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Rhondinella

MASH

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BJ: He's been in Oklahoma for 30 years.

HAWKEYE: Once you're in a road company that long, it's hard to get back to Broadway.

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Trying to capture the injured horse that was spotted by helicopter...

Hawkeye: Does anyone know anything about horses?

BJ: I stepped in some manure once.

Hawkeye: You're in charge.

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Later with that same horse (now Colonel Potter's Sophie) needs a "cleaning out":

 

Hawkeye: "I'm not a veterinarian!"

BJ: "You're a veteran."

Hawkeye: "Close enough for jazz."

 

I use "close enough for jazz" in my accounting job more often than my coworkers probably would like.

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"It's nice to be nice to the nice!" -- Frank Burns

 

"I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish! I've eaten so much fish, I'm ready to grow gills! I've eaten so much liver, I can only make love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions" -- Hawkeye

 

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One of my favorite episodes was the one when Col. Potter got a letter from an attorney, and he went into a very solemn mood. Everyone was trying to figure out why he was depressed, and trying to figure out a way to help/comfort him.

When he calls everyone into his quarters, and explains that he is the lone survivor of his group of friends from WWI. He has the bottle of wine that they saved. 

Such a touching episode.

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He had one beer in the officers club. Klinger was sitting there talking to him and he was acting drunk already, even though he was only half way done with one beer.

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That reminds me of another time when he's talking about Mildred: "She couldn't be more tickled if she swallowed a feather-duster."

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Drunk Potter re:  his lack of prowess with a gun:  "I couldn't hit a bullet with the side of a barn!' 

 

Margaret:  Hang up, Frank

Frank:  No, you hang up first. 

Margaret:  Oh, Frank that's so High School. 

Frank;  Hang up on the count of three.  One.   Two... 

Trapper and Hawkeye:  THREE!

Margaret:  Get 'em Frank!

 

One of the most quotable shows ever.

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I loved it when the families back home had a get together ( a sweet episode overall) and his parents totally hit it off with Radar's mom and Uncle Ed.   His reaction of horror was just totally funny.  

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"Snot! Snot! Snot!" is a common refrain in my house.   

 

I lean towards the Potter/Winchester years but I did love Frank.   I especially loved Frank and Hot Lips together.  What a couple of goofy pervs.  

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Oh I think my favorite has to be the episode where Radar gives Sophie to Col. Potter.    

 

Or 5 o'clock Charlie.  

 

Or any of the Colonol Flag episodes.   What a sick twist.  

 

Or the one withe the beating clock trying to save one patient, but another needs to die to do it.  

 

And just one HAAAATE episode - the dream episode.  Utterly refuse to watch it.   

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Yea Winchester was good at being able to keep up with Hawkeye and B.J.

 

Frank did make me laugh though. Felt sorry for him some times too.

 

One of my favorite moments...

 

When B.J. got Sidney to help him out in getting Frank. And he (Frank) jumped into the Air Raid Pit. Loved it XD.

Edited by Rhondinella · Reason: removed spoiler tags
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Just FYI, guys.  No need to spoiler tag anything about this show.  I mean, I know there's debate about the proper length of time that something remains a spoiler, but if it's as long as 35 years, then I'm quitting show business.

 

Thanks for being conscientious, though.

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I have to take the opposite position here.  I thought Klinger was fine as a small, funny secondary character, but Jamie Farr was WAY out of his acting depth when they started expanding his role and including him in more serious plots. 

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Klinger was great as a background crazy; when he went "normal" and had expanded storylines he became boring. That episode where he wanted to decorate his office with all of his stuff from home? Horrid. "Bugout," where he had to trade his collection of dresses to the prostitutes for their building? Awesome.

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I think that one of the things I loved aboutKlinger is that, at the end of the day, he was actually a good soldier.   Or at least a good Mash member.   No matter how goofy the outfit he could be counted on to assist, after a rocky start he became a good clerk... I just always thought it was meaningful that for all his "I'm section 8 from head to toe.  I'm wearing a Warner Bra.  I play with dolls."  at his core he was a good person who cared deeply for the people around him, even strangers.  

Edited by midge
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Can someone help?  I remember the punchline but not the setup....

Hawkeye: You do and you'll clean it up.

 

What was the setup?

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I would have bet money that he was talking to Frank, but I found the exchange in a post at the alt.tv.mash group:

 

Capt. Stone:   He's waiting for me to bird-dog.
Hawkeye:       You do and you'll clean it up.

 

The episode is "A Smattering of Intelligence," from season 2.

