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S07:E02 Brianne's Story

On 12/25/2018 at 1:05 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

They are a really nice family.  I found it interesting that her husband is 30 years older than her.  While he seems like a very kind man and they appear to be very in love, um, daddy issues?

I cannot believe I didn't pick up on this.  Of course.  They are so very loving toward each other--I hope this relationship with her husband is helping her heal from the abuse and hatred she suffered from her bio dad.

I cheered for her throughout the show, although the fist bumps got a little tiresome--but she's young.  From the opening, when we saw how big she was and yet how mobile, I was on her side.  I kept waiting for her to backslide, but she never did!  The show didn't sacrifice her story to their formula of enthusiasm, failure to follow the diet, hospitalization, redemption (or another failure), finally success, surgery, more failure, therapy, some success.  Brianne aced every step, and under difficult logistical and psychological circumstances.  I was so afraid she would back down in the face of her mother's cowardly "well, I'm sorry you felt that way" horseshit, Brianne did Dr. Paradise proud and stuck to her guns.  Having a loving husband and stepdaughter behind her surely gave her strength to risk losing her mother's support--good on her.

Her height (anyone know how tall she is?  I'd bet at least 5'10") of course helps in that she could carry more weight and stay ambulatory where a shorter man or woman would be doing the pounder split in bed.

I hope we'll have a followup and see continuing success for this lovely young woman and her family.  And fuck her father.

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On 12/31/2018 at 10:35 AM, LocalGovt said:

As an aside to this (but not really) I found - on my facebook feed -- items from QVC, including a bathroom aide  that allows one to wipe their private area after using the bathroom.    I find it mildly alarming that this is a mainstream, everyday item to buy now.  And I say this as a 50-something woman with 60 lbs to lose, so I'm not some stick thin person mocking the obese. I am obese.

A lot of those devices are really meant for the physically disabled, those not disabled by obesity but by some other condition/injury, so as a person interested in disability rights, I'm glad they are becoming mainstream!  From the point of view that we are now such a nation of fat people that it's easy to find products to help us wipe our butts, though, I totally agree with you.

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On 1/10/2019 at 1:42 AM, Hannah94 said:

A very large portion of the participants on this show seem to have "gang rape" in their history, while they were extremely heavy. I am not saying it did not or could not happen, but I find it completely mind-boggling that there was consistently a GROUP of men who all agreed collectively to take a 500 lb woman in her late teens/early twenties and have sex with her against her will with no one being witness or knowing anything about it. I cannot help but wonder if maybe some of these women were looking for "love" through sex and once they were rejected after giving it up, they aligned that with rape. 

You've gotta keep reminding yourself that rape isn't about sex.  It's a crime of physical and emotional violence that uses sexual assault as a means, not an end.  Plus, many of the cowards who gang-rape a fat (or disabled) woman would never commit such a crime on their own because they would not want the reputation of having sex with such an "undesirable" person.  But men in a group are a whole 'nother story.  Because they are *all* doing it, the attack is not about each man's personal taste or desperation to get laid--it's about demonstrating strength and manhood to their peers.  It's not about the victim so much as it is about themselves as individuals in a group (a football team or a fraternity, for instance).  For these assholes, it's a bonding experience.

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On 1/10/2019 at 3:34 AM, Hellohappylife said:

Call me an asshole but these people seriously expect people to not stare at them all confused like when they go on a plane?  I don’t know about y’all,but flying is already scary enough, adding another 600 pounds weight to something that could just fall out of the sky easily gives me concern(especially if I’m flying over an ocean) not to mention god forbid there is a fire or something, does the crew get stuck trying to help them out first before any other passengers since her weight is the reason she entered the plane before anyone else?  Your damn right I’m gonna look at you confused in the airport. 

I don't think you're an asshole, but if you stare at people for any reason at all, I do think you're rude!

I too wonder every week when the patients complain about the stares they get when they leave their homes--to the grocery store, especially, where you really don't have to worry you're going to fall out of the sky.  It's not that they're fat but that they're outside the norm *via* being fat.  I have a disabled child, and I'm a veteran of being stared at wherever we went, and while I didn't like it, I understood that the pair of us were something people didn't see every day, and of course they'd give us a good long look.  People who turn and stare, though, I wanted to punch in the face.  Actually, what I wanted was for anyone interested enough to stare to come and ask me about her.  Dumbasses might actually learn something.

