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Season Four Discussion

On 4/26/2018 at 11:02 AM, iMonrey said:

The yearbook guy is still alive, so far as we know. They never said one way or another.

 Just picking your quote to add- they didn't show his name in the yearbook and to be honest, he looked like a generic round-faced, blond white guy from any 1965 yearbook. There are probably a couple hundred thousand guys out there today who could match that picture! I doubt any families today could say, without a doubt, that the picture matches their dad or relative.

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So tonight's episode... I thought the woman looking for her bio dad seemed to have way too many expectations that finding her dad was going to fix everything about her life and mend her unhappy childhood. It seemed like she still needed to work through the issues she had with her mom to heal that pain. But her dad seemed nice. I was pretty shocked that he had already changed his retirement plans before he even met her. Did he ever have other children? They did not say.

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I live for this show on Sunday nights. The genuine emotion gets me every time. That embrace that Katie shared with her bio Mom was just so joyful. And there was such a striking resemblance in their manner and physicality. 

The other journey left me with mixed feelings. I do sometimes find myself growing anxious when there seems to be a searcher who has so much emotional investment riding on the searchee's continued existence and then their acceptance. The sheer weight of those hopes alone, man. I don't judge her, she obviously felt beaten down by it all these years, and intellectually she realized her expectations may not be terribly realistic, but it was still not as easy to watch as the other journey. He seemed like a sweetie, though. I hope they can make a go of it. 

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I enjoyed both of those stories.  I thought that the daughter looked a lot like her father, and the fact that he had originally planned to move to the Philippines makes me think he doesn't have any other family.  He seemed thrilled to have grandchildren.

Katie and her mom both wore pink, white, and black to their meeting.  To me, it seemed symbolic of how similar they are.  I am hopeful that this will be a successful reunion.

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I agree that Tina seems very needy and I don't like her chances of developing a good relationship with her birth father. Every so often they get someone who seems broken beyond what this show is able to fix. 

The story with Katie and Lynn was sweet but not especially compelling. So far this season, all the stories have been about children looking for their parents. For some reason it seems more interesting to me when it's a parent that has given up a child and is searching for it rather than the other way around.

I want to award bonus points to Lisa Joyner for pulling her car over to take a call on her cell phone. Nothing annoys me more than people who talk on their phone while driving.

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A bit boring. But I felt bad for Tina that her mom changed her story after nearly 40 years and that her father seemed to have a different take on the kind of person her mom was when he knew her.

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 I agree.  None of these stories seem to be particularly compelling and I'm a very big sap about this because I was contacted through Ancestry DNA by someone who was looking for her birth family.  She got a hit with me as being a 1st or 2nd cousin.  Turns out one of my first cousins gave a daughter up for adoption 58 years ago (big family secret) and have now been reunited.  I may have posted this before.   It's an amazing story - turns out she lives 10 minutes away from her half sister and they have several friends in common.  It's an awesome story book ending.

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it seems more interesting to me when it's a parent that has given up a child and is searching for it rather than the other way around.

I think there are a lot more adopted children looking for their parents than the other way around.  I know a couple of families that have been reunited.  In both cases the mothers who gave up their babies put themselves in a database to be found in case their child was looking for them.  But they didn't feel they had the right to interfere with the person's life by contacting them.  

I agree that the woman looking for her dad was probably expecting him to solve all of her emotional issues.  I hope they do have a good relationship.  I can't imagine what it must be like to suddenly find out that you are the parent of an adult.

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I actually liked that she admitted that she'd probably put him on too high a pedestal.   It will probably still cause problems/disappointments but at least she is aware that she's putting too much on this.  And I appreciate the self awareness as that's the first step.  


Much like I liked Robyn flat out telling Jack that she couldn't guarantee that she wanted him in her life.  I felt terrible for him but she didn't give him any false hope of what their relationship would be and I appreciate that.  I do hope, though, for her sake that she doesn't decide that she does want contact after it is too late.  

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22 hours ago, Jadzia said:

So tonight's episode... I thought the woman looking for her bio dad seemed to have way too many expectations that finding her dad was going to fix everything about her life and mend her unhappy childhood. It seemed like she still needed to work through the issues she had with her mom to heal that pain. But her dad seemed nice. I was pretty shocked that he had already changed his retirement plans before he even met her. Did he ever have other children? They did not say.

