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Snookums

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  1. Snookums

    S03.E16: Chapter Fifty-One: Big Fun

    It's always better the devil you know. Veronica's family has always been fucked up and horrible (second only to Cheryl) and it's the only way she's ever known love growing up. If you're in a crime family loyalty and a united front are going to be the most important things, and that's what they've always fallen back on. Even during the slow-mo trainwreck that was Hiram's obsession with Archie they were a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad family. So when Hiram announces that since Hermione's tried to off him twice, which in any other family would be a signal that things have gone seriously off the rails, of course Veronica's upset. Their policy, in its entirety, was Double Down on Bad Choices because otherwise you're admitting to what you've allowed to happen and actively participated in, with no positive result. So what if Mom tried to kill you, Dad? You've put us in mortal danger countless times! Now you're just being selfish in walking away! No matter how bad it's been, having one of the players abruptly quit this game must feel like somebody coming up to you and announcing that nothing you've ever thought of as yours ever was, and you've got to start over naked, with nothing.
  2. Snookums

    S03.E16: Chapter Fifty-One: Big Fun

    Plays the organ 'cause you're preachin', girl! The strength of this insane show is the chemistry among the cast members; if they never speak the writers are leaving money on the table! So, WhosThatGirl, you must admit that was enough Bughead to sate even your tender heart! Sigh...they're so cute together. Singing, solving mysteries, burning down childhood homes (Betty's expression while clearly thinking "got it right this time" was priceless) and getting roped into being onstage out of nowhere. They can do it all! So, the episode! I am old and grey and full of sleep and am about twenty years out of date when it comes to hip musicals. I remember watching Heathers as a film, for God's sake. So while I probably didn't get a lot of the in jokes I have to say that when Riverdale does a musical number, they commit all the way. Dancing and singing in the hallways to make their case and that's just the beginning! Were they really about to go full Teenager Three Way on the stage during Toni's number? Holy crap! If we wanted proof Kevin is fully submerged into Farm ideology, the idea of having a co-director who is using rehearsals as recruitment/blackmail gathering sessions should do the trick. I hope Evelyn's horrific interpretation of "Method" was a joke and nobody thinks that's how that acting discipline really works; even without the whole "marriage in the SOQU chapel" thing that was enraging. NO, weirdo, I am not telling you my secrets, nor anybody else on this stage, thanks. (Also, I can name exactly not one costume designer/wardrobe mistress who would be cool with a bunch of teenagers spilling blue jello shots down their costumes while getting them sweaty and gross at some teen party. Evelyn you are the worst.) That bizarre rite, by the way, actually has precedence in real-world cult activities: marriage or bonding to somebody whom the leader picks out for you. Google Reverend Moon if you want a really huge example. Archie just enjoying himself onstage and having an age-appropriate relationship discussion was a breath of fresh air. Not only did he not have to play dumb but he and Josie actually pulled off the idea that they could be a couple. So of course Ashleigh is leaving. Sigh...we can't have nice things in Riverdale. Reggie is fast becoming the center of sanity and realistic thinking in this whirlpool and just stop and think about that for a second. He's got crack comic timing, plus he's smart enough to say Veronica, I don't want to keep hoping this is something that it isn't. Good for him. And Veronica. Of course she's devastated by her parents splitting up: it's always better the devil you know, and the bizarro world of her family was actually a bulwark against the outside forces that make up her life. It's not that she doesn't know that The Dreadful Hs aren't terrible people who have tried to destroy her and each other all their lives; it's that she keeps hoping things will be different. And since her parents programmed her since birth to put family above all this is like somebody coming up to you and saying the ground no longer exists. Speaking of terrible parents, hey Edgar! The show finally revealed your existence, plus managed to give Evelyn a microsecond of sympathy: of all the parents in this town, of all the terrible, terrible things they've raised their kids to believe and do, I really think Evelyn wins the prize for worst. Even Hiram could probably be talked around out of killing Veronica in the end: Edgar would probably murder Evelyn for looking at him wrong.
  3. Snookums

    S03.E15: Chapter Fifty: American Dreams

    When Gladys said she was going to enroll Jellybean in school I thought "why?"
  4. Snookums

