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ProudMary

Quotes: "Speak of the Me"

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It occurs to me that we don't have a thread for Lucifer quotes.  That definitely needs to be remedied!  I'll start with a couple of my favorites, then step back and let everyone else have at it.  

From "Sweet Kicks" (S01, E05)
Lucifer:  Well, come on gorgeous.  You tell me your most dangerous desire.
Runway Model:  Cheeseburger! 

From "Pops" (S01, E10)
Drunk Chloe:  We weren't even back together and he ended it with me tonight, with a text.  I mean what are we, in high school?
Lucifer:  Well, we're certainly drinking like we are.

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There is so much quotable on the show. More than half of what Lucifer says is quotable!!

Lucifer: I'll go willingly. Please, just take me back to hell.
Amenadiel: No.
Lucifer: You don't want to take me back to Hell? The one bloody thing you wanted this entire time? Did I punch you in your head too hard?

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Amenadiel: How did you even find me. Maze?
Maze: Followed the sweet stench of failure.

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Lucifer: For your penance? Ten bloody mary's and a good shag.

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Dr. Martin: Have you ever considered that all of this excessive partying is your attempt to fill a void?
Lucifer: Attempt? I filled five voids last night.

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Amenadiel: Are you sure you don't want to chase after her? Maybe I can ask Father for some rain to make it a moment.

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Dr. Martin: You are his fallen angel, but here's the thing. When angels fall, they also rise. All you have to do is embrace all that you are.
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Dr. Martin: You keep trying on many hats to hide your horns: playboy, cop, club owner.
Lucifer: Yes, but your forgot all things tongue related.

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Lucifer: I am amazed at the deferential respect you people have for rotting flesh.

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Amenadiel: You are a mockery of everything divine.
Lucifer: Thank you. Thank you, but lately I've been thinking. Do you think I'm the Devil because I'm inherently evil, or just because dear ol' dad decided I was?

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Great topic! 

As much as I love the humor on this show, this one always gets to me:

Lucifer: I don't know if this is all part of the plan or if you can even hear me. But if you're out there-- Dad, I need a favor. I'll be the son that you always wanted me to be. I'll do as you ask, go where you want me to. In exchange, all I ask is that you protect Chloe. 

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There are so many quotable lines. This is hard!

 

Chloe: Now's not the time for your... Lucifer-ness (I think it was in Wingman)

 

Trixie: My name's Beatrice but everyone calls me Trixie.

Lucifer: That's a hookers name! ---Pilot

 

Chloe: Do you have any idea how dickish you sound?

Lucifer: No. ---Pilot

 

Dr Martin: You keep clinging to these ridiculous metaphors; Heaven, Nell, Angel, Demon..

Amenadiel: Actually that's...

Lucifer: You don't want to pick that fight.  ---Take Me Back To Hell.

 

Chloe: There are many reasons to commit murder. Don't let your... Daddy issues... Cloud your judgement.  ---Pops

 

(Voice yelling Oh God) Lucifer: And dear old Dad strikes again! It's oh God this, oh God that! He pops up everywhere and ruins my favorite things!

Chloe :I'd hate to be in your head!---- Pops

 

Father Frank: God has a plan.

Lucifer: Yeah. I know. But why does everyone assume it's a good plan?!

 

Lucifer (to "Dad): If nobody can win than what's the point? What's the bloody point?! 

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Trixie: What's your name?
Lucifer: Lucifer.
Trixie: (whispers) Like the devil?
Lucifer: Exactly.

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Chloe: What was in there?
Lucifer: My angel wings.
Chloe: (laugh)
Lucifer: Come on. Get it all out.
Chloe: (laugh) Okay, seriously, what was in there? (giggle) Oh, you are serious? Oh. Okay, sorry. Did someone (snort) make them for you, or are you big into cosplay?
Lucifer: You're enjoying this, aren't you?

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Lucifer: I love LA. Even the homeless have an IMDb page.
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Lucifer: The Devil does indeed wear Prada.

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Dan: We have one mission, to find out who knew the dead girls. And remember, we're undercover, okay?

Lucifer: As if you could look like anything other than a cop.

Dan: I do not look like a cop!

Amenadiel (totally deadpan): Cop.

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" I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but, so help me Dad."- Lucifer.

"As much as I'd like to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Douche I actually want to win this. I was pointing at Maze." -Lucifer

" Apologize your ass off before she blows that up next time." -Linda to Amenadiel about Maze.

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Maze: "I know that look.  Chloe gives it to me when I throw the dishes in the trash instead of washing them."

Suspect: "I'm sorry my cookies aren't gluten and dairy free, Debbie!"

Lucifer: "This time I'll actually take you to your real school." (to Trixie after their ruse was discovered)

Chloe: "Don't do that..." (after Maze slaps her on the butt for the Nth time)

Edited by Lugal
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Trixie:  "Do you want to sell this or not?" (When Lucifer is reluctant to hold her hand at the school)

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Ella: That family is bonkers.

 

Audience member: A zookeeper with a pregnant giraffe!

Amenadiel: How can I kill my own father!

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Lucifer: Oh!  Love me a lolly.

Trixie: Sorry.  Wussies don't get any.

(Trixie/Maze exploding fist-bump)

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From "They're Back Arent They?" 

Josh (fake kidnapper hirer) I thought you weren't real cops. I mean a guy who calls himsel Lucifer and the girl from Hottub Hotel.

Lucifer: Highschool! Hottub Highschool! she wasn't  in the sequel!

Josh: Sorry. Anyway can you blame me?!

 

The guy made a valid point and Luci's annoyed correction plus Chloe's annoyed face made it delightful. 

Edited by Gigi43
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from "Mr. and Mrs. Mazikeen Smith"


Trixie:  "Then why do you look so worried about Maze?"
Chloe:  "I'm not worried about Maze.  I'm worried about Canada."


Chloe (to Lucifer):  "So you're the reason Canada is in danger?"


Linda:  "Did the bullet go all the way through?"
*Maze digs her finger into the bullet hole and causes Rivers agony*
Maze:  "Nope.  Its still in there."


Maze:  "Oh, I almost forgot.  Miss Alien.  Sorry about that, but she kinda got a bit dirty."
Trixie:  "Whoa!  Is that blood?"
Maze:  "Yeah."
Trixie:  "Awesome!"

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from "Welcome Back, Charlotte Richards"


Ella:  What a horrible way to go.
Lucifer:  Quite so.  Drowning in a big vat of semen.
Chloe:  Its pudding.
Lucifer:  Well yes, I've had it referred to as that before.

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