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Favorite Quotes: Oh, I'd wear clown makeup if I thought it'd get me a conviction.

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Okay. I liked when, in an episode, Lennie once threw shade on...I think New Hampshire:

 

"Ah, New Hampshire. I spent a year there one weekend."

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"Ryder should have popped off his mother and told her where to get off."

"Are you the expert on lousy moms?"

"As a matter of fact, I am."

Me: hee. It was said so matter of factly!

"Blood is Thicker"

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Thanks to insomnia, I'm on a roll tonight!

 

Mike: "You know, before the Academy, the only gun I'd ever shot was a Daisy-a BB gun.  My Old Man would let me shoot a stack of newspapers in the basement.  So of course, one day I wing a pigeon, right? He flips out...throws the gun in an incinerator, makes me bring the damn bird to the vet in a shoebox on the bus-"

 

Phil: "Ha ha!"

 

Mike: "To this day... I hate pigeons. They're rats with wings."

 

"Trust"

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Mike: "It was me, I'd have the operation anyway." (takes a bite out of cold pizza!)

 

VanBuren: "Oh really? You have anything you'd think twice about cutting off?"

 

VanBuren and Brisco smirk as Mike pauses to think.

 

VanBuren: "Seventh grade. What's the first thing you notice about little Susie sitting across the aisle?"

 

Mike: "Come on! I was 13 years old!"

 

Lenny: "Oh, and everything's changed since then, right?"

 

*******************************************************************************

 

Jack: "Haas tells one patient she's got a cure, it's a little white lie, she tells two patients, it's unforgivable; she tells three patients, she's a murderer! She tells four patients, she's a damn murderer! And it's all admissable!"

 

"Second Opinion"
 

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Mike: "Come on! I was 13 years old!"

 

Lenny: "Oh, and everything's changed since then, right?"

 

On a related note:

 

Rey: "I don't remember everything being so rosy when I was a kid."

Lennie: "Oh, yeah? When was that, last week?"

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Cleary, the Elder: "All right, Mr. Stone, I'm a businessman. I've made deals before. What are you offering."

 

Stone: "I'm not a businessman, Mr. Cleary. I'm offering you nothing."

 

Me: Oh, Burrrrrrn!

 

"The Corporate Veil"

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Stone: "I learned the hard way, for a good deal to be good, there has to be equal consideration, and there is no way you can cough up enough consideration to justify a deal for him."

 

Melnick: "Why?"

 

Robinette (retrieves a huge stack of folders): "54 women you either, raped, molested or abused."

 

Stone: "In the future, Sir, stay off the evening news."

 

Melnick, who looks like she just swallowed a grapefruit and swallowed crow: "Okay Ben, what do you want?"

 

Stone: "In a perfect world, I'd like to see your client locked in a room for a week with these women.  But I'll settle for seeing him spend the rest of his life in jail."

 

Me: Further proof why Ben Stone TOTALLY ROCKS!

 

"Helpless"

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Adam Schiff: " 'The truth is ugly, so we put our prophets in prison'."

 

Ben Stone: "Oscar Wilde?"

Adam Schiff: "Charles Manson."

 

Me: Which is fitting, because Frances Fisher also always looks like she could stab a bitch.

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Schiff: "Manuel Ortega's mother...fell out of a window."

 

Robinette: "What about the little girl?"

 

Schiff: "She was picke up at school by her uncle."

 

Stone: "She doesn't have an uncle."

 

Me: chills down to the bone.

 

"Prince of Darkness"

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"Put it back. Exactly where you found it."

 

"Your beeper not workin'?"

 

"What I was doing, I didn't use a beeper.  Usual treatment of a crime scene, Corrillo? You stirring it with a stick? Hey, Hey! Before you stomp all over the evidence into the pavement, can I see a diagram?"

 

"Hey, is Briscoe your new partner?"

 

"It's temporary."

 

"You Hope."

 

 Me: Lennie!!!!!!

 

"Point of View"

Edited by GHScorpiosRule

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Killer: "You got no probable cause!"

