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S01.E02: Going the Distance

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1 minute ago, DeeReynolds said:

I had a mental image of Paul and his 27 pieces of luggage weighing down a speedboat with a native guide traveling up the Amazon. I had no idea they had big ferries to travel on. You learn something new every day!

He's headed to Tonantins, Amazonas.

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YOU GET A LIKE, AND YOU GET A LIKE AND EVERYONE GETS A LIKE!

OMG!  You guys are killing me tonight.  @CofCinci (slow clap) awesome with the Chris Hansen post.

55 minutes ago, Desert Rat said:

What's Jesse's story?  Does we want a green card?  Why does he want to immigrate to the U.S.? Why Darsy?  She's old, fake, broke.  Is Jesse looking for tv exposure?

I don't know.  The Netherlands is known for their quality of life, liberal attitudes and many other qualities.  Loved when Darcy was going on and on about her near-death experience and he just shut that shit down.

Oh Sean, you are so getting played.  When she wiped the sweat of your brow and then said something of how she wants you to get sweaty that night....(sorry gotta puke)

3 hours ago, poeticlicensed said:

So Paul has never been outside the US , and he chooses the Amazon for his first trip. Not smart.

I mean seriously?  No Canada?  

52 minutes ago, Desert Rat said:

I don't know about Kentucky, but there is a female version of Paul in Sandusky, Ohio.  

Are we talking about Danielle?

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12 minutes ago, jumper sage said:

Are we talking about Danielle?

Yes, of course.  The one and only. She will be available if they can finally get to the annulment hearing.  

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I won't even agree to go to Mexico with my husband because the thought of being in a country where I can't speak the language makes me nervous. The only impressive thing about Paul is just how far he will go to get laid.

 

I loved the looks of disgust on people's faces when Sean & Abby were kissing in the airport. 

 

I can't tell yet if Jesse's feelings for Darcy are legit. Does he even want to move to america? He's different then the other 2 His day to day life is very much like ours in america,No sad story of "struggling" He has a job,friends, lives in a clean house.  What does coming to America change for him?  Doesn't seem like a user to me,yet so we will see.

Edited by Hellohappylife
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5 hours ago, Hero said:

"My $1000 shoes are ruined!" "Alright, ok. Cool." 

I've traveled all over Planet Earth.  I thank God every single day for the simple pair of black Skechers I wear while doing so.  I bought them over a decade ago and they just keep on going, going, going.

ETA: I would move to Holland in a heartbeat.

Edited by bethster2000 · Reason: thought of something else!
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7 hours ago, kacesq said:

e very distracting. I have no sympathy for her getting her heel caught in the escalator. She dressed very impractically for a flight.

Darcy wore sneakers on the flight, you can see them when she is on the first people mover aftee she gets off the plane when she talks about freshening up.

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I mean seriously?  No Canada?  

He's inadmissible due to his criminal record :  (

We've got enough creepy, criminal, weirdos of our own, thanks. 

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I'm still a little disturbed by that hair in a Kleenex scene from the previous episode? there is nothing that makes my skin crawl more than a loose hair, much less a wad pulled from a comb... Oh ick! ? 

why would she even think to do that?? If anything you would think she would want a wad of his considering the chance of something happening to him or him not coming back would be greater, and THEN she would have something to remember him by. Even then to pull a wad from their hair brush or comb would not be the first thing that came to mind.... Maybe after they went missing or Parished- Lord forbid, but not before! 

Edited by MFLEM2
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I'm fairly fluent in French, and damned if I could understand a word Mother Abby was saying.  

Google tells me Haitian French is quite similar to Parisian French, but that's like nothing I ever heard in France.  

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10 hours ago, Godfrey said:

I feel like a voyeur watching Sean moving closer and closer to Abby and repeatedly kissing her. He's so skeevy.

Yeah, and it's not that he's 46.  There are plenty of 46 year old guys I could see Abby or another 20 year old being into, for example...

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Sean is decidedly not one of them.  He's so basic and also Creepy Uncle Guy.  Everything he says is wrong.

