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S05.E08: Six Persians Walk Into a Bar

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MJ faces fallout from her splintering relationship with Tommy after returning from Palm Springs, Cal.  Meanwhile, Reza delves into stand-up comedy, with the gang rallying together for his debut performance.  Also: Mike tries to win his wife back.

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Adam playing with the stuffed animal on the couch while the madness went on around him kind of made me fall in love with him a little bit.

And I think we all already knew Reza wasn't funny....

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Reza's stand-up was exactly what we all knew it would be: racist stereotypes, gold chains, and the words bitch and muthafucker sprinkled liberally throughout. I'd almost feel bad for him if he weren't such a delusional narcissist. He's getting high on his own supply. Reza thinks that because he's managed to make a living by being occasionally funny and mostly mean and nasty, that he can pull this shit off full time. Nah uh Reza joon.

I'm not going into Reza's invitations. That nonsense was tacky and the opposite of funny.

What is up with these folks constantly throwing food or spraying champagne when they celebrate? 

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I only saw the last 15 minutes or so, but I suspect it was mostly Bravo's insistence that got the painfully unfunny Reeza on that stage. Weird how the only people in that spares crowd were his friends, eh? OK, I found it terribly amusing that they mispronounced his name when they announced him.

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MJ, if someone says they don't want their personal life discussed, then zip it.  Period.  Not your decision, not your business.

Reza, you're not funny.  Even if you had any talent, most stand up comedians hone their skills for years.  No way would I have invited friends for my first time on stage, let alone have it filmed.  Yep, narcissism at it finest.  He thought he'd be a hit right off the bat.  As GG said, it was painful. 

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I'm down for anything that makes Reza look like the repulsive, no-talent, egomaniac he is.  And let me add delusional and ugly.

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What is it with these people's inability to not make a mess wherever they go? I am sure the Improv owners appreciated them spraying that cheap ass champagne all over everything, including the contents of that bookshelf.

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Reza's idea of comedy is insulting and cursing at the audience. That's a unique way to win people over.  Only Don Rickles gets away with that routine, but he is actually funny, so there's that. 

So over the food fights on this show.

Shades of mommy dearest coming from MJ.  Hmmm. 

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3 hours ago, Ubiquitous said:

What is it with these people's inability to not make a mess wherever they go? I am sure the Improv owners appreciated them spraying that cheap ass champagne all over everything, including the contents of that bookshelf.

OMG!  I thought the same thing.  The book, not the books.

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Wow, you know this season-so-far has been a big dose of Bizarro World when GG makes sense and I feel sorry for Jessica (of course, the preview for next week has pretty much assured that *that* will go away soon enough).

Oh, Tommy!  I like you; I do; and I hope you two crazy kids can make it.  MJ: Just STOP.  TALKING.

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9 hours ago, Bronzedog said:

I really wonder what Adam sees in Reza.  He's just so repulsive.

At this point, it's either Reza is his sugar daddy or he wants to be on TV. Adam seems difference since I last saw him. Did he get a beard?

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Tommy is pretty perceptive about how MJ's parents' marriage and Mike's marriage ending is making MJ panic. She's taking Mike's divorce personally when it has nothing to do with her.

Reza's standup was garbage, but that was to be expected.

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That was just sad....Reza never get near a stage again. I would be more then pissed off if I opened my door and some guy shot silly string all over me. I loved Mike and his "Take that shit with you" and making him take the silly string off his floor. (Although it's really Reza who should have come over and cleaned it) and I loved GG with the knife (!) at the door. Notice she didn't get covered in that crap? HAHAHAHA

STOP throwing cake and spraying champagne. Low class.

MJ it's NONE of your business who's splitting up. Yeah we all gossip but not 5 feet from the person we're talking about! Clueless they name is MJ.

I swear to heaven if Reza starts with the RA that GG has is fake I will scream so loud they will hear me on the west coast. Just......NO. That's been done to death of shows way more popular then your little show and nobody wants to hear it. GG has an actual disease not some made up crap like Yolanda and her kiddies. And she's had TH's where she (quite eloquently) explains the pain and WHY she trys alternative treatments like the salt baths. And didn't I hear her say the RA has moved to her heart? Serious crap.

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11 hours ago, Bronzedog said:

I really wonder what Adam sees in Reza.  He's just so repulsive.

Maybe the ability to pull out cash to feed a caviar vending machine?

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Quote

At this point, it's either Reza is his sugar daddy or he wants to be on TV. Adam seems difference since I last saw him. Did he get a beard?

 

Well he must want to be on TV because some blogger

Spoiler

is claiming Reza filed for bankruptcy in the past couple of weeks.

 

Reza sucks so any humiliation and failure he gets is fine by me.

 

Quote

I would be more then pissed off if I opened my door and some guy shot silly string all over me.

You notice dude didn't shoot silly string on GG.  That's because he saw her knife.

