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Quotable Quotes: Lines from TV You've Made Your Own

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I really enjoyed the thread on TWoP where we talked about lines from TV shows we use in our own lives. If there's an equivalent here at PTV, I couldn't find it, so I've created the topic.

 

And I'll start: I was just thinking of how much I miss TDS and TCR, which made me think of Jon & Stephen at the Emmys, which in turn led me to a phrase I use all the time in spite of the fact that no one seems to appreciate it:

 

"Good evening, godless sodomites."

 

I also use "godless killing machine" to refer to my cat.

 

Over to you in the studio...

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This is an old and obscure one but I've been using it for decades and I love it. 

 

Backstory, it's from the old Letterman show when he would have people make short films and it's stolen from Andrea Martin's and Catherine O'Hara's.

 

"Somewhere between Christmas and being buried alive."

Edited by bosawks
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"Make it so."  Although I'm not sure most folks I use it on get the reference.

 

"Bite your tongue heathen!" Again, nobody I know watches Supernatural, so...

 

I actually use a lot of Flanderisms--"Absitively posilutely!"; "Okaley Dokely!"; "Hi-dilly-ho" and such--sadly much of that pre-dates my watching of The Simpsons.

Edited by DittyDotDot
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From the Simpsons, I use "folded faster than Superman on laundry day" a lot.

Also Monica's "I know!" and Rachel's "Noooooo..." from Friends is often utilized.

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These are from old shows, but they've stayed with me. 

 

WKRP in Cincinnati:  "I am the wind", "You can't mess with Ma Bell!", "[Little House on the Praire] It's about little blind children and every week someone dies of a disease or in a fire", I have to spell these two phonetically: "Cheye Cheye RAH druh gweeze and Cha who ah who ahs"

 

Designing Women:  "She has a line on her chest", "[he or she]'s from Paraguay or Uruguay--one of those guay countries",  "We don't talk so good"

 

Of course, most of these are topic specific and not something I can fit into just any conversations, but if the situation arises, I toss them in to see if anyone else gets them. 

Edited by Shannon L.
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It loses something if you don't know Jean Smart's voice and inflection, but my all-time favorite line comes compliments of Charlene on Designing Women:  "I love knowledge. In fact, I yearn for it." I make frequent use of this line because I'm the sort of person who's always learning interesting facts about the world around me.  ;-)

 

And because I'm a gal who takes care of business, I also frequently quote Elaine Benes: "You know me, I walk into a room and -- [raspberry sound] -- problem solved."

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"Cheye Cheye Rod-ri-gweez" and "there's a giant lizzard threatening the east coast" are right up there as WKRP classics along with "God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

 

A lot of my TV quotes are actually from movies...but I saw them on TV so that totally counts. Holy Grail is especially quotable:"Run away! Run away!" and "Brave brave Sir Robin"  I actually sing the second one to my very skittish cat: "When danger reared its ugly head/He bravely turned his tail and fled." Really, I quote half of Holy Grail way too much and could go on and on. Much like Brother Maynard explaining the number of the counting.

 

The cats are the recipients of many of my re-used quotes. As I mentioned on the other site "Shut! Shut! You is talky meat!" from Angel gets quite the work out around dinner time (i.e. every time I go near the kitchen).

 

"Somewhere between Christmas and being buried alive."
reminds me of a favorite from Mame:

How old do you think I am?

Oh, I'd say somewhere between 40...and death.

Edited by ABay
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Not as funny as all of yours, but still memorable:

 

"Let's be careful out there."  from Hill Street Blues.  Especially now that I have teenagers.

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I break out "assbutt" a lot. Get a lot of strange looks for it. Thanks Castiel. I also like " everything's coming up Milhouse."

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If I overhear two people laughing at something, I always say "I love inside jokes... Hope to be a part of one someday." - Michael Scott

 

They always think I seriously feel left out and it's hilarious to me.

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"If you're going to cry, cut and cry" from an early season of Project Runway about not letting your emotions keep you from the goal.

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I use 'craptacular' as a word, from the Simpsons. See also: 'cromulent' and 'boo-urns.'

 

I've been known to use 'assbutt' in conversation and also say, "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts [his/her] cake hole," both courtesy of Supernatural.

 

Not a line, but thanks to Vikings my boyfriend and I sometimes mock-attack each other (tickling, etc) while shouting "Blood eagle!" We're a little twisted, but it's okay.

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My Simpsons theft is, "Short answer yes with an if, long answer no with a but".  I even try to say it with a Reverend Lovejoy inflection drawing out the noooo.

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"If you're going to cry, cut and cry" from an early season of Project Runway about not letting your emotions keep you from the goal.