 

Logan as he slaps on the cuffs "You're probably guilty. You have the right to remain silent..."

 

"Jurisdiction"

 

**********************************************************************

 

Stone: "She uses an out-of-date prison library and her work is better than anything I've seen from a Wall Street law firm."

 

Schiff: "The Truth is Ugly, so we put our prophets in prison."

 

Stone: "Oscar Wilde?"

 

Schiff: "Charles Manson."

 

"Animal Instinct"

 

***************************************************************************

 

Cragen: "Where did you get his service record?"

 

Logan: "A leprachaun brought it."

 

"Manhood."

 

************************************************************************

 

Logan: "Are you saying another cop whacked him?"

 

Cragen: "My 14-year old plays 'Spin the Bottle' on a computer. I'm telling you anything's possible."

 

Logan: "So we just step aside and let internal affairs get into it, huh? Heh."

 

Cragen: "They would like to do that, but I can tell them to take a hike.  Now listen. Here's a list of the people we're looking at at the 1-5. Any of those names come up in connection with Marino, you let me know.  And Mikey, this could get hot and heavy. So you keep that famous temper of yours in your pocket, huh?  See you."

*****************************************************************************************

 

Logan: "Was I supposed to get up in court and put another bullet through Billy's head?"

 

Cragen: "Well good. You're off the hook, so long as long as nobody asks you the question."

 

Logan: "Maybe I won't remember.  Krolinsky goes to prison, I wouldn't exactly cry about it, Don."

 

Cragen: "So... you might as well toss that badge of yours in the garbage."

 

Logan (laughs): "Thanks for the help."

 

Cragen: "I'm not gonna run the teacher, Mike. You do what you gotta do.  I'm just telling you you don't owe Billy Marino a thing."

 

Logan: "Oh the hell I don't. When he tried to recruit me that day, you know what I did? I decked him.  Instead of running to the nearest cop.  The other week when he called me, I had a feeling what it was about.  You know..." (sighs) "I did the same thing I've been doing for 25 years...I avoided the subject.  I couldn't handle it."

************************************************************************************

 

McCoy: "You're an adult. Your victims are children. There's nothing you could say that would make me feel sorry for you."

 

Krolinsky: "Please, I have a family..."

 

McCoy: "I feel sorry for them."

 

**************************************************************************

 

Logan to Krolinsky: "We called you 'Father'. How could you do that to us? You even did it to your own kid! How could you do that?" 

 

"Bad Faith"

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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Stone: "Why don't we just take the gloves off, allright? And stop behaving like advocates."

 

Green: "He killed a man.  That's a crime. Hell, maybe it's even a sin.  But he was provoked."

 

Stone: "Do you really believe that? That he was provoked by a couple hundred hooligans?"

 

Green: "By a couple centuries of hate.  Between you and me, Ben, as a Black woman, I'm ashamed of what happened on that street."

 

Stone: "Are you? You have a hell of a way of showing it."

 

Green: "You don't get it, do you? I DON'T want that to happen again."

 

Stone: "No, you don't get it. By infantilizing your own people, you are guaranteeing that it will happen again."

 

Green: "After all these years, you really had me fooled.  I had no idea that your sort of liberalism only came out of the closet when it was fashionable."

 

Stone: "Shambala...just once, I want somebody to stand up in this country and say 'I did it.  I'm responsible for my actions.  Not my television set and not the color of my skin.'  And if it makes you feel good, to call me a racist...fine.  But if you're looking for who's responsible for racism these days, take a good look in the mirror."

 

Me: Wow. Amazing. Gave me chills.

 

*********************************************************

 

Stone: "Mr. Roberts...do you regret killing Mr. DeSantis?"

 

Isaac: "Sure. I don't wanna see anybody dead."

 

Stone: "What about Mr. Berger? The man who killed Damon Fox."

 

Isaac: "A little kid gets run down in the street. And nothin' happens to the guy who did it.  What if it was some white kid on Park Avenue and the car was driven by a Brother?"