Edited by drivethroo
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35 minutes ago, eurekagirl mOo said:

That was just sad....Reza never get near a stage again. I would be more then pissed off if I opened my door and some guy shot silly string all over me. I loved Mike and his "Take that shit with you" and making him take the silly string off his floor. (Although it's really Reza who should have come over and cleaned it) and I loved GG with the knife (!) at the door. Notice she didn't get covered in that crap? HAHAHAHA

STOP throwing cake and spraying champagne. Low class.

MJ it's NONE of your business who's splitting up. Yeah we all gossip but not 5 feet from the person we're talking about! Clueless they name is MJ.

I swear to heaven if Reza starts with the RA that GG has is fake I will scream so loud they will hear me on the west coast. Just......NO. That's been done to death of shows way more popular then your little show and nobody wants to hear it. GG has an actual disease not some made up crap like Yolanda and her kiddies. And she's had TH's where she (quite eloquently) explains the pain and WHY she trys alternative treatments like the salt baths. And didn't I hear her say the RA has moved to her heart? Serious crap.

Yes, as a nurse I have taken care of patients who have died from the disease. It is no joke. The disease on its own is devastating but the drugs to keep it at bay, have horrible side effects too.

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3 hours ago, bosawks said:

Who knew that "Fuck you, you stupid motherfuckas!" isn't intrinsically amusing.....

...and that Asians...excuse me... Chinese people have small eyes and can't see. OMG how is that not even remotely knee-slappingly hilarious? I wish I was there so I could throw tomatoes at Reza's face. Beady-eyed, fat bastard. Lunell lowered herself by even speaking to that fool. Who gasses Reza's head up? Seriously, is it Andy? Dude is not charming or funny. He's not even occasionally unintentionally amusing like one of the ditzy housewives. He's a straight up asshole.

MJ, furiously vacuuming like a mad woman reminded me of Magda when she accidentally took those pills in Something About Mary. Let's hope Tommy doesn't get into a knock down drag out fight with one of her chihuahuas. 

Edited by charmed1
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15 hours ago, hoosier80 said:

MJ, if someone says they don't want their personal life discussed, then zip it.  Period.  Not your decision, not your business.

Reza, you're not funny.  Even if you had any talent, most stand up comedians hone their skills for years.  No way would I have invited friends for my first time on stage, let alone have it filmed.  Yep, narcissism at it finest.  He thought he'd be a hit right off the bat.  As GG said, it was painful. 

GG's TH about Reza's "comedy" routine gave me life!  I could not stop laughing.

"It hurt my heart…*cutaway*…and my eyes…and my ears."

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Oh, Reza, shut up. Professing how happy and in love you are (how many times last night).  It wasn't too long ago you practically stood Adam up at the alter, and constantly complained about what a boring dud he was in the bedroom. Now he's the man of your dreams. 

MJ honey, you really don't know how old you are? Your telling Tommy you are 40-41 when your birthdate tells us you are 44. She is so full of shit. 

I don't even care about Mike and Jessica. 

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3 hours ago, drivethroo said:

 

Well he must want to be on TV because some blogger

  Hide contents

is claiming Reza filed for bankruptcy in the past couple of weeks.

Reza sucks so any humiliation and failure he gets is fine by me.

BHAHAHAHAHAHA! I know it's not nice to laugh at people's misfortunes, but for Reza I will make an exception.

2 hours ago, trimthatfat said:

I'm beginning to think that Adam is probably very much Reza off-camera.

Now that you mentioned it, that might be what I am sensing at some level.

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Re: Reza's standup - What was the fake drawl he put on the whole time? He reminds me of (too many) gay men who think they're a ~sassy~ black woman on the inside. And that racist + sexist comment on about Asian women at the end? Fuck off, seriously. After watching his standup, I realized that I was making a stank face the entire time. 

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6 hours ago, trimthatfat said:

Tommy is pretty perceptive about how MJ's parents' marriage and Mike's marriage ending is making MJ panic. She's taking Mike's divorce personally when it has nothing to do with her.

I agree with this.  I wondered too why MJ cared so much about what Mike was doing.  The way she is, she'll run Tommy off, and I won't blame him. 

Reza's stand-up sucked, he thinks he's funny but he really isn't. 

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22 hours ago, FanOfTheFans said:

Reza's idea of comedy is insulting and cursing at the audience. That's a unique way to win people over.  Only Don Rickles gets away with that routine, but he is actually funny, so there's that. 

So over the food fights on this show.

Shades of mommy dearest coming from MJ.  Hmmm. 

You beat me to it. Reza is no Don Rickles. Everybody is fair game for Rickles and it's take no prisoners.  Reza if they aren't laughing don't insult them and make them go from pity to pissed off.

MJ STFU! Tommy get out while you can. If she treats you like this before marriage it will be much worse after.

Edited by Giselle
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23 hours ago, Ubiquitous said:

What is it with these people's inability to not make a mess wherever they go? I am sure the Improv owners appreciated them spraying that cheap ass champagne all over everything, including the contents of that bookshelf.

