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SnarkEnthusiast

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Everything posted by SnarkEnthusiast

  1. SnarkEnthusiast

    Angie Tribeca

    I missed Giles a lot, through AJ was pretty good. I kept waiting for the reveal that he'd be coming back, so I was disappointed when Scholl's affair turned out to be with the VP. Jere Burns is a national treasure (pun intended).
  2. SnarkEnthusiast

    Floribama Shore

    LOL! In perhaps the only time I will half-assedly side with Nilsa, their conversation in the club was seemingly intentionally ambiguous on Gus' part. If you're justifiably horribly annoyed by someone, especially someone who can't take a hint, it's probably not a good idea to imply that there might be a chance with the whole "even though I want you to let me go deep down I'm not sure I want you to let me go." And he was digging his own grave by feeding her that honeymoon fantasy! I think a tiny part of him enjoys stringing her along to relish how much she regrets ignoring him last season. I think the problem is he's just too much of a narcissist and can't say no to the possibility of easy sex when he blows it with his conquest of the day, even if he is absolutely repulsed by Nilsa 98% of the time. But yes, she's obsessive and borderline predatory. I can't imagine being stuck living with someone like that for weeks. Having someone literally breathing down your neck and whining to initiate sex with you specifically when you're barely conscious sounds awful. Nilsa and her Marge Simpson makeup can have a stadium full of seats. Kirk somehow gets more unbelievably useless with every episode, which is saying something with this bunch. He does absolutely nothing and then bullies and gaslights the girls in particular while he's drunk. He just seems like a really nasty person with a lot of issues behind closed doors. I would have no desire to hang out with him, let alone get plastered with him on a daily basis. If Aimee is so horny, she should just fuck Kodi. Speaking of which, what happened to Kodi/Candace and Jeremiah/Kortni? They don't even seem to interact anymore. It's so funny watching these people get worked up over not being able to have sex with randos they met 3 hours ago.
  3. SnarkEnthusiast

    S04.E02: Super Girl Groups, Henny

    Farrah is pretty, but she strikes me as more of a fragile Gen Z Instagram queen than a hard-working, performance-based queen. She lives for likes and stranger validation online, but collapses when presented with any real world task or standards. She also bursts into tears at the slightest criticism. The extent of her drag viability is basically endless selfies and outfit posts with the occasional makeup tutorial.
  4. SnarkEnthusiast

    Floribama Shore

    Nilsa is 110 levels of cringe. I felt vindicated when Gus said Aimee and Kodi should be a couple. Exactly, they're the same person! But Kodi strikes me as one of those douches who refuses to date chubby girls despite being chubby himself. What happened to Jeremiah? Even if Kortni was being obnoxiously pouty and overdramatic, him calling her a bitch was clearly mean spirited and not playful. If a guy I had feelings for called me a bitch the second he got annoyed, that'd be a major red flag or at the very least a total turnoff. Her "love profession" made him turn into an irritable, misogynistic high school boy. But she's the one who propositioned him and he doesn't even want her apparently. so I don't know why he's acting weird and butthurt. That middle aged woman should've won the twerking contest. Since when is giving the judge a lapdance the basis of scoring? Sleazy as fuck.
  5. SnarkEnthusiast

    S01.E08: MAFS: Happily Ever After?

    After seeing Bobby and Danielle in the finale, I'm beginning to think their entire storyline is made up by producers. Danielle is still annoying as fuck, but they seemed warm and affectionate on the couch (RIP) and like a normal couple after barely smiling all season. It's like someone yelled cut and they went back to just hanging out, whereas the previews made it look like Bobby was fuming over the move and on the verge of verbal altercation. So is Bobby actually starved for affection, or is that just their canned scripted conflict? Nothing is fake about the Shawniece/Jephte debacle though. Watching the experts pressure Jephte to magically make himself attracted to Shawniece is painful, as is watching Shawniece desperately try to convince him to love her. You can't rekindle what was never there. It's not like they're high school sweethearts who've hit a rough patch after 20 years ; he never loved her and will always be apathetic/have a wandering eye because he thinks he deserves someone hotter. He liked the attention and convenient sex, that's it. The baby just makes him feel temporarily obligated to stay, but he'll be trolling for his dream light skinned Instagram models in no time.
  6. SnarkEnthusiast