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The rant he went on in front of Potter and Radar in the office when he could not use the phone quacks me up. The one where his houseboy was a spy, he says he will not talk to anyone, the one where it is hot out and Margaret gets a rash on her bottom, and the newspaper one, are in my opinion, some of the funniest episodes. Oops...I forgot the tub episode.

Edited by bigskygirl
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Potter singing in the shower-"I like to go swimming with bowlegged women and swim between their legs!"

 

Margaret to Frank-"I have a mind and a brain, Frank!"  Frank-"Let me kiss your brain!"

 

Frank to Margaret-"I wrote you the longest love letter. I use a whole roll of toilet paper!"

 

Margaret to Henry-"You're drunk!!!" Henry-"That is a dirty lie and I tend to press charges the minute I am sober!"

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The Frank-Margaret exchanges were almost always hilarious.

 

"Oh Frank. You're so above-average."

 

And then he takes it as the most amazing compliment, LOL!

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"Frank Burns is a lipless wonder..."

 

"When that flag goes up the pole every morning, I go with it"...

 

"This place is a boil on the buttocks of humanity"...

 

"I gotta go to the sandbox".....

 

"She just pretended to like me, the way Dad used to"...

 

"There was a nun that jumped out of an angel food cake"...

 

"If my dog, had your face, I'd shave it's butt and teach it to walk backwards"

 

"I look for better job, more money, less you"...

Edited by stonehaven
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I loved it when the families back home had a get together ( a sweet episode overall) and his parents totally hit it off with Radar's mom and Uncle Ed.   His reaction of horror was just totally funny.  

I love that episode too! It was pretty funny. And the invitation to Charles' home... made of win! Charles couldn't have been more ticked. It was like something out of a cartoon, his reaction to that XD.

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One of my favorite episodes was the one where it was bitterly cold and they were running short of all supplies, including heating oil (so the guys all had to bunk together).  In addition to the '[Rats!] I've gotta go to the sandbox' (quoted in a post above), there were some of these (I'm probably paraphrasing, it's been awhile since I've seen it):

 

Hawkeye: 'Why are your feet hot, Frank?'

Radar: 'They're hunting socks'

Klinger: 'I once had a bra like that'

(Henry comes in and wants to know about the ruckus)

Radar:  'They're hunting socks, sir!'

Henry: 'At this hour?'

 

Henry:  'Better keep the brass monkeys in tonight!

 

Father Mulcahy: 'Now I lay me down to sleep.  A bag of peanuts at my feet.  If I should die before I wake, give them to my brother Jake' (Hawkeye's expression is priceless)

 

But my favorite has to be near the beginning when Henry comes into his office and finds out that his desk is now about a foot high. 

Radar:  'They'll burn anything they can get their hands on'

Henry: 'But to cut off a man's legs and steal his drawers!'

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There are some things I think of about Sherman T. Potter. How he would sometimes talk to the picture of his wife: Well, mother.... The way he'd ride his horse Sophie with such joy. The understanding way Potter handled his son-in-law who had cheated on his daughter--after he calmed down. The great kindness he showed to the old Korean ex-soldier who stole Sophie (those Potter scenes with the man and his daughter always make me cry). It all adds up to a man of great character and a wonderful addition to the show.

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I feel like I learned some things about how to be a good leader from watching how this character handled directing the wacky people around him.

 

 

So true. Like when you should just shrug and let something go, or when to put your foot down. There was one time he really read the riot act to Hawkeye (I think it was when Hawkeye shoved the "grim reaper" guy in the O Club), but then after that, he was like, "I'll try to smooth this over" even though he clearly was angry with the way Hawkeye handled the situation. He was a great leader, and everyone in camp had the utmost respect for him. 

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I love how Radar didn't know how to deal with him at first. He'd just lost Colonel Blake, who was like a father to him. I have to remember that Radar was pretty much a kid. But he ended up bending over backwards to do anything for Potter. Major Houlihan also.

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I can't watch any later episode where Hawkeye cries. He cried once in an early episode, but he did it like a normal person. In the last couple of seasons, he cried a few times by literally going, "WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH HAAAAA HAAAAAAA." And then I start to laugh, which I think is not the desired reaction.

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One that I just saw recently that I've always liked is the one where all the relatives meet in New York and have a party. Just an enjoyable episode.

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One that I just saw recently that I've always liked is the one where all the relatives meet in New York and have a party. Just an enjoyable episode.

Yea that one was pretty cool.

 

One of my least favorite episodes: The one where Hawkeye got a concussion and has to talk to stay awake.

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Charles to B.J. after having to listen to numerous updates on Erin's potty training progress: "Is my music disturbing your letter to the wife and kidneys?"

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