It's not shocking to me at all. He never knew he had a child, and finds out that he has a child and grandchildren and he wants to try to have a relationship with this person and her kids. He said the Philippine house was now his vacation home. So it's not like he completely changed his plans. He could stay there for 6 8 or 10 months out of the year if he wanted to.

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On 4/24/2018 at 10:34 AM, iMonrey said:

I'd also like to formally register my complaint against the pimping of Ancestry.com. I bought a DNA kit from those bastards and they have been charging my credit card $149 for membership ever since. You get a "free" trial membership of like 60-90 days with the kit but when it's over they just start charging you. I don't think I caught it the first time but by the second time I was on the phone with both them and my credit card company calling them all sons of bitches. It's still not resolved despite written confirmation that I cancelled my membership (which I never signed up for to begin with). 

Buyer beware. 

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$149 is the cost of the World Explorer 6-month subscription. I've never been aware of a 60-90 day trial being given out with the cost of a DNA kit, but there is a 2-week free trial. You provided them your credit card and it states that unless you cancel before the trial is up you will be charged every 6 months for a subscription. When you confirm the trial, you agree to a subscription if you don't cancel. It's not Ancestry's fault that you failed to cancel the trial in the first place. 

I took Ancestry's DNA test in 2014. It came with no trial of any amount of time. I did the 2 week trial on my own, canceled it before it was over and never got charged unauthorized. I have a subscription with them right now that ends in 10 days that I am aware I need to go into my account and cancel on the last day so that it does not recharge me for another 6-month subscription. All I need to do to cancel it is go into my account and click "cancel subscription" then on the next page confirm the cancellation and I'm done. 

This page confirms everything I said. https://support.ancestry.com/s/article/US-Ancestry-Free-Trial "Free trials on Ancestry automatically turn into paid subscriptions after two weeks. If a free trial is canceled during the trial period, the trial will end automatically, and you will not be charged."

And from a page about refunds, "You may cancel a free trial anytime during the free trial period and incur no charge. For all initial purchases of subscriptions longer than one month, you may cancel during the first 30 days (calculated from the date of purchase plus the free trial period, if applicable) and receive a full refund. If the cancellation occurs after the first 30 days, you won’t be eligible for a refund. If you cancel your subscription but are not eligible for a refund, you’ll retain access to the subscription until it expires. For renewals of subscriptions longer than one month, cancel within seven days of the renewal date to receive a full refund. No refund is available for monthly subscriptions. For gift subscriptions, the refund period begins on the date of purchase." https://support.ancestry.com/s/article/Refund-policy-for-subscriptions-1460088568849?ui-self-service-components-controller.ArticleTopicList.getTopics=1&r=52&ui-communities-components-aura-components-forceCommunity-breadcrumbs.Breadcrumbs.getAncestors=1&ui-comm-runtime-components-aura-components-siteforce-qb.Quarterback.validateRoute=1&other.AncestrySFSC_ContactUs.getContactUsConfs=1&ui-force-components-controllers-recordGlobalValueProvider.RecordGvp.getRecord=1&ui-self-service-components-controller.ArticleView.getArticleHeaderDetail=1
 

It's not buyer beware, it's buyer didn't read the fine print. 

ancestry-cancel.jpg

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I just finished Sunday's episode. 

Tina. My heart broke for her when she said that her mom basically chose her new husband over her. No wonder she doesn't want a relationship with her mom. She's a horrible person. Which also makes sense why she couldn't remember the dad's name. I had been thinking she was just making up names and throwing them out there randomly. I'm so glad she found her dad. And that she knows her expectations might be a lot and that it was ok if he didn't live up to all of them. Sometimes you can tell that someone has a ton of expectations and expects them all to be met. I think she'll be just fine if he doesn't meet them all. And it seems like it'll be good for him too to have people he can call family. It seemed like he didn't have anyone if he had originally planned to retire away to another country.

Katie. Peas in a pod, her and her bio-mom. They both had on pink and white with dark pants when they met. I don't know if the 2 of them ever realized it, but I noticed it before Katie even walked into the building where her mom was. 

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If you like this show I have good news/bad news for you.  I founds bunches of British and Australian episodes of the show on Youtube.  I watched a British one that was quite good, but the Australian episode I watched was too long and I gave up on it.  Anyway, if you have some free time on your hands....