    S07.E30: Eye to Eye

    I'm sure Ryder will appreciate the mental image of her dad barely lasting two minutes during her conception. Cate and Ty both need to shit or get off the pot with this separation nonsense. I hate Cate, but understand her frustration: if Tyler's so desperate to get away, why stall? She's going to be in her last trimester soon and it's a lot harder to justify living apart but still being together while you have a newborn. YOU chose to separate during the pregnancy, so do it while she's still pregnant! Tyler is shitty for not caring how him moving out will affect Nova, especially after watching her develop mommy issues during the retreats ; Cate is shitty for shutting down and turning on the tears when Tyler rightfully brought up the hypocrisy of everyone cheerleading her abandoning her life every 3 months because "it's for mental health" but shaming him the second he talks about his own needs. They both just need to get away from each other.
  7. SnarkEnthusiast

    S01.E07: MAFS: Happily Ever After?

    Very respectfully disagree! There's no way Shawniece and especially her mom would tolerate Mr. Delusional Quarterlife Crisis openly parading 20-year-old self-proclaimed Instagram models around, especially with small kids. More likely Shawniece will wind up with chlamydia and discover Jephte's secret Tinder profile. I don't get his logic. So he thinks Shawniece is just going to put up with him staring dead eyed into the void of their forcibly loveless marriage for 15 or 25 years out of spite to make sure HIS (not their) kids won't grow up in a divorced household? Shawniece is just an empty vessel to fulfill his idealized fantasy of fatherhood and nothing else.
  8. SnarkEnthusiast

    S07.E29: Mixed Feelings

    I think Cate takes issue with the fact that the separation is obviously a direct commentary on her and her failings as a spouse, whereas the retreats are always about mental illness or triggers, which can be blamed on Cate's ever-expanding list of traumas from age 4 to 26. Tyler's only issue is HER and what a black hole of narcissism and self-coddling she's become. Cate is well-aware of this. Also her faux-intellectual weaponized therapy speak. What's future tripping???
  9. SnarkEnthusiast

    S01.E07: MAFS: Happily Ever After?

    This episode just further confirmed why Bobby and Shawniece should be together. Danielle and Jephte and two sides of the same shitty, emotionally unavailable coin. I also don't think it's a coincidence that both Danielle and Jephte display so much uncharacteristic love and affection for their dogs. You aren't really accountable to your pets. They're delighted by the bare minimum of attention and don't hold grudges. There's not really any reciprocity there. For people who are naturally emotionally withholding, dogs are great because they basically reward and validate you for existing, which in turn, feeds your ego. In Jephte's scenario, infants are also incredibly needy, but especially in the newborn phase when they don't really have a personality, it's easy to conceptualize them as an accessory or a literal extension of yourself, again feeding your own narcissism. Notice how quickly he ranked Laura above his own siblings who he served as a father figure to specifically because she's HIS and a part of HIM. He and Danielle are two vapid, walking egos. I feel like we've watched Bobby go through 15 years of a deteriorating marriage in five minutes. There is already so much festering resentment there. I think he's one of those people who is so desperate to be in love, they will overlook any red flags or unhappiness to romanticize the concept of having a spouse, regardless if the person is actually a good fit for them. The homespun dates, the pregnancy journal, the surprise proposal… It all reads like stuff a hopeless romantic saw in romcoms. He had obviously been dreaming of doing stuff like that for years. Danielle's blank expression in response to every grand gesture just underscores the fact that Bobby is still operating according to an ideal and not the reality, and rightfully so because his reality is apparently massively underwhelming. I empathize with Bobby a lot because our love languages are similar and I've also put tons of effort into people who could care less. With that said, I also recognize when to cut my losses and throw in the towel. He's painful to watch because he continues to eagerly throw himself against the same brick wall and convince himself that his emotional deprivation is par for the course. I couldn't imagine realizing I have now impregnated and committed to raise a child with someone who literally can't stomach any level of intimacy or affection towards me. He keeps thinking his increasingly unjustified infatuation with her is going to win her over, when it's actually just digging himself into a deeper hole.
  10. SnarkEnthusiast

