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Again With This: Winners and Losers Tally

I made a whole Spreadsheet in Google Docs y'all can view it here

 

Season One by the numbers:

Sarah picked Anna as winner of the season despite not voting for her once, leaving Popcorn and Ice Cream crying in the corner, however her actual vote count has Sarah shocking us all with Steve winning by earning 4 surprising episode wins. Tara chose Kelly as the winner but she only gave her one episode win, Tara's actual vote count has Dylan winning the season with 6 episode wins. 

 

Losers of season one were less shocking. Sarah picked Brandon and the votes supported this with Brandon losing a total of 5 episodes. Sarah also has Brenda losing 2 episodes (though Lavoine lost one bringing Brenda's true total to 3). The Walsh Parents also lost 2 episodes according to Sarah. Tara also picked Brandon as the loser of the season however her votes show her true loser of Season 1 is actually a tie between father and son, Jim and Brandon, with a total of 5 episodes each, however since Jim's Keyboard also lost an episode one could argue that this edges Jim out to be the true loser of the season by Tara's votes. Rounding out Tara's losers are Brenda/Lavoine (2 votes total) the Walsh Parents collectively, Ian Ziering's acting coach, and Wardrobe for Steve's cut off belly shirts. 

 

Season Two by the numbers:

Sarah picked Kelly as winner, but with only 2 true episode wins Sara's winner by vote is actually a shocking tie between Brenda (3) and David (3) though it should be noted that some of those David votes were for BAG's acting ability in the face of terrible scripts and one of those wins was for his "derp face" which probably means Brenda is the true winner. Tara's winner pick was also Kelly, and her votes show that to be true with a total episode win of 4 for Ms. Taylor, coming in close behind is Dylan with 3 episode wins and Henry rounds out the season with 2 episode wins under his belt. 

 

Season two losers were again, less shocking. Sarah and Tara of course both chose Brandon as the loser of season two, and votes showed that he truly was. Brandon lost 11 episodes by both Sarah and Tara's votes, though not always for the same episodes. Second loser would be all the parents on this show, with all of them earning at least one episode loss, save for Kelly/David's parent couple of Mel and Jackie who didn't lose a single episode, however Mel's jeweler who sold him that "piece of garbage ring" did end up with an episode loss.  

 

I'll try to keep this up during Season 3 if anyone is interested! 

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a) This is fantastic. True dedication.

 

b) I kinda love that Steve actually got the most votes along the way in season one. I feel like he's the character that changed the least over the series, but somehow became the most likeable by the end, when I actually couldn't stand him in the early days. 

 

c) Apparently the season one loser is actually the entire Walsh family - which makes the season one winner Minnesota, for getting rid of them. (And, especially, for escaping their threatened return at the end of Season one. Phew!)

Edited by kite-wombat.
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This really is brilliant. Thank you so much for tracking these! WE are interested, obvs, but if it's a pain, don't feel obligated to keep up with it.

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Aww. Thank you!! It's not a pain! (Well, especially not now that I have the sheet set up!) As long as people are interested I think what I'll do is update the sheet when the podcast drops but then do the whole tally at the end of the season here. 

 

ETA I just updated the sheet for yesterday's winners and losers and was pre-numbering it for S3 and OH MY GOD 30 episodes??? I think this may drive our esteemed recappers insane. 

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ETA I just updated the sheet for yesterday's winners and losers and was pre-numbering it for S3 and OH MY GOD 30 episodes??? I think this may drive our esteemed recappers insane. 

 

I don't think it will take 30 episodes... I'm guessing that the appearance of Brenda's fake French accent will do the trick. And David's music "career". And Brandon Bran-splaining racism to racist Brooke. Without even going into the destruction of Kelly and Dylan. So... the summer episodes should do the trick.

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This may have been answered somewhere so I apologize if I missed it, but has it been said how long these podcasts will continue? Is the plan to cover the entire run, or just the Brenda years, or until the podcasters just can't take anymore?

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I sincerely hope they're planning to do seasons 5 and 6. There are some pretty great storylines (like Single White Tara and Dylan's disappearing money) that I'd love to hear Tara and Sarah comment on.