    S03.E15: Chapter Fifty: American Dreams

    Well, I'd never argue that either of them should get Parent of the Year, or even a You Kinda Tried lapel pin, frankly, but what I liked about the scene is that it gave both actors a small scene to show facets of their characters that aren't usually used with all the crazy plot twists swirling around, and how it showed that these two people weren't always this way. Once they were just two kids in love, and it all went wrong and kept going wrong until the craziest shit kept happening and happening and now they're middle aged and have kids and one married a serial killer and the other's an ex-gang leader who's the sheriff now... And our kids are DATING, for God's sake, and how the hell did I make all these bad choices? Which was the one that led to all the others? I didn't want to be this way. I put tons of energy into trying not to be the way I am, but I can't change back to the young girl/boy I was, who saw you in the school hallway and felt my heart melt and knew everything led to you, and it still does, but what I did for all those years is standing between us and we can't reach past it. FP and Alice can't change or excuse all their bad, bad, fuckups. They've left permanent marks on their children and have been bad, careless people for a lot of years. But they weren't always this way.
  5. Snookums

    S03.E15: Chapter Fifty: American Dreams

    Me watching episode: So far so good, levels of crazy steady and holding. *Fred/FP scene* Me: Oh... oh. *crumples to floor, tears leaking out* Sometimes writers get a scene right for a reason they couldn't possibly know, the worst kind of correct. At least Skeet Ulrich got to say goodbye to someone he had no notion was leaving. But about the rest of the episode! *draws deep, shaky breath* Okay, so this one is about bad timing, and trying to fake good timing, and how you can fool some of the people all of the time (Archie being president of this particular club), but not all the people. Jughead already had his suspicions so Betty's news and Fang's/Sweet Pea's confirmation of Gladys's nefarious dealings weren't the body blow finding out about Jelly Bean is going to be. It was more along the lines of "Yeah, had an idea that this was what it seemed to be rather than what my mom is pretending it is" and he (thank God) doesn't dither about shutting it down. LOOOOOVED he and Betty's twin smirks as they plot world domination. I'm very glad the show remembered Betty and Veronica know each other and that Vee didn't hesitate (well she did a bit, but because it was bad news) to tell her about Gladys. Of course she didn't mention her own role, but let's face it, what Veronica did was to try to get her parents OUT of the drug trade, which is exactly what Jug and Betty want to do too. So I can't really blame her for that one. Archie's Red Paladin thing was reallllly dragging on, almost as much as the whole Edgar Evernever reveal, so if it means wrapping up this particular thread, then I am fine pretending that these Fizzle Rock-riddled morons all got in the ring with someone who's been training in this sport (some wearing full leather outfits) and got their asses handed to them one by one while Archie endures ten beatings in a row and still isn't mumbling about socks and pudding in a cranial trauma clinic somewhere, ending in not one fatality or permanent injury, apparently. When the real Gargoyle King hears about this it's all going to blow up again but what the hell. (Speaking of, since Hiram printed up those things, who did he give them to, exactly? Because if it was to the Warden and Tall Boy directly why was the actual GK okay with that? And if he gave the rest to the King how is it he doesn't know who the guy is?) (Also, did Josie know about any of this? Did Archie drop by her house for his usual round of vigorous boning post violent multiple attacks on his tender person?) Archie queries exactly none of this, of course, being too busy going "Sure, I'll trust you about this boxing ring/Fizzle Rock and other malfeasance-heavy activity drop, Mr. Lodge! Nothing bad has happened when I listen to you!" Honestly, Archie, this is the man who tried to have you killed, okay? It's time to get on the Clue Bus! Cheryl and Toni, thank you for demonstrating that sexual connection does not automatically equal long-term compatibility. They may care about each other, but Cheryl's bizarre upbringing means she's deeply damaged and sees love as a kind of romantic hostage taking, while Toni is understandably uncomfortable being treated as a Pekingese at the Waldorf-Astoria. I did enjoy the return of Cheryl's cape/spider pin/bossing around of Kevin, though. I like Cheryl best when she's just queening around spreading Cheryl's Demands far and wide. Alice and FP had a little moment there when the writers actually remembered they were in love. It was nice to see Madchen and Skeet get that scene where they go man, we just never get a break, do we? Veronica and Reggie. The problem when you both have good points to make but they're on different pieces of paper. Veronica is correct in pointing out she's not exactly rolling in the dough and what Reggie's asking doesn't make sense in any realistic way. Plus, it's not like she forced or bribed him into helping her: his reasons included wanting to make her see him as a romantic possibility and sticking it to his dad. But he's got a point too: he really has given up a lot and Veronica does tend to string people along and try to make amends through material means. It's always hard to realize that somebody just doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about them. Conversely, it's tough to grasp that a person who genuinely feels for you can't dial that back no matter how much you reason with them or try to fix the superficial aspects of the problem.
  6. Snookums