    Catelynn (and Tyler)

    Trying to justify your dead relationship in one tweet lol. This is on the same level as Cate's inane "we're the only original teen couple still together which means our love is the strongest" argument. Halfheartedly trying to make yourself feel better with made up superiority complexes or by bragging about things that are basic principles of most relationships ("We haven't broken up yet! We're monogamous!") doesn't make your relationship better than anyone else's or even healthy. Newsflash: if your only source of pride in your relationship comes from putting down others, you shouldn't be in it. Tyler's felt trapped and wanted out for years, so he copes by convincing himself he's a better person for staying with Cate and those who break up are "weak" or not actually committed to their partner or "the concept of marriage," which is twisted in unhappy situations to mean some form of masochistic self-denial and passive acceptance of constant negative emotions because they made a vow or whatever. But staying in a crappy marriage doesn't win you any gold stars of self-discipline, he's just wasting his own youth being voluntarily miserable. This tweet sounds like it came on the heels of a particularly rocky therapy session. I'm guessing Tyler and/or the therapist suggested trying to see other people and Cate freaked out. Also...is he trying to claim monogamous couples are some kind of stigmatized or persecuted minority? When everyone over 25 is endlessly questioned about marriage and anyone in a romantic arrangement that's non-monogamous or more than 2 monogamous people is labelled a kinky nymphomaniac freak? LOL!
  11. SnarkEnthusiast

    Catelynn (and Tyler)

    Teasing your separation and possible divorce as clickbait is some weird, self-cannibalizing PR.
  12. SnarkEnthusiast

    Ryan: What the hell happened to him?

    Exactly, triggers are to help YOU improve your own life with better coping strategies, not a mandate for everyone else to restructure their lives based on what triggers you.
  13. SnarkEnthusiast

    S01.E06: MAFS: Happily Ever After?

    Yeah, Jephte used Twitter backlash against him in his season as an excuse for "needing to do his own thing," i.e stroking his...ego in other women's vaginas while they were separated. I think she must have found out she was pregnant right before or during the separation. I'm guessing she was especially angry with him because they probably never discussed whether or not they were going to see other people and she assumed they weren't. Not even taking the pregnancy into account, that situation is always awkward because the one who stayed loyal during the break always feels betrayed, but it's not really like you can correct it once it's done. Even if he felt guilty enough and gave her a free pass to go have a one night stand, she wouldn't take him up on it and then it raises the whole issue of "well you wouldn't care if I slept with someone else? You wouldn't be jealous?" Etc. and there's no right answer. He must have really fucked up to not make a peep about her refusing to even kiss him for five months. Makes you wonder about the exact circumstances and timing of the infidelity. This season is basically "the Ballad of Bobby's Penis." I swear, if I have to hear about Danielle's nausea one more time. I agree with everyone else that I think she's using her supposed all day morning sickness to get out of chores and sex. I didn't get the after dinner scene – how can you simultaneously be vomiting and over full? she just wanted to go to bed LOL. Also, I feel like everyone is overlooking all of the other sex acts you could do beyond intercourse. I get feeling too sick, but if it were me, I would start to feel worried that my partner would think I wasn't attracted to them or that I was single-handedly killing the marriage. If it really has been months, a handjob would take no time at all (lmao) and wouldn't involve rigorous physical activity or tempting your gag reflex. Then again, I think about other people, which Danielle does not seem capable of doing. I'm 100% fully on board with a fantasy Shawniece/Bobby pairing.
  14. SnarkEnthusiast

    Ryan: What the hell happened to him?