This, honest to God, is my work motto! So much of my life-lessons I've taken from pop culture lol.

 

One of my favorites is from an old episode of Law and Order (original recipe). 2 prep school kids (one wealthy, the other not) end up killing a teacher (or a coach...can't remember which). Both are pretty much equally guilty but the rich kid's parents make sure he doesn't implicate himself and the working-class kid refuses to implicate his so-called friend. The cops tell him that the other kid is putting all the blame on him so he'd better speak up. This kid says the most brilliant thing (although incredibly stupid as it pertains to his situation):

 

"I don't care what he does... I do what I do"

 

if that ain't a lesson for how to live your life, I don't know what is.

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I still use to this day the occasional 'Have Mercy'.

 

Also after watching Spartacus I will throw in a "Jupiter's cock'.

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From an old cartoon parodying Of Mice & Men: I'm going to hug it and squeeze it and call it George.

From MST3K: It's not so much the apocalypse. It's the humidity.

From Psych: You must be out of your damn mind.

From Life on Mars: Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time? (I ask myself this all the time when faced with an asshole administrator. So...daily.)

From Ashes to Ashes: Fire up the Quattro! (for turning on the PC)

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I have far too many quotes from The Simpsons and I honest to god use these continually.  Pretty much any real-life scenario can be addressed with a Simpsons quote.

 

"My freakin' ears!"   "Can I get out of your sight now?"   "It tastes like burning."   "I agree with you in theory. In theory, Communism works."   "It feels like a party in my mouth, and everyone's invited."

 

There are many, many more.  It's kind of embarrassing.

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From psych: "I've heard it both ways" and (because my brother's dog is named Gus) "Don't be a gloomy you." (He's a bichon and has never been gloomy afaik.)

From MST3K: "McCloud!"  and "Mitchell!" (which I do when any character is named Mitchell, or one is on the news.)

From SNL: "General Francisco Franco is still dead," but the Garrett Morris, For The Hearing Impaired version.

From Sound fx: "It's pop-y."  (From the early, live days of fx; this was a music review show with Orlando Jones, Karyn  Bryant, and Matthew Ostrom. Karyn was prone to call a track too pop or the above. Much teasing. Now my husband and I joke about stuff we hear with this.)

 

I know I get more looks for my funny-to-me sayings, so I'll think some more.

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From M*A*S*H I use "nerts" frequently. Thanks Frank Burns.

Speaking of Frank Burns my brother and I use "Frank Burns eats worms" and "You tell him ferret face" as conversation stoppers all the time.

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I'm pretty sure I could speak entirely in Golden Girls, Andy Griffith & Designing Women quotes for the rest of my life.

 

One of my particular favorites, from Designing Women, is "I'm about *thisclose* to gettin' in a tower and hurtin' some people."

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Does it count if it was a line inspired by a TV show? Thanks to Supernatural I've been known to say "Love me some Death"  (although the original line that inspired it is also known to be used by me frequently..."Love me some pie")

 

I've also been know to use a few Sienfeldisms..."No soup for you!"; "These pretzels are making me thirsty"; "Serenity now!"; "Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

 

I wish I had reason to use many of Ron Swanson's lines, love me some Ron Swanson (hee!)...

  • "It’s not that I’m a sore loser, it’s just that I prefer to win and when I don’t I get furious!"
  • "Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness."
  • “Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.”
  • “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”
  • “Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.”
  • “Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.”

  • “Honor: if you need it defined, you don’t have it.”

I could go on and on, but will just leave it at that.

 

I was super-pleased and proud of myself the other day when I used Raylan's line "You ever heard the saying, 'You run into an asshole in the morning, he's the asshole, but if you run into an asshole all day, you're the asshole.'"

 

Been trying to work in "Yes all men must die, but we are not men" for some time now...just haven't had the need yet.

Edited by DittyDotDot
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A few years ago, there was a local commercial for Rocky's Mushroom Farm with a cartoon mushroom that says at the end, "Bye bye! Buy mushrooms!" Now, when I tell my baby daughter to say "bye bye," I sometimes add, "buy mushrooms!'

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When our kids were little and we asked them to show someone something that they could do, or now when we ask the dogs to perform a trick, and they don't do it, one of us will inevitably start singing "Hello, my honey, hello, my baby......"

 

Extra props to anyone old enough to know what that means  :)

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"You ever heard the saying, 'You run into an asshole in the morning, he's the asshole, but if you run into an asshole all day, you're the asshole.'"

 

I use this (silently) all the time whenever someone tells me how all their kids teachers are awful and mean, or how every boss they've ever had is an asshole  who fired them unfairly. 

