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S09.E09: What The Duck? 2016.09.08

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Ducklings appear in Jeff's backyard, bringing out his paternal (and neurotic) instincts. Meanwhile, Jeff and Gage continue to clash; drama surrounds a Hollywood flip and architect Jason; and Jenni continues her quest to have another baby.

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Yes! I need to know how the duck family is doing. I think it's adorable that Jeff spent the afternoon herding ducks and building ramps in and out of the pool for them. His paternal instincts are definitely ramping up. 

Also, I know ALL about the "carb parties". I have many of those myself. Alone. 

I feel bad for Jenni as well. Is she possibly pregnant in real time? Is her family super religious? Her mother definitely sounded disapproving of the whole IVF thing. 

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I wanted to know how the duck family was doing too! I thought there might have been something at the end of the episode, but there was not.

I also felt bad for Jenni. I just thought her mom did not understand the IVF process or the wanting of another kid to go through all the processes that Jenni has gone through. I did not think she was disapproving, but did not get it or maybe was just worried about her daughter.

Is the architect and the other guy that are taking their time with the plans and everything working on the home that Jeff and co. are currently in or is it another house?

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Why doesn't Jeff get an office space someplace other than his home? Wouldn't that solve 75% of his anxiety? It's rediculous for all of those people to be working out of his house.  Especially when the house is a crumbling down construction site.  Gage is right, there is never any getting away from it.  

I liked Gage and Jeff at the therapists office. Gage really gets Jeff. Jeff's a handful and frustrating as hell, and he doesn't handle pressure well but Gage knows Jeff has a heart of gold and gets hurt easily. It's hard loving somebody like that. It's a constant roller coaster.  I hope these two make it.

How old is Jenny? I thought early 40's?? And I wish somebody would state the obvious about Janet Jackson which is that she probably has a surrogate. Has anybody seen her baby bump yet? Getting pregnant at 50 is almost impossible, I don't care if you froze your eggs or not.  I feel like it's giving false hope to women her age that are desperate for a child. 

Edited by bichonblitz.
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15 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Why doesn't Jeff get an office space someplace other than his home? Wouldn't that solve 75% of his anxiety? It's rediculous for all of those people to be working out of his house.  Especially when the house is a crumbling down construction site

Oh, I totally agree with you. But I think Jeff is a tightwad, and that's probably why he still works outside of his home. 

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2 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

Oh, I totally agree with you. But I think Jeff is a tightwad, and that's probably why he still works outside of his home. 

Did you mean out of his home? 

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If Jeff is such a tightwad, why do they eat carryout for EVERY meal? Sheesh, that kills me when I see it. I betcha Zoila could throw down in the kitchen if she wanted to.... and most of them eat salad, tacos or sushi for lunch. All easy to make (okay, I've never made sushi, but I've made a ton of kimbap, a Korean sibling).

I think the ducks are living on a farm high on a hill, overlooking a pond, with trees and grass and flowers. They're happy there, and no dogs chase them, and no maniacs herd them with bedsheets.

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Why are people with abandonment issues, like Jeff, such pains in the ass? It seems like someone who is worried about being left would strive to treat the people in their life well, to avoid conflict, to try not to run them off. But I know several people IRL--most of them less charming and funny than Jeff, admittedly--who are simultaneously sensitive and easily get their feelings hurt but also can lash out at others in really ugly ways. Is it, "I expect that you'll leave me so I'm already a little bit mad at you for leaving me even though you haven't left yet?" 

I was surprised to hear Gage mention moving out. I didn't realize that they were in that bad of a spot. Jeff can rant and rave and scream but he's fundamentally happy (per what he said to Dr. Donna) and Gage stays quiet and doesn't yell but plots his escape! What would Jeff do, if Gage left? "Goodbye. Have fun selling your paint/finishing your houses/raising your kid. I'm going to find a job with normal hours and a partner who treats me with respect." I mean, could you blame him?

Edited by Princess Kelbop.
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43 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Why doesn't Jeff get an office space someplace other than his home? Wouldn't that solve 75% of his anxiety? It's rediculous for all of those people to be working out of his house.  Especially when the house is a crumbling down construction site.  Gage is right, there is never any getting away from it.  

