SeenYouWitKieffah 251 October 19, 2014 When the Simpsons get a pool and Bart falls out of the tree: Milhouse: Nelson, uh, I think he's really hurt. His leg's probably broken. Nelson: I SAID, "Ha, ha." In a tone of voice as if he'd done something helpful 1 Share this post Link to post
Iboatedhere 810 October 24, 2014 Marge: Kids, tell me when your father stops scratching himself....kids? Bart: We'll tell ya, mom. Homer: By the time Bart's 18 we're gonna control the world. We're China, right? Marge: Lisa, I know a song that might cheer you up. There once was an ugly duckling... Lisa: So you think I'm ugly? Marge: No, no, no. I meant you were one of the good looking ducks....that makes fun of the ugly ones. Homer: There once was rapping tomato. That's right I said rapping tomato. He rapped all day from April to May and also guess what it was me. Share this post Link to post
Brandi Maxxxx 828 October 24, 2014 Homer: Son, your mother makes a very loud point. 1 Share this post Link to post
VillaVillekulla 216 October 26, 2014 They re-aired Homerpalooza yesterday and it reminded me of this awesome line, with young(ish) Grandpa talking to young Homer in a flashback: "I used to be with it. Then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it,' and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you!" 6 Share this post Link to post
dusang 2.8k October 26, 2014 They re-aired Homerpalooza yesterday and it reminded me of this awesome line, with young(ish) Grandpa talking to young Homer in a flashback: "I used to be with it. Then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it,' and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you!" I think of that line daily... in reference to myself. 6 Share this post Link to post
kariyaki 11.6k October 28, 2014 Bart, about having to sleep in the same beds as Patty and Selma: I'm scared, Lisa. Lisa: You think you know fear? Well, I'VE seen them NAKED. 1 Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 October 28, 2014 From a "Treehouse of Horror," Frink's zombie father (Jerry Lewis) at the Nobel Prize ceremony: "I'm gonna go smorgasbord on these poindexters!" Share this post Link to post
Iboatedhere 810 October 31, 2014 MargaretMontgomery, Lisa The Greek. "We must consider.....many things....the wind...." "D'oh! Not the wind!" "Is blowing out of the West at.....5..." "Miles per hour?" "Knots." Share this post Link to post
M. Darcy 5.6k October 31, 2014 what's the episode where Homer calls a recorded phoneline to get tips from a tv sports host and the person on the other end says words like Cincinnati very slowly so Homer has to stay on the line longer and it costs more? Lisa the Greek 1 Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 November 2, 2014 Marge: "Quick--someone perform CPR!" Homer: " 'I see a bad moon rising. . . .' " Marge: "That's CCR!" 4 Share this post Link to post
M. Darcy 5.6k November 4, 2014 On this Election Day - "Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others". 5 Share this post Link to post
BatmanBeatles 1.6k November 4, 2014 "We'll vote for a third party!" "Go ahead, throw away your vote!" Homer: Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos. Edited November 4, 2014 by BatmanBeatles 3 Share this post Link to post
kariyaki 11.6k November 4, 2014 "Election in November, election in November..." "What? Again? This stupid country..." 3 Share this post Link to post
M. Darcy 5.6k November 4, 2014 And the best one of all - I've said it before and I'll say it again: Democracy simply doesn't work. 3 Share this post Link to post
Brandi Maxxxx 828 November 4, 2014 "It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED!" 2 Share this post Link to post
Iboatedhere 810 November 4, 2014 "But tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!" 7 Share this post Link to post
BatmanBeatles 1.6k November 4, 2014 Marge: That's Clinton for you. Always with the smooth talk. Share this post Link to post
kariyaki 11.6k November 5, 2014 There's always the classic democratic quote: "Hey, if you don't like it, go to Russia." 2 Share this post Link to post
Iboatedhere 810 November 5, 2014 "Oh my God! The dead have risen and they're voting Republican." 1 Share this post Link to post
Iboatedhere 810 November 18, 2014 Marge: Now that's what I call break neck speed. Bart: Mom, a man just died. Lenny: I hate guys that just push buttons all day. Carl: You just push buttons all day. Lenny: You know, ever since Obama came in you just got all the answers don't you? Bart: I'm done working. Working is for chumps. Homer: I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that. Homer: If I find out who this is I'll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran! Share this post Link to post
dusang 2.8k November 18, 2014 Marge: Now that's what I call break neck speed. Bart: Mom, a man just died. I have no idea what the context was for that but it made me laugh out loud. 1 Share this post Link to post
Brandi Maxxxx 828 November 19, 2014 They were watching a McBain movie. 2 Share this post Link to post
dusang 2.8k November 27, 2014 Can anyone tell me where exactly the line "Why now? Why not ten years ago?" came from? I feel like it was "The Critic" speaking to McBain about his retirement. Am I hallucinating? Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 November 30, 2014 Lisa: "You're a latter-day Clarence Darrow!" Lionel Hutz: "Was he the black guy on The Mod Squad?" 1 Share this post Link to post
