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Online Dating: The good, the bad and the ugly

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All my best rshps were found in the course of doing an activity I was already interested in, which is why I mention it. People get pretty het up and frothy when working on a passion project. It's why everyone in drama club was in danger of romantic calamity off stage....

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2 hours ago, possibilities said:

All my best rshps were found in the course of doing an activity I was already interested in, which is why I mention it. People get pretty het up and frothy when working on a passion project.

Right now, the only thing I go to is a writers' meetup . . . which meets up sporadically at best. I know that retreating into the "safety" of the Internet doesn't help, but there's where most get-togethers are for me. I wanted to volunteer for a political campaign last year, but they wanted people to canvas, knock on doors, and make calls . . . and I didn't feel comfortable doing any of those things. Also, if I go to a group with meeting somebody on my mind, doesn't that defeat the purpose of going in the first place? And I'm not even talking primary motive. More like #3 or below, as in "It'll be great to contribute to this cause . . . and if I meet someone special? Bonus."

Edited by Lantern7

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I agree it can be hard to find the right place to mingle and that if you're too focused on an ulterior motive, it can make the whole exercise weird. I've been out of circulation for a long time, so I don't know what I'd do now if I wanted to dive back in. I know there are meet ups around here for people who like hiking, or want to talk about photography, or who want to practice conversational Spanish (as a second language) together, for example. I think any situation where you get a chance to get to know people while doing something fun, but without pressure, can be a good ice breaker. A book discussion group. A study group. Even just people who volunteer together (like serving at a soup kitchen or something like that) get at least a little ice breaky interaction and start to see each other as allies. Even if you don't wind up dating one of the group members, if they like you and know you're looking, they might introduce you to a single friend.

But again, I know it's easier said than done, especially if you really just want to meet someone and being in the group is just for that ulterior motive. That does make it kind of awkward and uncomfortable and weird.

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Another example: Find places that have trivia nights. Go with the intent of winning, feel free to talk to others about he game as you go along. At worst, you played trivia, ate some food and practiced social skills. 

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14 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

Also, if I go to a group with meeting somebody on my mind, doesn't that defeat the purpose of going in the first place? And I'm not even talking primary motive. More like #3 or below, as in "It'll be great to contribute to this cause . . . and if I meet someone special? Bonus."

A lot of people who join these groups do it to meet other like minded people and there's no requirement that you have 100% pure motives to participate in a charity, fund raiser, political campaign...let's say you join a hiking club, a pet rescue or a food pantry with the primary purpose being to interact with a wider group of people, including potential dates.  At the end of the event, you've still taken a hike, still helped care and socialize pets improving their chance of rehoming, still sorted boxes of food donations, ...the organizations target goals are not somehow diminished if participants have other motivating factors.

Seriously, volunteering with a pet rescue, especially at adoption events, is going to have you talking with all sorts of people!  It seems like just getting more comfortable casually talking with people would be a bonus for you and that kind of situation takes all the pressure off you because puppies and kittens are chick magnets. 

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3 hours ago, DeLurker said:

At the end of the event, you've still taken a hike, still helped care and socialize pets improving their chance of rehoming...

Yep. And to be fair while the odds of finding some sort of potential date are pretty low, but because we get to be ourselves doing our own thing, if we do make a connection it is much more likely to be one that sticks. 

And @DeLurker I would like you to know that my imaginary celebrity girlfriend Kate Beckinsale was replaced just last night by Stacy London. I watched a couple of episodes of Love Lust or Run last night, and decided that she's my kind of person all wrapped up in a super attractive and age appropriate package.

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24 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

my imaginary celebrity girlfriend Kate Beckinsale was replaced just last night by Stacy London. I watched a couple of episodes of Love Lust or Run last night, and decided that she's my kind of person all wrapped up in a super attractive and age appropriate package.

And you wouldn't need Stitch Fix anymore with her around.

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And @DELURKER I would like you to know that my imaginary celebrity girlfriend Kate Beckinsale was replaced just last night by Stacy London. I watched a couple of episodes of Love Lust or Run last night, and decided that she's my kind of person all wrapped up in a super attractive and age appropriate package.

This makes me worry about you @JTMacc99 Find someone who will treat you right. 

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My imaginary girlfriends are rarely the nurturing types, especially the celebrity versions.

