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Quotable Quotes: Lines from TV You've Made Your Own

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A few favorites here at the Bucket (pronounced Boo-KAY) residence:

 

"I'm sitting here completely surrounded by no beer."

and 

"I'm off men. There's not one of them worth shaving your legs for."

 

And a special favorite of Mr B, courtesy of Titus Pullo

"It's as hot as Vulcan's dick"

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One of my five favorite shows of all time is "Trailer Park Boys", and I have integrated Mr. Lahey's shitisms into my vocabulary. I lovingly call my cats shit rats, I particularly love "ride the shitnado back to Oz", and will refer to recidivists as "shitivists." I also started pronouncing jalapeño the way that Ricky does, and I love his "make like a tree and fuck off."

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I remember several classmates coming at each other with, "N***a, please!" courtesy of the not-so-politically correct writers of Good Times (Wilona's character, specifically). Some kids probably already had that phrase in their vernacular, but I noticed it more when the show was on.

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Whenever my best friend and I are shocked by a brilliant plot twist on one of our shows, one of us will inevitably ask,"How did we miss that?" The only proper response is the Doctor's "Perception filter, or maybe we're just thick."

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From the end of The Last Vow (Seas. 3, Ep. 3 of Sherlock)

Watson: I don't understand.

Magnusson: You really should put that on a t-shirt.

Watson: I still don't understand.

Magnusson: And there's the back of the shirt.

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I remember several classmates coming at each other with, "N***a, please!" courtesy of the not-so-politically correct writers of Good Times (Wilona's character, specifically). Some kids probably already had that phrase in their vernacular, but I noticed it more when the show was on.

 

I still watch Good Times on TvOne (I think?).  Anyhoo, considering it was network television, I thought she said negro please? no?  (Alderman Davis?).   I can't believe I'm about to type this sentence but my "favorite" intonation of n***a, please was uttered by Amy Ryan (she's the woman who portrayed the mother in the movie Gone Baby Gone).  It's a haunting movie but that scene made me spit out what I was eating for the authenticity of her delivery. 

Whenever my dude and I are meeting someone for the first time and he does the introductions, he'll say each of our first and last names very slowly (we're both African) and when, after one or two repetitions, pronunciation is still a challenge, we'll mimic the scene from Coming to America where Mr. McDowell is meeting King Joffre and Queen Aoleon for the first time and he cannot quit messing up her name.  We look at the person we just met and look at each other and go:  Uh, Alien, Olinean, Aoleon.     ::throatclear:: sometimes you gotta be there. lol.

 

Roobs I floved Flo, I still say kiss my grits  :D 

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I still watch Good Times on TvOne (I think?). Anyhoo, considering it was network television, I thought she said negro please? no? (Alderman Davis?). I can't believe I'm about to type this sentence but my "favorite" intonation of n***a, please was uttered by Amy Ryan (she's the woman who portrayed the mother in the movie Gone Baby Gone). It's a haunting movie but that scene made me spit out what I was eating for the authenticity of her delivery.

Whenever my dude and I are meeting someone for the first time and he does the introductions, he'll say each of our first and last names very slowly (we're both African) and when, after one or two repetitions, pronunciation is still a challenge, we'll mimic the scene from Coming to America where Mr. McDowell is meeting King Joffre and Queen Aoleon for the first time and he cannot quit messing up her name. We look at the person we just met and look at each other and go: Uh, Alien, Olinean, Aoleon. ::throatclear:: sometimes you gotta be there. lol.

Roobs I floved Flo, I still say kiss my grits :D

Yes ma'am, when homegirl just spat that out in the backseat of the car like it was one of her everyday-isms? I was like, "Did she just--she said--" and we had to chuckle at that. I forgot about that scene.

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I forgot to add one of my favorites and one that comes in super handy when you the Get A Grip Friend for someone with relationship drama. From the underrated (in its first few seasons, anyway) My Boys, when PJ is telling Brendan why all his relationships fail: "Dude, you gotta stop shopping at the Crazy Mall."

