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OnceSane

S05.E01: Eggs on Ice

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After performing on ``Dancing With the Stars,'' Kim suffers from a stroke which leads to major heart surgery; as a result of her ordeal, Kim makes a decision to add to her family of six.

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45 minutes ago, Bronzedog said:I thought Kim grew up in Connecticut.  How could she have never seen snow on her car before?

That bitch is a chronic liar.  She's lied so much, for so long, that it's now second nature to her.  I refuse to watch this show.  Like the Kartrashians and the Duggars, I absolutely refuse to aid in keeping these famewhores on TV.

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2 hours ago, Bronzedog said:

I thought Kim grew up in Connecticut.  How could she have never seen snow on her car before?

Not to defend her but I was thinking she meant in Atlanta; she's never seen snow on her car in Atlanta. 

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2 hours ago, farmgal4 said:

That bitch is a chronic liar.  She's lied so much, for so long, that it's now second nature to her.  I refuse to watch this show.  Like the Kartrashians and the Duggars, I absolutely refuse to aid in keeping these famewhores on TV.

I agree. I couldn't watch an entire episode and removed it from my DVR lineup. That uglyass wig she had on her head during her THs looked like she'd pulled it out of a dumpster somewhere in the dregs.

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I freaking love this show and am so glad it's back! Nothing gets me to laugh like these people. Mainly, I am watching for Brielle. Her stupidity knows no bounds. And, while that gives me some fear for the future of the human race, it also gives me plenty of snark. 

I loved when she said that KJ was probably smarter than her. PROBABLY? Oh, there's no doubt about it. A turnip is smarter than her. But now that's going to be a running joke for me all season. Whenever she doesn't know something, I'll assume KJ does. I bet KJ knows who Susan B Anthony is (not just "some bitch in history"). I bet KJ knows that your eggs come from your ovaries, not your vagina.

Kim is all worried about Brielle having sex. That ship has sailed. Maybe if you'd had sex talks with your daughter.....but I'm sure she didn't. Not detailed ones anyway, as evidenced by Brielle's misconception that the vagina is just this large section of the woman's body that handles are her various functions. She pees from her vagina. Makes eggs in her vagina. Grows babies in her vagina. Just no. 

Personally, I think the 7th baby thing is just for storyline and to fuck with people. Troy had a vasectomy. They're done. 

And, while I generally watch for Brielle, I'm now hooked on Kai. Girl is BRINGING it. She doesn't even need to speak. Just keep slaying people with those eyes.  

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Why is Brielle wearing ten pounds of makeup?  Gabrielle, when you have more makeup on than your mother, and your mother is KIM Z, you have a problem.  And the dark lip was too much for casually hanging out with the family.

Kai's death stare was a thing of beauty!  She definitely has her own way.

I have to admit I laughed when Kim whined back at whichever kid whined at her in the previews.  I've done that.

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5 hours ago, ghoulina said:

I freaking love this show and am so glad it's back! Nothing gets me to laugh like these people.

I'm with you.  They are such a fun & freaky family.  But then, I always liked Kim & thought she was funny as hell.

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When I saw these people.....who are still babies.....looking like a couple of miniature full grown lumberjacks, I knew I couldn't turn away.    That family ain't never finna run outta money, KJ and Cash are part of the starting defensive line up of the 2036 Chicago Bears.   That girl know how to grow up a baby though don't she?  #cornbread

Baby sideye is gonna wind up on Dateline.   She's adorable, dead serious n' all.  

Can we get together and think up some career choices Brielle might have that don't involve reading or punctuality or basic common knowledge?  She needs our help poor baby. 

Kimberly??  listen to mawmaw, there isn't gonna be a Kreed a Kary a Kristen, a Kaleb nor nobody else coming to the stage.   3 of each is a set.   Bless Kroy's heart for not smooth going off even if production told him the suggestion was in the script. 

I would love for her to wear her real hair and a trowel full less makeup.   She has never looked younger or prettier than that shot of her in the hospital bed.   I said to myself I never noticed how cute a nose she has till just now! lol.