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38 minutes ago, riverblue22 said:

If you like this show I have good news/bad news for you.  I founds bunches of British and Australian episodes of the show on Youtube.  I watched a British one that was quite good, but the Australian episode I watched was too long and I gave up on it.  Anyway, if you have some free time on your hands....

Oh..you are evil....because now I'm hooked!

   But there's no PTV forum for these episodes!

I watched the first episode linked below, and cannot understand why someone would separate sisters..much less twins. Sheesh

 

 

Edited by ChiCricket.
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11 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Oh..you are evil....because now I'm hooked!

   But there's no PTV forum for these episodes!

Anyone can start a new topic under an existing forum.  You could just click on "START NEW TOPIC" on the main page for LLF and name it something like "Long Lost Family in Other Countries."

 

Capture.JPG

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Shadow's story.  I wonder what happened to her mother and why no mention of her?

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I was just going to say the same thing stormy. This was a really weird half-story with a big chunk missing. What happened to Shadow's mother? Is she still alive? I'd also like to know what kind of life her father is leading now - I have a feeling his story was rather white-washed as well. 

Even in the case of Lisa and Monica - Lisa was searching for her birth mother, but no interest in her birth father? Is he still alive? He knows they exist, they stayed together (or hooked back up again) even after the eldest was given up for adoption. 

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It's not buyer beware, it's buyer didn't read the fine print. 

I received 2 e-mails from Ancestry confirming my account was cancelled and they still charged my card. They are sketchy as hell. Also, "read the fine print" is not an excuse for shady business practices. If they are hiding terms by burying them in fine print they know they are objectionable and aren't being upfront about it.

Edited by iMonrey.
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James, Shadow's father, said something about his kids and he was firm. Also family members that always wondered what had happened to her. That she had a big family and that they'd come to her graduation.

But I felt this was a story with a lot of gaps.

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There's short 8 minute extras on demand that are what happened next of last season, I think.

 

The Tiffany one was incredibly awkward.

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Oh, Riverblue22, you have altered my life! I'm going to have to give up something in order to fit in ALL those Long Lost Family shows from other countries. I watched the one that was linked here, and used up four Kleenex! Will all this weeping be a problem in my real life? I just love these shows, and the twin sisters reminded me so much of my grandmother, who came from England about 1880. (Yeah, I'm OLD!)

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I watched all of the UK ones that were available about three years ago. My problem now is trying to figure out which UK ones that I have not seen yet.

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23 hours ago, Court said:

There's short 8 minute extras on demand that are what happened next of last season, I think.

 

The Tiffany one was incredibly awkward.

I don't see them on my On Demand.  Are they separate shows or added to the ending of this seasons shows?  

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8 hours ago, Enigma X said:

I watched all of the UK ones that were available about three years ago. My problem now is trying to figure out which UK ones that I have not seen yet.

That's my problem, too.   And some of the what happens next episodes, too.  Although, I like in those that they don't always work out and people don't always stay in touch. I mean it sucks for the people involved but I think it is more interesting and real to see what really happens when the camera stops rolling.

 

Until DNA it wasn't all that common that finding a birthfather was very plausible without getting that information from your birthmother or one of her friends/family members.  You can request your non-identifying information and find out things about your birth mom but often a birth father wasn't even on the birth certificate and los of times the information about a birth father was sketchier or less apt to be true.   So until recently finding a birth father just wasn't something that seemed all that plausible until you'd found your birthmother and she could chose to tell or not tell.

 

Now you can take your DNA test and have a shot at finding a birth father and not your birth mother but that just wouldn't have been the case for the vast majority of the time the girls were growing up.  

If they were curious about their brith father I'm sure they will ask/have asked their birthmother and will go on to find out more about him.   

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On 5/7/2018 at 11:59 PM, Court said:

There's short 8 minute extras on demand that are what happened next of last season, I think.

 

The Tiffany one was incredibly awkward.

They are also on TLC's website: https://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/long-lost-family-what-happened-next/

Tiffany's was pretty awkward. I felt like (again) there were gaps in the story. I think Dee mentioned that one of her other daughters isn't receptive to meeting Tiffany. I'm sure that had something to do with it.