When I see a really fat person in the grocery store riding around on the scooter, I try to catch her eye and give her a smile.  I don't need to ask what her deal is--she's too fat to be able to walk around the store--but I want her to know that I know she's a person like everybody else and of course welcome to be anywhere anyone else is.

The mother of another disabled child told me that while she was in the checkout line, a "lady" behind her remarked loudly, "I think it's terrible when they take them out like this."

On 1/10/2019 at 9:19 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

I do hope that Katrina picks up some better eating habit. She's young and I'd hate to see her go down that same path. She was eating the same junk Bri was.

Rick, too, needs to get off the heavy fat and salt train.  Nobody with cardiac disease needs to be eating that shit, either.

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1 hour ago, Sterling said:

There is another therapist on this show that I've also coincidentally been to.  She's also terrific, and she happens to be thin.  Is it "mean" to have a thin person work with them?  Or should the therapists themselves be 600 lbs.?

I fully agree that professionalism is far more important than personal experience with some condition.   There is a world of difference between extrapolating your own experience (or even that of a few other people you know) and doing what has been determined to be the best thing based on guidelines developed using science and/or clinical experience of hundreds/thousands/millions of people.  Plural of anecdote is not data, and a healthcare provider should do what is best for the person sitting in front of them, NOT what the HCP would want for themselves.   

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I'm just hoping that the better relationship with her parents doesn't mean being abused by either of them now or in the future.   

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12 minutes ago, Mothra said:

A lot of those devices are really meant for the physically disabled, those not disabled by obesity but by some other condition/injury, so as a person interested in disability rights, I'm glad they are becoming mainstream!  From the point of view that we are now such a nation of fat people that it's easy to find products to help us wipe our butts, though, I totally agree with you.

A few years ago I discovered the 'personal hygiene bottle' - which I now use every day (search on Amazon, you'll see what I'm talking about, it's a (usually blue) bottle with a spout).  I found out about it from an Indian friend. It's something used in many areas of the world where the plumbing isn't up to dealing with flushed toilet paper. It really was a revelation to clean myself with a jet of warm water and then need only a couple of squares of toilet paper to dry myself.  I usually carry one in my daypack, just in case I need to poop when I'm at work or out (although, like most people, I prefer to do this at home, but ya never know ...)  I'm not sure how this would work on the severely obese, though, as I'm guessing it's kind of difficult to locate the various orifices when you weigh 700lbs.

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23 hours ago, cpcathy said:

My heart may be black, but I thought her nice and sweet demeanor was an act. I understand her emotions over the rape, but the "my dad was mean to me" is baloney after a certain time period. Let the asshole go. I only say this as someone who has done the same thing with my own father. Choose your own mental health over your father's assholery.

One thing I did understand about the father's reported attitude toward her is something I've seen in both my husband's and my own families, both involving fathers who were overseas during WWII when the first child was born.  When they returned home and the second child was born, that child was, to the father, his first (and only) child because he had missed the infancy of his true first-born.

Brianne's father was away for her infancy and much of her early childhood.  Her siblings are a lot younger than she is.  I suspect he viewed Brianne as something other than his own child, and in the bike-riding story, where he blamed her for something (we know there was something bad because the other two were punished as well), it's almost as if she were the babysitter charged with keeping the younger ones safe, and she had failed, endangering his precious children, which did not include her.

Only a guess, and even if true, no excuse for him.

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22 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I'm wishing there was a place people could go to for recuperation, like a motel, with personal care assistants, and that way people like Dottie, or Brianne could recuperate without having to find someone to help them that really isn't all that interested in being there, or needs to go home for work, the way Dottie's husband did.     

I've often thought the same, and I also believe that there's a lucrative business waiting to be developed around this idea.  The only problem I see--and it's a big one, but not insurmountable--would to be to work with insurance companies to cover the cost of such a service.  Medicare covers the cost of nursing home care if you go straight from the hospital to the nursing home; I wonder if something like that could be a template for a post-weight-loss-surgery facility?  I think a case could be made that skilled nursing care is needed for at least the first few days; you could release the patient to the care facility directly from the operating room and thus save money on the full-scale medical hospital that they use for a couple of days.  I'm sure this could be worked out, and if I were not a lazy good-for-nothing, I'd figure it out and get rich and then "so long suckers!"

(Not really.  All the money in the world couldn't keep me from these pages.  The spirit may or may not be willing, but the flesh is 100% weak)

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14 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

But what exactly could the mother have done (speaking of how the father treated Brianne while she was growing up)?