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I got excited to discuss our mutual love of sci-fi with a guy who had seemed really nice (no penis talk or dick pics) so far. So he asks me if I could time travel, what time would I go to? I answered I would go to the future because the past sucks for women. He asked if I was a SJW, and what I would find to “cry about” in the future. Really? We can’t admit that women have had a harder time than men in the past? Come on! I’m feeling a bit discouraged about my prospects online...

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Okay, fine, I’ll be the male side here. 

2 hours ago, Frisson said:

Really?

His response was childish and rude if not worse.  

However,

2 hours ago, Frisson said:

We can’t admit that women have had a harder time than men in the past? Come on!

In the proper context, say in a spirited discussion during a sociology class, sure. In the opening stages of an online dating conversation with a man who is attempting to get to know you in a flirty fun way? This is what is what it sounds like from his side:

Him: [Cute, open ended question that gives you an opportunity to reveal something about your thoughts about the world, moments that intrigue you, who you are inside.]

You: Men have sucked for millennia. Who’s with me!? [Holds up hand for a high five.]

Him: [this won’t end well for me]

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@Frisson

This is my read on that conversation.

Him: We both like sci-fi. I'll ask a generic open-ended question. 

You: I'm going to answer honestly. As someone who appreciates sci-fi instead of just plain old fantasy he should get this rational response. 

Him: I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON.

If I were a guy and I wanted to keep the conversation going, I'd ask to pretend you were going back as an observer or maybe in some kind of Quantum Leap scenario where you could be in another body. I wouldn't say something to reveal that at best I hang out in too many internet comment threads and at worst I haunt the worst parts of reddit and 4chan.

You're not crazy. The world is crazy. A lot of self-help stuff will lie to you and gaslight you and tell you that you need to lower your standards and learn to compromise. In actuality, genuinely good guys are in short supply. Factor in things like availability, age, and location and that number goes way down. Then go into compatibility and physical attraction and common interests and no wonder it's such a struggle. The thing that none of these dating gurus and think pieces want to admit is that if you're truly feminist and progressive, your pool of men is very small. And those men have their pick from a large pool of women. Now, of course there are conservative women. And there are women who simply don't care or who find that other things are more of a priority. But for the rest of us? The prospects are bleak. Especially if you want a monogamous relationship. Marriage and children? You might as well want the moon. 

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1 hour ago, JTMacc99 said:

Him: [this won’t end well for me]

Well, yeah, if he can't handle a simple truth like that, I suppose it won't. 

If he's a straight, white male, there is a larger selection of appealing time periods to travel to than there are for women, people of color, those who are LGBT, etc.  Receiving an "As a woman, I'd have to take a chance on the future rather than somewhere in the past" response as food for thought (causing him consider the privileges that give him a wider variety of good options to that question, yielding an "You know, I didn't think about that" reaction) would be great, but a simple, "Interesting, how far in the future would you go?" reply would be perfectly fine.

Edited by Bastet
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2 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

Okay, fine, I’ll be the male side here. 

His response was childish and rude if not worse.  

However,

In the proper context, say in a spirited discussion during a sociology class, sure. In the opening stages of an online dating conversation with a man who is attempting to get to know you in a flirty fun way? This is what is what it sounds like from his side:

Him: [Cute, open ended question that gives you an opportunity to reveal something about your thoughts about the world, moments that intrigue you, who you are inside.]

You: Men have sucked for millennia. Who’s with me!? [Holds up hand for a high five.]

Him: [this won’t end well for me]

JTMACC, thanks for a suggestion on how he might have taken the conversation. He was no the right kind of guy if that was his interpretation.

 

I’m not looking for marriage or children, just possibly a nice person to spend time with. If we can’t have a basic conversation where I’m not taken as a SJW/man hater/snowflake, that’s just not going to happen. I’m annoyed by the quick jumps to rudeness and creepiness, but I’m content alone, so whatever.

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On 1/7/2019 at 6:05 PM, Lantern7 said:

Right now, the only thing I go to is a writers' meetup . . . which meets up sporadically at best. I know that retreating into the "safety" of the Internet doesn't help, but there's where most get-togethers are for me. I wanted to volunteer for a political campaign last year, but they wanted people to canvas, knock on doors, and make calls . . . and I didn't feel comfortable doing any of those things. Also, if I go to a group with meeting somebody on my mind, doesn't that defeat the purpose of going in the first place? And I'm not even talking primary motive. More like #3 or below, as in "It'll be great to contribute to this cause . . . and if I meet someone special? Bonus."