    Didn't Jen and Larry decide Maci was Ryan's trigger as a way to bully her out of demanding Ryan pass a drug test before he could see Bentley? As if she had to just do whatever they said or else they'd blame any drug use entirely on her. Jen/Larry and especially Cate have totally bastardized the meaning of the word trigger. They overuse it so much to render it virtually meaningless. It's become a catchall buzzword to control everyone around you and avoid accountability for your actions or the impact they have on other people. As I understand it, identifying something as your trigger is just supposed to help you understand your emotional response and strategize how you can cope better when you're faced with that scenario in the real world. It is NOT a free pass to demand everyone walk on egg shells around you or to justify avoiding your responsibilities, especially to your young child. Notice when Cate or Ryan don't like something, it immediately becomes a trigger so that they can indefinitely put it off/use their mental illness or addiction to antagonize anyone who challenges them. People corrupt the concept to guilt trip their family/friends/spouses Into doing everything the exact way they specify, or else fear the consequences. There's always an unspoken "...and then I might overdose!" or "...and then I might become suicidal!" dangling over Jen/Larry's and Tyler's Heads respectively. It's just become another tool for already narcissistic and manipulative people to gaslight their way into endless coddling. Triggers are supposed to help you adjust to society. Cate and Ryan use them to pressure everyone to obey their every waking whim.
  15. SnarkEnthusiast

    Ryan: What the hell happened to him?

    I'm assuming that this is supposed to be a snap of him lovingly changing the baby's diaper, but he looks like he's nodding off. Why on earth would Mack decide to stop filming after choosing to get pregnant by her heroin addict cash cow to stay relevant?
  16. SnarkEnthusiast

    S07.E28: Modern Families

    I first shaved my legs when I was 14 because I was worried the boy I liked would be grossed out. He, being a 14-year-old boy, never noticed and never liked me anyway lol. But shaving regularly at 9??? If that "thicker and darker each time you shave" myth is true, she'll probably be shaving morning and night by high school. Also, we're watching the kids learn to shave...maybe it's time to end the franchise about them being infants/toddlers. Those Cate flashbacks were rough! Butch's 2008 hair was...something. I can't believe no one here has mentioned Tyler muttering "prick, dick dick" to himself when admitting he didn't give a fuck about public shaming for leaving a pregnant woman. Good for him though - pregnancy shouldn't obligate your partner to stay, especially if you've been a happiness draining, manipulative life suck for 5+ years. Forget trap baby, Tezlee is a springboard baby that compelled Tyler to finally run for the hills. But come on, why are you having sex with your wife you can barely tolerate without condoms? Did anyone else catch Tyler saying he's only been with 2 women? Was he counting some other girl he dated in middle school before Cate? I hope he just meant dating and not sex...yikes.
  17. SnarkEnthusiast

    S06.E08: Ready to Run

    All of the couples have bizarre parent/child dynamics - Ashley scolding Jay to tell her where he is 24/7 and monitoring his texts, Leida with her budget tantrums to Eric ("Just cut off child support this month to pay for flowers!"), Coltee Bates Motel, Jon gleefully financing Fer's bewbies and letting her throw his money around (conversely, her nagging him to do basic things like clean and include his mother on major life decisions), Kalani infantilizing Aseulu etc. Steven and Olga are weird because they're the only couple without an age gap who actually seemed like peers dating each other rather than Meet My Midlife Crisis Hot Piece of Ass and/or My New Instagram Trophy. (Kalani and Aseulu...I got nothing. Dad rebellion? Horny? He has a mommy kink?) What I'm saying us, they're the only believable couple who seemed to be on each other's level. But literally overnight after the baby, Steven transformed into Olga's sulky teenage son. Is this really all because the sex dried up for two weeks while she recovers from a goddamn C-Section and cares for HIS newborn son round the clock? Does he expect her to give him a handjob with one hand and nurse the baby with the other? That was supposed to be a rhetorical question, but you know he does. Talk about a Jekyll/Hyde transformation as soon as Olga had responsibilities beyond fucking him and feeding his ego.
  18. SnarkEnthusiast

    S06.E08: Ready to Run

    #FreeOlga
  19. SnarkEnthusiast

    Catelynn (and Tyler)

    I forget her full name is Novalee all the time. Is Tezlee another character in the dumbass book Nova was named for? "Nova and Tez" also sounds like a butch lesbian ukulele duo.
  20. SnarkEnthusiast

    Catelynn (and Tyler)