Edited by pawsodoom.
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f you like this show I have good news/bad news for you.  I founds bunches of British and Australian episodes of the show on Youtube.  I watched a British one that was quite good, but the Australian episode I watched was too long and I gave up on it.  Anyway, if you have some free time on your hands....

Oh damn . . . like I need another rabbit hole to go down!

I've watched the first three UK episodes and they are quite good. They are structured a bit differently than the US versions but I think I like the format better: they focus on one story at a time up until the meeting, instead of cutting back and forth between the two stories. They also don't have a redundant interview with the searcher right after they've already talked to the cameras about their story the way the US version does, so the hosts aren't as constant a presence as Chris and Lisa are. 

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I think it must help to have television involved.  I was recently contacted by a distant DNA cousin searching for his father.  Through DNA he discovered his father was not his father (he suspected that) and that the man he thought might be his father wasn't.  From the DNA it looks like a totally unknown third person was his father. When he contacted a first cousin he was told to stop researching her family!  He is quite elderly and ill and I don't know that meeting his family is in the cards with a first cousin like that.  But I've put him in contact with people who could help him fill in his tree. Unfortunately, the deceased father was only briefly married and didn't have any children, so he has no half-siblings out there.

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I am loving these stories, but I seem to be getting a little annoyed with the hosts (and I'm not a person who is easily annoyed). I don't want to keep hearing the woman host whisper We found her. Can't she ever speak in a normal voice? I don't want to see the host and the adoptee standing outside the door with the newfound relative waiting within. Show me more of the story, and less of the hosts, please!

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On 5/9/2018 at 7:33 AM, pawsodoom said:

Tiffany's was pretty awkward. I felt like (again) there were gaps in the story. I think Dee mentioned that one of her other daughters isn't receptive to meeting Tiffany. I'm sure that had something to do with it.

That was super awkward!

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On 5/7/2018 at 10:48 AM, stormy said:

Shadow's story.  I wonder what happened to her mother and why no mention of her?

If my mom left me alone all day and night that young, I probably wouldn't want to mention her either. Shadow probably either knows where she is or doesn't care to know considering the circumstances. 

On 5/7/2018 at 11:23 AM, iMonrey said:

I received 2 e-mails from Ancestry confirming my account was cancelled and they still charged my card. They are sketchy as hell. Also, "read the fine print" is not an excuse for shady business practices. If they are hiding terms by burying them in fine print they know they are objectionable and aren't being upfront about it.

 

I canceled my subscription the night of the 10th (my renewal date was the 11th). I went through all the steps to cancel, I received the cancellation notice, I no longer have a paid subscription and it didn't magically renew by the "evils" of Ancestry. I've had an account with them since 2012 and have had a paid subscription 3 times (3 separate 6-month subscriptions) in those 6 years plus 2 free 2 week free trials. Whenever I canceled, I've never been charged after the cancel was confirmed. My experience with them has been nothing but amazing, which is why I find it hard to believe they charged your card on purpose. Did you call your bank to stop the charges or tell them to always deny future charges from Ancestry? 

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On 5/9/2018 at 8:33 AM, pawsodoom said:

They are also on TLC's website: https://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/long-lost-family-what-happened-next/

Tiffany's was pretty awkward. I felt like (again) there were gaps in the story. I think Dee mentioned that one of her other daughters isn't receptive to meeting Tiffany. I'm sure that had something to do with it.

Thank you!

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On 5/9/2018 at 4:10 PM, Porkchop said:

I am loving these stories, but I seem to be getting a little annoyed with the hosts (and I'm not a person who is easily annoyed). I don't want to keep hearing the woman host whisper We found her. Can't she ever speak in a normal voice? I don't want to see the host and the adoptee standing outside the door with the newfound relative waiting within. Show me more of the story, and less of the hosts, please!

I am with you @Porkchop! This show follows such a strict and tedious formula that takes up the bulk of the air time.  Result: the viewers see VERY LITTLE of the compelling stories.

  • Lisa with the very sad face and whispering, "we found her" is guaranteed to make the searcher burst into tears - she was bracing for bad news
  • Call to Jenn Utley
  • Repetition and more repetition.  They tell the story.  Commercial. Come back and tell it all over again - same facts
  • Host looks away from the road, says "I am here in [x city] and launches into another long explanation while driving.  
  • Those letters - every one is the same.  So glad, make up for lost time, love you, blah blah blah.
  • Reunions - stand by the car, "the next person you see will be xyz", hugs, "Let's sit down", "I love you".  End.