 

Stone: "But it wasn't. It was a Jewish businessman up in Harlem. He's walking the streets. And you could go to prison... for the rest of your life."

 

Isaac: "What else is new? They own the banks, the buildings. A Jew snaps his finger, and everyone comes running."

 

Stone: "Now is that what you were thinking about when you saw Mr. DeSantis?"

 

Isaac: "I don't know.  Maybe."

 

Stone (smiling conspiratorially): "Come on...you wanted revenge.  Right?"

 

Isaac: "You're damn straight I did!"

 

Stone: "So.  I guess there is something you remember about the attack after all.  No more questions."

 

"Sanctuary"

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Because I love everything Mike has to say about his "old lady" and "old man." This one, about his mother.  Hee!

 

Mike: "Yeah. Clean them up. Feed them. And then fill their heads with religious garbage."

 

Lennie: "you so sure it's garbage?"

 

Mike: "Listen, my old lady had a rosary in her left hand, while she beat the crap out of me with her right.  Next time I go to church, six of my closest buddies will be carrying me."

 

"Apocrypha"

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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Hoover (to Logan and Greevy): "Dressed in a suit...Mean-looking...like Donald Trump."

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!

The description was of Pilefsky, goon who worked for Mafia Don Frank Massucci.

"The Torrents of Greed" Part I.

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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Sadly, I don't remember the episode name right now (I'm pretty sure it at least had Connie in it, if not both Connie & Mike Cutter) but I loved when Jack said, after a case started blowing up in their faces, "Now I know why Adam (or Adam Schiff, the full name) was always so grumpy."

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Gunshow

Lennie: This merchandise was used to kill 15 innocent people.

Guy: Oh, wait. This is the central park thing. Oh, shoot.

Lennie: Oh, shoot?

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Mayhem (Season 4 episode 17) is my absolute favorite L&O episode, and it has several good lines, but the best is from a woman who has just castrated her husband and refuses to tell the police where she's put his penis:

 

"Why don't you call that tramp Connie Bucci up? She likes it so much, let her sniff it out. Dogs can do that you know?"

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Lennie and Ed go to a car wash where the guy they are sure is the perp is working.

The perp gives them chase through the car wash long enough for everyone to get soaked and then slips and falls, allowing Ed to nab him.

As Ed handcuffs the perp, Lennie opens his blazer and asks the perp:

"Does this look like it's wash and wear?"

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"Missing"

Coroner notices Serena uncomfortable seeing a dead body.

Coroner: First time?

Serena: I came over from Civil Investigations.

Coroner: You get used to the smell.

Ed: No, you don't.

Ed and Lennie talks to police computer expert on missing intern's computer.

Tech Guy: Is this girl a gambler? Spends a lot of time on online casinos.

Lennie: Job research.

Ed: Ooh, I gotta remember that one.

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cop: "...but the doctor says he has massive internal bleeding, and he did an ultrasound before they took him off to surgery."

 

Greevy: "And?"

 

Cop: "And somebody took out his kidney."

 

Greevy: raises eyebrows.

 

Mike: stops writing, looks up. "Talk about getting your pocket picked."

 

Me: snort. And feeling guilty for such. Gallow humor?

 

*******************************************************************************

 

Mike: "Do you know how many lives have been saved because of organ donations?"

 

Max: "I don't see you in line giving anything away."

 

Mike: "I got the sticker on my license. Personally, I think it should be automatic. Otherwise they'd give you a sticker that says you can't give your organs.  My old man wouldn't be alive today if he hadn't been given a new ticker."

 

Me: Mike So SEXAY whenever he says "my old man."

 

What?

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Defense Lawyer Patton: "What's it going to take to make you happy, Stone?"

 

Stone: "The Mets in the Series, Peace on Earth, and Dr. Reberty in Danamorra."

 

*********

 

Reberty: "All right. I want a deal."

 

Stone: "A deal requires mutual consideration, doctor. You've got nothing that interests me."

 

Reberty the slime: "Sure I have. I've got Woodleigh."