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"Your logic is not like our Earth logic" and variations on it, from Buffy. And lots of variations on "lying liar who lies", although the first time I heard anything like it was "manly men doing manly things, manfully", so lying liars is a variation on that in my experience.

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Kudos to the mention of "It wasn't not funny!" from Tami on S2 of The Real World.  My best friend and I still say it all the time.  Another of my Real World favorites was Puck saying to Rachel (I think it was during the house meeting to kick him out), "You!  Lay on the couch and BE laying on the couch!"

 

I also enjoy shouting "Meat!  Taters!" whenever someone is cooking dinner, in honor of Briscoe Darling from The Andy Griffith Show.

Edited by TaraS1
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...the first time I heard anything like it was "manly men doing manly things, manfully"...

Every now and then I find an opportunity to use "We are all men! Manly men, on a men's ship, doing manly things!" It's a handy quote to have ready when someone makes a big deal out of something that isn't particularly manly.

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Not exactly a direct quote but I work in food service at a nursing home and there are two sections and the other one always takes the mops and brooms. So I have said to my co-workers "let's go steal a broom"

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Nate would be proud! I can see each member of the team suggesting the best way to do it. Eliot: Punch out the other section, Parker create a hole in the closet and rapel down, Sophie pretend to be a Russian countess in need of a special broom brought from the old country by her babushka, Hardison hack into the facility system and arrange for the supplies to be delivered to you.

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From Psych via Ed Lover... 'C'mon son'

From Buffy........... 'Bored now'

From Archer.... 'Phrasing' and for some reason 'Bitch I got ants all over me!' is used sometimes when I don't want to be bothered.

From GoT....... 'Hodor'

From Rome......... 'Large penis is always welcome' usually used when someone is talking about gift ideas.

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"I've never been called an adult before.  I've been tried as one."  The Simpsons marathon has been reminding me of so many great lines. 

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"You don't make friends with salad", "I can't stay mad at you, sandwich" "Stupid, sexy Flanders" are just an iota of Simpson's quotes me and my family use daily.

"I KNEW IT" in my best Lucille voice from Arrested Development

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I swear, no one in my family ever referred to me as "Mother" until we began watching Arrested Development. Thank you, Buster and Lucille! I knew my newest son-in-law was one of us when I recently heard him saying, "I don't want to upset Mother!" I've even taken to referring to myself as Mother, as in, "What did Mother tell you . . . ?"

 

Other Arrested Development quotes frequently heard in my family: "I've made a huge mistake" and "Maybe I will!" (snapped in a high-pitched Buster voice).  And if someone comes home unexpectedly early, the common explanation is "Army had half-a-day."

 

This is a visual one, but my youngest daughter--a gifted mime--can sip a cocktail exactly like Lucille Bluth does it.

Edited by Portia
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I think 90% of the time i want to say the phrase "rough stuff" and want to pronounce it like Penny in Happy Endings as "roof stoof" but only a couple of my friends have seen Happy Endings so the reference would probably just be confusing to people.

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This line from the "Ezekiel" episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force is useful when I've beaten someone in any kind of contest: "Checkmate! You're the hippopotamus!"

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I was reminded of this one today as I was running. There is an episode from season 2 of ER in which Dr. Ross is trying to save a kid in a storm drain. The kid is slipping into hypothermia and Ross yells to him "You hang on, dammit! You hang on." Embarrassing confession time: over the years that has become my self rallying cry while exercising. "You hang on, damnit. You hang on." complete with George Clooney voice and everything.

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It was just on Boardwalk Empire last night but 3 times* today i've used

"Why must it always be pandemonium!"  Seems like it might stick.

 

 

 

*(At the grocery store, in traffic, and at work)

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Two of my favorites come from Archer and Frisky Dingo - "Grill me a cheese," for when I'm feeling snacky but also lazy and petulant, and "We can never go back to Arizona," well, just because. Unfortunately I usually just get blank stares for those two.

 

Another one I have in regular rotation is "I've made a huge mistake."

 

And for some reason, a ridiculous and random Adam Sandler thing has stuck in my brain for decades ("Fatty McGee, you're the fattest!"), which is the reason I call my cat Fatty McGee pretty regularly.