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38 minutes ago, Quof said:

I'm fairly fluent in French, and damned if I could understand a word Mother Abby was saying.  

Google tells me Haitian French is quite similar to Parisian French, but that's like nothing I ever heard in France.  

There is a large Haitian community in my town, so much so that all the school documents are translated into both Spanish and Creole.  Creole is very different than French.

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These people are depressing me. Except for Jesse who actually seems to have a normal life. He must have an angle, I'm sure his motives will unfold in episodes to come.

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12 hours ago, poeticlicensed said:

Jesse's eyebrows are too perfect for a straight man. 

They remind me of the ones Ed Begley, Jr.'s character had to wear on Arrested Development.

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Paul putting on his netting mittens and trying to kill a bug in the cab was the funniest thing this episode. It was almost like watching a cat chase a laser light dot.

I would have to have been taken to the hospital and put on oxygen if it had turned out that the dog was alerted and suspect about mama's hair bundle. 

So Paul's got time to shop for venom extractor (which WTF?!?),  body nets, sleeping nets, ways not to have parasitic fish swim up his pee hole plus all other kinds of shit to fill 4 travel trunks (4!!!), but he can't invest in Portuguese Rosetta Stone or something? I can't imagine traveling with all that shit!

11 hours ago, hawkhd said:

I didn't expect Jesse's reaction to Darcey to be so positive.

I'm sure Darcey posted those old ass pics on her dating profile but I am sure they face timed. TLC was up to their usual chicanery.  Notice they never ever showed Jesse in any of the previews either to almost give the impression he wasn't real. 

I have to side eye a man who says he isn't too into the superficial but doesn't have a hair out of place and whose eyebrows are more perfectly sculpted them my own - and I keep my shit sculpted!!! But I did dig Jesse.  I can see why women would find him attractive but he is too overly groomed for my taste - like cristiano ronaldo. 

My first thought was that he was gay but given Amsterdam is so damn liberal, I would think he would feel comfortable being himself and proudly out. Could be bisexual though? Euro men throw my gaydar way off! 

One thing is for sure - Jesse ain't the one. He shut Darcey's whinging about her trip right up!  

11 hours ago, Hero said:

Abby saying "Chris" instead of "Sean" ??

NJLE4.gif

9 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Sounds like Jesse has a pheromone fetish. So far he seemed to like what he could sniff, but he's sniffing the been on a plane for several hours person.  

She doused herself with perfume once she landed.

Edited by islandgal140
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9 hours ago, TrininisaScorp said:

Paul and all of his luggage was fairly hysterical with the airport comedy and the drug dogs.  Seriously, though.  What the HELL is worth a 2 hours boat trip up the Amazon and being in a country where you have no idea how to communicate?

Paul's boat trip up the Amazon was not two hours; it was two days.  Given the amount of luggage he had, I am still at a loss as to how he only paid $85 in baggage fees.

Abby appeared horrified when it was pointed out that she said Chris instead of Sean.  I believe she is conning Sean. 

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I learned that you can "freshen up" in the airport by slathering yourself with makeup samples

I've not flown through Schipol, but I'm pretty you can't stop to shop, er, sample before you go through Immigration and Customs upon arrival on an international flight. 

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1 hour ago, Mercolleen said:

I learned that you can "freshen up" in the airport by slathering yourself with makeup samples.

I admit that I have gone to the duty free before an international flight or on a layover and used the perfume testers. 

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13 hours ago, Hero said:

Paul saying "boat dock" in an accent over and over again to the taxi driver ? I'm pretty sure the guy doesn't understand what you are saying. 

Dude bought all those supplies but didn't invest in a phrase book. Tsk tsk.

13 hours ago, kacesq said:

I'm trying to figure out if Abby is sincere or one of the better actresses we've had in the franchise.

i don't like Jesse. He's too smooth. But hey he bought extra toilet paper which is the way to every woman's heart.

Abby is a smart girl who is dying to get out of Haiti and is weighing her options. If she's willing to run a long con on either of the skeevy creeps who are trying to win her, I say have at it.