    S03.E14: Chapter Forty-Nine: Fire Walk with Me

    Remember when Weatherbee was throwing fits about the Serpents and insisting they wear polos and khakis and shit? And when Mayor McCoy was being all Just Say No about G&G? And now it's all "enjoy burning your hands kids! Also, I will throw a fit about a gang fight but not a dead eyed psycho who should be in a padded room on all the Thorazine HANGING A KID UPSIDE DOWN FROM A STAIRWELL, AND THEN DROPPING HIM." Fangs would have died if Jug and that other Serpent hadn't broken his fall. And then! Jug goes to his father, the sheriff, about this, and nobody says "maybe this nutjob should be arrested for attempted murder and assault before he actually kills somebody [else, because who knows what this lunatic has already done]?" No, Grown Adult Sheriff HP Jones just tells his minor son to figure out a way to handle it. This isn't a fight over who sold the most band candy! That kid is a potential killer!
  7. Snookums

    S03.E14: Chapter Forty-Nine: Fire Walk with Me

    Wowsers, okay, that's probably the sanest this crackers and nuts show is ever going to be again, and I will say that they made progress on various story lines AND had some characters actually interact, so here's hoping that the writers are inching their way back to the strengths of Riverdale--good young actors with great chemistry having a fun time with crazy circumstances. I think one problem, that really started to grow like a mutant yeast spore during the whole Archie/Hiram nonsense, was that in the first season the kids and the adults had a wacky yet comprehensible connection. That is, the kids had all these secrets and problems and mysteries that they were working on on their own, while relating to the adults on the show in a least semi-recognizable way as parents and children. The adults may have been bad parents or insane or drunk or overachieving, but none of them seemed to insist on dragging the teenagers outside their own sphere, and it gave the show the juice and tension it needed. Now, though, everybody either seems to forget they even have parents and/or children, or when they do remember, it's so out of left field as to be ludicrous. Setting aside the Archie/Hiram slow motion car wreck, look at this episode! Principal Weatherby cares about a gang fight but not a raving sociopath nearly murdering another student? Pops is now some kind of babysitter who doesn't call the cops when an underage truant minor is just left in his restaurant all day, or when his underage boss sets up a bar AND CASINO, complete with muscle, in the basement? Said casino is patronized by both sides of the Riverdale underworld because apparently there is NO other bar or any other place of adult entertainment in town, even though that was Hiram's original friggin' goal in the first damn place? (Right, Penelope?) Alice actually thinks Betty is going to listen to her like they've ever had any kind of normal relationship? The one true parental moment was of course, the heart wringing moments with Fred (oh, Luke Perry) and Archie actually discussing their bizarro world and whirlpool of lunacy that is their lives in a way that felt caring and unforced. (Hey, speaking of which, what the hell is with Archie getting stabbed/bear swiped/sliced in the same damn spot every time? Do the ineffable forces of the universe hate the left side of his torso that much?) Anyway. Okay, so! Kevin. Seriously. You'd better be undercover (and if you are, props to your level of dedication) but if not, go and join this cult and get yourself killed for all I care. You aren't the first person to feel abandoned and heartbroken, but you ARE in a much, much better position than most to know how deeply ridiculous the idea of The Farm helping you is. (Again, it's not really that Kevin is without reasons to feel vulnerable and adrift. He's lost Moose, Moose's dad tried to kill them both, his dad recently remarried, and so on. It's that the actor never gets a chance to play any in between states. There's Point A My First Love Leaves and then Point Z I NOW WORSHIP EDGAR and nothing connecting the two.) Honestly, when Betty went to Josie to talk about this entire debacle I spent half the scene wondering why--I completely forgot that they're stepsiblings now. That's how fragmented these story lines are. Alice, meet Old Betty! So good to see her back! While some might find her burning down the house extreme, I don't blame her a bit. I do wonder, though, how fast she set that fire and left, seeing as Alice walked in right when it was getting started. Fire spreads much, much faster than most people realize and in another five minutes the entire place would have been engulfed. Veronica and Reggie continue to be a terrific comedy team. I didn't realize how much her endless parental woes story needs his crack timing until last week when he wasn't around. His devotion to giant bow ties, plaid pants and random cultural slang really leavens the lump of this dragging thread. Toni deciding she's tired of being a kept woman is honestly refreshing. I liked watching the scenes with her and Cheryl playing the "of COURSE nothing's wrong" game familiar to anybody who's been angry at a significant other. Cheryl's losing her sense of ownership and that's never good. This entire episode seemed to be about trying to at least have some threads of the connection between the characters that made it so special in the first place: the lounge, Jughead and Betty telling Archie they'll help him, Veronica paying Toni to be her Girl Strike Force, and so on. Her banning Gladys and Hiram seemed to be saying that the kids are taking back their own space.