I'll just throw this out there (my history with men, over the years--not in this order):

First husband--met at my brother's wedding

2nd husband--met at work

Boy friend--met at work

Boy friend--a neighbor

Boy friend--met at work

and so forth and so on......

You do see the pattern?

Maybe you're just not ready yet--that's OK.... when you are.... you'll do what you're reluctant to do.

JMO

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I’m not looking for marriage or children, just possibly a nice person to spend time with. If we can’t have a basic conversation where I’m not taken as a SJW/man hater/snowflake, that’s just not going to happen. I’m annoyed by the quick jumps to rudeness and creepiness, but I’m content alone, so whatever.

That's more of a me thing. I'm just feeling salty because it seems like you're either perfect (highly educated, professional, conventionally attractive in all the ways, etc.) and one of the not-terrible men picks you... OR you choose to be someone's longterm girlfriend without children or in some kind of poly relationship or a perpetual dater. And of course there are just a lot of single women though that feels like less of a choice in most cases. Personally, it's difficult to resist the temptation to conform. To be anxious about every aspect of presentation, to indulge in disordered eating, to silence my voice, to make myself smaller and more pleasant and more palatable.  

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On 1/8/2019 at 5:59 PM, Frisson said:

I got excited to discuss our mutual love of sci-fi with a guy who had seemed really nice (no penis talk or dick pics) so far. So he asks me if I could time travel, what time would I go to? I answered I would go to the future because the past sucks for women. He asked if I was a SJW, and what I would find to “cry about” in the future. Really? We can’t admit that women have had a harder time than men in the past? Come on! I’m feeling a bit discouraged about my prospects online...

Im thinking like where Shakespeare did his original plays? Do we have to be so serious?  As a general rule people like to have fun!  Like lots of fun. We laugh, have great sex, just have a damn good time. I’d check seriousness at the door. Go out- live life. 

This isn’t directed to you but all this seriousness. Life is way better. 

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I didn’t mean to put brake lights on this good conversation  and am sorry if it came off that way. I think I have different views and that’s ok. I’ll become a reader/non poster on this sub forum and wish all of you nothing but happiness and success- however that is defined :)

Edited by KnoxForPres

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17 hours ago, KnoxForPres said:

I’ll become a reader/non poster on this sub forum and wish all of you nothing but happiness and success- however that is defined :)

I think that your absence will be missed, or at least I will miss it.  You've gone through rough patches in your personal life and are now in a place where things seem pretty good.  It is nice to hear from someone who has evolved their perspective on relationships over time and who recognize their priorities of 10 years ago may not have served them that well or no longer line up with their outlook today.

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I haven't been poring through profiles lately. I did get a like today. I got excited, clicked the link . . . and the lady had two pictures and four words total.

I did join a Meetup group in regards to doing local stuff. Minimum, it will give me things to look forward to (albeit just on weekends for me), and I'm not pressing to meet a special woman. I'm not going to get mad if that doesn't happen.

Edited by Lantern7
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10 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

I did join a Meetup group in regards to doing local stuff. Minimum, it will give me things to look forward to (albeit just on weekends for me), and I'm not pressing to meet a special woman. I'm not going to get mad if that doesn't happen.

Good! This will get you out and about and you never know what comes of it. Mingle, be yourself and don't focus on conversations just with women - be sure to engage men in conversations, too.

Also: keep in mind that many, many people use the 'like' as a bookmark, or they just swipe right / like everyone and see what catches. I see why people do that it's exhausting to read every profile and then never get a match. Send messages if you are interested and un-match and move forward if you aren't.

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I finally signed up for Bumble. Got a match, things were going well, we were going to meet up for coffee but the timing sucked - my BFF is flying in on Sunday for the next week. Apparently that means I'm hiding something.

The timeline went:
Message through the app for a day.
He sends me his number and says Bumble is being slow, I should text or SnapChat him.
I suggested he reinstall Bumble, I'm not giving out my number this early on and don't have SnapChat.
To me, messaging through the app is the same as texting. The only reason to exchange numbers early on is to speak on the phone

We text on and off for a week about nothing. I suggest a 'get to know you' Q/A (you ask, I ask, can't ask what the other person did) which gives you a good feel for some deal breakers. He ends it with 'his rule is first date is coffee and dutch'. I raised an eyebrow at the dutch part but I appreciate the up frontness and suggested a coffee place near me. 