Jesse bought toilet paper and made a space for Darcey's panties--right next to his! So sweet. Seriously. There is something off about this guy.

 

10 hours ago, DeeReynolds said:

I had a mental image of Paul and his 27 pieces of luggage weighing down a speedboat with a native guide traveling up the Amazon. I had no idea they had big ferries to travel on. You learn something new every day!

Right? He kept saying "two day trip by boat up the Amazon" and I envisioned a dugout canoe.

9 hours ago, Hellohappylife said:

I won't even agree to go to Mexico with my husband because the thought of being in a country where I can't speak the language makes me nervous. The only impressive thing about Paul is just how far he will go to get laid.

 

 

Exactly. Its not that he can't find a woman in the US. Its that the kind of woman who would actually go out with him is not a sexy Brazilian hottie who will dance fetchingly in her undies. He's not much but he wants a quality mate. I'm prepared to believe he's an MRA/red pill enthusiast. Doesn't want an American feminazi. He wants a young, minimally educated foreign woman he can "rescue" from dire poverty.  Seriously this guy gives me the creeps. More than Sean, and that's saying something.

1 hour ago, Mercolleen said:

I learned that you can "freshen up" in the airport by slathering yourself with makeup samples.

Nothing like troweling more makeup on your sweaty, plastic face to make you really fetching. Keep it klassy, Darcey.

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I think Abby's girlfriends are much more realistic and are skeptical of Abby's intentions. What happened to her best friend who went with her to the airport?  Sean appeared and she's nowhere in sight. 

Edited by Hannigram · Reason: Wrong name. Oops.
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1 minute ago, Pepper Mostly said:

He wants a young, minimally educated foreign woman he can "rescue" from dire poverty.

This. And in exchange for having sex with him and cooking his meals, she gets a green card. This is what I find the saddest/most repellant about people who order up spouses online. At some level, they know they don't have much to offer or have personality quirks that make them undesirable, but aha, to a person from a poverty stricken country, the green card can in many cases be the incentive. It also gives the US citizen the power, or at least they think that (cue Dani and Mo) So they engage in a little cognitive dissonance and talk themselves into  believing it is a "love match".  Sad. 

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13 hours ago, Miss Chevious said:

Yeah, they're both pretending. Darcey's pretending to be young and Jesse pretending that he likes her. 

And both Jesse and his drinking buddies are beyond delusional imagining a pregnancy scenario.

You sense Jesse is already irritated with her constant talking.  He's playing the part to be on TV and to get to the US.  He probably figures she is attractive "enough" to play this out.

Darcey would LOVE that unlikely pregnancy scenario.

Abbey is SO much still hooking up with the 64 year old.  He is her fallback and most likely paying her bills now.  I'm sure he will play along with only being the EX that wants to still teach her when questioned by Sean.

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2 hours ago, Mercolleen said:

I learned that you can "freshen up" in the airport by slathering yourself with makeup samples.

I'm not going to lie --- I'm totally going to hit the duty-free stores to "freshen up" when I fly internationally. I never thought about doing that before. 

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I haven't figured out Jesse's endgame. It doesn't sound like he wants to emigrate to the US. To me, it sounds like this is a career option for him. If he can get work as a model in the US, that expands his career as a model. Darcy has a fashion line, he is a model. If nothing else, he will be getting lots of exposure via the show. I mean, how many times have we seen the shots of him in his undies? And we are only on episode 2. 

Waiting for the other couple to be introduced. 

Edited by poeticlicensed
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What's Jesse's story?  Does we want a green card?  Why does he want to immigrate to the U.S.? Why Darsy?  She's old, fake, broke.  Is Jesse looking for tv exposure?

Jesse looks like a younger/thinner/fit version of one of Rod Steward's sons, the one who went on reality tv to get sober and didn't.

i am a little perplexed by the whole relationship because Jesse's lifestyle in Amsterdam will always be better than Upstate New York.  He seems pretty well traveled and articulate (educated) he must have done his share of googling .  

