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S13.E10: Italian Night Fight

20 hours ago, SnarkKitty said:

Ha!!!

 

 

 

 

Unpopular opinion #2: I don't think Gina is saving face. I think she's completely clear on what she wants. When I listen to her, I hear the same thing in my voice when I tell people I'm good, we're good, we're just not going to be together anymore but we're still partners and best friends (we don't do the sex thing though, 'cause if I wanted that part, with him, then he wouldn't be my STBXH. But her situation is different.) Our separation is very amicable and we are lived together through it temporarily for RE reasons. And no matter who comes into my life, they'll need to understand my STBX husband is still my family and will ALWAYS be around. And anyone he's with will need to understand that as well, period. It might be weird to some, but oddly in my family the divorced party never actually seems to go away, lol. We still have ex-BIL, SILs, aunts and uncles at family trips, parties and barbeques. And we're all good with that. 

I think it's true as mentioned that if she was in LI she likely wouldn't get divorced, and that there's nothing ulterior about why they're doing it. That said, I don't think she's being unrealistic but she just hasn't hit the part where even if you know it's the right decision, you're gonna be sad and grieve the "what was/could have been" part. I think that's what the ladies are trying to say but fucking it up in their typical know-it-all fashions. 

 

I think she's saving face.  I might have believed the "we grew apart." stuff if she came onto the show talking about them having a rough go at their relationship other than the separate residences.   Remember the zoo scene?  I remember thinking this poor woman is trying to keep that marriage together, knew it was falling apart, and seemed sad at the reaction she got when she called him.  I think she got Camille Grammer'd; started the show thinking the relationship -- while challenged by the distance -- was still okay.  Then the request for divorce happened and she knew it would be humiliating that she essentially got dumped so crafted this strategy of "nope, I didn't get dumped we just grew apart."

I used to do the "mutual decision" thing when I got dumped!

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3 hours ago, Martinigirl said:

 

I believe it's the same girlfriend from the east coast - and it's a big no no in his company to date someone within the work place.

MARTINIGIRL, since you aren't answering the questions about the above information, I am wondering. Are you "Evelyn"ing us? Or maybe Matt's girlfriend is Evelyn??   : )) 

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7 minutes ago, UsernameFatigue said:

MARTINIGIRL, since you aren't answering the questions about the above information, I am wondering. Are you "Evelyn"ing us? Or maybe Matt's girlfriend is Evelyn??   : )) 

Not pranking you (actually wasn't pranking about evelynn either) it comes from a Gina's brother's friend and Gina's friend states it's been happening for years.  

Edit to add...the brother's friend said they were divorcing before the season even aired.  End of June - ish

They also stated Gina is doing the show to get back at Matt. 

Edited by Martinigirl.
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7 minutes ago, Martinigirl said:

Not pranking you (actually wasn't pranking about evelynn either) it comes from a Gina's brother's friend and Gina's friend states it's been happening for years.  

Edit to add...the brother's friend said they were divorcing before the season even aired.  End of June - ish

They also stated Gina is doing the show to get back at Matt. 

It was definitely public knowledge that they were divorcing before we found out on the show. Gina filed in early April, and this season didn't start airing until I think July? Someone posted a couple of episodes in that Gina had filed for divorce a few months previously. 

So Matt was fooling around on Gina with a coworker when they lived in NJ, then they moved to California and he continued the affair? And had another kid after they moved to Cali? These two really are pathetic. 

Gina asked for sole physical custody and joint legal custody of the kids. Matt asked for joint physical and legal custody. One would think BFFs would have decided such an important detail together when they decided to divorce. 

Yes, not buying Gina's story at all. The one you have posted seems much more likely to me. 

P.S. After Evelynn got her own thread, I kind of lost track as to who she ended up being! 

