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S09.E08: A Gordon Ramsay Wedding

The contestants head to Malibu, California, and cook for Season 7 winner Shaun O’Neale’s wedding – with Gordon Ramsay officiating! After splitting into 2 teams, the home cooks have limited time to prepare and cook 51 appetizers and 51 entrees for guests in attendance. Then, it is up to the judges to decide who will stay and who will head home.

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Glad to see Bowen is not the stereotype of the week. But wow, these contestants are hateful toward each other.

ETA: There are scenes of Shanika standing in the kitchen just eating food, so now I definitely believe she's an actress there to make trouble and not a serious contestant.

Edited by LaChavalina. Reason: Shanika, Ugh.
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I honestly slept through this episode. When I saw it was all about Shaun, my mind went elsewhere.

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17 minutes ago, cooksdelight said:

I honestly slept through this episode. When I saw it was all about Shaun, my mind went elsewhere.

You didn’t miss much.  Hated this episode.  Gordon and Aaron were out of their minds and Gordon was louder, crazier, ruder than usual.  Gordon even criticized Matt for his appearance (a big no-no for me, male or female) and I’ve never seen Aaron so unhinged.  So much manufactured drama.  I almost turned it off several times.

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I don’t like any of these people.  I actually  hate a few of them.   The clown hair, the obnoxious attitudes, the crying, the grating accents and the endless ass kissing & excessive use of hyperbole has finally worn me down.  I can’t take the manufactured drama either.  The casting department must be actively weeding out people who really can cook, because some of this season’s contestants are just too stupid to work a microwave, never mind sear scallops.

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I’m hoping that giraffe is the guest judge, since that way there would finally be someone with a flattering wardrobe making decisions on this show. Now that I’ve said that, I’m fully expecting the actual guest judge will be Bai Ling after she performs a medley of Heart songs while the bride and groom walk down the aisle.

I’m excited for this season’s soundtrack to be released so I can make “Anyone Suggesting an Orange Zested Mash Is Stunningly Fucking Crazy” my new ringtone. The dramatic drum solo was also a perfect segue into the rainbow poop emoji on Chelsea’s top.

“This is somebody’s wedding! Finish me off! Give me beautiful!” I like that Aaron is channeling a future straight-to-Cinemax sequel of Wedding Chasers. I think Bai Ling will play one of the lead roles.

Julia: “We’re not gonna frickin’ lose because this is someone’s frickin’ wedding and I’m frickin’ the female Mike Ditka and I’m gonna frickin’ take this team to the frickin’ top like when the Bears beat the frickin’ hell out of the Patriots in Super Bowl XX and I’m gonna win this frickin’ competition and wind up as a line cook at the Oakbrook Terrace frickin’ Ditka’s!”

There were several times when Gordon’s criticisms made Juni look so shocked, his mouth opened wide enough to look like he was going to fellate a traffic cone. Stunning!

This episode has been going on for at least three and a half hours. I took a break to clip my finger- and toenails and read the first half of Finnegan’s Wake and I can still hear the incidental music crawling to an unsatisfying climax. This show is becoming a metaphor for foreplay that’s basically 33 minutes of this that then leads up to this.

I sort of love how after 650 minutes of plodding shit, they're like, Well fuck, no pressure test this week because we want to give everyone enough time to drink a few shots of 151 and watch Sophie's Choice to lift their spirits after this episode.

And I'm doing so now. While shopping for giraffe bow ties and refurbished traffic cones online.

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I watch these shows (including 24 Hours etc.) after recording them. I have found that with fast forward I can see all of the interesting stuff in about 20 minutes, skipping the commercials, the filler and the duplicated footage.

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I'm confused:

I thought Juni didn't like Shannika, so he passed her one, and she was chosen for the red team. Id this correct? If so, how did she end up on the blue team?

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11 minutes ago, 7isBlue said:

I'm confused:

I thought Juni didn't like Shannika, so he passed her one, and she was chosen for the red team. Id this correct? If so, how did she end up on the blue team?