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The current plan, I believe, is to continue at the current rate/with the current set-up until Brenda gets the boot, at which time we may re-assess...but I for one am still in on Kelly's downward coke spiral, Terruh Streetchild, and poor defamed Jamie Walters shoving Donna down the stairs. (...Spoiler?)

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The current plan, I believe, is to continue at the current rate/with the current set-up until Brenda gets the boot, at which time we may re-assess...but I for one am still in on Kelly's downward coke spiral, Terruh Streetchild, and poor defamed Jamie Walters shoving Donna down the stairs. (...Spoiler?)

Yay!!! Kelly and the cult, and Valerie and, well, every male...gold. And omg Dylan and Toni? Gold, I tell you.

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The current plan, I believe, is to continue at the current rate/with the current set-up until Brenda gets the boot, at which time we may re-assess...but I for one am still in on Kelly's downward coke spiral, Terruh Streetchild, and poor defamed Jamie Walters shoving Donna down the stairs. (...Spoiler?)

 

While I know Tara doesn't love the post Brenda stuff because, well Brenda's the best, I have to say that the show got so much more batshit insane after her booting that it almost became more fun. And this comes from a huge Brenda fan. Just. The insanity of plotlines once they're in college becomes greater with each season. 

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While I know Tara doesn't love the post Brenda stuff because, well Brenda's the best, I have to say that the show got so much more batshit insane after her booting that it almost became more fun. And this comes from a huge Brenda fan. Just. The insanity of plotlines once they're in college becomes greater with each season. 

 

Cocaine Kelly, Dylan's soul mate dreams, Valerie being Valerie, David & Valerie, The return of Emily, Peach Pit After Dark, Single White Tara, Crazy David Silver in Vegas, Drunk Brandon/I choose Me, The Fire, "He be gone", Pumpkin Pruit, Joe the Smallest Division I quarterback in history, Texas Dip Donna, FINLEY!!!!, 

 

The list goes on and on. 

 

Man they really destroyed any reality they had left in those seasons

Edited by SoupThrower.
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I forced (FORCED) everyone I knew back then to watch the whole "Coke Fiend Kelly" (as I called it) arc. No one else I knew was a fan but for that season they were... or at least they were sitting there with me watching the insanity. Y'all, when she rolled up daddy's trying to buy her love check and snorted that first line it gave me life. 90210 is where I learned that you can love a show and hate it at the same time. And what snark watching was even if that wasn't really a thing back then. 

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I'm watching season five for the first time right now (I'm only about seven months older than the show itself; yes, you ARE old, but probably not as old as Joe E. Tata, who somehow turns 80 this year), and I'd love to hear Sarah and Tara try to make Andrea's husband entertaining. Because... oy vey. I find myself zoning out every time he's on screen, and I totally get why she would cheat on him with Hot 90s Doctor.

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The current plan, I believe, is to continue at the current rate/with the current set-up until Brenda gets the boot, at which time we may re-assess...but I for one am still in on Kelly's downward coke spiral, Terruh Streetchild, and poor defamed Jamie Walters shoving Donna down the stairs. (...Spoiler?)

Let's not forget Jamie Walters overturning Val's hotel food cart with a "Breakfast is served."

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Lisin, now you have made me want to gather the data for the all ways Dylan is mad, bad and dangerous to know and all the ways Brandon could have died.  Then maybe, do some kind of charts...or something.  hee.  Anyways, thanks and great work!

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Lisin, now you have made me want to gather the data for the all ways Dylan is mad, bad and dangerous to know and all the ways Brandon could have died.  Then maybe, do some kind of charts...or something.  hee.  Anyways, thanks and great work!

 

Don't think that didn't occur to me! I mean I feel like at some point we will need charts! 

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Mod charts!  Mod charts!  

 

The spreadsheet possibilities are endless!

  • Steve pepperoni nip sightings 
  • Boom mic sightings
  • Instances of Tori trying to do "stuff"
  • Number times Brendan claims he "never says anything" or "doesn't like to get involved"
  • Baja hoodie sightings
  • Times Jim needs a kick in the nards for sexist treatment of his children. 
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  • David Silver dances or "sings".

Kelly looks like she smells urine and is wondering who pissed themselves this time.

Brandon's "crying eyes".