 

"Sonata for a Solo Organ"

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************************************************************************************

 

McCoy: "You're an adult. Your victims are children. There's nothing you could say that would make me feel sorry for you."

 

 

This is one of my favorite quotes from McCoy and from the series overall. Whenever I hear a story of abuse and other crimes in any form to a child by an adult, I think and often say this quote to others who make excuses for the adult.

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"Self Defense"

Cragen: "Well what about his story, does it walk and talk?"
Cerreta: "With a limp and an accent"

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Some of my favorite Lennie quotes!

Law and Order -- source for some of the quotes

Just gotta love Jerry Orbach  !!

Conduct Unbecoming

Navy Lawyer: Our common goal is punishing a criminal... The military moves to a much quicker beat.
Lennie: You know, Lieutenant, I never had much of a sense of rhythm. 


Mother Love

(Making an arrest)
OK. Sing along with me Skate. You know the words. You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...


Progenitor

Lab Technician: It's a photocopy from a machine with dirt on the drums... If you get me the machine and it hasn't been serviced, I can maybe do a positive I.D.
Lennie: Oh, great. We'll organize a line-up of Xerox machines. 


Purple Heart

Mike (looking at a jar found in a discarded jacket): Kinda looks like Silly Putty.
Lennie: Great. We look for a gigantic first grader.

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Couples Season 13

Beat cop, Ed and Lennie are walking down a path in a park.

Cop: Do you know Nelson?
Ed: Who doesn't?

Cop: He's the first officer on the scene. He drinks a whole thermos of coffee before EMS show. When they finally get here, he's uncomfortable if you catch my drift.

Lennie: What, are we in the third grade?

Cop: He comes over to these bushes to take care of business. Imagine his surprise when he looks down.

Ed, Lennie and Cop see a dead woman lying on the ground. Ed starts to approach the lady when Lennie holds him back.

Lennie: Whoa, Ed. Did he see the body before or after he did his business?

 

Ed leaves the interrogation room of a woman who repeatedly ran over her husband with her car.

Ed: Ooh, that woman is crazy.

Anita: At least she can't deny it.

Ed: Yeah, but she's using some German philosopher that nobody has ever heard of to justify it.

Anita: This I gotta see.

Ed: And my Mama asking me why I'm not married.

 

Lennie and Ed are driving with a drunk perp in the backseat.

Lennie: From what I've been told, at least I was a happy drunk.

Ed: From what I've been told, I wouldn't go that far.

Perp: Stop the car. You gotta stop the car now.

Ed: Give me one good reason.

Perp: I'm gonna throw up.

Lennie: Good reason.

 

Lennie and Ed are waiting for the perp to come out of the gas station restroom. Perp vomits loudly.

Ed: Still no memories?

Lennie: It does sound familiar.

Perp comes out of restroom. Ed touches perp arm to cuff him again and notices vomit on the perp

Ed: Damn, Rafael! Don't you look!

 

Lennie talks to Anita about Rafeal when Ed comes in

Ed: Hannah Mayer, didn't make it to work today.

Anita: Good for her. Who?

Ed: That's the name of the  business card we found in the ladies room at the gas station.

Lennie: Would it be too much to ask for her to be home in bed with the flu?

 

The perp Rafael has a panic attack and claims his brother killed his wife and he's coming to kill him.

Lennie: I can't say I blame his brother. I know Rafael for less than a day and I'm ready to kill him.

 

The lady, Ms. Porrazo who ran over her husband multiple times appears before the judge for bail recommendation.

Serena: The defendant killed her husband, Your Honor.

Defense Attorney: She ran him over four times with her car.

Judge: I admire her restraint.

Ms. Porrazo: Dom is dead and I did it. I knew exactly what I was doing.

Judge: I'm not suppose to express personal opinions but I have to say, Ms. Porrazo, you make me proud to be an American.

Ms. Porrazo: Thank you.

Judge: Cheating on you, was he?

Ms. Porrazo: Yeah, but I could live with that. I could live with his perversions, but I won't go under the knife for anyone. :points to her breasts: These were good enough when we got married.