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Not from a show, but from an old commercial - a bad headache in our house is referred to as "a full-grown, adult-sized bangaroo."

 

From SNL

 

"I am not mean spirited and ill-tempered!  How would you like this pen in your neck?"  - a paraphrase from the old Bob Dole debate parody, my husband and I routinely use this on each other when one is cranky

 

"Never mind."  In Emily Litella's voice.

 

"Set a course . . . for love!" - with the salute and the Jean-Luc Picard voice, from Patrick Stewart's appearance

 

From South Park:

 

"Drugs are bad, mmmmkay."  We use this whenever someone gets a prescription.

 

"Oh! Jesus Christ!" - in Mr. Slave's voice

 

"I love you guys.  Except you, Kyle."  Sometimes we'll substitute an actual name of the party; sometimes not.

 

"I. Am. So. Pissed. Off." - Cartman

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From M*A*S*H I use "nerts" frequently. Thanks Frank Burns.

Lol, OSM MOM.  I say that alot too, especially when the kiddies are around.

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A couple of South Park ones I just remembered I do (I also use 'screw you guys, I'm going home') -- "But maaaahm!" to my mom, obviously, and "Bitch I roll with 12 gangs and we only commit hate crimes!" It's surprising how useful that one is.

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So many quotable Cartman lines. I also like to copy his whining sound 'meeeehhhh. Meeh.' I can't type it right but you all know what it sounds like.

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My personal favorite from Cartman is: "Respect ma authoritah!"

Wings was a surprisingly quotable show. Before Bart's "Fold faster than Superman on laundry day" there was Brian's "Fold up like origami." And Guest star Lillith's classic to Helen: "You know, it is permissible to have an unexpressed thought."

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The bit we actually use in conversation from South Park is the underpants gnomes scene where they're going back and forth about phase 1: underpants; phase 3:profits, and there is no phase 2.

 

A good one from Buffy when I'm feeling fried: Fire Bad. Tree pretty.

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Really, I quote half of Holy Grail way too much and could go on and on. Much like Brother Maynard explaining the number of the counting.

 

What you are saying makes no sense. It isn't possible to quote Holy Grail too much. Then again, I use many Monty Python quotes frequently. "But it is wafer thin," is a favorite, as is, going back to Grail, "Fetchez la vache!"

From an old cartoon parodying Of Mice & Men: I'm going to hug it and squeeze it and call it George.

 

I remember that cartoon and use that line, too!

From SNL

 

"Never mind."  In Emily Litella's voice.

 

Gilda Radner is always good for a quotable line. I still use "It's always something," and, "oh, Todd..." but with the name of whoever I'm talking to.

A good one from Buffy when I'm feeling fried: Fire Bad. Tree pretty.

I love that one! I'll also use it on my husband when he is making no sense at all.
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I always want to say "I'm outta heeeere" like Doug, but no one ever knows what I'm talking about.  (Here's Doug, in case you also don't know what I'm talking about:)

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Sometimes when I walk up to a soda or candy machine, I mutter under my breathe.  "So vending menace, we meet again."  from the Tick.

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One more, courtesy of none other than Peggy Hill, for when you finally find something you've been looking for -- "They're always in the last place you look, because after you find them, there's no reason to keep looking."

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Years ago, Tom Snyder on the Tomorrow show, used to say "you wonder what goes through their minds," something I use often.
 

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"Now, what shall I wear to answer the telephone?" When I can't decide what to wear.

 

Also, I tend to irritate my husband by answering the phone like this "The ... residence, the lady of the house speaking."

 

Both quotes are from Keeping Up Appearances which is the most quotable show ever. 

Edited by DiamondDoll
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@DiamondDoll, love your Keeping Up Appearances quotes! Hyacinth is eminently quotable. At my house, you're expected to stagger backward if something is especially beautiful or impressive. Instead of calling someone gay, it's considered polite to comment that he or she "takes prizes in embroidery." And if we're excitedly awaiting the arrival of guests, someone might announce, "I shall be discovered at the pianoforte." 

 

Also, from time to time, my husband and I break out this little exchange, compliments of Onslow and Daisy: 

"We made love only recently."

"It was MARCH!"

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Hee. This is so much fun.

Some other ones from SNL that my husband and I use all the time.

One of us comments, "That was a long time ago." The other says, "Yes, it was eighteen months ago."

"You know what?" - "Chicken butt."

"You know why?" - "Chicken thigh."

We own a parrot, so often substitute "parrot" for "chicken."

"Stick with me and you'll be wearing gold-plated diapers."

From South Park, we also use "Respect my authoritah!" alot.

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Also from SNL- Mike Myers as Dieter from Sprockets- "Touch my monkey" and "Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!"

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