 

ETA: I can't believe I forgot this one from Lucille Bluth, because it's probably the one I use the most: "I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it." Works for almost any occasion, I've found.

Edited by anastasiabeaverhausen

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In lieu of "so there" or something: "That'll put marzipan in your pie-plate, Bingo!" -- RoboBuffy

 

When one of the cats is being bad: "He's not a criminal mastermind; he's just a kid with nothin' and nowhere to go!" -- Sandy Cohen, The OC
 

Usually when my BF says something that makes no sense: "This is where the fish lives." -- Melissa Strickland, MST3K: A Touch of Satan (also from that episode, "Zah!" followed by, "I've said 'Zah' in better places than this.").

If someone says "asshole," my BF will say, "A what?!" It's from one of George Carlin's standup shows from way back when. One of those things that is hard to explain why it's funny but just is ("He's an asshole!" "A WHAT?!" "An asshole!").

Also, "Chung chung!" (that Law & Order sound) if something dramatic (or even just stupid) happens.

"And I want to thank you, Ray Don…" Usually used during some impassioned speech about a minor annoyance.

 

"Stay out of it, Nick Lachey." 

 

And this is not a saying, really but a gesture that my BF and I do if the other says "obtuse":

Edited by TattleTeeny

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Two from comedy routines that I think more than I say:

From Dave Attell: I don't have to drink to have a good time. I have to drink to stop the voices in my head.

From Ron White on being arrested while drunk: At that point, I had the right to remain silent. But I no longer had the ability.

 

 

And I'll add Bill Engvall's line "Here's your sign" and I'll admit I say it to myself when I do something stupid.

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I used to use "Here's your sign", but I was so saddened when no one ever got the reference.  Ever.  Even years ago when it was (possibly) more well known.  You'd think the Blue Collar Comedy Tour would have sparked some recognition in others, but nope.  My friends are lame.  lol  

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Usually when my BF says something that makes no sense: "This is where the fish lives." -- Melissa Strickland, MST3K: A Touch of Satan (also from that episode, "Zah!" followed by, "I've said 'Zah' in better places than this.").

My cousin and I wrote a song based on this episode, it actually contains This is where the fish lives and multiple Zahs!.

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Can't believe this hasn't been mentioned yet, courtesy of Gary Coleman from Diff'rent Strokes.  I use it ALL the time.  Still.

 

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I recently used the "did I hurt your feeling?" line from Veronica Mars on somebody when we were both being irritable and it actually did hurt their feeling(s), so I apologized. With great dialogue comes great responsibility.

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My cousin and I wrote a song based on this episode, it actually contains This is where the fish lives and multiple Zahs!.

 

A friend bought me a refrigerator magnet that has a picture of a book that says "This is Where the Fish Lives" by Melissa Strickland." I also have one that says just "Rowsdower."

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From Maurice Sendak's appearance on The Colbert Report a few years ago, referring to Stephen's children's book: "The sad thing is, I like it!" and "Terribly, supremely ordinary."

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"Stay out of it, Nick Lachey." 

 

 

I say "Stay out of it....Nick Lachey" more often than I should, and I'm always sad because so few people ever get it.  What makes the whole thing funnier to me is how Nick Lachey just decided to insert himself into the conversation, so I usually look like a lunatic because I'm laughing when I say it.  

 

ETA: To add in the video link so we can all enjoy it.

 

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x99d71_the-soup-one-tree-hill-stay-out-of_fun

Edited by Princess Sparkle
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I remembered that line as being funnier. It does, however, match up with one of my Golden Girls favorites:

"Sonny Bono, get off my lanai."

 

Haha--oh my goodness, I just said this one the other day to my friend...and even mentioned that it was the better predecessor to the Nick Lachey one!

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I didn't think I used any until a couple popped up just last week:

     In Living Color: Homey don't play that.

     Star Trek TNG: Make it so

     SNL: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead

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I'm pretty sure I can find opportunities to use this one from an episode California's Gold involving old firefighting equipment: "Here comes the hose wagon!"

Frisky Dingo: "That's...something you don't see every day...one hopes."

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