Interesting that no one seems to look at the possibility that Darry is looking for a 'green card' opportunity to move to Amsterdam. She'd get the better deal.

I'm in to see this through. 

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1 hour ago, poeticlicensed said:

I haven't figured out Jesse's endgame. It doesn't sound like he wants to emigrate to the US. To me, it sounds like this is a career option for him. If he can get work as a model in the US, that expands his career as a model. Darcy has a fashion line, he is a model.

We are all assuming he wants to model in the US. Perhaps he's padding his resume to get a tv, movie, or modeling gig in Amsterdam, Paris, or elsewhere in Europe.  Perhaps he has zero interest in the US except as a stepping stone.  

Edited by Swim mom

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12 hours ago, Desert Rat said:

What's Jesse's story?  Does we want a green card?  Why does he want to immigrate to the U.S.? Why Darsy?  She's old, fake, broke.  Is Jesse looking for tv exposure?

What makes you think she's broke? Bc she lives with her sister?

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2 hours ago, Hannigram said:

I think Abby's girlfriends are much more realistic and are skeptical of Abby's intentions. What happened to her best friend who went with her to the airport?  Sean appeared and she's nowhere in sight. 

Vanessa got in the front of the pick-up and drove, if I saw correctly.

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3 hours ago, Quof said:

I've not flown through Schipol, but I'm pretty you can't stop to shop, er, sample before you go through Immigration and Customs upon arrival on an international flight. 

You can.  I'm pretty sure ive done it at LGW.. I've also done it in Oslo  and other places

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18 hours ago, Godfrey said:

Darcy is a gross cougar.

I need to watch last nights episode but she looks at good 10+ years older than she claims to be.

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8 hours ago, MFLEM2 said:

I'm still a little disturbed by that hair in a Kleenex scene from the previous episode? there is nothing that makes my skin crawl more than a loose hair, much less a wad pulled from a comb... Oh ick! ? 

why would she even think to do that?? If anything you would think she would want a wad of his considering the chance of something happening to him or him not coming back would be greater, and THEN she would have something to remember him by. Even then to pull a wad from their hair brush or comb would not be the first thing that came to mind.... Maybe after they went missing or Parished- Lord forbid, but not before! 

In general I agree.  However, I have my own 'saving mom's hair' story.  When my mom had cancer I was cutting her hair and it was when the radiation was kicking in.  It started falling out as I was combing it and was quite emotional.  I saved it in a little box in my bedroom.  Her hair never grew back (one of the rare people) and she died about 12 years ago.  So while it IS creepy, for some reason I am glad I have it.  There are people who are weird about hair.  My old salon had a client who would take all the cut bits from her hair.  She never really explained it.

Edited by Natalie68
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4 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

MRA/red pill enthusiast

what is this?

31 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

In general I agree.  However, I have my own 'saving mom's hair' story.  When my mom had cancer I was cutting her hair and it was when the radiation was kicking in.  It started falling out as I was combing it and was quite emotional.  I saved it in a little box in my bedroom.  Her hair never grew back (one of the rare people) and she died about 12 years ago.  So while it IS creepy, for some reason I am glad I have it.  There are people who are weird about hair.  My old salon had a client who would take all the cut bits from her hair.  She never really explained it.

that is so touching about your mom.  I'm sorry for your loss.  That, however, would be more like her taking a lock of his hair...just in case.  I don't get the wad in the Kleenex business at all.  

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17 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

what is this?

that is so touching about your mom.  I'm sorry for your loss.  That, however, would be more like her taking a lock of his hair...just in case.  I don't get the wad in the Kleenex business at all.  

Thank you!  I don't get the kleenex wad either. That was odd (I only saw the clip and thought WTF?).

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3 hours ago, balisticnikki said:

What makes you think she's broke? Bc she lives with her sister?

I thought I read it somewhere.  Maybe just projection because she reminds me so much of Danielle, only Darsy has her plastic surgeon on speed dial.