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9 hours ago, Normades said:

Well, I'll take an application because Gina earned a place in my cold black heart by bravely stating that she has a different belief system while all those hypocrites sat there and tried to tear her down.  It’s a hard thing to do and I commend her for it.  I’m beyond sick of hearing about their Christianity and how much better they are than everyone else, while they lie, cheat, and talk dirty about absolutely everyone.  Way to make your religion look good ladies!  Their reaction is the reason why many people with non-mainstream beliefs feel they cannot share them.  For instance, if some of my coworkers knew what my beliefs are, I think it could impact me negatively in my career.  And here we see it in action, mainstream Christians persecuting someone because they dare to believe differently.  And don’t even get me started on the Christians who get mad at other Christians because they aren’t the right kind of Christian!!  Seriously, have you noticed the way some of them treat the fact that Shane is a Mormon?  They whisper it as if the man has a disease!  Such intolerance!

 

6 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Agreed with you on that.  I can't believe she's being lectured by some of the most hideous humans on the planet.

Much like the OC ladies, I almost fell off my chair when she said she didn't even believe in God. But not for the same reasons. WHAAAA??? Italian girl from LI? And throwing it out there like that? Talk about your plot twist! I for one loved it. #nonbeliever

Welcome to the club, @Normades!

5 hours ago, AnnA said:

The divorce rate in Orange County may be higher than it is here on Long Island but Long Island isn't immune to divorce.  Gina's husband has his own LA apartment so I don't think he's that interested in the marriage regardless of where they were living.  Men (and women) on Long Island who work in NYC commute to their jobs.  

ETA:   People don't live IN Long Island; they live ON Long Island.   

I live "in Manhattan"- also an island. Gina lived "on Long Island." And one can live both "IN" and "ON" Rhode Island. Stop the madness!  

2 hours ago, A-Lo said:

STBX husband?  That's a new one to me.  What does it mean?

@UsernameFatigue for the win: (awesome name, btw)

2 hours ago, UsernameFatigue said:

My guess would be "Soon to be ex husband". 

Yes, thanks. Sorry, side effect from all the time spent in the Reddit forums. :) 

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22 minutes ago, SnarkKitty said:

 

Much like the OC ladies, I almost fell off my chair when she said she didn't even believe in God. But not for the same reasons. WHAAAA??? Italian girl from LI? And throwing it out there like that? Talk about your plot twist! I for one loved it. #nonbeliever

Welcome to the club, @Normades!

I live "in Manhattan"- also an island. Gina lived "on Long Island." And one can live both "IN" and "ON" Rhode Island. Stop the madness!  

@UsernameFatigue for the win: (awesome name, btw)

Yes, thanks. Sorry, side effect from all the time spent in the Reddit forums. :) 

Yes people say "in Manhanttan" but they do NOT say "in Long Island."   They don't say "ON" Rhode Island either just like no one says they live "ON" New York.

And please do not ever call my opinion madness.

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1 hour ago, UsernameFatigue said:

It was definitely public knowledge that they were divorcing before we found out on the show. Gina filed in early April, and this season didn't start airing until I think July? Someone posted a couple of episodes in that Gina had filed for divorce a few months previously. 

So Matt was fooling around on Gina with a coworker when they lived in NJ, then they moved to California and he continued the affair? And had another kid after they moved to Cali? These two really are pathetic. 

Gina asked for sole physical custody and joint legal custody of the kids. Matt asked for joint physical and legal custody. One would think BFFs would have decided such an important detail together when they decided to divorce. 

Yes, not buying Gina's story at all. The one you have posted seems much more likely to me. 

P.S. After Evelynn got her own thread, I kind of lost track as to who she ended up being! 

Sorry, they posted this info (Brother's friend and Gina's friend) 12 days before the divorce became public.  A site went public with the info in late june - ish. 

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20 hours ago, NoWhammies said:

Maybe Gina has a rich sidepiece. 

I think 100% Gina has a boyfriend. 

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21 hours ago, AnnA said:

The divorce rate in Orange County may be higher than it is here on Long Island but Long Island isn't immune to divorce.  Gina's husband has his own LA apartment so I don't think he's that interested in the marriage regardless of where they were living.  Men (and women) on Long Island who work in NYC commute to their jobs.  