He asked if I could go Sunday, which I can't, my BFF is flying in for the next week to visit.
I explained that and suggested tonight since I am busy all day Saturday.
He can't because he has his son and suggested (which I thought was a joke) bailing on my friend to go meet him Sunday night. I said NOPE to that and asked if he could call me tonight after his son went to bed, we could at least talk on the phone (his request) until we could meet up.

I get a response today that he can't call me tonight (ok, you can't talk for 15 minutes after your kid goes to sleep, why???) and goes on a rant that if I'm not comfortable meeting him after a week and a half I must be hiding something and he feels like I have a checklist and has to make me feel comfortable.

So let's recap for people in the back:
He made no mention of meeting up last weekend
He didn't bring up calling me after we had been messaging for a few days (vs a day)
He conveniently forgot I suggested meeting up Saturday (tomorrow) instead

I think I dodged a bullet
 

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Not doing anything yet but I recently updated my okc photos and I started swiping. I think their algorithm is broken. How can I have a high match percentage with a guy who thinks affirmative action is racist and has a blog telling Chinese people why they need to vote Republican and another guy who won't shut up about guns on his profile and is anti-abortion and pro-creationism? I thought answering all those questions was supposed to make it easier to filter those people out. 

But yeah, I'll probably jump back in soon. I'm just trying to get to a place where I can enthusiastically respond to "Hi, you're beautiful." It's dire out there. 

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I'm still having no luck with OKC. On occasion, I get a "Someone Like Your Profile!" notice, but then it turns out to be four words and maybe a few pictures. Once again, I'd be open to showing my profile to anyone here for feedback.

Is Bumble a free app/service? Any specifics on what to watch for there?

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15 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

Is Bumble a free app/service?

Bumble is free and women led. You swipe like you do on Tinder and OKC; however, if you match the woman has 24 hours to message you then you have 24 hours to respond. If you both respond within the timeframe the messaging can continue.

Quote

Any specifics on what to watch for there?

Much like every other dating app, women swipe to 'bookmark' for now and review in depth later if there is a match, not necessarily because they really like the profile and want to meet.

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It was really hard for me to fall in love with smb and it happened very unexpected, that is why I never tried to make a romance on the Internet. Just didn't want to disappoint another person.

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So the intense amount of swiping has resulted in a few matches. I haven't been able to psych myself up to write to any of them yet. For the guys who initiated the conversation, I had 10 or fewer interactions. They mostly died. One guy wanted my number/to get me off the app immediately so I stopped responding. Not sure what I'm going to do there. Another guy wants to set up a date next week and I should do it but I'm hesitating. 

I texted Mr. Slow and Easy finally (I didn't contact him immediately when I got back from my trip because I worried he would want to go out and I was not in the right mental health space trying to manage work commitments) and he replied once. But he hasn't replied since. So I don't know if that's dead or not. To be fair, it has been months since we've gone out. 

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Got another "Someone Liked Your Profile!" e-mail. One photo, one paragraph about herself, no spaces after commas . . . but fuck it, at least she seems like a live person.

I still could use a test audience (or a mere person) to see how many flaws need to be fixed on my profile. I might be leaning too hard on being a geek sort. On the other hand, I'm not painting myself as "unique" or "seeing things differently." I may feel like I'm messed up, but I'm honest about it.

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12 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

I still could use a test audience (or a mere person) to see how many flaws need to be fixed on my profile

Why don't you screenshot it, remove all identifying information / block out the photos and post it here? 

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I feel weird displaying that in a forum, even with stuff blacked out. I could do it via e-mail or messaging.

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Ladies - we are not alone! The Reddit that is linked in the buzzfeed story is horrifying.https://www.buzzfeed.com/christopherhudspeth/nice-guys-who-are-basically-red-flags-in-human-form

I've decided online dating is not for me.  After nearly a decade of eHarmony (which resulted in one match that turned into some dates that lead to being ghosted, twice), Tinder (that resulted in one date that turned into a second date and nothing more), OK Cupid (which I don't think resulted in any dates), Coffee Meets Bagel, Bumble and Hinge, I'm over it. The real profiles are on every site and the fake profiles are well, fake.