They had them switch teams. 

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11 minutes ago, 7isBlue said:

I'm confused:

I thought Juni didn't like Shannika, so he passed her one, and she was chosen for the red team. Id this correct? If so, how did she end up on the blue team?

Yup, and then Ramsay switched the team leaders so as to Heighten The Drama. Yawn.  The scripting was so, so bad and so, so obvious in this episode.  And Gordon, love, upping the bleep-factor in your harangues doesn't add to the experience, it just makes me keep checking my remote control to see if the sound is cutting out... or whether it's worth changing the channel.

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Orange zest mashed potatoes????? ORANGE ZEST MASHED POTATOES, How could anybody think that would be good?

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I didn't think it possible for Shaun to look worse than he did while competing in MC, but he looked even derpier in his wedding getup.  Mrs. Shaun came across exactly as someone who would agree to marry Shaun.

Did Gordon get an online ordination, or was the "ceremony" just performance art?

What was going through Juni's mind when he announced his menu?  Even my dog turned away in disgust.

Juni was the right one to send home.  Besides, they had to reduce Aaron's mentees this week.

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5 hours ago, Emkat said:

Mrs. Shaun's fake boobs are awful. Not to mention her orange skin tone. It's hard to take any of this seriously after seeing all that.

I couldn't tell if it was her orange skin or her incredibly whitened teeth. I was kind of distracted by the fake boobs, tbh. 

5 hours ago, GaT said:

Orange zest mashed potatoes????? ORANGE ZEST MASHED POTATOES, How could anybody think that would be good?

I just don't see how that works on any level. I wonder if Juni had actually made that before. 

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I call shenanigans on that one team throwing away all those mushrooms. Besides being incredibly wasteful, doesn't the show have staff to feed when the cameras aren't rolling?

Poor Juni. It couldn't have been anybody but him going home. Oh well... at least his lip gloss was popping until the end.

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This was NOT entertaining.  People screaming at each other, two teams making essentially the same dinners.

I don't believe that they threw out those ingredients. Why would anyone throw out mushrooms and sauce?   

So many attempts to make things dramatic and suspenseful. But it fell flat because it's so hard to care. 

There was no reason for Gordon to be so mean, he can let someone go without humiliating them.  Even his comments to Ashley, tearing her down for getting tearful when he screamed in her face. Does he think it's fun to watch people be bullied? 

The show just seems to be too mean-spirited to be fun to watch.

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I absolutely hate these wedding episodes with the manufactured drama.

I couldn't take my eyes off of Mrs Shaun's boobs. This is not a compliment. 

"Finish me off"? Ew. No. Just.....no.  Almost as bad as show me your pie

"I'm wearing Gordon's pin. If I don't make it to the balcony,  he'll be so disappointed."  What is he, a college fraternity boy?

Edited by OoogleEyes.
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I’m guessing he used some of that magnificient prize money to buy her a set. He needs to buy her a tanning bed so she doesn’t have to use that orange spray. Notice how white his forehead is from wearing that stupid hat all the time?

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They are not all home cooks, despite their various job descriptions. Chelsea, the woman with the multi-colored hair, she is always advertising her steak dinner pop-ups that she does on a weekly basis. 

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13 hours ago, DoctorK said:

I watch these shows (including 24 Hours etc.) after recording them. I have found that with fast forward I can see all of the interesting stuff in about 20 minutes, skipping the commercials, the filler and the duplicated footage.

I fast-forwarded through most of the episode because I'm not a Shaun fan anyway. 

At this point, I'm here for @Aerobicidal's posts. 

11 hours ago, Emkat said:

Mrs. Shaun's fake boobs are awful. Not to mention her orange skin tone. It's hard to take any of this seriously after seeing all that.

She's either a cocktail server or a "dancer."

She reminds me of many women I'd see when I lived in LV.

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Does Gordon have dual citizenship?  I assume he got one of those on line licenses to perform the wedding ceremony but I'd think that one would have to be a citizen to have the wedding be legal.  His U.S. residence is in California where anything seems to go so I could easily be wrong.