I totally get why they show the Ancestry searches so much. Basically, this show is an infomercial for the company.  They're paying for us to see the stories if we watch how to use the website. Click. Got it.

But watching those same formulas constantly.  They have a treasure-trove of material!  They give us tiny crumbs of info and tears in a couple of minutes, with the rest of the hour on the formulaic framework of the show and repetition.

I now pretty much DVR it and scan through almost all of it.  Frustrating. I LOVE the stories.  They could make this show so much better.  Mix it up a little. Surprise the viewer.  Throw away the formula. 

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I actually liked how they mixed it up a little last night by showing the guy (who was always in genealogy) they had found this mom by presenting him with a family tree. That was pretty great.

I felt bad for him being worried about how to come out to his newly found birth mom, but I kind of wondered what was the expected reaction to him telling her he was gay. I was glad that she was able to tell him he has a gay uncle because I can't really think of a reaction that would sound accepting without sounding weirdly patronizing - Like "Oh you're gay! That's great!" When she was describing how she she knew her brother was gay, I think she stopped herself from saying something offensive.

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There needs to be a script rewrite. Does everyone looking for their birth parent have to say, you didn't (after being told we found your birth parent).

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1 hour ago, Jadzia said:

I actually liked how they mixed it up a little last night by showing the guy (who was always in genealogy) they had found this mom by presenting him with a family tree. That was pretty great.

I felt bad for him being worried about how to come out to his newly found birth mom, but I kind of wondered what was the expected reaction to him telling her he was gay. I was glad that she was able to tell him he has a gay uncle because I can't really think of a reaction that would sound accepting without sounding weirdly patronizing - Like "Oh you're gay! That's great!" When she was describing how she she knew her brother was gay, I think she stopped herself from saying something offensive.

I totally agree with you.  She was starting to describe why she thought he was gay but thought better of it and ended the thought abruptly.

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8 hours ago, Jadzia said:

When she was describing how she she knew her brother was gay, I think she stopped herself from saying something offensive.

 

6 hours ago, Koalagirl said:

I totally agree with you.  She was starting to describe why she thought he was gay but thought better of it and ended the thought abruptly.

It may not be offensive.  Could just be something personal that she would like to tell her son. but not the entire world. 

Edited by ElleMo.
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As for tonight's stories (Monday 14 May), that was an interesting mix.  It was a great resolution for the married couple to find their son, and he seemed a healthy and happy fellow who was just adding to his own family.  It's the scenario you hope will happen.  The deputy from Texas bumped into something much more complex -- his mother Tessa seemed quite 'damaged', and had spent 40-plus years dealing with her experience.  Also, the son now has to cope with the fact that his biological 'father' is a total unknown except for the sole fact that one afternoon he raped an innocent teen-ager.  That's something to wrap your head around.  

In the reunions I keep hoping to have them ask each other about some detail they mentioned in their opening statements -- 'Did you really sit in the rocking chair, on the porch of the Unwed Mother's Home, and hold me?".  We could do with a little less (as noted above) repeating the scenarios and "I'm driving toward .."  and more substantive chat after they meet.

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Repetition and more repetition.  They tell the story.  Commercial. Come back and tell it all over again - same facts

This is something that real sticks out after having watched the British version of this show. They don't have nearly the repetition this one does. I don't know why the searcher seems to have his or her story told twice: first directly to the cameras, and then again to the hosts immediately afterwards. They don't do that on the British version. They tell the story once and then they get on with the search.

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The deputy from Texas bumped into something much more complex -- his mother Tessa seemed quite 'damaged', and had spent 40-plus years dealing with her experience.  Also, the son now has to cope with the fact that his biological 'father' is a total unknown except for the sole fact that one afternoon he raped an innocent teen-ager.  That's something to wrap your head around. 

What's weird about that is that his mother's twin sister seemed way more excited to meet him than his mother was. 

I have to wonder how many potential candidates for this show are rejected or back out because they find out something awful about the circumstances surrounding their conception.  You know that has to happen sometimes.