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15 hours ago, DeeReynolds said:

I had a mental image of Paul and his 27 pieces of luggage weighing down a speedboat with a native guide traveling up the Amazon. I had no idea they had big ferries to travel on. You learn something new every day!

I had the same image!

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1 hour ago, Granny58 said:

what is this?

that is so touching about your mom.  I'm sorry for your loss.  That, however, would be more like her taking a lock of his hair...just in case.  I don't get the wad in the Kleenex business at all.  

MRA (Men's right's activist). Basically, it's a paranoid, misogynistic and insecure type of guy who thinks that there's some type of conspiracy going on that he just learned the truth about and that the rights of men are at risk because women aren't subservient to men and want to be treated equal in society.

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Abby is a baby.  Sean is a pig thinking she's a "woman."  I believe she has set her cap for an American man and will see this repulsive affair to its inevitable end: getting married, being married for five years, and then getting the hell out.  She's young and will be free to marry or boink someone FAR more suitable before she's thirty.

Jesse is impressive: kind, articulate, generous (so far) and what is this relationship all about???  Can't wait to see who gets on who's nerves first.  Darcy has an air of entitlement so I think she is going to tire of her blond boytoy's equanimity first.  I loved those friends too, but they are DELUSIONAL if they think she will get pregnant.  I think that ship done sailed.

Paul, <sigh>, oh, in our family we'd call him "Our Poor Paul."  How in the name of God did he think he was going to handle four heavy footlockers and at least two carry-on bags by himself in a Third World country?  Did he think Karine would have manservants?  Did he not see the size of her room?  Where the blue blazes are those big boxes going to go?

And really, neither one of them speaks the other's language?  There are apps for that, aren't there?

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Did the banner Jesse bring to the airport have HIS pic on it or hers

Oh my god, I forgot about that.  He was holding a bouquet of roses, while draped in a banner with a picture of him holding roses.  The Hell? 

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19 minutes ago, Quof said:

Oh my god, I forgot about that.  He was holding a bouquet of roses, while draped in a banner with a picture of him holding roses.  The Hell? 

Maybe he was plann Ng to hang the banner so that she'd see it when she arrived, look around for him, and there he'd be, holding roses and looking like his picture. And then it didn't play out the way it did in his head. 

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1 minute ago, Tinfoil Hat said:

Maybe he was plann Ng to hang the banner so that she'd see it when she arrived, look around for him, and there he'd be, holding roses and looking like his picture. And then it didn't play out the way it did in his head. 

Or, maybe he's done this before (or he's planning for next time) and doesn't want to have to buy a new banner each time. It's much more cost effective to have one banner that can be used to welcome any skank home than have to individualize banners every time he imports someone.

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3 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

In general I agree.  However, I have my own 'saving mom's hair' story.  When my mom had cancer I was cutting her hair and it was when the radiation was kicking in.  It started falling out as I was combing it and was quite emotional.  I saved it in a little box in my bedroom.  Her hair never grew back (one of the rare people) and she died about 12 years ago.  So while it IS creepy, for some reason I am glad I have it.  There are people who are weird about hair.  My old salon had a client who would take all the cut bits from her hair.  She never really explained it.

Now that I can understand. if I had gone through that same thing with my mother I KNOW it would mean a lot to me too. I didn't think it was creepy that she gave him her hair from her comb, just really unexpected. If anything it would have made more sense for him to give her  or her request wads of his hair because he was the one about to put HIS life at risk. If something did happen to him I don't know how that wad of hair would make him feel better or maybe she wanted to give it to him because it would give him security if he was missing his mamma?? Idk, but  I just didn't understand it and they didn't explain it. 

I'm just referring to hair you may find in your food or wrapped around your toes that you have to pull off. I don't even like to touch my own loose strands.  I shed like crazy and have ruined a few nice vacuum cleaners from the strands getting tangled and wrapped in the bristles. I literally cringe when I think about it. I can't help it, but I do. 

