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S01.E08: Breakthroughs 2016.07.18

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In the season finale, differences come to a head as Halie and George make a decision about moving back to Arizona; Brenda and Travis come to an agreement about moral values; and Emma and Joey determine if counseling is necessary.

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Joey is coming across as a total lazy, do-nothing, asshat!  Based on what has been shown, Emma needs to not just refrain from buying a house with him, but to refrain from continuing the marriage at all.

I am pro-choice which, for those who are rabidly on the other side, does NOT mean that I am pro-abortion. To NOT have an abortion is a CHOICE, and I would love to live in a world where no woman ever felt the need to even consider abortion - which means (Horrors!) men actually taking responsibility for ALL the consequences of their sexual activities. I have found it to be very effective to inform those who describe themselves as pro-life that as long as they refer to me as pro-abortion, I will refer to them as pro-rape (a woman's absence of choice). End of rant,...on to Brenda and Travis....what really disturbs me about Brenda is getting the feeling that she seems to think of abortion as simply another method of birth control. NO, NO, NO!!! To view an unexpected pregnancy as simply a minor inconvenience to be easily gotten rid of is, to me, a complete lack of understanding of and respect for the value of human life.  Shit happens, people get unexpectedly/inconveniently pregnant, sometimes even people who are in committed, loving relationships/marriages...it is a thing to be thoughtfully and deliberately considered, NOT just swept down the drain at the first glimmer of a problem...and whatever the decision, it is one that both partners must take responsibility for....Brenda seems to think that if she had been pregnant, the whole burden would have been on her and it would have been things as usual for Travis...this is where they really need to get their shit together....Travis needs to examine his dogmatic stance on abortion in the context of his marriage, his wife, and not just some  religious-political point of contention - i.e., it should NOT be only Brenda that would have to have a major alteration in her life expectations if (suddenly) baby was gonna make three....It is far too important an issue to be looked upon in such black/white, male chauvinistic, me tarzan you jane terms.

I really like Halie and George...which is exactly the opposite of how I thought I would feel about them...but I actually see a similarity between them and Christian/Maria of Season 1 Arranged (who, also for some unknown reason, but perhaps due to the rather affable Nina and Michael whom I really did like and would like to hear more about)...George and Halie also grew up in the same socio/religious environment, with the same core values, the same belief system, and whether it be religious or social it shows in their interactions....Whether or not I agree with the Mormon/Roma way (depending on which couple I'm seeing), they have a common core, a basis that seems to have mutual respect, a joint expectation of what marriage means for each of them, and a desire to grow in the relationship and in their regard for and dependence on each other and the family they create first...and I find I kinda like that...would it have worked for me....don't know...but that's not the point anyhow.

I find the finale rather lacking in wrapping the loose ends....hopefully this will also be a two part first season...except for joey...he can just go fade off into the sunset with his booze buddies...

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@becauseIsaidso

you captured precisely my feelings on abortion issues within the show and in real life. Thank you for such a well worded post. 

I enjoyed this show better than FYIs Arranged. I wonder if they will do a reunionesque show. 

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1 hour ago, PreviouslyTV said:

How successful has fyi's latest foray into unusual marriages been?

View the full article

Not as bad as Married at First Sight - that fucking venereal disease of a program - but still awful. How do they keep getting couples who are fundamentally horrible for each other? They have a 100% success rate on that, at least.

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I think the best way for Travis to understand the issue is to take his skateboard and spending money away and leave him in an apartment with a colicky infant and no air conditioning for a weekend.

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I just loved Travis' complaint at the one church Brenda dragged them to (the pro-choice one) it was basically like that Birds' Rights tweet: "i am uncomfortable when it not about me". Like of course this is a conversation where your opinions don't really hold water.

I was amazed at Jo's complete reluctance to go to counseling once his parents told him it had work involved. Emma should have divorced him there.

So I think we're pretty much in agreement that hailie's folks are moving out to Utah for her? Like no way was that a spur-of-the-moment move for her codependent mother.

