her diva attitude and nonexistent work ethic.  Whatever they say on this show, no, she doesn't work.  At least Paris Hilton does have successful businesses.   LL is dependent upon the guy or guys she's with currently.

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“Lohan brand”, huh? Drunk, woefully uneducated, drugged-out, plastic surgically-enhanced, diva, has-been, parentally neglected, white privileged, exploited, washed-up-while-young? That “brand”? Oh...okay.

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She's just tragic. And while I usually like a good redemption story, I just can't root for her. I think she is so desperate and unappealing. I think she had very little chance in thus world given her parents, and probably her mental illnesses, but if she's going to get better, she needs to do it alone in a cabin in Idaho and never subject herself to the stresses of public life again. I'm deeply sympathetic to what appear to be her mental illnesses, but I'm not sympathetic to her refusal to deal with them. There comes an age when one, can no longer blame your shit on your parents, and two, you can no longer blame your situation on things you actively refuse to address and change. Getting better, for her, is only ever going to mean disappear from the public, divorce her horrible family, get a diagnosis and treatment, and work hard in therapy every day forever. She doesn't seem to be willing to do any of that because she loves to blame everything on something/someone else. 

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20 hours ago, xtwheeler said:

She's just tragic. And while I usually like a good redemption story, I just can't root for her. I think she is so desperate and unappealing. I think she had very little chance in thus world given her parents, and probably her mental illnesses, but if she's going to get better, she needs to do it alone in a cabin in Idaho and never subject herself to the stresses of public life again. I'm deeply sympathetic to what appear to be her mental illnesses, but I'm not sympathetic to her refusal to deal with them. There comes an age when one, can no longer blame your shit on your parents, and two, you can no longer blame your situation on things you actively refuse to address and change. Getting better, for her, is only ever going to mean disappear from the public, divorce her horrible family, get a diagnosis and treatment, and work hard in therapy every day forever. She doesn't seem to be willing to do any of that because she loves to blame everything on something/someone else. 

Very sad. Yesterday she was on Howard Stern. He asked if she was upset at not getting acting roles any longer, and is she upset when she sees someone like Emma Stone, who is comparable in age and look, getting great roles. She said yes, and she attributes it to her not living in LA anymore. When you’re not around they don’t think of you, she says. No insight or just a sad cover up. There’s a picture of LL in today’s NY Post in Page Six, where I swear she looks like a 60-year old Joan Crawford. 

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