So much of this show is contrived that I can't take any of it seriously any more.  That bit of Gordon screaming about the lentils is a good example.  If they were so wildly and awfully inappropriate for a summer wedding, why were they hauled to a small pantry of supplies in the first place?

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6 minutes ago, mlp said:

That bit of Gordon screaming about the lentils is a good example.  If they were so wildly and awfully inappropriate for a summer wedding, why were they hauled to a small pantry of supplies in the first place?

Wasn't it "Farro" that he pitched a fit about? I don't remember him saying anything about the red team's menu, just about the blue team's (that was the losing color right?)

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I am betting Shaun and his wife were married by a legal clergy off camera, and Gordon was just for the show. 

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What a lopsided competition.  Juni vs. Julia?  Handpicked by the "mentors" to see what they could do?  Good lord, they didn't have an injured lamb they could pit against a hungry wolf to make it more obvious?  I did like the leaders having to swap teams after choosing their preferred team, but I wonder if they still would have done that if Juni hadn't said he didn't want Shanika on his team.  Even after swapping teams, I knew Julia would win.  In these team competitions, the leader with the loudest voice and strongest presence always wins.  Always.  Because the challenge is more about organization and control than actual cooking. 

 

I think the similar menus were a result of limited options in the pantry--I don't think there were a lot of options.  I know if I were choosing a menu a bunch of  individual "home" cooks lacking catering experience would have to produce for 50 guests, I would not choose scallops or duck.  Obviously farro and lentils were in the pantry.  I'm curious why farro was too winter-y, and lentils were not?  That had to be a very limited pantry, because if farro was unacceptable, I would have gone to orzo or couscous or *gasp* risotto as a lighter option rather than straight to celeriac puree.  There also must not have been a lot of fresh fruit options other than cherry for the duck.  Obviously there was citrus, so I would have gone more to a duck a l'orange entree, but that's easy for me to say. 

 

Why wasn't the kid who cooks in his family's eastern seaboard seafood restaurant cooking the scallops?

 

I'm starting to lean toward the "Shanika is a production plant" conspiracy theory.  When her team's mashed potato prep is being so roundly jeered at by Gordon Ramsay, she makes one random exclamation of "fondant potatoes!" and suddenly Gordo is all over that and the menu changes. 

 

Juni deserved to go home, that was a very poor showing, but let's face it, he was out of his depth from the get-go and was never going to get anywhere near the end.  But it still wasn't very fair--the deck was stacked against him, and he was basically handpicked to fail. 

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1 hour ago, mlp said:

 

Does Gordon have dual citizenship?  I assume he got one of those on line licenses to perform the wedding ceremony but I'd think that one would have to be a citizen to have the wedding be legal.  His U.S. residence is in California where anything seems to go so I could easily be wrong

 

At least in California you don’t have to be a citizen to marry someone as long as you are ordained. I have had friends who have gotten married by people from Mexico, Italy and France without an issue.

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10 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

At least in California you don’t have to be a citizen to marry someone as long as you are ordained. I have had friends who have gotten married by people from Mexico, Italy and France without an issue.

You don't even have to be ordained. We were married by a friend and all we had to do was get him a one-day license at the courthouse.

I had blotted out of my mind the giant BOOBS of Shawn's wife. She looked like she was fighting a wardrobe malfunction with the skirt of her wrap dress when they first walked in, too.

I was sure the woman whose name I've already forgotten (the other one left at the end with Juni) was going to go home, simply on the basis of her getting the first talking head and the fact that I did not remember ever seeing her.

Shannika was still nasty this episode but at least she wasn't incompetent. I wasn't sure why Juni went into the challenge with the expectation that the team was making what he dictated, rather than asking for input.

Edited by jcbrown.
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Where did the Hell did Julia come from? It was bad enough that Masterchef, Junior kept adding contestants; now they're doing that with this show?

 And they need to drop being shocked- shocked!-  that home cooks might have problems cooking for a large group. I mean seriously. 