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I hope they are not seriously thinking of any more kids. Do they think that something has happened and they need to re-populate the world!

And Brielle wow, what a sad commentary on our education system!

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12 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

Brielle could be a greeter at Wal-mart. Then she could see all the people who still find a point to living after 60. 

bwahaaaaaaaaa!!!  Girl I fastblinked at the tv.  I was like let me find a nearby cliff or something because 50 is rightdamnhere

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42 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

Can we get together and think up some career choices Brielle might have that don't involve reading or punctuality or basic common knowledge?

Politician.

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I was talking back to the TV the entire episode. I may have set some kind of record for using the phrase "Bitch, please."

I loved listening to Kim Zolciak yap about how she was getting pregnant again after having a stroke at 37 and what she termed as "serious heart surgery". Bitch, please. There isn't a doctor on the planet that would sign off on that bullshit. When the doc told Kroy that they'd go in with a needle and get some sperm to fertilize Kim's harvested eggs (Bitch, please. Do you know how eggs are removed to be frozen? Again, there is no doctor on the planet that would prescribe the necessary hormones to make that happen with your health history) I was yelling at the TV. Speaking of health history: You smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish and can't figure out why this happened? It should hurt to be so goddamn stupid!

They have six healthy kids. Maybe they should pay attention to those kids (that she allegedly has two nannies for) instead of making more!

How much plastic surgery has she had since last season? Her mouth is different. Her nose is different. Bitch, please! That thing on her head, though, never changes. 

Brielle. OMG. I didn't think it was possible to be that stupid. Has she gotten more stupid since the last season? 

KIM ZOLCIAK PAID TO HAVE A FOUR-YEAR-OLD'S PALM READ. Think about that. My favorite part was the fact she insisted the palm reader was "never wrong", while seconds later she insisted that the palm reader "doesn't know everything". I believe my husband repossessed the remote at that point.

BITCH, PLEASE.

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20 minutes ago, Missy Vixen said:

How much plastic surgery has she had since last season? Her mouth is different. Her nose is different. Bitch, please! That thing on her head, though, never changes

She definitely appeared to have more work done. This may sound weird, but I think she's trying to look like Brielle. They already had a resemblance, but my word.....she looks more and more like her, to me. Troy, in his THs, looked really puffy and bland. 

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I mentioned in another thread that I've seen Kim and Kroy up close. Her nose is almost translucent, not the same color as the rest of her face. Michael Jackson territory, y'all. 

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think up some career choices Brielle might have that don't involve reading or punctuality or basic common knowledge?  

I see a stripper pole in her future...or porn.

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18 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

I see a stripper pole in her future...or porn.

I hope not. She actually seems to be a kid with decent values, although she's sure to have observed the fine art of gold-digging from her mother. My feeling is that she's playing her "dimwit" side up a bit for the cameras in hopes she'll have a "Chicken of the Sea" moment a la Jessica Simpson.

Edited by RedHawk
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Sad to say but I'm thinking Kaia will be the one to go on the pole, based on personality alone at this point. Good luck controlling a girl you're encouraging to be a "diva", Kim. 

Her older sisters will get an ok start in adulthood thanks to Kroy's money. Kim will have wasted it all by the time the twins are 10. 

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Sad to say but I'm thinking Kaia will be the one to go on the pole, based on personality alone at this point. Good luck controlling a girl you're encouraging to be a "diva", Kim. 

Kim should ask Rose if she should keep Kaia away from a girl named "Milania" from New Jersey ... 

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She definitely appeared to have more work done. This may sound weird, but I think she's trying to look like Brielle. They already had a resemblance, but my word...

Damn right she is ! That new sculptured ski slope nose. The one that she lied to Andy about  2 weeks ago on WWHL when he said that was the question the show was most getting asked to ask her. Puhleeze !

There's a creepiness there. As Brielle comes into her "prime" young adulthood, at age 19, and looks so pretty (even without those new puffed up lips) Kim is noticing and longing for her youth as she is aging. It's a weird sort of Freudian competitiveness.  

Edited by Bossa Nova
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