 I can hardly think about it because losing my mother or sister would be unfathomable since my dad has already passed away :( but if it was one of Them that had passed, I would take every strand I could find of theirs and keep them, put them somewhere safe and cherish them forever... So I Can definitely understand that side of it. 

Edited by MFLEM2
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7 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Nothing like troweling more makeup on your sweaty, plastic face to make you really fetching. Keep it klassy, Darcey.

She looks dirty to me.  Personally unclean.  Skanky.

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3 hours ago, Granny58 said:

what is this?

that is so touching about your mom.  I'm sorry for your loss.  That, however, would be more like her taking a lock of his hair...just in case.  I don't get the wad in the Kleenex business at all.  

That was my exact thought

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1 hour ago, Quof said:

Oh my god, I forgot about that.  He was holding a bouquet of roses, while draped in a banner with a picture of him holding roses.  The Hell? 

That's just it, I think he's some kind of young Utopian Euro Narcissus, and he likes himself ....a lot. And his love is for others who reflect that back at him ! Watch what happens I guess it's damn entertaining. 

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2 hours ago, Lilacly said:

MRA (Men's right's activist). Basically, it's a paranoid, misogynistic and insecure type of guy who thinks that there's some type of conspiracy going on that he just learned the truth about and that the rights of men are at risk because women aren't subservient to men and want to be treated equal in society.

To add: if you want to learn more about Red Pill/MRA, Google "Red Pill dating types."  Yikes. 

51 minutes ago, Tinfoil Hat said:

Maybe he was plann Ng to hang the banner so that she'd see it when she arrived, look around for him, and there he'd be, holding roses and looking like his picture. And then it didn't play out the way it did in his head. 

She was delayed with her escalator heel for an hour.  He probably had to take the banner down at some point because of security. 

I think it has his picture on one end and her picture on the other. 

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9 minutes ago, CofCinci said:

To add: if you want to learn more about Red Pill/MRA, Google "Red Pill dating types."  Yikes. 

She was delayed with her escalator heel for an hour.  He probably had to take the banner down at some point because of security. 

I think it has his picture on one end and her picture on the other. 

I googled on private browsing because I'm not having my search history involved with that mess but these quotes sum it up better than I did,

" They feel that women have somehow gained an unfair advantage in the world, making it virtually impossible for a heterosexual, cisgendered white man to get a break. They see relationships as a fight for dominance and sex as a god-given right that’s being kept from them by women because REASONS."

"women are only of worth from the ages of 16 to 25; afterwards they hit “The Wall”. The point in a woman’s life where her ego and self-assessed view of her sexual market value exceed her actual sexual market value; the beginning of the decline. Usually occurs as a wake-up shock to women when they realize that their power over men was temporary and that their looks are fading. This usually results with first denial and then a sudden change in priority towards looking for a husband."

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I agree with the poster who says she feels yucky after an international flight. All I want is to check into a hotel and get a shower.  Since they banned smoking on planes it's not as bad as it used to be, but I don't like marinating in the same clothes for 24 hours or more...ewww!  

What I found bothersome was Darcey's conspicuous consumption with the Loubitin's and the Chanel bags and Louis Vuitton totes. I wouldn't want a guy I'd just met to know how much money I had or for that to be the attraction.  She screamed high maintenance and over the top. Even if she'd gotten them at a consignment shop, who cares, and I agree we should get to enjoy nice handbags and shoes, etc.

I too, had a thought about Paul's mom getting a lock of his hair in case some fate befell him and DNA evidence was needed for a match. Anyone so OCD and germophobic should NOT be venturing out to middle of the Amazon. 

Abby is drop dead gorgeous.  WTF was Sean doing wearing a sweater in Haiti? I get it that it was cold on the plane probably but he really looked odd.  This coupling is messed up and skeevy on so many levels.  

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I think Abby's gorgeous, and I love her accent. But I had to rewind to be sure what I heard when she said "My mother is worried I'm going to get playedbecause that's not the word I heard the first time. 

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If you saw it on the show, talk about it here.  If you saw it or read it somewhere else, take it to the appropriate thread.

Warnings will be issued.

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