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Wasn't it "Farro" that he pitched a fit about?

I think you're right but......same comment.  Why were they even there if they were so inappropriate for the function?  It's not like the cooks had access to the huge pantry that has everything you can think of.  The farro and lentils had to be trucked to the venue deliberately.

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Well nice job show, you took what should a wonderful event - a wedding (aside from trophy bride, good lord Shaun you can do better) - and spun it to a negative drama fest. Ordinarily there is at least ONE person on each side I'm rooting for or sympathetic with. NOT THIS TIME. Agreed with earlier posters, did not like anybody this time around, chefs included. Joe was at least tolerable as he didn't snark on anyone, and he seemed genuinely concerned with how the guests were doing. GR and Aaron seemed to have been coached to crank up bitch mode a few notches, as it went from preparing to YELLING really quickly. 

Kudos to Ashley, if that was acting when GR was berating her, I totally bought it and felt bad for you. If it wasn't acting, chin up girl, we all have bad days.

Oh and yeah golden rule GR pointed out - if you haven't seen a restaurant do it, there's probably a reason why. Orange zest mash, yikes.

Edited by Colorado David.
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20 hours ago, Emkat said:

Mrs. Shaun's fake boobs are awful. Not to mention her orange skin tone. It's hard to take any of this seriously after seeing all that.

I can't remember what she looked like because all I could see was BOOBS. And then I said to myself that it makes sense that Shaun would marry BOOBS. I don't know the guy but I'm pretty sure I'm right about this.

Also, because I can be a huge asshole, I give it a year.

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I know this is an untimely comment but I sorely miss Dino.

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15 hours ago, NowVoyager said:

I call shenanigans on that one team throwing away all those mushrooms. Besides being incredibly wasteful, doesn't the show have staff to feed when the cameras aren't rolling?

I've been thinking about this, we saw her throw it away, so I guess she really did, but how many hungry people could have been fed with that food? It's a real sin to throw away food when you could give it to someone who needs it. The judges are all chefs, do they really condone this?

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1 hour ago, zibnchy said:

I can't remember what she looked like because all I could see was BOOBS. And then I said to myself that it makes sense that Shaun would marry BOOBS. I don't know the guy but I'm pretty sure I'm right about this.

Also, because I can be a huge asshole, I give it a year.

When I saw Mrs. Shaun's plunging neckline I thought to myself, "Give me a break", but at least her wedding gown was kind of nice.  And appropriate.

There's something repulsive about Shaun, though.  His Cheshire cat/Alfred E. Newman grin are just creepy.  Still, he gets points for knowing how and when to use an adverb, unlike his wife.

I agree that Gordon and Aaron were unnecessarily mean in this episode and that Aaron was completely off the chain.  Mr. No yelled at the TV for him to "Calm the F down, it's only food".  The two of them stole all the attention away from Joe.  It's almost like he wasn't in this episode at all.  I don't get the point of all that.  I thought Gordon was getting away from the hyped up nasty stuff anyway.

It may be me, but I think Shanika's bark is worse than her bite.  I think it's her look that makes her seem scary, but in reality she's really not quite as severe as she looks.

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15 minutes ago, GaT said:

I've been thinking about this, we saw her throw it away, so I guess she really did, but how many hungry people could have been fed with that food? It's a real sin to throw away food when you could give it to someone who needs it. The judges are all chefs, do they really condone this?

Gordon Ramsay is famous for throwing away food, trashing it on the floor, no regard for anything but ratings. He does it on all of his shows. It’s one of the things I despise about him, and if I ever meet him I will tell him so. If you sign up to be on this show, you must also throw food into the trash.

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I haven't watched yet, but based on the below:

On 7/12/2018 at 12:31 AM, surreysmum said:

And Gordon, love, upping the bleep-factor in your harangues doesn't add to the experience, it just makes me keep checking my remote control to see if the sound is cutting out... or whether it's worth changing the channel.

