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Lambie

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  1. Lambie

    S06.E13 & E14: Tell-All

    I like Asuelo. He has a good heart. But he is definitely off. My ex sister in law had a summer fling with a guy from Puerto Rico who didn’t speak English. She ended up getting pregnant and marrying him. He never got a job, never learned English. Who knows what level of Spanish she actually knew. I always thought he was off bc he would spend money on weird things like flashing keychains with the Puerto Rican flag, stickers for his car, he’d interrupt conversations to show people these things like a child would. They got divorced, he went back to Puerto Rico, never was involved in the kids life and YEARS later or came out that he wasn’t just illiterate in English, he was in Spanish as well. Lss, Asuelo is a prince and he seems to want to try. Kalani will torture him emotionally until he can’t take it anymore. This season is a cautionary tale of how a fling can completely fuck up your life (Olga and Kalani).
  2. Lambie

    S01.E07: Part 7

    I thought I'd be really disappointed with only 1 episode focusing on the aftermath of the escape but it was movie length. I really did get a sense of the slow realization that Sweat and Fat Fuck weren't going to make it and Tilly being recognized for the damaged person she is, even right up to the last shot of her pondering what I imagine to be her future, her actions, and one last "party." I would have liked more on her though, especially with Bonnie Hunt. I loved this series. The casting was phenomenal. Patricia Arquette blew me away in every scene. Eric Lange (who I had never heard of) did just as an impressive job transforming into a simple, working class guy who seemed to love his wife. I don't know anything about the real Lyle other than what I've read here so I don't know how committed he actually was to Tilly but his physical embodiment of the character was incredible.
  3. Lambie

    S27.E02: Premiere Week: Part 2

    The "celebrity" famous for her IG bikini pics and selfies is crying because she always lacked self confidence? This is where the world is headed.
  4. Lambie

    S02.E06: Trust a Try

    Okay, I’m a sap and desperately want to believe in love, but I actually was touched by the date with Rachel and Jon where he proposed. I thought it was very cute that he took her there and I thought it was very funny when explained that that’s where “Arthur and Guinevere chilled out.” Maybe there is something it’s crazy kids. I hope it works out. Everyone else is a fucking mess. I don’t even know what to say about Ricky and giving this other woman money and not letting her know that he wasn’t there for her but she’s totally on board as long as it gets her to America. His poor, poor daughter. Her father looks like a stupid, horny asshole. That chick is like the woman on Seinfeld: she looks totally different depending on the light. I can’t tell if she’s pretty or not! I hate Jesse, I really do. He’s a petulant and vain child. But when he said that, I really do you think Darcy has a drinking problem. She always is the slurring her words and her voiceovers.
  5. Lambie

    S02.E05: Seeds of Doubt

    I had the joy of watching this episode with someone who's never heard of the show and doesn't watch reality tv. I felt important for the first time in awhile explaining all the dynamics to him. I lived in Middlesex country for 8 years. I was so trying to place the butch-her that they went to. The steaks looked terrible but I gave her a pass because my friends and I just stayed in an airBNB and nothing cooked the way we expected it to. He is a raging psychopath but Darcey now knows his kryptonite: Baby Carrot Cake! She is cracker jacks crazy but she deserves so much better. She's beautiful, has ambition, and would make someone age appropriate VERY happy. She's fun and a lover. She just needs to give up on the idea of having a bayyyyyyybeeeeee with a frat boy.
  6. I think Karine is definitely on some poor quality street drugs. She’s dead behind the eyes, bad skin, puffy, and not even a little giggly or joyful. The sex toys are definitely for web cam activities. I wonder what poor road she’s gone down since Paul left her. She’s so young. She could have found a better way out of her situation. ETA: does anyone remnever the movie, “Hostel,” where at first the foreign girls at the Hostel are smoking hot but as the story unfolds and the reality of the situation becomes obvious the lead character sees them nor they are: strung out, drug addicted, and completely devoid of soul.
  7. Lambie

    S03.E13: Tell-All Part 2

    I’d hate to think Nicole’s mom is part of this ridiculousness but the beauty shop thing is such an obvious zany spin-off for Nicole and Azan. He wouldn’t agree to marry her but he did agree to do another season if he got his vanity project. I actually thought he was scamming her even worse than what he did. I thought I heard the reception planner say it was $300 per head/10 people per table and then Azan told her it was $300 per table. But you guys heard it correctly. That reception would have been so gorgeous. I would have loved to see the wedding. I was so Team Annie until she made fun of Anfisa. I don’t care what Annie did or didn’t do before she came to the US. She shouldn’t care what Anfisa did or didn’t do either.
  8. What did Nicole’s mom say about *other* guys she was talking to out of the country? I get being single and insecure but has this become her new normal? It’s so sad how developmentally challenged she is. Molly scares the hell out of me. I get the fear of being alone in your 40s, I live it every day. But she’s out of her fucking mind. The way she sat there nodding knowingly while her poor daughter explained why Luis needed to be a better person made me ill. Those are things YOU should say, not your poor daughter. Luis is winning everything right now.
  9. Lambie