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1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

This is something that real sticks out after having watched the British version of this show. They don't have nearly the repetition this one does. I don't know why the searcher seems to have his or her story told twice: first directly to the cameras, and then again to the hosts immediately afterwards. They don't do that on the British version. They tell the story once and then they get on with the search.

What's weird about that is that his mother's twin sister seemed way more excited to meet him than his mother was. 

I have to wonder how many potential candidates for this show are rejected or back out because they find out something awful about the circumstances surrounding their conception.  You know that has to happen sometimes.

My hubby stumbled into this story and thought the twin sister was the birth mom's daughter - that is how aged the birth mom was.  Rough life, indeed.  I think the twin and the birth mom want A LOT more than birth son can (or is willing) to give.   I liked the guy whose parents reunited after high school.  What a happy and adjusted fellow!  I hope this story ends well.

Edited by Mrs. Hanson.
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I think the repetition is a TLC feature.  Probably as a cost-cutter.  The Duggar circus programs are the same, and what few bits of any other TLC I've seen seems to do it too.

If it isn''t cost-cutting, then it is indicating a strong doubt in the minds of the TLC programmers that their viewer demographic can remember what's happening through An Entire Commercial Break.

Which now that I have considered it, may be a little on the nose.

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4 hours ago, iMonrey said:

I have to wonder how many potential candidates for this show are rejected or back out because they find out something awful about the circumstances surrounding their conception.  You know that has to happen sometimes.

I was actually thinking as I watched it that the law enforcement guy acted like he wanted to back out and not meet his mom after he learned about the true circumstances. I can only imagine the emotions he must have been going through but he did a complete 180 from how excited and determined he was to find his mom at the beginning to suddenly acting like he wished he had left it alone. I think he felt worried that it would bring his mom more pain rather than healing. I have to admit I was a little nervous when they said he looked like their dad, what if she noticed he looked like her rapist? 

Usually when they reunite they are all crying and saying I love you, so it was actually refreshing when the guy said it was kind of awkward since it is also meeting a stranger even though it is your mom. I wonder if he expected to have more of an emotional bond and maybe he didn't think he would feel awkward?

I noticed they kept saying how she had a rough life but never went into detail. I assumed drugs but I wonder if she had problems with the law too.

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14 hours ago, Chippings said:

The deputy from Texas bumped into something much more complex -- his mother Tessa seemed quite 'damaged', and had spent 40-plus years dealing with her experience.

Actually, it was only 32 years. She was one rough looking woman for 47 years old. But I digress. I guess the show could have handled the situation by searching for her, finding out the rape story, then deciding not to continue with filming and telling the guy they found her. That would have spared him the anguish of knowing his origins and knowing he was bringing this all back up for his birth mother, and spared Tessa having to confront the child of her rape. This is one situation where it really does not a happy ending for anyone. They may be able to have a bit of a connection and Tessa may be relieved her son grew up to be such a good guy, but I am betting that it ends quickly and they go their separate ways with even more emotional baggage than before.

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10 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

  I liked the guy whose parents reunited after high school.  What a happy and adjusted fellow!  I hope this story ends well.

The Mom in this story came to our church to talk about her experience (life and a little about the show) but she ended up finding out that for the last like 3 years they lived only 20 miles away from each other, grand-kids have even played football against each other without knowing.  Good news is they are all doing very well and have blended into a family rather smoothly.  The biological mother has even gotten to talk to the adoptive mother and thank her (and her husband although he had passed).  It really was great to hear the story!

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On the Texas cop from last night, when I first saw him, I thought he looked a heck of a lot like a young Larry Hagman (like Jeannie days, but fuller cheeks), so I was bummed he ended up not being the illegitimate son of a Dallas extra and being a real life Olivia Benson.

As regards tonight's (Tuesday's) episode, when Lisa met with the bio mom looking for her first born son, the mom said all she knew was that the baby ended up in foster care, not being adopted by a family, as the hospital/social worker had promised.  But then we next pick up the story with Lisa poring over the son's adoption paperwork, which included biographical information about the adoptive parents.  Where the hell did those documents come from?  It was such a leap that I rewound the recording to see if was distracted and missed a part of the show, but no dice.  In any event, the story was nice that everyone seemed to be in it with the appropriate level of expectations.

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I’m interpreting it that the first family fell through, he went into foster care for a short time,  and was subsequently adopted.