I'm making an effort to go out, live my life and keep trying  to make new friends which will expand my social circle and potential dating pool. I joined the same social sports league I played in, in CA and met some people last year but the teams I played on weren't very social outside of our games. I forced myself to go out to a bar on Christmas Day and ran into some people who played in the league but not my team which turned into being able to join their D&D game which opened doors to other shindigs and meeting more new people. Doing all these things is way outside my introvert comfort level. Showing up at the first 'pick-up game' for the league (back in CA) was terrifying and add to that, the whole thing started 45 minutes late. I was going to leave after waiting 30 minutes when two super nice people showed up and convinced me it was worth sticking around for.

Edited by theredhead77
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I may have dating stories from this coming weekend but who knows because nothing is confirmed and I'm busy and feeling a bit flaky. If these guys want to go on a date they need to lock it down before I decide I'd rather stay home and bake cookies and watch Netflix.

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Well, I'm at a loss. I don't really socialize much, and I'm not attracted to anyone I see on a regular basis. I know that online dating might be a crutch, but I don't really know how else to meet people. Once again, I feel that I'm at an age where I've missed out on a lot of rites that others take for granted. And when I get a "like," it seldom pans out like I'd want.

ETA: For the most part, I don't like the circumstances I find myself. I feel that a lot of that is out of my hands, yet maybe it's not as hard to grasp as I can imagine. Does that make sense?

Edited by Lantern7
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13 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

Well, I'm at a loss. I don't really socialize much, and I'm not attracted to anyone I see on a regular basis. I know that online dating might be a crutch, but I don't really know how else to meet people. Once again, I feel that I'm at an age where I've missed out on a lot of rites that others take for granted. And when I get a "like," it seldom pans out like I'd want.

ETA: For the most part, I don't like the circumstances I find myself. I feel that a lot of that is out of my hands, yet maybe it's not as hard to grasp as I can imagine. Does that make sense?

Join a social sports league. Great way to meet people in a casual environment. I'll preface this with 'don't join with the intent on finding someone to be in a relationship with' but I know 10 couples who got married to people they met in social sports.

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Do you remember when I went on that one date with the ex-soldier? I saw him on okc last night and swiped right. He messaged me. Should I mention we already went out once and then he ghosted me?

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6 hours ago, aradia22 said:

Do you remember when I went on that one date with the ex-soldier? I saw him on okc last night and swiped right. He messaged me. Should I mention we already went out once and then he ghosted me?

Only if you're prepared for some BS excuse as to why he ghosted you.

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So my weekend dates are not happening. I think one guy unmatched because I took too long to respond (Fair). I backed out of the tentative plans (no time or place) with the other guy for tomorrow. 

Meanwhile, I did tell the ex-soldier (absolutely forgot his nickname and I don't feel like going back through the thread) and he still asked if we could go out again so we'll see what happens there. I remember thinking he was a bit too old for me and way more settled in his life. While I think that could still be a concern, I think maybe 2 years have passed since then so the age difference doesn't bother me AS much. 

A few conversations but nothing else is sparking. I was exchanging more messages than usual with one guy but unmatched because he was the most unbearable person. I wanted to give him a fair chance but no, he was INCREDIBLY annoying. I told him about my job and maybe wanting to go to grad school or find a different one and he was so critical and demeaning. His side of the conversation could have basically been summed up as "aim low" that I just couldn't have any more of that energy. If he's like that before a first date, I can only imagine how much worse it would get. I don't know if he doesn't have social skills or he was trying some weird form of negging without any of the compliments but it's not my problem anymore.

Edited by aradia22

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I went back in the thread. His nickname was just The Soldier because I am creative. 😛 Anyway, we have a date tentatively scheduled for Wednesday. He seems to like to text. I don't. 

I also maybe have a date Thursday with someone else mostly because I don't feel like cooking dinner after work. We'll see what happens on that one. 

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7 hours ago, aradia22 said:

I also maybe have a date Thursday with someone else mostly because I don't feel like cooking dinner after work

As good a reason as any!

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Good luck @aradia22. Hopefully you at least have a couple nice nights out.

I very literally laughed out loud when I ran across this post on Instagram last week. Apparently I'm Stewie from The Family Guy for the last few months. They even got the drink choice right...

djqJ8Ydl.jpg

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My neighbor just started dating her co-worker (which is a terrible idea, to me). She's the one who pressured me into using Bumble. I told her about the experience I posted up thread (combined with very little engagement from any 'matches') and that I deleted the app she got all worked up that I'm not interested in dating. She's clearly in the "I just found a relationship and it's the best thing ever" phase, which is extra annoying since 3 weeks ago she was going on shitty dates and was not really interested in dating.