I liked Gage and Jeff at the therapists office. Gage really gets Jeff. He's a handful and frustrating as hell, and he doesn't handle pressure well but he knows Jeff has a heart of gold and gets hurt easily. It's hard loving somebody like that. It's a constant roller coaster.  I hope these two make it.

How old is Jenny? I thought early 40's?? And I wish somebody would state the obvious about Janet Jackson which is that she probably has a surrogate. Has anybody seen her baby bump yet? Getting pregnant at 50 is almost impossible, I don't care if you froze your eggs or not.  I feel like it's giving false hope to women her age that are desperate for a child. 

Jenni is 43.

The funny thing is I always thought Jenni looked so much older than her first husband. I  thought she was in her early 40s then.  I recently watched  some of the early episodes and Jenni looks exactly the same. She looks great and hasn't aged a bit. 

I agree about Janet Jackson she probably has a surrogate.  It really gives false hope. 

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If I were Gage, I'd get a new job.   Or insist that the part of the business that he's in charge of, be run out of a separate location.  They never get a break from each other.  It's got to be incredibly frustrating.

The one thing that you need when dealing with Jeff Lewis is to set your boundaries, because otherwise he walks right over you.  I can't imagine what it's like to be in the middle of that 24/7.

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Does anyone else think that "Dr. Donna"s hairstyle is more Miss America than serious professional? Does she do that just for the show?

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I adored Jeff's concern for the ducks!!!

In 2003 a mating pair of ducks landed in my swimming pool, which caused an immediate and  permanent rift between me & my pool guy.  No more chemicals (or pool guy!), eventual draining down to a sizeable pond, and those sweet happy honeymooners came back every year for another 8 years.  Too smart to nest & raise babies amongst all the other backyard critters, but happy to spend endless days swimming, grazing, basking in the sun  & loving on each other.  I fed and loved those ducks more than Tony Soprano.

One of the saddest times in my life was the year only one duck showed up, constantly calling for his beloved ...  :-(

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The ramps in the pool reminded me of when I was in grad school, there was a small man-made pond outside the building I ate my lunch with, with my friends. A mother duck did the same thing: taking her babies into the water and the babies couldn't get out. We all (engineers of course) did the same thing-- constructing ramps for the babies to the "shore." Brought back some memories!

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26 minutes ago, dleighg said:

The ramps in the pool reminded me of when I was in grad school, there was a small man-made pond outside the building I ate my lunch with, with my friends. A mother duck did the same thing: taking her babies into the water and the babies couldn't get out. We all (engineers of course) did the same thing-- constructing ramps for the babies to the "shore." Brought back some memories!

I think I lurve you!   :-D

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12 hours ago, ghoulina said:

 

I feel bad for Jenni as well. Is she possibly pregnant in real time? Is her family super religious? Her mother definitely sounded disapproving of the whole IVF thing. 

Jenni gave an interview in July saying she recently had a miscarriage.

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That really stinks. A miscarriage is devastating no matter what, but I really hate to hear that a woman has lost her baby after going through all the trials of IUI/IVF. 

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I don't want to sound horrible, I really hope Jenni gets what she wants out of all of this, but I can never truly feel all that bad for someone who wants a biological child and not just a child (especially when they do have at least one already). There is nothing wrong with wanting a biological child of course but when I sit here and watch all that she is going through I can't help but think (hope) that if she is unsuccessful maybe she should think about adopting. Then her daughter could have a sibling and she and her husband could raise another child if those are the two things most important to her. Or at the very least she could get an egg donor (and maybe a surrogate as well if she can't carry to term) and use her husbands sperm and have a half biological sibling for her daughter. Of course those may not be things she (or her husband) wants and I wouldn't begrudge her not seeing them as options. Just something I think about that mutes my response.

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I feel bad for Jenni as well. Is she possibly pregnant in real time? Is her family super religious? Her mother definitely sounded disapproving of the whole IVF thing. 

Her mother didn't sound disapproving of the IVF but more scared of the procedure like someone else mentioned. Being put under anesthesia is not something anyone should do if it's not necessary, you never know what might happen. But regarding the religious question I believe she and her husband are Catholic but they seem normal :). 