  8. To be fair, people who have been in cults, and their loved ones, say that they totally changed, and in many cases, lost many personality traits due to being subsumed into this hive mind, so that's not even inaccurate, but it is boring to watch! Crazy Alice used to get on my nerves but not because she was uninteresting, even when her actions didn't really track from one episode to the next. But nowadays all she does is drone on about how she's freeing herself with organic milk and oatmeal cookies with that placid smile and it's BORING. Which will be about the twelfth of never, since once again the show seems to have forgotten that Alice and FP even know each other, much less have a secret son and fraughtness and drama around the whole thing. I'm not too worried, since most of these mobsters in general and Elio in particular are just as dumb as a box of hair. They make Archie seem like a Rhodes scholar. By the time they get around to trying to go after him Archie will have taken up skydiving or skeet shooting or something and be dating Evelyn.
  9. Ugh, you guys... Luke Perry has apparently suffered a massive stroke. No details are out there yet that I've found, but...ugh.
  10. Okay, so this is some bizarro world blend of Scientology, Apocalypse Now, and various 50s JD movies with lots of boring pawn moving in between (with a skosh of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome for spice!) You go on with your bad self, show. Once again, these crazy ass multiple storylines means that characters who should be deeply involved with each other never even speak. Does Fred notice Archie's latest near-death experience? Does Jughead help Betty out beyond the most perfunctory advice? Does Kevin even exist beyond being the latest in a series of betrayals making Betty feel totally alone? Will Veronica get any help from her latest boyfriend who's mysteriously NOWHERE? Will Betty and Veronica ever even speak again? Didn't Keller get friggin' MARRIED to JOSIE'S MOTHER like, a week ago? You get the idea. While the actors do their best with the slivers of reality they're working in, the fact is Riverdale has splintered into various pocket universes, all of which are apparently parallel to each other and never meet except to branch off into some insane Mandelbrot set of plot machinations. The entire Pretty Poison thing was so damn stupid and existed only to set up Cheryl and Toni's inevitable and long overdue breakup, but it can't be just that, it also has to spiral into this crazed dredging of all the fifty thousand gangs in Riverdale led by You Will Never Be Brando Teenager or whatever the hell that was. Jughead, naturally, says barely a word to Betty (who, as Serpent Queen, should theoretically be taking an interest, right?) and nothing to his supposed best friend and recent traveling companion/rescued from death AGAIN, Archie. Archie, meanwhile, is refreshingly himself--that is, a rock-stupid darling half-grown Boxer puppy who cannot accumulate any memory or experience no matter how hard he tries. He leaps from a reasonable outlet for his anger--boxing training--to deciding he needs a match right after Keller tells him he's suicidally unready to come anywhere near such a setup to agreeing to THROW A FIGHT for a Mob guy in exactly four minutes! Even for him that's a record. Josie, who hey! Got lines this week although apparently not a mother, at least tries to talk sense into him, but it's Archie. Luckily, Archie is still protected by a bemused God so not only does he not get flat out murdered in the ring, he continues his tradition of hot sex with a loving, gorgeous woman right after being beaten half to death. Betty: man, if there was going to be a case made for why her father seems to be the better bet parenting wise, this episode was it. The sendup of Scientology was pretty much moved from subtext to BIG BOLD LETTERS at this point; I would like to know why Alice, of all people, isn't connecting the extremely obvious points between The Farm and the G&G game, but she's clearly full on delusional at this point. (The one thing I actually agreed with was selling that house. Not to finance Alice's nuttery, of course, but frankly they must need the money at this point! Does she even have a job anymore?) Veronica's storyline was lots of running in place, really. I like Gina Gershon and her devilish ways--she's the first evil character who seems to grasp that it's easier to control teenagers if you Den Mother them rather than try to pretend they're adults, but I'm really unclear on why she's there at all. She seemed to be doing just fine in Cleveland and suddenly she wants to burn down Riverdale with Jellybean by her side or whatever? Just wear your cool-ass scarf/hair feather combo and reach for higher things, woman.
  11. Snookums