ETA:   People don't live IN Long Island; they live ON Long Island.   

I always say I live “in” Long Island. Have I been saying it wrong all these years? I also hear people say “in”....

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I also always say I work “in” Long Island...very interesting... never thought about this...

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2 hours ago, VedaPierce said:

I always say I live “in” Long Island. Have I been saying it wrong all these years? I also hear people say “in”....

 

2 hours ago, VedaPierce said:

I also always say I work “in” Long Island...very interesting... never thought about this...

I wouldn't go as far as to say one is right and one is wrong but I will say that I lived and worked here my whole life and never heard anyone say "in" Long Island.      They'll say I live in [name of town] on Long Island

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On 9/26/2018 at 7:36 AM, RHJunkie said:

I know of children whose parents got divorced when they were adults and they felt devastated and betrayed by their parents because they felt like the relationship they aspired to was a farce.

I know of children whose parents grew more emotionally withdrawn from one another as time went on but stuck together anyways and exposed their children to many fights and nasty comments because the resentment grew -  many of those other kids feel like their sense of marriage and relationships is distorted because the most immediate example of a marriage was an unhealthy one.

The point being, sticking things out isn't always the answer and while marriages do have their peaks and valleys, it's trusting in the foundation of your relationship that will get you through tough times...and maybe during those tough times you realize that what your relationship is built on isn't as strong as you thought. Sticking it out for your children isn't the most selfless thing to do. Because your kids will grow into adults one day and will have the ability to understand the complexity of people and relationships and the importance of feeling happy and fulfilled in life. They will one day understand what they won't as a young child so long as you provide them with a healthy environment that includes spending time with both parents and most importantly successfully co-parent. It's much harder to co-parent (married or divorced) if you hate the other person.

Not to pick on you RHJunkie, but as you and others want to point to bad marriages affecting children, here is Google's top result for affect of divorce on children, and is in great part why I would want Gina to reconsider and work on her marriage (unless, as said ,he has moved on):

...a 2014 study...

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4240051/

 

...30 years....demonstrates that children living with their married, biological parents consistently have better physical, emotional, and academic well-being. Pediatricians and society should promote the family structure that has the best chance of producing healthy children. The best scientific literature to date suggests that, with the exception of parents faced with unresolvable marital violence, children fare better when parents work at maintaining the marriage. Consequently, society should make every effort to support healthy marriages and to discourage married couples from divorcing.

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On 9/27/2018 at 6:21 AM, ShawnaLanne said:

Suppose Gina sticks it out another four years and they grow to hate each other, with all that entails.

But they are each other's "best friends", right?  And if both parties would seriously try to make a life and a marriage aren't the odds at little low for that?

Marriage is not for the faint hearted.  Maybe she was a fool who married and had kids because everyone else was doing it.  but all great endeavors entail some risk.  Why develop property, why write a book, etc,  So why not try for a great marriage with a guy (her current H) that she likes?  These kids need to be shown success in marriage and life.  Imho

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On 9/27/2018 at 6:56 AM, sasha206 said:

I don't believe for one minute that Gina wants this divorce.  Saving face is what she's doing.  

Well you may be right.  Except to me she is coming off more and more as dingbat.  Even with her parents she seems to say she wants to do what she will do, and they say "she's always made good decisions" but MAYBE without really guiding her to make better decisions.  So far, of what we've seen, her decisions were to get married because other people were, have kids because other people were, move to California and let hubbie work for weeks at a time without seeing him.  And her ability to control her kids seems pretty poor.  My wife (and I) at 34 had 3 kids also, and the house ran much much more smoothly.

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8 hours ago, MajorNelson said:

Not to pick on you RHJunkie, but as you and others want to point to bad marriages affecting children, here is Google's top result for affect of divorce on children, and is in great part why I would want Gina to reconsider and work on her marriage (unless, as said ,he has moved on):

...a 2014 study...