 

 

23 hours ago, backformore said:

This was NOT entertaining.  People screaming at each other, two teams making essentially the same dinners.

I don't believe that they threw out those ingredients. Why would anyone throw out mushrooms and sauce?   

So many attempts to make things dramatic and suspenseful. But it fell flat because it's so hard to care. 

There was no reason for Gordon to be so mean, he can let someone go without humiliating them.  Even his comments to Ashley, tearing her down for getting tearful when he screamed in her face. Does he think it's fun to watch people be bullied? 

The show just seems to be too mean-spirited to be fun to watch.

I thought this was MasterChef, but from what I'm reading here, it sounds like it's an episode of Hell's Kitchen.

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20 hours ago, mlp said:

Does Gordon have dual citizenship?  I assume he got one of those on line licenses to perform the wedding ceremony but I'd think that one would have to be a citizen to have the wedding be legal.  His U.S. residence is in California where anything seems to go so I could easily be wrong.

 

 

19 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

I am betting Shaun and his wife were married by a legal clergy off camera, and Gordon was just for the show. 

I agree.  A lot of these "weddings"  are just done for the show, they're not the real weddings at all.  

This was staged for Gordon Ramsey's enormous ego.   The bride and groom are waiting - "Where's Gordon?"  He arrives in the nick of time, all dressed up, performs the ceremony! then has to change into his chef clothes so he can supervise the kitchen,( yell at people in the kitchen,) because they are about to ruin the (re-enactment of)  the most important day of this couple's life!   The man can (pretend to)  Do IT ALL! 

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We had a power outage on Wednesday night so the DVR only got the last 15 minutes.  Unfortunately, I went against my better instincts and sought out the whole episode On Demand.  Next time, will someone please remind me not to bother?  These contrived "feed 100 people" , let alone "weddings" are the worst episodes on this show.  When Joe Bastardbitch comes off as the sympathetic nice guy, you know you're in trouble.  However, congratulations to Shaun and his boobalicious Oompa Loompa.  Yikes.

Edited by Rammchick.
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On ‎7‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 8:33 AM, backformore said:

This was NOT entertaining.  People screaming at each other, two teams making essentially the same dinners.

I don't believe that they threw out those ingredients. Why would anyone throw out mushrooms and sauce?   

So many attempts to make things dramatic and suspenseful. But it fell flat because it's so hard to care. 

There was no reason for Gordon to be so mean, he can let someone go without humiliating them.  Even his comments to Ashley, tearing her down for getting tearful when he screamed in her face. Does he think it's fun to watch people be bullied? 

The show just seems to be too mean-spirited to be fun to watch.

You've clearly never seen Hell's Kitchen.

Gordon screaming "Potatohead!!" is my new text alert.

I tolerated Aaron on Chopped. On this show, I can't even do that.

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I also kept thinking:  how close is that cook tent to the actual wedding guests?  No matter how far away, it couldn't have been far enough.  At the level Gordon and Aaron were LOSING IT vocally, berating nearly everyone, and throwing fits over food, I thought that surely the guests could hear it all.  Yes, it was a televised wedding and the guests must have been prepped about that kind of thing happening, but it was a horrible vibe for a wedding setting. 

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Next time someone asks you “What’s a trainwreck on TV?” Point them to this episode. It was embarrassing.

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12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

 The two of them stole all the attention away from Joe.  It's almost like he wasn't in this episode at all.  

 You know, now that you mention it, I can't remember Joe being in this episode all!

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Against my better judgment, I am watching this here and there... mostly because I'm finally caught up on Masterchef Australia. Gordon spent a half week with the Aussie cooks and he was much more likable than I have ever found him on any of his American teevee shows. 

This season of MC is the most scripted I have ever seen to date and it makes me sad because GR went on and on ad nauseum about what a fan he is of MC AU and the vibe of that show and this show could not be any more polar opposite.

Why do they keep dragging out Shaun? What is the reason Dino will not appear on this season? Someone mentioned it but I didn't understand it or I don't know the backstory.

