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Tara Ariano

S04.E14: Tell All

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4 minutes ago, Virtually Me said:

It's amazing how hostile this show has become toward their cast members!  They treat them like shit.

The first 2 minutes of the reunion is the most honest/revealing of all the seasons.

Of course Nicole understands why Anfisa is crazy when left alone.

Edited by CofCinci
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This reunion is going to take forever if Jorge takes this long to answer all of his questions. Spit it out! She whips your ass! We already know.

What color is Chantel? She looks like an Oompa Loompa.

Edited by Brooklynista
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Alla is NOT feeling Anfisa and Jorge's idiocy.  

They (Jorge and Anfisa) think this shit is funny?  Jorge and Anfisa are a match made in hell. 

Edited by liammaam · Reason: Clarification :)
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This 'Tell All' is painful. By the time 15 mins had gone by, it already felt like an hour had passed.

Last year's 'Tell All' was glorious'.

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Just now, lallalla said:

This 'Tell All' is painful. By the time 15 mins had gone by, it already felt like an hour had passed.

Last year's 'Tell All' was glorious'.

Excruciatingly painful.  

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This host is terrible. There are four couples and she's focusing on a couple we don't really need to know anything more about.  We're not really learning ANYthing new about J&A.  Nothinggggggg.   New host please, TLC.

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Just now, ALittleShelfish said:

This host is terrible. There are four couples and she's focusing on a couple we don't really need to know anything more about.  We're not really learning ANYthing new about J&A.  Nothinggggggg.   New host please, TLC.

She really is awful. She was just as bad as reunion host for My Big Fat Fab Life.

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Chantal is very sweet. She was annoying on the show but they are both cute. 

I knew that Jorge was a lying broke ass scumbag  he doesn't deserve being physically assaulted but all of the rest - he has it coming.

Alla seems happy - good for her!

Nicole. SMH. I'm suing her for medical bills for whiplash she has ms SMFH so much.  

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Now I know why TLC put all their eggs in the Danielle and Mohammed basket - this 'Tell All' is painful to watch, and none of these people has anything interesting to say. It makes Mo and Dani' s debate about feminine hygiene issues seem like Masterpiece Theatre.

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Nicole's Mom can throw shade like Prince. Love her! 

Someone slip the domestic abuse hotline number to Jorge. Can he even sell legal weed with a criminal record? Isn't it like a liquor license? Marky Mark is STILL trying to get people to forget that he smashed that shop owners face in until he was blind sonthstbthe wahlburger joint can serve alcohol. 

Edited by spankydoll
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Pedro is totally intrigued with the Jorfe/Anfisa shit show.

Anfisa can't handle the truth. I'm guessing she thought people were just enthralled with her and found her charming . 

Edited by Cranky One
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The Tell All is excruciating.  It is so awkward and boring.  Way too much Jorge/Anfisa and Nicole/Azan.  It's more like a recap show.  Clearly, they don't have enough material for two hours. 

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This season is actually pretty sad.  Although each of them has a different personality, it's painfully obvious everyone is in this for a green card (Pedro seeming to be the possible exception).

Anfisa looks like Morticia Addams, and they clearly didn't just get a bad edit.

This tell all show is really a disaster.  They had so little material, they had to burn 10 seconds having the host tell Azan to pull his mic away from his mouth.

Edited by Standard Staples
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I think this is fascinating. The Jorge and Nicole romances are fascinating. 

I thought that Anfisa's answer to the describe your husband question was going to be idiot. 

Edited by spankydoll
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So, I'm watching the finale while also working on a writing project, and as I'm listening to Pedro I think oh shit, my Spanish, which I last studied in like 2007 or so, is still that good that I understand him perfectly!?! And then I realized dude was speaking English, and it's been a long fucking day and I might have a half a brain cell left.