Just off the top of my head:

when she heard him yelling at her in her bedroom, knock on the door.  "Honey, can I see you for a minute?"  Get him away from her and go in and comfort her.  Rinse, repeat every time she knew the father had been verbally/emotionally abusive to the child.

Make sure Brianne knew her mother loved her by showing affection *in front of the father and the other children*

Do things--bake a cake, for chrissakes--with her and tell her what a good job she did

Take her out shopping for a pretty dress or to the hair salon for a 'do

Overcompensate in the showing love overtly department to give a little balance to a little girl's life so the child would know she had at least one loving parent

I don't know what went on during the first five years of Brianne's life, when she was alone with her mother, but it clearly wasn't enough to give her security about being loved.  The whole fucking family should have been in therapy, but that's a daydream.

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47 minutes ago, Hellga said:

Plural of anecdote is not data

Words to live by, in every aspect of life.  Seriously.

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Moving past someone as emotionally abusive as the father was is very difficult, especially since the mother saw nothing wrong with it.   Being told everyday that you are worthless, or unwanted, or not good enough programs you to be a failure.   I'm surprised that she pulled herself out of her early life, and was able to have a relationship, and family that seem to be supportive.   When you grow up with people screaming at you for everything, when nothing you do is good enough for them, and the child knows they aren't wanted, it leaves deep scars.       

I know people who grew up with sexual, or emotional, or physical abuse, and never were able to get over the way they were treated.    I know too many who were sexually abused, told that they should never have been born, and nothing they did was good enough, and they spent their entire lives trying to get a person to love them who was incapable of love.       I know several people who had older family members abused, and the same abuser was a central member of the family, and was allowed near the next generation, and he sexually assaulted them too, but the person was always at the center of the family as if he wasn't a rapist, and monster. 

 I'm hoping the therapy for Brianne continues, and she can draw good boundaries with her parents, and if either parent starts the same garbage again, she cuts them off.         The mother didn't deny anything about what Brianne said the father was like, and that is very telling to me.     

The part where Brianne said the dad was gone, totaled 14 months, I think she said, so he wasn't gone that long.     I still wonder if she's his biological child.    

Edited by CrazyInAlabama.
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I watched the “extras” episode with the pop up info and it said Brianne was 6 ft tall at age 18.

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On 1/10/2019 at 7:42 PM, KateHearts said:

The fist-bumping was very cute. As was her very candid confession to her "last supper."

What was so funny, was I think she was genuinely worried about her confession, and I was thinking "Honey, if you only knew that what you are confessing to having done once, and feeling so guilty about, is what most of Dr Now's other patients do all the time and think is just fine!"

On 1/10/2019 at 6:24 PM, pdlinda said:

Also, as an "aside", if she would could run a comb/brush through her mangled hair it might really enhance her appearance.  It looked like she had been a bleached blonde at one point and was growing it out (doubt it was that new "ombre" look) so maybe a haircut would be in order??  Perhaps, in the follow-up, she gets some desire to create a neater appearance than she had in the show.  That would probably help if she ever wished to find employment.

Yeah, I thought the same thing.  Usually as the patients lose weight, we see changes in grooming that are commensurate, but she didn't change a darn thing about her hair.

On 1/10/2019 at 2:42 PM, cpcathy said:

My heart may be black, but I thought her nice and sweet demeanor was an act. I understand her emotions over the rape, but the "my dad was mean to me" is baloney after a certain time period

I agree that she needs to let go of the "my dad was mean to me" thing.  But I think it's because she's genuinely nice and sweet, that it affected her so much.

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20 hours ago, pvandal said:

I watched the “extras” episode with the pop up info and it said Brianne was 6 ft tall at age 18.

I wish they would give their height at the beginning along with their age. It gives a bit of context for the number on the scale. Not that 600 pounds is good for anyone but a given weight at 5 feet is not the same as that weight at 6 feet.

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I believe she’s naturally has low resilience and coupled with the scape goat abuse from her father and complicit enabling from her mother resulted in extremely low self esteem. Think of all her accomplishments. All the times she never even began to backslide. Signing up, alone, for a group physical activity. If she had the barest crumb of emotional support from her parents, think of how confident and successful she could have been. Maybe she would have still been overweight, but perhaps not morbidly obese. Some kids just need more positive reinforcement. And it doesn’t sound like she got any of that. 