Ooogle, Joe was there, but barely... he had to return some food to the red team and instead of telling them it was raw and telling them they needed to re-fire, he had to throw the plates so the food went everywhere... so he could fit in better with GR and Aarrrrrron??

Can't stand Aaron Sanchez, sorry; I'd rather have Tosi than him because at least her hands are not tattooed, making them look as if they need to be washed at all times.

Idc who wins this mess but I'm rooting for a couple of the nicer Houston contestants and I like the guy with glasses - the one Gordon called Clark Kent? Beyonce-hair may be a production plant. She's definitely there to stir up shit, whether it's of her own making or at the behest of producers.

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4 hours ago, PepperMonkey said:Why do they keep dragging out Shaun? What is the reason Dino will not appear on this season? Someone mentioned it but I didn't understand it or I don't know the backstory.

Possible guesses: veganism, scandalous facebook replies from aeons ago, no cookbook. 

But honestly I don't believe any of those was the case. I guess someone in the production crew must genuinely hate him for some reason. To this date, how Season 8 was carried out (I do think it's the only delectable season of MCUS and it's dispiriting to see they completely steered away from that and made it into a shitshow in Season 9), how Dino clinched his victory and how Dino was chosen as a winner (no those two are not the same thing) was still an utter mystery to me. 

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Taylor: “It’s such  an honor to cook for Shaun!”

 

Me:?????

 

Taylor: ”He’s such marvelous great good amazing cook!” 

Me: in what universe????

Shut up Taylor.

And then Shaun saying he wants Duck and then says it better be perfect. Like every dish he cooked in his season was perfect. Then later he says he hopes no one fucks up cooking the duck because it’s not easy and that they know to render it. Then cue to...Chelsea (?) saying EXACTLY what that tool Shaun did.

Shut up Ashley.

Julia was an absolute arrogant ass this week. Where the hell did that come from? She was pretty quiet last week when she suddenly showed up last week.

I guess it depends on your nationality when it comes to lentils at weddings. There are always two kinds of daal (lentils) at Indian weddings.

Ugh. Just as I thought: this episode was more like Hell’s Kitchen.. I’m surprised Gordon didn’t call Juni a donkey.

Edited by GHScorpiosRule.
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3 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Taylor: ”He’s such marvelous great good amazing cook!” 

Me: in what universe????

Shut up Taylor.

In case you have forgotten, Shaun and Taylor were originally from the same season.

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On 7/13/2018 at 10:56 AM, backformore said:

 

I agree.  A lot of these "weddings"  are just done for the show, they're not the real weddings at all.  

This was staged for Gordon Ramsey's enormous ego.   The bride and groom are waiting - "Where's Gordon?"  He arrives in the nick of time, all dressed up, performs the ceremony! then has to change into his chef clothes so he can supervise the kitchen,( yell at people in the kitchen,) because they are about to ruin the (re-enactment of)  the most important day of this couple's life!   The man can (pretend to)  Do IT ALL! 

Only Gordon has an ego big enough to make himself the star of someone else’s wedding. 

I don’t know if I’m getting crankier in my old age, but everything about Gordon irritates me these days. I’m not questioning his talent, but he is insufferable. 

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On 7/13/2018 at 8:30 AM, axlmadonna said:

Gordon screaming "Potatohead!!" is my new text alert.

Ha ha ha!  Love this. 

-----------------------

I was dozing off and on through this episode so did not register on the orange boobs.  I am fine with that.  :> I read who was booted here, I didn't make it that far.  

When this show was new we all commented on how much we enjoyed Gordon as himself outside of Hell's Kitchen.  When that changed my disappointment was palpable.  

I despise the challenges where they serve 100 people.  Amature cooks don't have the skill to do this and it makes for terrible TV.  Not fun. 

I don't know names but I think Aaron's boy who is a teacher I think will win this.  He seems all gathered up. 

It was a huge miss not to have who their mentor is prominently displayed on their apron.  I only know when they mention it, the pins are very tiny.  

In general, ugh. 

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