This tell-all is more obnoxious and frustrating than the other ones, and maybe it's because this season has the most being lost in translation? Or at least, literally every couple - even the Americans of the duos - have less than zero charisma, and they're all really cagey or they genuinely don't understand basic questions (again, putting equal if not more blame on those who speak English as their first language as well as the foreign fiances). 

So, this whole season I've been Team Anfisa in that she is a cold-blooded monster of a filler-obsessed woman but she is incredibly straight-forward about her game and taking down an odious toad of a human being who seemed to be in this to possess and control a trophy. But in the reunion, I sort of think she's genuinely misunderstood? Like, she was making really legit points, a little defeated by her shitty, snitty attitude. But she's clearly pissed about the edit and couldn't quite articulate that that was it - it kind of got spun into "social media = bad" - and I nearly cheered when she said yes, I'm here for your money, and you're here for my titties, right? 

I think in the end I can't figure out what to think of them. Maybe this is a dom/sub kink that is being stupidly twisted into some sort of romantic and sexual relationship (like, it would be so much better for Jorge to leave this shit in the hands of a professional). Or maybe they're doing this for TV; it kind of seems like Season Three would be the tipping point where couples were getting engaged just to get cast. Or maybe Jorge really is as pathetic as he seems? Honestly, if it's option number three then he might qualify for a Britney Spears or Amanda Bynes style conservatorship, because his judgement is fuuuucked to a disordered degree. 

Alla is the only person in this entire season that I liked. I call bullshit on her saying she didn't know anyone who married just for a green card - they met on one of those dating/letter-writing sites, right? Even if they didn't, I really doubt she doesn't know at least one woman who has been on one - but otherwise I thought she was very poised and kind. It almost tugged on my heartstrings to see her and Anfisa having their conversation in Russian; once she was free of the language barrier, suddenly her emotions came out, and while a lot of it was overly generous towards Anfisa I thought it was really great of her.

I wish I remembered her name, it's floated right out of my head - again, I processed Pedro's English as Spanish and was awed at my sudden, miraculous fluency, it's not my night - but the hostess's cleavage really distracted me. I don't want to body-shame here; it was the choice of an intense push-up bra that bugged me, not her shape itself. If the cleave makes her feel pretty, great, but if I were really petite and had small breasts, I would wear deep necklines and cutouts without mashing the girls together, showing off a swath of sternum. I just couldn't stop staring at her neckline!

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13 minutes ago, Northernlights said:

Was there ever the chair throwing scene that was advertised at the beginning of the season with Matt and Alla?  Did I really miss that??

I was just thinking that!  I don't recall that, either- other than the previews.  Also... where was Narkiya?  Just because they didn't end up together, she was left out of the tell-all?  

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Holy cow was that awkward!  I felt bad for Anfisa towards the end.  

As an aside, if she wants money she should sue the doctor who did her breast implants - they look awful, and I bet they feel worse. 

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14 minutes ago, Snewtsie said:

Why oh why are there so many coffee tables on the reunion set?

I noticed that, too!  I was also wondering why there were "books" on them, like it was meant to create an intelligent atmosphere.

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1 hour ago, Standard Staples said:

This season is actually pretty sad.  Although each of them has a different personality, it's painfully obvious everyone is in this for a green card (Pedro seeming to be the possible exception).

Anfisa looks like Morticia Addams, and they clearly didn't just get a bad edit.

This tell all show is really a disaster.  They had so little material, they had to burn 10 seconds having the host tell Azan to pull his mic away from his mouth.

I disagree that they are all in it for a green card.

Moscow is not exactly a third world country.  I see affection between Anfisa and Jorge.  I doubt she was looking for a green card.

Similarly, I don't think Alla married Matt for a green card.  I think she is happy to be in the US, but I get the impression she didn't marry the first American man she met.

I think there could have been a lot on the tell all.  The interviewer is not great.  Had they had a better one, the segment could have been very lively.

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1 minute ago, Virtually Me said:

I noticed that, too!  I was also wondering why there were "books" on them, like it was meant to create an intelligent atmosphere.