Iboatedhere 810 December 1, 2014 Ray Patterson: You know, I'm not much on speeches but it's so gratifying to leave you wallowing in the mess you've made- you're screwed. Thank you, bye. Lisa: You know the Chinese use the same word for crisis that they do for opportunity? Homer: Yes. Crisitunity! Ralph: Do you want a hint? Lisa: I don't need a hint, Ralph. Ralph: But you're suffering! 1 Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 December 6, 2014 Moe (reading Team of Rivals at Bookacino's): "I ain't never paid for Doris Kearns Goodwin in my life, and I ain't gonna start now!" Share this post Link to post
Iboatedhere 810 December 12, 2014 Homer: Before I show you who wants to guess how I got the money? Bart: Dealing drugs? Lisa: Drugs. Marge: I'll have to say drugs, too. Homer: Close but you're way off. Homer: Oh lord, protect this rocket house and all that dwell in the rocket house. Homer: No one man can do all that. You're a liar, honey. A dirty, rotten, liar. Bart: Ding, dong, ditch means you kill her than you throw that ding dong into a ditch. Bart: Did you know the holes only natural enemy is the pile? Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 December 13, 2014 Homer: "Sorry, son. I didn't know you, Jay Leno, and a monkey were bathing a clown." 3 Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 December 20, 2014 Marge: "Fine! I admit it, you nipple Nazis: I give my baby formula!" Hipster father to Homer: "You've transformed a slaughterhouse into a place of violence!" Share this post Link to post
Iboatedhere 810 December 23, 2014 Bart: Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know...the birth of Santa. Marge (singing): Christmas is a family day. Homer: I told Grandpa we'd be away. Lisa: He's at the door. Bart: Let's hit the floor. All: 'Cause Christmas Eve is here. Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 December 24, 2014 Mayor Quimby: "That sweater is gorgeous! I'll take one in wife size and three in mistress size." 1 Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 December 24, 2014 Marge: "There's no shame in being a pariah!" Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 January 1, 2015 Krusty: "Kid, you're the best thing that's happened to this business since--" Lisa: "Mitzi Gaynor?" Krusty: "I was gonna say 'cheap Korean animation,' but sure." Edited January 2, 2015 by honeywest 2 Share this post Link to post
BatmanBeatles 1.6k January 2, 2015 Homer: What if we picked the wrong religion? Every week we're just making God madder and madder. 3 Share this post Link to post
Driad 3.9k January 2, 2015 Apu's citizenship test: Proctor: All right, here’s your last question. What was the cause of the Civil War?Apu: Actually, there were numerous causes. Aside from the obvious schism between the abolitionists and the anti-abolitionists, there were economic factors, both domestic and inter–Proctor: Wait, wait… just say slavery.Apu: Slavery it is, sir. Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 January 3, 2015 Homer: "I didn't lie! I made up fiction with my mouth!" Share this post Link to post
JTMacc99 7.8k January 6, 2015 Right now I'm thinking about another meeting... 1 Share this post Link to post
dusang 2.8k January 8, 2015 There's a franchising expo in town this weekend -- hearing the ad on the radio brought so many quotes to my head!! Helen: Hmm, Pita. Well, I don't know about food from the Middle East. Isn't that whole area a little iffy?Hostess: Hey, I'm no geographer. You and I -- why don't we call it pocket bread, huh?Maude: Umm, what's tahini?Hostess: Flavor sauce.Edna: And falafel?Hostess: Crunch patties.Helen: So, we'd be selling foreign...Hostess: Specialty foods. Here, try a Ben Franklin. Although, to be honest I could really go for a pretzel right about now. 1 Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 January 10, 2015 Homer: "Ooh, I don't like the sound of that funeral march." Skinner: "Are you adequately prepared to rock?" Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 January 13, 2015 Homer: "But Marge! I was a political prisoner!" Marge: "Oh, for God's sake. How were you a political prisoner?" Homer: "I kicked a giant robot in the butt! Do I have to draw you a picture?" 1 Share this post Link to post
charmed1 13.6k March 13, 2015 Bart, who is advocating for a baby brother: "My dad said I'm one Uday who does not need a Qusay." 1 Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 March 15, 2015 Ned: "Homer, please don't sue the church! I'm asking you as your friend and neighbor!" Homer: "Can I borrow your pen to sign this deposition?" Ned: "Okily-dokily!" Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 March 15, 2015 Homer: "When I look at you, all I see are the foibles that drive your women crazy! Foibles! Foibles! Foibles!" Share this post Link to post
Iboatedhere 810 March 18, 2015 Homer: Bart was strangely quiet. Later he explained that he was confused by feelings of respect for me. Homer: Isn't there a pound where you can pick up cheap ponies that ran away from home? Bart: Mom, you can hug me while I'm asleep. Marge: I do. Bart: Ahhhhh! 2 Share this post Link to post
JTMacc99 7.8k March 18, 2015 Random great one from season 25: Homer: My lifestyle is my retirement plan. Heh. I hear you on that one Homer. 2 Share this post Link to post
BatmanBeatles 1.6k March 22, 2015 Marge: Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me again. Homer: That's not the way she tells it. 5 Share this post Link to post
honeywest 872 April 19, 2015 Homer: "Good things don't end in 'eum.' They end in 'mania' or 'eria.' " 1 Share this post Link to post
Fex 1.3k April 25, 2015 Grampa: "I couldn't quite put my finger on it. There was something strange about the way he walked, much more vertical than usual." From the catburglar episode. Actually, I love Grampa's whole explanation of figuring out who it was. I always think "for sneaking" after saying the word sneakers! 3 Share this post Link to post