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2 hours ago, jvr said:

I don't want to sound horrible, I really hope Jenni gets what she wants out of all of this, but I can never truly feel all that bad for someone who wants a biological child and not just a child (especially when they do have at least one already). There is nothing wrong with wanting a biological child of course but when I sit here and watch all that she is going through I can't help but think (hope) that if she is unsuccessful maybe she should think about adopting. Then her daughter could have a sibling and she and her husband could raise another child if those are the two things most important to her. Or at the very least she could get an egg donor (and maybe a surrogate as well if she can't carry to term) and use her husbands sperm and have a half biological sibling for her daughter. Of course those may not be things she (or her husband) wants and I wouldn't begrudge her not seeing them as options. Just something I think about that mutes my response.

Her mother didn't sound disapproving of the IVF but more scared of the procedure like someone else mentioned. Being put under anesthesia is not something anyone should do if it's not necessary, you never know what might happen. But regarding the religious question I believe she and her husband are Catholic but they seem normal :). 

Jenny and her husband are Greek Orthodox. 

I agree that it sounded more like her mom was freaked out about surgery/being put under. 

I agree about adoption, but sadly, adopting a child is not easy and can take a long time. Jeff and Gage have even mentioned on this show that they tried to adopt but it kept on falling through.

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Dang, now that you mention Greek Orthodox it sounds so right and obvious lol. I was trying to remember their wedding because I remember Jenni mentioning something about his faith (and maybe hers), probably when planning the traditional aspects of the ceremony and talking about their families. Thanks for the correction.

I assumed Jeff and Gage had problems with adopting because they are a gay couple but that may have been a wrong assumption on my part. Each state is so different when it comes to these things and I don't know if the process would be harder and therefore longer for them or if it's the same as for a straight couple. Also, I'm guessing the age of the child (and race) factors into the timeframe to get one, most people probably want tiny tiny (white) babies and the older (and less white) they are, the easier to get. But... I understand some people's need (want) to raise a child from infancy but I would think it's awesome to skip over those horrible sleepless nights. :)

Edited by jvr.
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I don't think it would be an issue in California. From what I've observed from people I know, it's not easy for straight people, either. 

I was raised Orthodox, and it's never on census forms and people generally aren't familiar with it, so it's not surprising to me that people would get mixed up, haha. The preschool that they showed her daughter going to is also Orthodox, I think. 

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On September 9, 2016 at 4:10 PM, walnutqueen said:

I fed and loved those ducks more than Tony Soprano.

One of the saddest times in my life was the year only one duck showed up, constantly calling for his beloved ...  :-(

I thought of Tony Soprano when I heard about the duck ramp.

Oh goodness that is the saddest thing.  

How kind of you to take care of the ducks.  One of the reasons I can never hate Jeff- he really is very kind to animals, both wild and housepets.  How people treat vulnerable animals says so much about a person.

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13 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

I thought of Tony Soprano when I heard about the duck ramp.

Oh goodness that is the saddest thing.  

How kind of you to take care of the ducks.  One of the reasons I can never hate Jeff- he really is very kind to animals, both wild and housepets.  How people treat vulnerable animals says so much about a person.

OK, I'm not much of a sharer, but I am and always have been kind to all creatures. To an obsessive fault, for that matter.  Which may explain my inexplicable lurve for Jeff, and my hermit-like existence!  :-)

{I wish I had a Gage}

Don't even get me started on the GENERATIONS of raccoons. possums & skunks who think they are my backyard cats ...

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On 9/9/2016 at 7:36 AM, bichonblitz said:

Why doesn't Jeff get an office space or someplace other than his home? Wouldn't that solve 75% of his anxiety? It's rediculous for all of those people to be working out of his house.  Especially when the house is a crumbling down construction site.

That would eliminate 95% of the storylines for this program.  When they were mapping out the season and plotting its stories, some producer (or Jeff or Bravo or both) probably figured that it would drive plenty of story to have them try to conduct business in a work zone and have Zoila based out of an improvised kitchen in the living room.  