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Did they just show 3 back-to-back new episodes of this?  Because I only had time to watch the first one.  I knew that the gay man's mother would be OK with it because they wouldn't show an episode where the parent wasn't!  I thought she seemed like a pretty neat person.

Regarding the 14 year old mom, I thought she was beautiful, but I admit I'm a stickler for stuff like this - If you know you're going to be on national TV, at least touch up your roots, LOL.  I'm her age so I relate to constant root touch ups.  I couldn't imagine having a 46 year old daughter.  Yikes.   This had to have been a child rape situation anyway but the way the mother talked about it, it sounded like she was admitting she was "wild" and might have allowed it to happen.  Knowing what a bad childhood she had I have no judgment of her. 

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But then we next pick up the story with Lisa poring over the son's adoption paperwork, which included biographical information about the adoptive parents.  Where the hell did those documents come from?  It was such a leap that I rewound the recording to see if was distracted and missed a part of the show, but no dice.

I did the same thing! The editing on this show is crap, isn't it? They repeat everything three or four times and then leave out huge chunks like this. It wasn't until the very end that the son explained he was in foster care for the first year and a half of his life before he was adopted.

I'm a little skeptical of Judy Himel who gave up her daughter at eighteen months. Where did Sam's adopted mother get the idea that the reasons Judy gave up her daughter was because she was with a new man who didn't want her kid? When Chris finally found Judy, she said she actually met the couple that was going to adopt her daughter, through a mutual friend. It seems like there was some truth to that story and she didn't want to admit it. I noticed she still had the same last name so apparently she never married (or else she did and then reverted to her maiden name at some point.)

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1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

I'm a little skeptical of Judy Himel who gave up her daughter at eighteen months. Where did Sam's adopted mother get the idea that the reasons Judy gave up her daughter was because she was with a new man who didn't want her kid? When Chris finally found Judy, she said she actually met the couple that was going to adopt her daughter, through a mutual friend. It seems like there was some truth to that story and she didn't want to admit it. I noticed she still had the same last name so apparently she never married (or else she did and then reverted to her maiden name at some point.)

I thought that was odd too. I mean why would her adoptive mother make up such a hurtful thing if it wasn't true? It seemed like it would have been much easier to tell the daughter her birth mother was too poor to take care of her. I also wondered why Chris so quickly latched on to the birth mom's story as the absolute truth since he only heard one side of the story.

When the birth mom absolutely broke down during the letter reading, the suddenness of her emotion made me think she was perhaps overcome by guilt. So I think maybe she wasn't telling the entire truth.

They did not say, but was Joshua adopted by a white family or an African-American family? I assume given the era perhaps it was an AA family but I thought we have seen other stories where the mixed race adoptee was raised by a white family. I know they said she was with the dad off and on for 20 years, but was he still alive? They never said.

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13 minutes ago, Jadzia said:

I thought that was odd too. I mean why would her adoptive mother make up such a hurtful thing if it wasn't true? It seemed like it would have been much easier to tell the daughter her birth mother was too poor to take care of her. I also wondered why Chris so quickly latched on to the birth mom's story as the absolute truth since he only heard one side of the story.

When the birth mom absolutely broke down during the letter reading, the suddenness of her emotion made me think she was perhaps overcome by guilt. So I think maybe she wasn't telling the entire truth.

They did not say, but was Joshua adopted by a white family or an African-American family? I assume given the era perhaps it was an AA family but I thought we have seen other stories where the mixed race adoptee was raised by a white family. I know they said she was with the dad off and on for 20 years, but was he still alive? They never said.

The adoptive mother may have told her that story so she would have negative feelings toward her bio mom and not look for her.  When my cousin's daughter, whom she gave up for adoption, found us on Ancestry she told us that her adoptive mom wouldn't give her any info about her adoption until she was faced with a life-threatening illness and most likely out of guilt gave her the paperwork.  She also has an adopted sister and even though the adoptive mother told her she misplaced her papers she ended up finding them after a thorough search of the house while her mother was in the hospital.

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59 minutes ago, Jadzia said:

They did not say, but was Joshua adopted by a white family or an African-American family?

The paperwork said that Joseph's adoptive father was an african-american engineer, so I am assuming that both adoptive parents were AA. It also appeared that he was much older than his wife.

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