Something that really stuck out to me during the conversation with her mom (aside from the “I’m sorry you feel that way” 🙄) was when the mom was explaining that they had stressful jobs and the father would need to come home and let it out and it just happened to be on her. The follow up should have been “AND THAT WAS NOT OK”. Instead it just petered out with a hapless hand flutter, oh, well. I wouldn’t have needed her to even apologize on her husband’s behalf, just acknowledge what her daughter went through bearing the brunt of her father’s “job stress”. And maybe a “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you”. 

There’s nothing wrong with seeking to give (as a parent) or seek (as a child) reasons why your parents made the choices they did, but it becomes an excuse when you the parent don’t take responsibility for your actions. Saying, as her mother did, that they were young parents, is fine. But she stopped there. She didn’t acknowlege what effect their parenting choices clearly had on Brianne. 

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I interpreted the mother's statement to Brianne as meaning that the mother was stressed at work too, so she was part of the treatment.       I don't know if the mother was Air Force too, like the father, or if she just had a full time job, but releasing stress by bullying your child is despicable.  

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On 1/9/2019 at 10:23 PM, NeitherSparky said:

Wasn’t that shower nice?? I want that shower!

I haven’t read the live chat thread and I’m sure this was commented on, but something that just staggered me both when I watched this one on the TLC app and then tonight was when Brianne was telling her story, and she gets to when she was about 500 pounds, and that was when her weight “started” to get out of control. STARTED?? D: I absolutely cannot get over anybody saying their weight STARTED to get out of control at FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS.

Yes!  I was staring at her shower, and not her!  It's a nice remodel.

Okay so, I just can't with all addicts that blame their addiction on not getting enough love at home.  You are a grown ass woman, take some responsibility.  I didn't have a good childhood, but I moved on.  Get some therapy if it's that bad.  

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I would imagine that a lot of them didn't have access to therapy. I doubt their parents would get them therapy and as an adult they might not be able to afford it or know where to go. There's also a lot of stigma about going to therapy, so they'll likely be unwilling until its impossible to ignore the problem. If even then.

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I still think Brianne wasn't her dad's bio child. I'm probably projecting my own experience here, but the man who I always thought was my bio dad wasn't. He was my stepfather. He and my mother separated  for a time, and during that time, she fell in love with another man, and had an affair, which I was the product of. She was about 6 weeks pregnant with me when she and my stepfather got back together. She told him I was his. I think he always knew I wasn't his.  When my sister came along 7 years later, I saw how she was treated. The golden child. She was loved and cared for and wanted. She could do no wrong. I remember wondering why he hated me so much. When I found out as an adult that he wasn't my bio dad, it all made sense.   

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On 1/10/2019 at 6:58 AM, AVM said:

I found Brianne very unlikable, she waited until she was over 700 lbs before seeking help,and blamed her misery for being  yelled at when she was 13 year old..my dad didnt love  ,i am a victim..  A  bratty 30 year old child ...no thanks I would avoid her too ...God bless Dr Now

I'm only partway through, but I heard the entire first hour as a lengthy litany of victimhood, some of it truly horrific, and was predicting she would never make the needed changes.  It's awesome to read here that she did turn things around, highly surprising, really.  I'm always struck by how much the personality of these folks resembles that of hoarders, in that they present a pretty affable face at the outset, but it turns out that the people around them live in fear of their anger if they are pushed at all to change.  All of these folks need therapy, and lots of it, and I'm glad that Dr. Now is including that more now.  Brianne is young enough to have a quicker recovery than most people on this show.  She has a supportive family at home, and distance from family of origin will probably be a big plus.  I like the success stories!!

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This is one of those episodes that just ended too soon.  I hate how they cut off like that - just because they hit the one year mark.   I want to see if she kept going - what she looked like after the skin surgery.  There are only a handful of the people on this show that I get to where I sincerely become invested in their weight loss journey and want to keep cheering them on... and Brianne was one of them.  I loved how caring and giving and loving she was towards her stepdaughter, which is unusual when you realize that Brianne is only 10 years older than Rick's daughter!  (Was his name Rick?)  Man he was a small guy!   It takes a special young adult to truly love a preteen daughter of a new husband - to the point where the girl calls Brianne mom and they sincerely love each other.   That was sweet!