 

Ed and Lennie approaches a woman tied to Rafael's case.

Ed: Hey, Patricia.

Patricia turns and punches Ed in his stomach

Ed: Damn, woman!

 

Ed, Lennie and New Jersey PD arrive at the home where a pregnant Hannah Mayer is held by her kidnapper. The kidnapper opens the door and usher them upstairs where they hear Hannah screaming. They see Hannah on the bed in labor.

Lennie: You ever do this before?
Ed: Hey, man. You're the one with kids.

Lennie removes his jacket.

Lennie: All right. Bring me some clean towels and boil some water.

Ed: Doctors really do that?

Lennie: George Clooney does. That's good enough for me.

 

Ed and Lennie are at their desk, ready to call it a day.

Ed: Three murders and a baby. If you drank, I'd buy you a beer.

Lennie: Hey, I drink seltzer and I'm buying.

Phone rings at Ed's desk.

Lennie: No law says you have to answer that.

 

Ed and Lennie are ready to call it a night again when Ed's cell phone rings.

Ed: Oh, no. Where? Damn.

Lennie: What?

Ed: We got a jumper.

Lennie: I may join him.

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9 minutes ago, Arcadiasw said:

Ed: We got a jumper.

Lennie: I may join him.

God, I miss Jerry Orbach. And Lennie.

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2 hours ago, AntiBeeSpray said:

Me too. Closet we have now is Fin. Munch was good too.

That reminds me. From one of the H:LOTS crossovers, which sort of counts.

Al Giardello: "Look, John, I appreciate your feelings about Briscoe sleeping with Gwen, but the man is a fellow police officer. If he called wanting to know where to find the best funnel cakes in Boston, we'd be obliged to tell him."

John: "All right, all right. But how do you know Briscoe slept with Gwen?"

Al: "How do you know I didn't sleep with her?"

Munch looking over the rims of his glasses made me LMAO.

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"Born Bad" from Season Four

Lennie and Mike enters a seedy strip club. Mike sees a young boy dancing on stage.

Mike: Kid's not old enough to be in here.

Lennie: I'm not old enough to be in here.

Mike approaches a bartender.

Mike: We're looking for Clyde.

Bartender gestures to the back.

Lennie: Mike, don't touch anything.

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From "Who Let the Dogs Out", when Lennie and Ed find where the dogs were being being 'trained' and killed:

Lennie: "Put your hands behind your back, you're under arrest."
Perp: "For what?"
Ed (holding a nasty looking muzzle): "For being a sick bastard, now shut your mouth before I put one of these things on you."

Lennie and Ed were my favorite law pairing. 

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Random, but is it weird that I was both annoyed and upset that Melissa Leo played one of the lawyers that were helping the guy sell the dogs and knew they were dangerous? I know that at that point the Mothership was long past doing crossovers with Homicide: Life on the Streets, but it was such an unwanted (by me, anyway) juxtaposition that I can never watch that episode without being irrationally aggravated.

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On Saturday, May 21, 2016 at 0:27 PM, DXD526 said:

From "Who Let the Dogs Out", when Lennie and Ed find where the dogs were being being 'trained' and killed:

Lennie: "Put your hands behind your back, you're under arrest."
Perp: "For what?"
Ed (holding a nasty looking muzzle): "For being a sick bastard, now shut your mouth before I put one of these things on you."

Lennie and Ed were my favorite law pairing. 

I always felt Ed respected Lennie and his experience more than Rey did. 

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24 minutes ago, Arcadiasw said:

I always felt Ed respected Lennie and his experience more than Rey did. 

Me too. I mean, Rey openly admitted he'd checked Lennie out & knew about him being a recovering alcoholic. That's his right, of course; especially in a job, like being a cop, where your partner really needs to be able to have your back &, if necessary, be clearheaded enough to save your life in a split second. Lennie's history of alcoholism could put that in doubt (in that mess, during Jamie's season as ADA, with the corrupt cop, Lennie admitted he was drunk on the job at least once) ; Rey was just covering his ass--especially since he was married with 3 young daughters. Having said all that, it might've been better if Rey had been more discreet & he'd kept having checked Lennie out to himself.