    S03.E12: Chapter Forty-Seven: Bizarrodale

    I found it intensely hilarious that while all the other parents were calling their "Having Better Sex Than You Ever Did" kids and going "LOCK THE DOORS! ARE YOU OKAY???" Penelope just rings up Cheryl and goes "get your bow and kill this asshole." In a bizarre and horrible way they totally get each other.
  12. Snookums

    S03.E12: Chapter Forty-Seven: Bizarrodale

    Did anyone catch all the Patricia Highsmith references? Not only Highsmith college, but the "community college theater production of The Talented Mister Ripley" and Penelope telling Cheryl "this is the price of salt."
  13. Snookums

    S03.E12: Chapter Forty-Seven: Bizarrodale

    Heh heh heh. For an episode titled Bizarrodale, this was least chaotic one in a while, while still being fun crazy! Nice to see Moose, Josie, and Reggie getting more to do. Josie especially killed it--when she's talking about how much she's given up to stay Mature and Focused and how it didn't matter in the end and she has no idea what to do she really sold the scene. Especially when you think about the earlier line about how she couldn't ask her mom for a ride because if she didn't get in there'd be no end to her mother's nitpicking over what they could have done differently. I appreciated the theme of the episode--that you can really try and be really good and it may not get you what you want--being taken seriously with her character. And KJ was great as a supportive friend. I really wished they hadn't kissed because I was so digging the idea that these two could be really good friends, have a person in their lives that's important without romantic feelings but just as special. Also, this means Archie has dated THREE of the four Pussycats (of course, Val and Melody have vanished into the ether, but still) and if I was Josie I'd be doing a head tilt at that idea. However, they did have really good chemistry and Archie's asking "can I kiss you?" shows that consent can be hella sexy. Moving on to the Bumbling Not Bank Robbery: I wish this story had some more screen time! Because Reggie and Veronica make a great comedy duo of two people who are in too deep but can't back out now, and Ronnie's constant "plan plan plan as things get crazier" while Reggie asks if breaking kneecaps is a real thing is honestly delightful! Poor Reggie, he wants to be tough (his earnest joy in being able to "say I got shot!" while Vee gently points out the entire idea is that NOBODY KNOWS THAT THEY DID THIS was hands-down adorable) and his comment about his dad's handing out shiners like they're his allowance underlined that. (And frankly Mr. Mantle better watch out. Because his kid is GIGANTIC and has been taught all the wrong lessons about physical violence. Someday he's going to hit back.) Okay, somebody help me out here--is Gladys working for Hiram as his liaison in this deal? Because that means Hiram's buying the factory? That he owns? From his wife? Who doesn't seem to know that, right? And Hiram found out about this while lying in a coma? Or is Gladys double crossing Hiram and working for Edgar or whoever or for herself or what? And she found out about this sale from Toledo? CONFUSED IS WHAT I AM. And why is Gladys so happy to be back in Riverdale while recruiting her preteen daughter against her own father and brother? If there's anything Riverdale has by way of an embarrassment of riches, it is shitty, horrible parents; as much as I love Gina Gershon, this is the fifteenth cherry on this sundae. While I'm glad Josie and Kevin are happy for their folks (and Tom and Sierra have a believable "found my old flame again" heat) I do wish they'd