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8 hours ago, ComeSitByMe said:

I think the best way for Travis to understand the issue is to take his skateboard and spending money away and leave him in an apartment with a colicky infant and no air conditioning for a weekend.

They would have to disinfect the entire city of Irvine after that.

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I wish that when the pastor met with Travis and Brenda, she had asked Travis what he thinks should happen if God forbid Brenda was raped and became pregnant (while they are married).  Would he want her to have the baby? Would he take the role of father to this child and raise it as his own? Based on what he has said so far, it seems that he would. I know that is a horrible thing to even consider, but I think forcing him to consider such a thing on a personal level would have a much bigger impact than just talking about rape in the abstract.  What is that saying.. "the personal is political" - this is a good example of that.

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Everything wrapped up in a bow with a perfect ending for all. Just like real life...

Dirty Travis and Brenda's game of one upmanship over the abortion issue was sickening to me. He was clearly trying to "win" and it was all about how "he" feels about everything. Gag.

George and Halie: I thought it was the best thing that they moved away and that eventually Halie would get used to it. She is too attached to her family. To quote Stewie Griffin: "It's like she's fucking five." If the fam moves up there, George will have other problems like having his wife spending the bulk of her time with her family and not him. Maybe they're all about living next door to their parents forever but if that was the case, Halie should have said "I want to get married and live here."

Emma and Joey: I love how these shows portray some of the people in ways that are unflattering and once you develop disdain for them, they throw out the "He had to be the man of house" as if that is some type of pass. Same with that stupid Arranged show and Taylor. He's an ambitionless slug of a guy, which I think is just fine, just incompatible with Emma. Why on earth should someone barely 20 have to "work at a marriage" and enlist the assistance of a counselor to do so? They're so young. For goodness sakes, they should be having fun being young. Look at the faces of misery on their faces at 20ish! Oy!

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Halie's parents are moving to Utah?! Are you freaking kidding me? Jesus, Halie must be the glue that holds that family together. How on earth could they continue to live BARELY one state away from their precious snowflake? For some reason this totally pissed me off.

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And this ladies and gents is what happens when you make a child(ren) the centre of your universe. Halie's parents act like they don't have any children left at home or lives. What are they going to do with an empty nest? Why uproot their other children to move where one daughter is? The sister has a child, but they didn't move then. What a weird codependent relationship.

Brenda and Travis..just ugh. He was determined to "win" this fundamental argument. 

Joey and Emma look miserable. At 20, you shouldn't be looking like that. And why do you already need counselling? I'd bet money that there were issues before they got married that they just swept under the rug and ignored. I can't seem going the long haul.

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On 7/19/2016 at 7:10 PM, becauseIsaidso said:

I am pro-choice which, for those who are rabidly on the other side, does NOT mean that I am pro-abortion. To NOT have an abortion is a CHOICE, and I would love to live in a world where no woman ever felt the need to even consider abortion - which means (Horrors!) men actually taking responsibility for ALL the consequences of their sexual activities. I have found it to be very effective to inform those who describe themselves as pro-life that as long as they refer to me as pro-abortion, I will refer to them as pro-rape (a woman's absence of choice). End of rant,...on to Brenda and Travis....what really disturbs me about Brenda is getting the feeling that she seems to think of abortion as simply another method of birth control. NO, NO, NO!!! To view an unexpected pregnancy as simply a minor inconvenience to be easily gotten rid of is, to me, a complete lack of understanding of and respect for the value of human life.  Shit happens, people get unexpectedly/inconveniently pregnant, sometimes even people who are in committed, loving relationships/marriages...it is a thing to be thoughtfully and deliberately considered, NOT just swept down the drain at the first glimmer of a problem...and whatever the decision, it is one that both partners must take responsibility for....Brenda seems to think that if she had been pregnant, the whole burden would have been on her and it would have been things as usual for Travis...this is where they really need to get their shit together....Travis needs to examine his dogmatic stance on abortion in the context of his marriage, his wife, and not just some  religious-political point of contention - i.e., it should NOT be only Brenda that would have to have a major alteration in her life expectations if (suddenly) baby was gonna make three....It is far too important an issue to be looked upon in such black/white, male chauvinistic, me tarzan you jane terms.