To be fair, though, it sounded like they have made plans to have the "office" in a newly-constructed bungalow at the edge of the property.  At least that is what I thought I heard a couple episodes ago when they were removing trees and have the bulldozers level the space.

This property seems smaller than the previous homes.  Why would Zoila need to move out to make room for a baby nursery?  Is it only a 2-bedroom?  Surely it must have 4-5 bedrooms, although I realize that the construction is likely eating up space.  I'm not sure that we have seen the upstairs. Only two bedrooms?

Edited by SanDiegoInExile.
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6 hours ago, SanDiegoInExile said:

This property seems smaller than the previous homes.  Why would Zoila need to move out to make room for a baby nursery?  Is it only a 2-bedroom?  Surely it must have 4-5 bedrooms, although I realize that the construction is likely eating up space.  I'm not sure that we have seen the upstairs. Only two bedrooms?

They are also planning on hiring a nanny who I believe will be live-in? I could be wrong about that though. Jeff had said on Heather McDonald's podcast they will have a nanny who will do all the nighttime feeding and changing, etc. It sounded like a live-in position to me. 

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7 hours ago, SanDiegoInExile said:
On 9/9/2016 at 2:05 PM, dleighg said:

Does anyone else think that "Dr. Donna"s hairstyle is more Miss America than serious professional? Does she do that just for the show?

http://www.drdonnad.com/

Prime example of women over 50 who need to let go of the long, 1980's hair. Hair changes when you get older. It's hard to keep it long and healthy looking as you age. I'm fighting that battle now. Looking for a shorter cut that's stylish and not frumpy. It ain't easy!

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Did Jeff tell Dr. Donna that basically, all he needs from Gage is the physical relationship? Did I hear that wrong?

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I can't remember, but I think he was saying something about GAGE needing more physical affection and that that part of it, the physical side, isn't as important to him. And then he clarified by basically saying that SEX was important. So I think he was basically saying he doesn't need hugging and hand-holding, etc. but Gage finds that aspect of the relationship important. 

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With Jeff's attitude I am more than a little worried about him raising a child. You can't just cast them aside like he is willing to do with his friends and employees.

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I thought that Jeff was saying that he was actually quite happy with their relationship except for his worries that Gage was not happy and that maybe they could be having more sex.

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I was a mom of advanced maternal age and didn't have any problem getting pregnant and carrying a baby.  The stats are that it can take up to 18 mos to conceive.  My OB/GYN had a mother who's 54 and 8 mos. pregnant.  I told them "nope - not me!"  I had a friend that was frantic at 34 because it was taking longer than 3 mos to get pregnant.  She ultimately got pregnant at around 10 mos but she was already to go IVF.  My nephew's wife, I was told "had such a hard time conceiving" but got pregnant within 1 mos of marriage... but that was "having such a hard time conceiving.  I also have a friend who can get pregnant, but can't carry the baby and it's just so awful for her.  

My gay friends have adopted 4 children and had no problem at all with surrogates and stuff.  No waiting, etc, but they have the kind of funds (well and more) than Jeff does.

As for Jeff working out of his house, he's able to write of a good 30% of that house as home office, then I'm sure he gets to write more off due to the constructions, and definitely, the lunches, and the gas for his trips.

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I'm curious about Jeff's staff's employee status. Are they W-2s or 1099s (independent contractors)? If they are W-2s, are they fulltime so that their income includes benefits such as health insurance, paid time off, 401k, etc.? Do they really work a mandatory 48 hour week? I especially wonder if Zoila has been a W-2 all this time, with Jeff paying her Social Security and a retirement plan. In the fake therapy session (I think the therapy sessions are Jeff's attempt to craft a sympathetic persona and do damage control), he offered to pay her in retirement, as if this topic had never arisen before. And I hope Gage is being compensated adequately and properly, despite the domestic arrangement.

I've been self-employed for decades, working out of my home. The IRS rules are very specific about using a home office, and about clients not being able to dictate where and when I execute the work; same deal for the 1099 consultants I use. Regarding those daily lunches, the IRS says you can deduct 50% of the cost in some cases.

All of which to say I suspect that only Gage and Zoila are W-2s. I assume Jenny has her own contracts, and the other designers may be independent contractors or part-time W-2s.

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