    S05.E10: Breaking Point

    Are we sure that was actually a woman Annie was talking to? I thought it was David in drag and Ashley was one of his other personalities coming out.
  10. Lambie

    S05.E10: Breaking Point

    I am so angry that meth head now gets to blame Aika for their fertility issues when he was the broke-ass LIAR who led her to believe they'd have a family. That doctor was an asshole, too. Yes, fertility drops in the 30s but Aika CAN get pregnant. That spermless asshole can't. My heart broke for her when they were walking out of the clinic and her voiceover while getting loaded into that Jeep with the shopping cart on the roof (WTF was that?) said that she "died" over the news. The world will be a better place without another kid that Josh doesn't support or has any contact with but I can't stand that his entitled, smug, stupid face got to spin it back on her. Luis is psychotic. Sociopathic. I always forget the difference but he is a scary, scary man.
  11. Lambie

    S05.E09: Wake Up Call

    Nikki is beautiful and smart but I don't believe for a second she's not on in on Chris' scam. They commit to sponsor a woman who they both know David Masco is not capable of supporting. They have this "Thailand Fantasy" business. A stranded, somewhat-Americanized yet still very exotic Annie is a potential commodity to them. They aren't worried about David Mascot at all. They want to keep Annie around but in check so if when David is in a long-term rehab facility or dead she will be in debt to them. Aiko can (and should) RUN. That conversation about his vasectomy was insane. He has no plan or resources to try to reverse it. She's 34. She needs to go back on the hunt and she'll find someone else soon. She's gorgeous and well spoken. She doesn't need that con artist leading her down a trail of disappointment.
  12. I am truly worried for Annie. Either she is in on the joke (ie, knowing Chris will pimp her out for "Thai Massages" as soon as she is desperate enough) or this girl is in for a world of trouble. I really wonder if the Annie/Mascot David and the Aika story were sort of rewritten after the editors got ahold of the footage. Both were painted out to be the cliche, demanding, "I want a Porsche and a 10 thousand dollar purse" to us seriously wondering what will happen to them.
  13. Lambie

    S05.E05: Family First

    While I did not see Evelyn's appeal AT ALL when the show first started she has become my favorite train wreck! On a season with Nicole that's hard to top! I just love watching her head literally explode when David disagrees with her that she isn't getting her Fundie Fantasy wedding. She has the craziest 100-yard stare when things aren't going her way. It's fascinating. The Thai massage comment was nuts. Insane. Wildly offensive on a show that's so messed up anyway. I really thought it was a joke but there was no laugh. And WTF, the dude seriously doesn't even have a US bank account right now? What on earth made him think he could afford this?!
  14. Lambie

    Evelyn & David: Who Let Them in Here?

    I think she's boring as hell but I'm fascinated with how much her dad looks like Dave Grohl.
  15. I'll give Larry a potential benefit of the doubt: I dated someone with the most Italian last name ever but his mother was Jewish and he was raised in the Jewish faith. He ate bacon though. And shellfish. But still... My heart breaks for Karine. She is smart enough to know that Paul is a psychotic loser and I loved when she was telling him off. But then she realized she was losing her potential visa and said she forgave him. No woman should have to suffer that to escape poverty. Abby seems smarter and is definitely a hustler but she's in the same boat. She may be more savvy -- getting laptops and iPads -- but she's at the will of 2 disgusting men to get ahead. I'm not sure what to think about Jenny. She's a robot, "yes, my love." "no, my love." She knows the game well enough though. If she does last with Larry it will be literally to the day she can get divorced and not lose her green card status. Patrick doesn't bother me. Men run shirtless around here all the time. I think he's making the best out of a crappy situation not knowing about the boyfriend and he's trying to win her over. I actually think they're cute together. I'd like one of these moronic couples to be somewhat genuine. I love how Courtney thinks she's in charge yet that doofus has let her down at every turn (the airport, being late to meet her, taking her to a beauty pageant..." She acted like she *finally* deemed him worthy for sex when really that's been number one on her agenda from the jump.
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