Not that there weren't some irritating aspects.   I HATE it when these people say "Food is the only thing that never let me down".  Oh bull.  You say you hurt and can't do anything except take a shower for the day and you have massive hanging skin and can't go outside or really do ANYTHING except eat - and you say food didn't let you down?  Uh honey - I have news for you.....!!   You can't really blame the food though - it takes an elbow and hand to place it in the mouth and it's all a personal choice.   In addition, I agree with the person who posted earlier who said it was unfair to put mom on the spot for something that happened a decade earlier - at the restaurant in front of cameras.  To be fair to the mother, I heard her apologize several times... but Brianne wouldn't accept the apology and let it go.  I would be willing to bet the mother IS sorry - but other than apologizing and being there for her daughter during this weight loss business (and she HAS been there!) - what more does Brianne want?  You can't go back in time and change the past.  And finally - THOUSANDS of kids are abused and neglected and have serious trauma in their lives - yet they don't balloon up to 750 pounds and lay around all day while others work and bathe them and take care of them.  Yes - something caused a person to go down this road of self-destruction - but I think it's important to come to the realization that It's all a choice and an excuse.  Otherwise everyone who was emotionally wounded as a child would be booking appointments with Dr. Now.

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5 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I interpreted the mother's statement to Brianne as meaning that the mother was stressed at work too, so she was part of the treatment.       I don't know if the mother was Air Force too, like the father, or if she just had a full time job, but releasing stress by bullying your child is despicable.  

I didn't get the impression that the mother bullied Brianne at all - only the father did.  Brianne is mad that the mother didn't confront the father and defend her.  The mother made one comment that sounded like she was afraid of making the father angry and turn on her because they were both stressed?  (Not positive about that.)  I DO know that as a mother I would never allow my husband to call my kids cruel names like that.

On 1/11/2019 at 11:56 AM, Mothra said:

 

I hope we'll have a followup and see continuing success for this lovely young woman and her family.  And fuck her father.

Oh right - I wanted to comment on the father.  I was very disappointed that there was no resolution with him.  The mother said she was sorry that Brianne hadn't seen him in 11 years - wouldn't any OTHER person go home and confront their spouse about that - "Why don't you go see Brianne!  She is working SO hard to better herself and the support would be great!"  Or - couldn't he CALL her on the phone?  Something?  Anything?  Where is her brother and sister?  They didn't come to see her during her surgery or recovery - are they unsupportive, as well?  They are either a very distant and cold family, or there is more to the story that we weren't privy to.

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8 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I didn't get the impression that the mother bullied Brianne at all - only the father did.  Brianne is mad that the mother didn't confront the father and defend her.  The mother made one comment that sounded like she was afraid of making the father angry and turn on her because they were both stressed?  (Not positive about that.)  I DO know that as a mother I would never allow my husband to call my kids cruel names like that.

Possible too that her mom is like me - I will do almost anything not to cry in front of other people, and she was definitely getting to that point.  Probably it would have been a better decision not to drive away, but  I completely understand the compulsion to get away from the cameras.  I heard what she was saying as meaning that she was afraid of the dad, still not a good enough excuse for his OR her behavior, but a reason nonetheless.  I do think keeping distance is the best plan.  

The relationship she has with her step-daughter gives me the best hope that her future is positive.  That delighted "Mom!!!!!!" when she surprised them in Oregon was just the sweetest thing ever.  

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1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

This is one of those episodes that just ended too soon.  I hate how they cut off like that - just because they hit the one year mark.   I want to see if she kept going - what she looked like after the skin surgery. 

I hope they'll do a follow up episode on her. 

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1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

I

Oh right - I wanted to comment on the father.  I was very disappointed that there was no resolution with him.  The mother said she was sorry that Brianne hadn't seen him in 11 years - wouldn't any OTHER person go home and confront their spouse about that - "Why don't you go see Brianne!  She is working SO hard to better herself and the support would be great!"  Or - couldn't he CALL her on the phone?  Something?  Anything?  Where is her brother and sister?  They didn't come to see her during her surgery or recovery - are they unsupportive, as well?  They are either a very distant and cold family, or there is more to the story that we weren't privy to.

I was actually glad that we didn't see any resolution with her father.  Her mother, who was the *good* parent in this woman's life, was such a pitiful excuse for a human being ("I'm sorry you felt that way" was as close as she could get to expressing remorse or even sorrow over Brianne's childhood abuse) that I shudder to think how her father would interact with her, in person or on the phone.  I think there is more to the story than we were privy to, which might have included information about the parents' relationship with each other (I think we were told that they live separately?)  which would make the kind of normal interaction you describe not only impossible but undesirable.