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  • Number times Brendan claims he "never says anything" or "doesn't like to get involved" but does anyway

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Quick recap this time because I'm sick but the tally has Tara's winner as Andrea (she picked Jackie and I stand by that!) and Sarah's winner was shockingly Donna (she picked Jordan Bonner and again I agree!) though the winners weren't as obvious this time. Andrea only won 4 episodes from Tara but that was still two more than anyone else and Donna also only won 4 episodes from Sarah, but again, it was enough. As for losers, it should shock no one that Dylan lost the season by the tally votes overwhelmingly (9-10 episodes for Tara/Sarah). Brandon was the second loser with 5 votes each. 

 

Blargh. Sorry if that didn't make a ton of sense. I'm on lots of cough medicine. 

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I just found these podcasts and I am gleefully in heaven.  Heaven, I tell you. 

I love 90210 in a way that should have me in a therapist's office.  So much gold from 1990 until that sad day in May of 2000.   And we won't even discuss that shitbag of a remake.

Back to podcast listening . . . thanks, Lisin, Tara and Sarah.  You guys are the best.

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On 7/8/2016 at 7:02 PM, Lisin said:

@psychoticstate I'm glad you love the podcast as much as I do but I can't take any credit for anything other than being a crazy spreadsheet making person. @Sarah D. Bunting And @Tara Ariano are the real heroes here! 

Excel tends to boggle my mind so major kudos to you, @Lisin, for your spreadsheet making awesomeness.  And for being a 90210 fan! 

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I too have only recently discovered this podcast, and cannot express my glee of having found my people. Heaven indeed. I got one if those speaker things to hear it better, and I put it on while I'm cleaning and end up just tweaking out on my kitchen because I want to listen to one after the other. The Brandon Bray, the sound effect for least valuable player, so much good things. 

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You guys? I just was setting up the spreadsheet for S5 and I CANNOT WAIT for the podcast to get to the middle-later part of that season! It just gets so trashy and soapy so fast! 

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OK gang! It's that time again! Season 4's official rankings below! 

@Tara Ariano's pick for winner - Brenda

Tara's votes for winner - Donna 5, Eddie 3, Cindy 2, D'Shawn 2, Rosie 2, Randoms/one offs 17, Brenda 0! 

@Sarah D. Bunting's pick for winner - Kelly

Sarah's votes for winner - Jim 3, D'Shawn 3, Steve 2, John Sears 2, Laura 2, Donna 2, Cindy/Carol Potter 2, Randoms/one offs 14, Kelly 1!

Tara's pick for loser - Jesse

Tara's votes for loser - Brandon 7, Dylan 4, David 4, Kelly 2, Steve 2, Randoms/one offs 12, Jesse 0!

Sarah's pick for loser - Brandon

Sarah's votes for loser - Dylan 8, David 2, Ahndrea 2, Randoms/one offs 9, Brandon 10!

Adam's winners were Rachmaninov and cats and his losers were Donna and Poundcake's owner for naming a dog Poundcake.

And @David T. Cole's Winner was the lasagna and his loser was Will (60s Brandon)'s NASA fashion sense! 

Which, in this statistician's estimation makes Brandon the One True Loser for Season 4! 

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On 1/31/2017 at 10:18 AM, kermitmissesjim said:

They just finished season 5; what's the tally?

I was just coming here to post!

@Tara Ariano's pick for Season Winner - Val

Tara's in episode votes for winner -  Val 10, Clare 5, Cindy 4, Eduardo (the cook from the fire eps) 2, the rest were one off winners, D'shawn, Josh's Sweater, Kaye, Alex Diaz, the Sheriff, Jonesey, Homeless Eyebrows, Tuck, Juwan and Kate. 

@Sarah D. Bunting's pick for Season Winner - Val

Sarah's in episode votes for winner - Val 7, Steve 3, D'shawn 2, Clare 2, , Felice 2, Alex Diaz 2, Hannah 2, and one offs Iris, Jim, The Bear, Nat, Munz, Rush, Ray, Chancellor Arnold, the Sheriff, Juwan, Donna and Kate.

Tara's pick for Season Loser - Dylan

Tara's in episode votes for loser -  Brandon 7, Dylan 4, Ray 4, Kelly 3, Steve 3, Griffin 2, and one offs David, Felice, Garrett, Interventionist, Jesse, Luann, Mason, Molly and the rapist.