Maybe the books are there in case Anfisa and Jorge feel the need to start throwing things, and the coffee tables are there so the other couples can prop them sideways and use them as shields.

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Well, that's two hours of my life (I'm including the fast forwarding) that I'll never get back. Just some random thoughts about the whole evening...

The host was almost nonchalant when she said, "Unfortunately, Narkyia and Lowo couldn't be with us tonight..." HUH? I think they owe the viewers more of an explanation than that! Why did they start the season late and also not appear at the reunion? Narkyia's son was adorable but I couldn't help but think his hair looked like a swatch of shag carpet on his head. And for goodness sake, get that boy a "Big Brother." I'm sure nearby Harrisburg has a chapter. 

Anfisa's white makeup and black dress really did make her look like Morticia Addams. Her white wedding dress made me think she was joining some kind of cult. Thanks to whoever identified those pipes in Jorge's car as grow lights. I'm just naive about these things. I suspect the reasons for their big arguments that Anfisa wouldn't talk about have something to do with his pot growing and or smoking. I call bullshit on her not having rings. We saw Jorge pick out and PAY CASH for the engagement ring and the saleswoman told him it would be ready for pick up "tomorrow." Are we supposed to believe he just left it there and never went back? And I saw them exchange wedding rings at the courthouse. Were they rentals or something? 

Chantel looked wild eyed! Despite her claims, I don't see one ounce of improvement in Pedro's English. If anything, I thought her Spanish has improved! 

Nicole talking about maturity? And I loved Robbalee's comments that echoed everything that people have been saying about Nicole all season. I'll bet Azan was relieved when the live video feed went down. 

Alla was still the most sincere and likable for me all season, even though I think Matt is a doofus. I actually teared up when she explained things to Anfisa in their native language. 

I know I'll be tossing and turning tonight and thinking of all the things I meant to say here...Back in the morning! 

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The Tell All.   Only ten minutes in I felt an obligation to apologize to others watching with me, followed by an offer to change the channel.    Delighting in my unease, nobody availed themselves of the remote.

It was pretty terrible.    It confirmed my suspicion that this show seeks out people with low IQs and zero self esteem.  Nothing is less interesting than a room full of stupid people.

Edited by millennium
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2 minutes ago, millennium said:

The Tell All.   Only ten minutes in I felt an obligation to apologize to others in the room, followed by an offer to change the channel.    Delighting in my unease, nobody availed themselves of the remote.

It was pretty terrible.    It confirmed my suspicion that this show seeks out people with low IQs and zero self esteem.  Nothing is less interesting than a room full of stupid people.

Worth repeating.

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51 minutes ago, millennium said:

I felt like an utter failure as I sat watching that shit on my TV.   Horrified that the sum of all my experiences, my education, my years on this planet had made me a witness to this.   Had I been standing on the edge of a precipice, I do believe I would have leaned in.

I'll join you in your pit of self loathing and disgust.

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1 hour ago, steff13 said:

Holy cow was that awkward!  I felt bad for Anfisa towards the end.  

As an aside, if she wants money she should sue the doctor who did her breast implants - they look awful, and I bet they feel worse. 

We were saying the same thing. They're like 90s bolt ons with the huge space in between.  Not an expensive job.

There were also times I was unsure whether or not Jorge and Anfisa were doing put ons and acting crazy to get more air time.

I don't know what this says about me, but probably nothing very good.

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I've got some questions for all of you:

Do you love me?  Do you?  Do you?  How much do you love me?  How much?  HOW MUCH?  Do you love me *this much*?  Do you? 

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29 minutes ago, bethster2000 said:

Do you love me?  Do you?  Do you?  How much do you love me?  How much?  HOW MUCH?  Do you love me *this much*?  Do you? 

followed by child-like giggle into her chubby fists. I was expecting her to stretch her arms out "sooooooooo much" 

Edited by magemaud
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