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4240051/

When you've experienced this type of marriage in your home and you know more people than you should who have had similar experiences, it's hard to prioritize the opinions of a pediatrician and society over your own experiences. When children are involved, I think the average couple will try to make their marriage work the best way they can and they will think about how the decision of divorce will affect the children before they consider how it will affect them. I don't think it's fair to assume that because a couple decides on divorce it's because they didn't try. And I don't think we should prescribe unto others what we deem to be 'trying'. We are different people with different lives and barring parents who demonstrate themselves to be unreasonable, selfish and uncaring of their children and overall family dynamics, there's no reason to assume that two consenting adults aren't capable of first working on their marriage in the ways they feel is most reasonable for them. Forever working on a marriage that could lead to infidelity or other big factors that can cause hostility, in the end, will likely create the most unhealthy environment for the children. I think people need to consider their specific circumstances and no matter what decision you choose, there's no guarantee that it won't have any kind of negative impact on the children.

Of course I support that couples make a concerted effort to work on their relationship in hopes of re-establishing love, support, communication, commitment and fulfillment in one another and I support that whether there are children involved or not.

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On 10/1/2018 at 3:35 PM, UsernameFatigue said:

Shane was nicer to Kelly than I would have been. And if I recall correctly, Shane is an attorney. He was a practicing attorney in Utah but has not written the bar exam to practice in Cali. Or did he write it and fail and hasn't rewritten? Can't remember. It may be that he prefers what he is doing now to being a lawyer. I know several lawyers, and I can't say that any of them love their jobs, including one who has only been a lawyer for 5 years, and a couple that have been lawyers for 40 years. 

When I was googling to see if Shane actually practiced in another state (as I thought he had) I came across info that he has a YouTube channel devoted to his children. Matt could take a lesson on how to be an involved dad, as opposed to one who prefers to spend the majority of his time in another city. 

In any case everyone's mileage varies. I have liked Shane from the start (likely because he reminds me of me - lol) and continue to. 

I actually loathed him in the beginning but I am starting to like him.  I like him more than 3/4 of the cast of the show.

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On 10/2/2018 at 1:47 PM, VedaPierce said:

I always say I live “in” Long Island. Have I been saying it wrong all these years? I also hear people say “in”....

People live on Sanibel, an Island.  People live in Key West, also am Island.  People live on Cape Cod, which is a penninsula type thing.   But for Long Island, you can say either, because Long Islanders are super cool, except Gina.  

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11 hours ago, RHJunkie said:

When you've experienced this type of marriage in your home and you know more people than you should who have had similar experiences, it's hard to prioritize the opinions of a pediatrician and society over your own experiences. When children are involved, I think the average couple will try to make their marriage work the best way they can and they will think about how the decision of divorce will affect the children before they consider how it will affect them. I don't think it's fair to assume that because a couple decides on divorce it's because they didn't try. And I don't think we should prescribe unto others what we deem to be 'trying'. We are different people with different lives and barring parents who demonstrate themselves to be unreasonable, selfish and uncaring of their children and overall family dynamics, there's no reason to assume that two consenting adults aren't capable of first working on their marriage in the ways they feel is most reasonable for them. Forever working on a marriage that could lead to infidelity or other big factors that can cause hostility, in the end, will likely create the most unhealthy environment for the children. I think people need to consider their specific circumstances and no matter what decision you choose, there's no guarantee that it won't have any kind of negative impact on the children.

Of course I support that couples make a concerted effort to work on their relationship in hopes of re-establishing love, support, communication, commitment and fulfillment in one another and I support that whether there are children involved or not.

I appreciate your view and thank you for writing this response.   Life is hard.  Living in bad marriages can suck,  Now, if only the partners would endeavor to work on them rather than bailing.  That;'s my hope.

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16 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

People live on Sanibel, an Island.  People live in Key West, also am Island.  People live on Cape Cod, which is a penninsula type thing.   But for Long Island, you can say either, because Long Islanders are super cool, except Gina.  

I love you, Mu Shu! Always have :) XO

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2 hours ago, VedaPierce said:

I love you, Mu Shu! Always have :) XO

Can I come over for Caawfee, and will you show me the Amityville horror house? 