I also kept waiting to hear or see any type of concern from Brenda regarding a possible abortion. She never acknowledged the tragedy of it. This is not a rape or a one night stand "accident". It would have been her husband and hers child. It was taken as lightly as taking a pill and be done with the fact and he had no say in it.

I agree with you a great deal and I'm pro life! I'm also completly against the viciousness of shaming and condemning women who for one reason or another go through this terrible situation. I believe in compassion and helping to heal. "Who am I to judge".

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23 hours ago, ExplainItAgain said:

Halie's parents are moving to Utah?! Are you freaking kidding me? Jesus, Halie must be the glue that holds that family together. How on earth could they continue to live BARELY one state away from their precious snowflake? For some reason this totally pissed me off.

What about the rest of their kids? Didn't the one sister have a baby and another on the way?

 

My parents live 5 minutes away and are very involved. However, we have and did set boundaries early on. Sometimes they need a reminder and there have been a few fights. But my step dad has always backed us up so that helped.

Halie's parents moving does not solve the problem. It will worsen it. She won't set boundaries and will never form her own family unit. It will get worse when they have kids. 

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I have a question for the ladies. While watching this episode, the scene when Brenda and Travis were in the counseling session...I noticed the therapist was checking out Travis and Brenda was keeping tabs on her how she was checking out her husband.. Would you say that's an accurate description what was going on? I'm a guy by the way..just something I noticed. 

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I want more of this. It's a guilty pleasure that is a whole lot of fun to watch when I feel horrible on Friday nights.

 

fyi going to have any more shows in the vein of Arranged or Teenage Newlyweds that isn't Married at First Sight start soon?

 

Also, Hailie's parents moving to Utah was a bit creepy, but I chalked it up to "Well, they're Mormon."

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I don't suppose I have anything to add that's not been said already, but my thoughts are:

Brenda is going to go far in life.  She's more mature and intelligent than Travis, and, I imagine, will always be so.  She'll quickly outgrow him.  She thinks he's cute now because he's some engineering skateboarding "sensitive" guy, but his controlling selfishness will grow old fast.  Maybe he can put her through grad school first with his hopefully great-paying engineering job.  She should get some kind of better birth control immediately.  She should also get custody of the cat.  I hope Travis allowed her to have her spayed so she's not forced to pop out some litters.

Hailie and George will be another population-busting, bland Mormon couple who will eventually have their own planet together in the afterlife.  They will be fine.  Neither has any discernible personality, so they really have nothing to fight about.

Emma and Joey are a mess.  They wrapped it up so that it looked like they've worked through some problems, but she'll get bored by his stunted emotional and intellectual capacity. They should avoid buying a house together at all costs.  Also, the fact that he said his father has "always" been an alcoholic and then he himself drinks beer in the morning is a concern.

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I won't lie...I've had a cider or beer in the morning (not on a work day) because it was the only cold thing and I was too lazy to deal with ice and a glass or making iced tea.  I could see that fitting in with Joey's general laziness.

So I don't think the Brenda/Travis exercise was really complete.  He at least went to the church, Brenda didn't even get out of the car to talk to anyone...not that I would sign up for any of that foolishness in the first place.  I don't know that I could be with someone who wasn't pro-choice, but as said eloquently above, I'm pro education first.  People should be educated on their bodies and the financial, mental, emotional costs of having a child to avoid unplanned pregnancies--all bets are off to me for rape, incest, health of the mother.  That said, I just believe people should have a choice whether or not to proceed regardless of the circumstances there should still be a fail-safe.

Hailie will never grow up.

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