Sometimes parents, even parents of adult children, are so toxic to the emotional wellbeing of their kids that no contact at all is best for everyone.  I have a feeling this might be the case with Brianne and her father, and less so with her mother.

I trust Dr. Paradise (especially after hearing from pounders who have consulted him) to guide her concerning what kind of relationship would be healthy for Brianne to pursue with each of her parents.

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2 hours ago, Calamity Jane said:

She has a supportive family at home, and distance from family of origin will probably be a big plus. 

And it's not like this family just magically appeared in her life all perfect and loving.  She actually BUILT it, so I disagree with those who paint her as merely a perpetual victim playing blame games and not growing up.  Yeah, at 30 you should realize that your life is built on your choices and not on what your parents did or did not do - but besides eating herself to 700+ lb, she also built a loving family of her own and she DID realize that she was on the express train to nowhere and really embraced weight loss, doing everything right.  That makes her a decent human being with a good future in my book.  Sure, it's possible she will torpedo herself in the future, but so far it looks like she is on the right track. 

2 hours ago, Kyanight said:

And finally - THOUSANDS of kids are abused and neglected and have serious trauma in their lives - yet they don't balloon up to 750 pounds and lay around all day while others work and bathe them and take care of them.  Yes - something caused a person to go down this road of self-destruction - but I think it's important to come to the realization that It's all a choice and an excuse.  Otherwise everyone who was emotionally wounded as a child would be booking appointments with Dr. Now.

Thousands of those kids and former kids self-destruct in other ways.  Drugs, suicide, abusive relationships, gangs, alcohol, prostitution, gambling - the list goes on and on.  This show just chooses to focus on those who choose to self-destruct through food.   And then there is nearly 17% of women who are taking anti-depressants or have just stopped taking them within the past year.  Sure, there are also people who are able to deal with whatever hardships they had in life without self-destruction and without pharmaceuticals - but usually they had something positive in their life that pulled them through.   We don't have nearly enough information to make a judgement.  The only thing we know is that Brianne has been able to turn her life around, and that's a good thing.  A truly infantile person would not have.

2 hours ago, Kyanight said:

 They are either a very distant and cold family, or there is more to the story that we weren't privy to.

I agree...  and I think it's the former rather than the latter.  There wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy feeling between them when Brianne and her mother reunited after several years in the hotel room before going to Dr. Now.  Or at any other point, in fact, not that I could see.  They behaved more like old acquaintances than family, and I am not a warm and fuzzy person myself. 

44 minutes ago, Mothra said:

(I think we were told that they live separately?)  

I don't think so... I think they both moved to Houston at some point after Brianne moved first to Vegas and then to Oregon.  I forget where she grew up... I think somewhere in the South?

Edited by Hellga.
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I think Brianne's parents still live together, but I'm not sure.     

My cynical view is that the way the mother reacted to seeing Brianne again, and immediately making remarks about how much more she weighed told me exactly how she related to her daughter.     Brianne knew how much she weighed, and didn't need her mother to point that out again.    I bet that if Brianne hadn't lost all of that weight, that her mother would have been gone, and never looked back.     A bully like her father often finds a partner who either is also a bully, or in a total enabler, and ignores whatever he does, and will do nothing to stop him.  

 I may be projecting from my own point of view of mean parents, but the mother never seemed to be doing more than what she thought was expected of her.     I'm guessing the parents didn't live that far away, since in the beginning the mother was going to check on Brianne every other day or so.      

Edited by CrazyInAlabama.
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On 1/11/2019 at 9:06 AM, dahling said:

... from Brianne, who as much as I liked, I do not view as a reliable narrator. We don't know 99.9% of the real story...All I know is that the ambush in the restaurant was bullshit. 

That's basically where I am, and I really like Brianne by the way.  From the very beginning when she was quite young, and the father or mother may not have even been doing anything wrong, she was all kinds of hurt that he was away for his job earning a living.  Wow, bad father.  She claims that when he came back, and the mom had the other kids, that he liked them more, but again, she didn't give any examples of bad favoritism things (like the other two kids could go to movies and she couldn't, or he would say "I love you" to them in front of her and then just stare at her).  Boo hoo.  Actually, to be serious, there are lots of cases of the kids comparing notes later as adults, and finding that they each had the perception that the other kid(s) were the favorites.  Apparently the verbal words of unkindness from him were not that frequent, because that weird bicycle/blame thing with the other two kids stuck out sooo much in her mind (and even then, the other two kids were also punished!).  She has no idea what he did or didn't say to them about the incident, because I think she said she was in her room or something and he handled it separately with them.   Was he father of the year?  No.  Did he say things to her on occasion that were likely cruel?  Probably.  Have I heard tales of abuse?  No.  