While I'm 99.9% sure I'm moving back to CA as soon as I can, I told her I *am* moving and am not interested in dating. She said what about when you move home? I told her "you are way more invested in my dating life than I am".

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3 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I told her about the experience I posted up thread (combined with very little engagement from any 'matches') and that I deleted the app she got all worked up that I'm not interested in dating. She's clearly in the "I just found a relationship and it's the best thing ever" phase, which is extra annoying since 3 weeks ago she was going on shitty dates and was not really interested in dating.

My best friend moved to a conservative area for work, and is flummoxed by a great many things, including people's reaction to the fact she is single "at her age" (mid-40s) and, gasp, doesn't care.  If she, in the course of her daily life, happens to meet someone who turns out to be someone she'd like to get involved with, she's not opposed to dating him.  But she has zero interest in looking for a relationship - she doesn't want to be set up, doesn't use any dating sites, declines to give her number to anyone she chats with while just trying to enjoy a drink, etc.  She is perfectly happy with her life as it is - it has been over 10 years since her last romantic relationship - and this was generally no big deal in L.A.  But now she has an office full of people declaring, "We're going to find you a husband!"

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She should tell them she's a lesbian. I bet they won't try to find her a wife!

/kidding. they would probably fire her.

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27 minutes ago, possibilities said:

She should tell them she's a lesbian. I bet they won't try to find her a wife!

That's exactly what I told her when this first started.

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Date tonight. Tired. No nickname I can think of at the moment. Basically, I know I need to get back out there. So when this guy reached out to me and seemed relatively nice, I thought, sure why not? His photos were kind of borderline where I wasn't quite sure if I was attracted to him or not. And then he posted one earlier this week and I suddenly had a visceral negative reaction. And when I saw him in person tonight, it was better but I still knew I was not attracted to him and would not be attracted to him in the future.

Other than that, it was perfectly fine. He chose a bad restaurant. Like, it was a weird set up the way you ordered and that created awkwardness and it was also just bad food cooked poorly. But we had a very pleasant interaction. We had a few interests in common but nothing that would spark a friendship. Like, okay, he knows who Taylor Swift is. So do a lot of people. And if I wasn't really feeling a friendship spark, I REALLY wasn't feeling anything romantic. We met up at 8:30 and the restaurant closed at 11 so that was a built in out for me. 

He kind of suggested a date 2 even though I was dressed down and only had a little bit of concealer on (no time for makeup before work today). I'm not opposed to seeing him again maybe in a friendship context because he did say he was open to meeting new people and talked about friends not always wanting to hang out. But I don't really need new straight male friends. And I don't want to lead him on encouraging anything romantic because I don't feel anything. 

Wednesday date with The Soldier moved to Saturday. I'll let you know how that goes.

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On 3/15/2019 at 12:37 AM, aradia22 said:

Like, okay, he knows who Taylor Swift is. So do a lot of people. 

Seems like an awfully low bar.

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No movement on my profile. Still hoping to get feedback. Once again, when things go wrong for me, I don't hate women. I just usually question myself. It's not like I post pictures of me wearing a t-shirt proclaiming "HONORABLE GUY" or anything like that.

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We didn't like or message each other but this profile was too good to not post. This is the whole thing.

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My self-summary

My years in the military have made me to know how important humanity is... most especially... the fragile ones (FEMALE)

What!?!

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2 hours ago, aradia22 said:

We didn't like or message each other but this profile was too good to not post. This is the whole thing.

Quote

My self-summary

My years in the military have made me to know how important humanity is... most especially... the fragile ones (FEMALE)

What!?!

"Took a lot of cranial trauma on the battlefield, solider?" Wow.

I haven't been actively searching. I should step it back up.

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I finally did it. I wrote 9 messages this morning. We'll see if anything comes of them but at least the mutual likes will no longer be hanging over me. I just had to get over it because generally the guys I really like are not the guys who write to me first. 

I have a date in like 40 minutes. Coffee/tea. I'm not dreading it but I'm also having trouble getting myself worked up to put on makeup and a cute outfit. 

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