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On 10/4/2018 at 12:29 AM, MajorNelson said:

But they are each other's "best friends", right?  And if both parties would seriously try to make a life and a marriage aren't the odds at little low for that?

Marriage is not for the faint hearted.  Maybe she was a fool who married and had kids because everyone else was doing it.  but all great endeavors entail some risk.  Why develop property, why write a book, etc,  So why not try for a great marriage with a guy (her current H) that she likes?  These kids need to be shown success in marriage and life.  Imho

I should know. I was married 18 years. I just think all of the Pearl clutching, from Vicki in particular, a what two/three time divorcee is ridiculous. 

I also think there is more going on than Gina is acknowledging and his apartment situation sounds like a trial separation. 

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On 9/24/2018 at 9:48 PM, Bronzedog said:

I never thought someone else’s divorce was any of my business.

Vicki talking about a moral compass?  That’s rich.

No kidding and just because someone doesn’t believe in “god” doesn’t mean they don’t have a moral compass..though Tamras reaction was priceless..the little hussy

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On 9/25/2018 at 11:24 AM, walnutqueen said:

Nope.  There is only ONE cancer scammer.

 

Lowlife Vicky's "yard" is like Hugh Heffner's wannabe rape grotto.

LVP's palace has animals - lots & lots of them, and the glass front door is just a bonus window onto their world.  I need a moat and a couple of bitchy swans.

Bitchy swans lol and classy bitchy like LVP!

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On 10/6/2018 at 4:30 PM, ShawnaLanne said:

I also think there is more going on than Gina is acknowledging and his apartment situation sounds like a trial separation. 

Considering she said she has never seen that apartment...um, yeah that smells like a separation.

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On 9/25/2018 at 2:30 PM, LibertarianSlut said:

They flashed back to Jeana Keough for a micro-second last night, and I got all weepy for days gone by, when they used to let things hang out. Jeana and her absent husband and abusive children would never fail us, week in, week out. Where is Lynn Curtin getting evicted? Gretchen and Lynne shouting across a table about whether a woman had a "God right" to have the last word on parenting, just because she spread her legs and had a kid (Gretchen's words, not mine).

Remember Tammy and her dysfunctional daughters, including the one who climbed through her house's doggie door so she could have a party while her mom was out of town?  Where are the doggie doors and Cat Crap Condos of yesteryear??

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On 9/26/2018 at 2:43 PM, ghoulina said:

I can't imagine my husband living somewhere and I don't even know where it is.) It's not so much Gina GETTING the divorce that I take issue with. It's her level of superiority about how much her divorce will be than everyone else's. It screams of defensiveness. 

I mean, I'm no Gina fan (or anyone on this show fan, for that matter... well, Jolie's all right...) but I think she was being defensive in this moment because she was literally defending herself from the pile-on that was happening.  When you have four women telling you "Our divorces sucked and yours is going to be the same," over and over, I can see wanting to stand up for yourself and saying that, no, it's not.  She was definitely doubling down and becoming more defensive as the dinner went on, but I also think that's understandable.  I don't think she's going around talking about how her divorce will be The King of Divorces, willy nilly.  And on the phone with her mom she was a lot more vulnerable.  That said, I haven't gotten past this episode yet, so maybe she does something in the future that will change my opinion. 

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On 9/26/2018 at 9:15 PM, lezlers said:

'm also a child of divorce and it really wasn't a big deal.   I honestly don't get the "those poor kids!!!" mentality.  If the parents divorce amicably while they're very young it will likely have no effect on them at all, as they won't even know any different. 

Plus, Matt doesn't even live with them right now.  It's not like they'll be going from an involved, hands-on father to a weekend dad. 

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3 hours ago, ladle said:

Plus, Matt doesn't even live with them right now.  It's not like they'll be going from an involved, hands-on father to a weekend dad. 

That new living situation will really screw up his life. He will actually have to come to the OC and live with his children some of the time. 

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