at least ask about their other current, living parents. Kevin's mom is in a war zone, for God's sake! I'm not suggesting they be invited to the wedding but a single line or so about the fact that these kids are about to be stepsiblings while not even bringing them up seems weird. But never mind that, onto the Plot That Will Not Die: G&G, The Re-Uppening! All I can say is that finding out who the 'real' Gargoyle King is better be worth it after all these shenanigans. While my heart went out to Moose's dad, the show once again does not stick the landing by handing this huge, twisted revelation to an character we've just barely seen and can't have a real connection with. Plus, while it was established that he was exposed to this craziness by the SOQM, how on earth did he know anything about the Midnight Club and Ascension Night? He wasn't a member and it's a sure bet Hiram wasn't recruiting him for this bullshit. Blah. Honestly, every time they cut back to this story I was "oh, right, this." But the actors were having a blast, which was fun to watch, and man oh man, I don't know who Nathalie Boltt is married to but I assume it's the costume designer. Her outfits in this were TO DIE FOR, especially that getup she had on at the initial meeting with the velvet poppies. Perfectly over the top while staying on point thematically. The cyanide antidote (loved how everybody side-eyed her at the same time until she just said "oh please" and downed hers, hee!) and asking Cheryl if she had her bow really gave her a bunch of fun notes to play. Cheryl is Cheryl, again, and while I'm glad Toni called her out on her self-centeredness (outing anybody is wrong, but a minor teenager whose dad is CLEARLY not down with this? She could have, and nearly did, get him killed) that whole thing was so After School Special that even Madeline's flawless line reads couldn't cover the seams completely. And frankly, her ability to say what I'm thinking IRT that nasty ass bunker cot makes me forgive her for a lot. This annoys me too! One, because as you say, it makes bisexuality seem like a cowardly dodge rather than a sexual identity and two, they HAVE gay characters! Kevin is gay! Always has been! Toni says she's bi but since she's nothing but Cheryl's Girlfriend these days, it doesn't seem to really count.
  14. Snookums

    S03.E11: Chapter Forty-Six: The Red Dahlia

    If I had to guess, I'd say something along the lines of: Penelope helps Hal escape, and he promptly kills her and frames Betty. (Because, again, Betty was pretty openly accusing Nell of being a serial killer all on her own, even though, again, there is absolutely no real reason why Betty would care about this at all.) Hal says he'll help Betty flee and they can be a father/daughter serial killer avenging duo or something ,and Jughead has to help prove her innocence and get Hal shot seventeen times in the town square on camera so this crap can finally be over with. He will be assisted by fake Chic, who was Hal's protege after his fleeing through the woods bit but Hal betrays him so Fake Chic betrays him right back. Alice, in the meantime, will try to recruit the Farm cultees to help capture Hal, only to find out that Edgar is Hal's fraternal twin and end up killing him too. He'll try to rat out her own murder (remember that?) but they will pin it on Dead Hal and the season will end happily, with Josie and Cheryl singing a duet at the speakeasy while Ronnie wears fifty thousand dollars worth of couture as she issues Pops his fourth IOU in lieu of a paycheck and pours shots for all the teenagers and Reggie dances the Charleston with Nana, wearing matching plaids.
  15. Snookums