Send Reza or Bravo the bill he invited those animals. Just like the yacht that Shervin had the party on, if the thrown red Velvet cake dye stained the teak or furnishings send a bill for replacement, repair or cleaning.

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MJ is horrible. She deserves to end up like her mother. I'm glad Tommy stands up to her. 

Really pissed about them going at GG for her disease. I have a chronic illness and I'm not OK with questioning people's diagnoses. Find another production driven storyline. 

This show is going to get canceled. 

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8 hours ago, missy jo said:

Really pissed about them going at GG for her disease. I have a chronic illness and I'm not OK with questioning people's diagnoses. Find another production driven storyline. 

Of course Reza is the one to stir that shit up. Such a good, caring friend he is. He needs to get punched in his mustache. 

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Isn't Reza always the one who does this crap? I remember him stirring shit up about MJ and GG but cannot recall if he did it to the others.

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On 6/6/2016 at 1:45 PM, bichonblitz said:

MJ honey, you really don't know how old you are? Your telling Tommy you are 40-41 when your birthdate tells us you are 44. She is so full of shit. 

 

I think it was last season that MJ first went to the fertility doctor, he asked her how old she was, she mumbled something, and he said something like, 'uh, really? MJ, we went to HS together'. MJ needs to give it up and stop lying about her age.

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On ‎6‎/‎7‎/‎2016 at 6:03 AM, bichonblitz said:

Of course Reza is the one to stir that shit up. Such a good, caring friend he is. He needs to get punched in his mustache. 

One day he will smart off or stir up enough crap to the one person who will punch his ticket or take him to court.

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On ‎6‎/‎7‎/‎2016 at 0:06 AM, terminalpreppy said:

as you guys have said - oh, another bravo show with a questionable disease? really?!!!! erghhhh!!!!!

I love Asa, but i cannot help but laugh out loud at her ridiculous TH outfits!! I mean where does she purchase such crazy garb??!!!

Speaking of crazy outfits, what the hell was MJ wearing at the party? Good lord, put it all away girl, for the love of pete! And does Tommy ever speak, or just yell everything he says? My ears bleed every time he opens his mouth.

I have wondered how much of her jewelry is fake and which investor got the diamond from her Diamond Water fiasco.

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Anyone know why we never see Asas love life? And we only see the love life of the other cast members of this show?????

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Asa's "boyfriend" was on one time when she was "recording" her album. He is one of the Jackson family nephews. Forgive all the air quotes.

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I wonder if she is still dating this guy.

I have never ever heard her speak about her own love life in this show. The only thing she speak about is her parents, her background, businesses and about her co stars ect. We see all the cast dating and going out ect, but we never see Asa date or go out or even speak about love... :-)

Was curious why the rest of the cast is talking about their love lives, while i havnt heard anything about Asas.

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13 hours ago, Amelieee said:

I wonder if she is still dating this guy.

I have never ever heard her speak about her own love life in this show. The only thing she speak about is her parents, her background, businesses and about her co stars ect. We see all the cast dating and going out ect, but we never see Asa date or go out or even speak about love... :-)

Was curious why the rest of the cast is talking about their love lives, while i havnt heard anything about Asas.

Maybe Asa wants her relationship to survive, and that's more likely to happen if she keeps it off reality tv.

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IIRC, back in Season 1, Asa mentioned that she did have a BF who was part of a famous family and, here my recall gets fuzzy, it was either she or he who wanted their relationship kept off the show out of respect for his family's privacy.

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Asa dates/lives with Jermain Jackson's son, I believe? Longtime relationship, obviously; I have no idea what he does, but she maintained very strongly after disclosing the relationship in S2 that she requires complete privacy with her relationships. Sorta reminds me of Cameron on "Southern Charm" who won't film with her husband, but even Cameron mentions her hubby while Asa won't even discuss her man on camera.

Kinda weird how tight-lipped she is about her Jackson beau otherwise...I assume they're still going strong because she's been seen on social media recently hanging out with members of the Jackson family, even celebrating Latoya's recent birthday with her, so there you go.

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Her boyfriend, Jermaine Jackson, Jr., was on the show during an episode of the first season. They went to go visit Quincy Jones' grandson back when Asa's storyline was making music or whatever the hell she calls it. Back when she had her original ass. I recognized him immediately because he portrayed his father in the Jacksons biopic. He's one of Jermaine's original kids that he had with Hazel Gordy, Berry Gordy's daughter, and not one of the unfortunate cousin/sibling offspring  that Jermaine made with his brother Randy's woman. 

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12 hours ago, gunderda said:

Someone posted recently somewhere that they are still dating. 

That was me and yes she is still with Jermaine Jackson Jr and going strong.

She's super close to his family and he's v private - plus she seen what publicity has done to his family and relationships on bravo so they keep it off the show. I actually think she has a really good heart and interesting personality, and awesome body, so he's a lucky guy. 

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