    Tezlee sounds like an off-brand Pez dispenser.
  21. SnarkEnthusiast

    S10.E07: So Long, Division

    That's what social media is nowadays. It's called the Oppression Olympics and it's super annoying. Rather than fighting each other for who gets to feel entitled to feel the worst, we should be supporting each other. David Schwimmer was brought on to pander to Friends nostalgia. He and Debra Messing have about as much chemistry as two bags of cement. Both Noah and Grace seem to only have one setting of indignant irritation vs. emotional constipation, so it's not surprising they're having trouble portraying people falling in love believably. We never see them flirting or in bed together or making out. All of their scenes are arguing or yelling, and the actors look like they barely want to touch lips when they kiss. There's just no warmth or spark. Making Noah a gruff/aloof guy doesn't mean he can't have feelings. Like I said earlier, it's basically the fanservice crossover of "What if Grace dated Ross after he was embittered and emotionally destroyed by divorcing Rachel?" When will Will get a love interest again?????
  22. SnarkEnthusiast

    Floribama Shore

    Oh, these bozos. What does Kirk...do? He talks about how close he is to everyone, but he's such a background character and only appears to yell/rant at the others. Nilsa is possessive as hell and delusional. Gus has said he absolutely does not want to date or have sex with you like 20 times! Then she just waits until he gets wasted to creepily kiss/grind on him while he does nothing. It's manipulative that she takes advantage of him being drunk to try to convince him he actually does want to be with her. She's just always so desperate to fuck him before he sobers up and remembers he doesn't like her that way, which is creepy and gross of her. She knows he'd never have sex with her sober and only cares about getting it in. And UGH, stop saying "snuggle." It's not cute. Why is she so fixated on insisting he climb into her bed and not vice versa? His dick will feel the same in either bed!
  23. SnarkEnthusiast

    S06.E08: The Living Room: A 100% True Story

    This episode reminded me of all the Hummel figurines we've inherited that are currently gathering dust. I'll give them a pass on the living room because fighting by hurling taxidermy owls is funny. And yes, every plot is some variation of "parent/kid hurts parent/kid's feelings, feels like a dick (complete with that one shot every goddamn episode pre-apology scene where the Jerk of the Episode looks crestfallen after a cutting one-liner from Hurt Character), then apologizes. But as someone who's probably only watched since S4...was it ever not like that? I'm so confused by the Schooled timeline. Is it supposed to be set early/mid 90s? Because Laney would have to stop being a dropout and do 4 years of college. I like Laney, but is she really important or popular enough for a spinoff? Has she ever expressed interest in teaching? It just seems like a really cheap way to squeeze a show out of recycling the school set and giving the teacher cast an extra check. Plus it seems likely that the Goldbergs and Barry won't be included, which is awkward with the engagement. But, her new love interest is apparently Brett Dier (Micheal from Jane The Virgin), who is an astronomical step up from Barry. Strange that they would even bother with the engagement after their dramatic final breakup only to turn around and write it off for the spinoff.
  24. SnarkEnthusiast

    S01.E05: MAFS: Happily Ever After?

    Shawniece and Bobby should be married because both are devoted, sentimental spouses being completely bulldozed by cold fish, self-absorbed, instant gratification-obsessed partners. At least they'd appreciate each other.
  25. SnarkEnthusiast

    S09.E00: John David's Wedding

    I know!!! I was thinking "Am I hot for John David right now? What the fuck is happening? Do I need to be raptured?" Re: inappropriate or not, I say good for him. If these miserable puritanical fuckers are going to starve their grown adult children of any physical touch because they're not married, they better not clutch their pearls if the couple puts on a bit of a show when finally allowed. It was a sexy, confident way of reminding everyone that even though he (might've) stuck to the rules and is a 30-year-old virgin, he's still an adult who knows what he wants and won't be intimidated out of showing affection for his wife. Plus imo it was tastefully humorous/playful and not sexual or overly intimate (as opposed to PornBreath Lauren). I did gasp when he kissed the shoulder away from the camera because the angle made it look like he was kissing the top of her breast lol. Maybe one Duggar is aware of the concept of foreplay! And when Abbie was clearly anticipating JD kissing her lips and he teased her by taking his time to kiss her cheeks as deliberately slowly as possible...that was fucking hot. Send help, I don't know who I am anymore.
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