I think that all things considered, the mother handled the ambush very well.  She did not invalidate her daughter's claims/concerns, as lots of parents have done.  She did not belittle her daughter for her concerns, she did not take an unpleasant tone.  Multiple times I heard her express her version of sympathy for what her daughter experienced.  Keep in mind that if she had been a perfect communicator for lo these many years, they wouldn't have been in the situation they were in with each other.  So to expect her to have come up with perfect apology wording, when she has likely never done that before, and while being ambushed with cameras in her face when she thought she was just having lunch, after what had apparently been a sh*tty day, is asking a lot.  I felt like Brianne just kept pushing and pushing and repeating herself over and over because she wanted a certain response from her mom, but that doesn't mean that she was entitled to that response, and I thought that the mom showed a remarkable amount of patience to keep re-hashing it with her.  No, she probably shouldn't have gotten up and left the restaurant at the end, but even then, she didn't say anything nasty.  She just expressed (understandable) frustration.

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36 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

I think that all things considered, the mother handled the ambush very well.  She did not invalidate her daughter's claims/concerns, as lots of parents have done.  She did not belittle her daughter for her concerns, she did not take an unpleasant tone.  Multiple times I heard her express her version of sympathy for what her daughter experienced.  Keep in mind that if she had been a perfect communicator for lo these many years, they wouldn't have been in the situation they were in with each other.  So to expect her to have come up with perfect apology wording, when she has likely never done that before, and while being ambushed with cameras in her face when she thought she was just having lunch, after what had apparently been a sh*tty day, is asking a lot.  I felt like Brianne just kept pushing and pushing and repeating herself over and over because she wanted a certain response from her mom, but that doesn't mean that she was entitled to that response, and I thought that the mom showed a remarkable amount of patience to keep re-hashing it with her.  No, she probably shouldn't have gotten up and left the restaurant at the end, but even then, she didn't say anything nasty.  She just expressed (understandable) frustration.

I actually think the mother handled it pretty well, too, and I am not as sympathetic toward her as you are.  We know they'd had a shitty day, and the mom was probably looking forward to sitting down and having lunch.

I disagree, though, that the mom did not invalidate Brianne's claims.  I hate to keep quoting this line, but "I'm sorry you felt that way" to me translates to "I don't know why you would have felt hurt by that, but even though I don't really know what my offense was, I'm sorry that you took it the wrong way and felt hurt about it."  Not "I'm sorry that my (in)actions hurt you," but "I'm sorry that you misinterpreted my (in)actions which were entirely benevolent and never intended to hurt you and felt hurt by them anyway."  I don't know what other interpretation you can put on that kind of non-apology than invalidation of Brianne's feeling hurt.  Beating my dead horse, the mother is gaslighting Brianne by telling her, essentially, that her perception of her situation and how she responded to it were not based on what actually happened.

I was surprised and pleased that the mother was able to sit and listen for as long as she did before she became so upset and ran away.  That can't have been easy, especially for someone who evidently has not had any counseling of her own, even though she has been married to a bully (at least a bully, maybe worse) for most of her life.  Her lack of insight made her too defensive, imo, to be able to respond in a helpful way to what her daughter was telling her.  Even an "I had no idea!" would have been a better response even if it was a lie.  If her mother isn't able to get beyond her own insecurities, I don't see much hope for a good relationship with Brianne, and if their relationship remains at the same level we saw it on the show, I think Brianne would be a lot better off with her mother out of her life entirely.

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3 hours ago, Mothra said:

I disagree, though, that the mom did not invalidate Brianne's claims.  I hate to keep quoting this line, but "I'm sorry you felt that way" to me translates to "I don't know why you would have felt hurt by that, but even though I don't really know what my offense was, I'm sorry that you took it the wrong way and felt hurt about it."  Not "I'm sorry that my (in)actions hurt you," but "I'm sorry that you misinterpreted my (in)actions which were entirely benevolent and never intended to hurt you and felt hurt by them anyway."  I don't know what other interpretation you can put on that kind of non-apology than invalidation of Brianne's feeling hurt.  Beating my dead horse, the mother is gaslighting Brianne by telling her, essentially, that her perception of her situation and how she responded to it were not based on what actually happened.