    S03.E11: Chapter Forty-Six: The Red Dahlia

    VERY good typo, because besides the absolute ludicrousness of a man who's been dead as long as Hiram's been in the hospital being the shooter, can we talk about how HP has no sense of smell? He's in a small, un-ventilated room with a corpse of over 24 hours under the bed and doesn't sniff anything amiss? Not to mention the idea that Dumb and Dumber (that is, Sweet Pea and Fangs) managed to apparently mop up the blood and brains all over the place. I mean, I get that HP didn't buy their story but this is a guy who has buried many, many bodies. He knows that odor. Luckily, Dr. Ghoul whathisface over at the morgue will obviously have no problem doctoring up a death certificate or three. Well! I appreciated this one in much the same way I appreciated the horror movie one last season, in that it decided to be silly in a particular way and used that to (ridiculously) wrap up a bunch of stuff and set the stage for further follies and grotesques. No, none of it made a lick of sense and as WhosThatGirl points out, the character dime-turns are starting to take on the aspect of a coked-out ballerina dancing Swan Lake in triple time, but what the hell. It's Riverdale. Okay, so...let's start with how apparently the writers decided to have characters that haven't interacted in WEEKS suddenly depend on each other for life-shattering revelations, double-cross setups, and heartfelt talks. Veronica, for starters. Setting aside the whole "I must find out who shot the dad I hate" thing as something she cares about this week for a second, why on earth would she go to Jughead and Jughead alone? It would make more sense, since she has barely interacted with either of them in weeks, to go to BETTY, and perhaps put both of them on the case that way. Betty could still bow out when she did and have Jug finish things up, but Vee and Jug aren't especially close and never have been. I guess she thought since she was already paying for Serpent protection hiring Jug just made sense in a keeping it in-house way, but there wasn't any dialogue that made that clear. She basically handed over almost all her cash for this and in the end didn't even want the truth. (Speaking of Vee and her apparent inability to get how assets and debts work, how much longer do you think Pops is going to put up with this? Is he even getting paid these days?) Of course, Ronnie's problem is not only one of her dad, but her mother, who this week decided to do a lot of shit and end up right back where she started but neck-deep in debt to some mysterious buyer or other (HELLO EDGAR WE KNOW IT'S YOU.) I honestly couldn't work out if Hiram was boning the water studies woman, or if Hermione just thought she was, or was deliberately throwing Jug off or what. Plus she now has to get rid of Minetta's corpse AGAIN. She's like Veronica 1.0 or something--all her schemes just keep exploding in her face like so many Fizzle Rocks. Okay, Betty! This entire "entranced by a killer" thing is getting boring as well as insulting. You are smarter than this and having the character play dumb is painful to watch. I think both of the actors are doing a fine job, Hal managing to make his voice and body language echo back to when he was Betty's beloved, normal dad and bulwark against Alice's nuttery. It's just so annoying to have Betty confronted, over and over again, with how her dad keeps betraying her and seemingly just skating over it to focus on Penelope, who up until now barely interested her at all, only to drop it with the specious reasoning that maybe all murderers aren't guilty or whatever that rot was. (Plus, she never got an answer to her perfectly good question as to why this so-called runoff ONLY AFFECTED YOUNG WOMEN). Maybe it's supposed to be some kind of transference thing or whatever but again, they aren't giving her any dialogue or moments to support that. (As far as Penelope goes, why is she so eager to open a brothel when she's already running one? I guess space and rent could be issues. Also, isn't The Five Seasons supposed to be swanky? Why are they okay with this low-rent illegal shit going down? Also, I buy the idea of her poisoning her husband then hauling his deadweight body up atop a syrup barrel and setting up that whole hanging scenario about as much as I do the entire Tallboy thing.) Speaking of hauling deadweight, hey Josie! You are stronger than you look, girl, since you apparently carried a drunk and belligerent Archie all the way home, upstairs to his bathroom, and dunked him in his tub while wearing a full length dress and heels! In the middle of the day! Plus fixing him nourishing drinks and giving him tough love and such, even though, again, it seems like these two have barely even spoken since he got back. She did help break him out of Juvie, but so did Kevin and he was nowhere to be found. Must be boxing with his dad or something. Is it summer? Is school still even in session? Is there still even a school? Why is it pouring rain during Jughead's scenes and at no other time? How are the characters teleporting all over town? Why is Cheryl okay with her horrible mother in her house at the wake? Why does Toni still even exist? Why is Reggie underage bartending and serving drinks to another minor? SO MANY QUESTIONS. But, it's Riverdale.
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