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Ed and Lenny is my #1 team, followed by Ed and Jeremy Sisto's character (why am I drawing a blank?  I've watched every episode a kazillion times!).  I like Logan, I just don't love him.  We also saw Ed and Lenny together for longer.   I am laughing now thinking of the epic side-eye both Green and Van Buren gave detective beauty queen on her first case.  She was literally the worst.  

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Seems like maybe we should have a fav teams thread.
If someone agrees, we can message the mod to move the related posts there.

FWIW: I think young Logan was hot, but I never warmed up to his personality.
Lenny for the win.

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School Daze:

Jack: "Detective, I had just told them we had to cut Semple loose because of your screw-up. I wasn't about to let them know they knew more than we did."

Lennie: "Any time you think you can do my job better than me, let me know."

 

Jamie: "Someone had better remind her of her ethical obligations as a prosecutor."
 

Abbie: "You mean the one that says I should prosecute someone I think is guilty?"

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Bait:

Defense Lawyer: "Kevin felt responsible for putting his friend in harm's way. He was scared. He was confused. Not to mention he was damn near killed by these animals."

Abbie: "And he didn't want his parents knowing that he was a speed freak, it's very touching."

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I can't remember the name of the episode, but 2 kids, one from a wealthy family and the other working-class, killed someone; I think it was a teacher. The police interview them separately, and Logan says to the working-class kid (I think his name is Colin) that the rich kid is goin to put the whole thing on him, so he'd better talk. This kid says something that still stays with me:

"I don't care what he does;  do what  do"

Stupid, in the context of what he was facing, but dammit, that's a motto for life!

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On July 2, 2016 at 5:41 PM, spaceytraci1208 said:

I can't remember the name of the episode, but 2 kids, one from a wealthy family and the other working-class, killed someone; I think it was a teacher. The police interview them separately, and Logan says to the working-class kid (I think his name is Colin) that the rich kid is goin to put the whole thing on him, so he'd better talk. This kid says something that still stays with me:

"I don't care what he does;  do what  do"

Stupid, in the context of what he was facing, but dammit, that's a motto for life!

Love that episode. It's called 'Wannabe.'

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2 hours ago, Spartan Girl said:

You know who DOES deserve sympathy for her marriage ending? Marie Greevey. Married a great guy like Max only to wind up helplessly watching him be gunned down.

Mike: "Max is dead. I accept that. But....I'll never accept it. Y'know?"

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On 5/25/2016 at 5:51 PM, shapeshifter said:

Seems like maybe we should have a fav teams thread.
If someone agrees, we can message the mod to move the related posts there.

FWIW: I think young Logan was hot, but I never warmed up to his personality.
Lenny for the win.

Why so?  Too cold?  Too rough?

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“Barter”

 

Jack, Lennie, Rey, Perp (Enrique) and Enrique’s lawyer are in the interrogation room. Jack, Lennie and Rey are pressuring Enrique to confess to the killings he did for loan shark Sam Russo.

 

Enrique: I want to go home.

Jack: Starting tonight, home is a 4x10 cell.

Enrique: You can’t do that. I have bail.

Jack: We’re re-arresting you for the murder of Jason Waxman. This time I guarantee you won’t get bail.

Enrique: (agitated) I gotta go home.

Rey: Better listen to your lawyer, Enrique.

Lennie: You don’t talk. You will NEVER go home.

Enrique grabs his chest: Oh, God. Oh, God.

 

Jack and Lennie help Enrique lie down and Rey leaves to get E.M.S.

 

Enrique’s lawyer: Who knows C.P.R?

 

Lennie looks at Jack.

 

Lennie: After you.

 

I think if the camera was on Sam Waterson a second longer we would’ve saw him laughing.

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Suspect: "I don't know nothin' about nothin'."

Lennie: "Yeah, we know. Because if you did know anything about anything, you would know that keeping a weapon in your apartment is a parole violation."

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