I would agree with this, if the person was aware of it, but the "other interpretation" is that the mom may not even be aware of it.  If you've grown up with only hearing that form of wording, and no one has brought it to your attention to understand what it is really saying (or not saying), then ignorance, not malice, would be behind her wording.

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I don't think you're an asshole, but if you stare at people for any reason at all, I do think you're rude!

People might be staring because of the camera crew. I've seen this same complaint on some of those teen mom shows, where they claim people are staring because they're young and pregnant. If someone was wandering my grocery store with a camera crew in tow, I'd stare too. And in fairness, some of the people on this show get stared at because they're making a huge scene and drawing attention to themselves. Brianne was not doing that, but a camera crew is going to be pretty obvious, especially when they're focused on a huge woman taking up the whole row of a plane. I'd look too in that situation.

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My cynical self is asking how much these poundticipants truly react to people watching and how much is them acting along to raise the drama for TV.  On one hand, they aren't exactly good at dealing with stress and probably tend to overreact, or they wouldn't be where they are.  On the other hand, it's TV and it is not unscripted. 

I think it's entirely normal for people to look at something extremely unusual (and TV crew in a grocery store is extremely unusual, I personally have never seen that happen, and I am in grocery stores twice a week, usually. It's instincts from back when being observant or not was literally a matter of life or death.  Pointing-staring-laughing-commenting is rude, just looking to see what's going on and moving on is not. 

Edited by Hellga.
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A few years back I was in New York and saw Melissa Gorga (I did not know who it was) walking around in a fat suit followed by cameras. As a woman that at the time was close to that size, I stared not because she was fat but because her face looked plastic (the make up) and the cameras.  I think cameras make people intrigued  

But as a large woman at one time, over 300 pounds, I have had people stare at me or comment for no reason other to make me feel bad and make themselves feel bettter or to laugh. It cruel, rude and you are being an asshole. 

Edited by Aliconehead.
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On 1/10/2019 at 6:19 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

At the end of the show, she still weighed almost 500 pounds! She'd lost well over 200, but she had a long way to go, for sure. As noted above, she's also a tall, big boned girl. Statuesque, not petite.

I do hope that Katrina picks up some better eating habit. She's young and I'd hate to see her go down that same path. She was eating the same junk Bri was.

Rick needs to be watching his rating habit also. Heart patients shouldn’t be snarfing hot dogs and other “crap” (my husband has 6 cardiac stents and he turns pale at the idea of eating poorly, though I admit we were pretty casual about crappy food before he almost had a major heart attack. I hope Rick gets religion, too).

i likes Breanne, Rick, and Catrina very much and I wish them all success and many happy years together. And I was glad to hear that her mom apologized - eventually. If it was sincere, it could go a long way toward helping Breanne heal. But I was also glad to see her moving forward anyway. She is great, and I hope we get a good update on her one day. 

All that being said, I did laugh too hard at “barnyard sandwich.”

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Honestly Brianne was not very entertaining.

#1 - not bed bound

#2 - no festering weeping OW MAH LEGS

Bring on more James K, Steven Assanti and Penny!

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This was a refreshing change of pace. Based on the first 1/3 of the show, I was sure she would not be able to stay on track. But she completely surprised me and did one of the best turnarounds I think I've ever seen on this show. It was really great to see her out playing on a softball team! I think that is the first time I've seen someone on this show go out and get involved in a group activity like that.

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2 minutes ago, ChristmasJones said:

This was a refreshing change of pace. Based on the first 1/3 of the show, I was sure she would not be able to stay on track. But she completely surprised me and did one of the best turnarounds I think I've ever seen on this show. It was really great to see her out playing on a softball team! I think that is the first time I've seen someone on this show go out and get involved in a group activity like that.

That was my favorite part! Especially because she was all alone in that town, far away from family and friends. Can you imagine the courage it took to reach out to strangers and not only ask to join their softball team but also tell them "by the way, this will include a huge ass camera crew too"? 

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Watching this show all these years, I was struck by something with Brianne's story. When Doctor Now laid it out that she will die if she continues, she seemed genuinely shocked and scared and seemed to take the news very seriously. Others I have seen just seem to hear it but it goes in one ear and out the other.  Maybe that helped her? 

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