Sarah's pick for Season Loser - Kelly

Sarah's in episode votes for loser - Kelly 10, Brandon 7, Dylan 2, Jesse 2, and one offs David, Emily's Hairdresser, Erica, Felice, Lead singer of Bloody Roo, Lenny, Lisa, Molly, Nat, Ray and the writers who sold out Val.

Honerable Mentions from @David T. Cole go to Wind Chimes (episode 5:24) Sarah's Boiler Guy (episode 5:26) and a twofer for Dylan's Biotech Company and Quiznos (episode 5:03)

That's it on stats for this season!

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I have to admit, while I'm not surprised at the winners and losers, I am glad to see that Clare did relatively well on both lists.

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1 hour ago, Earmuffs Mom said:

I love that you keep a spreadsheet to track this.  

Heee. Thanks. I actually keep it in a note on my phone and update the sheet later because I'm usually listening in the car. I enjoy having a detailed process for something this silly! 

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It WAS Boiler! Since I use my phone's notepad often while driving using voice memo I get typos, and I honestly had no recollection of what the hell it was so I just went with what I had, but yes. Now, hearing the most recent episode it was definitely Sarah's boiler guy. I've made the correction. Hee! 

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Brandon has a head start, but her S6 run of LVP's has me thinking Kelly's going to end up the LVP of the series.  I think it particularly hurts that she went from winning seasons to losing them just in the course of these six seasons, and she only gets worse from here. 

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So, first SO SORRY for being so late on this one!! I'm busy building polls for the PTV Awards (go vote on Monday!) So this is the quick and dirty version for Season 6:

@Tara Ariano's Winners: Claire 4, Val 3, Bail Bondsman 2, Bruno 2, Susan(Nancy) 2, Cindy 1, CU Football Coach 1, Dock Guy who has no time for Colin's bullshit 1, Dr. Martin 1, Felice 1, Ginger 1, Greg 1, Hamlet 1, Heidi 1, Huge Sandwich 1, Isaiah 1, Jackie 1, Jonsey 1, Lisa 1, Sheila 1, Sister Agnes 1, Stephen Culp 1, The Judge 1

Tara's Pick for winner: Claire

@Sarah D. Bunting's Winners: Val/Val’s boobs 3, Claire 3, Joe/Joe’s pants 2, Steve 2, David 2, Bill 1, Bruno 1, Claudia Van Ech and Sterling Penn 1, Felice 1, Ginger 1, God 1, Isaiah's mom 1, Jonathan 1, Luann 1, Mel 1, Mrs. Keats 1, Ponytail Sanders 1, Ray 1, Sandwich 1, Shiela 1, Susan 1, The Bird 1, The Judge 1, The Nurse 1

Sara's Pick for winner: Rehab Redhead

Tara's Losers: Brandon 8, Kelly 5, Colin 4, Dylan 3, Hobo Clown/Ray (ray’s halloween costume) 2, Donna 1, Felice 1, Greg 1, Henchmen 1, Joe 1, Lee Steinberg 1, Tara 1, Tony Sr. 1, Washer/Dryer 1

Tara's Pick for loser: Brandon

Sarah's Losers: Brandon 9, Kelly 6, Colin 3, Joe/Square Back Penis 2, Connie Shays (no clue - relisten) 1, Danny 5 1, Dave’s  Computer Voice 1, Donna 1, Dylan 1, Ray/Hobo Clown 1, Chief hench dude 1, Susan 1, Tara’s Parents 1, The "Canadian who can't pronounce Ontario 1, The AP 1

Sarah's Pick for loser: Brandon

@David T. Cole's Winners: his Ethel Merman impression, Pinball and Cucumbers

Dave's Losers: Boston and The immigration dude who didn't change Fiveinsky to Five

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I just now remembered who Bruno was, and I first read this post 2 hours ago. These seasons are waaaaaaayyyy too long.

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6 hours ago, Sarah D. Bunting said:

omg, Luann was still this season?! This is what happens when you have 1654 episodes a year.

Yeah, there was a point where I was convinced I was using the wrong list because I could not believe that Hobo Clown Ray was also this season. 

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I posted this a while ago in the S06.E10 episode thread, but in case you missed it and because this is probably a better thread for it to be in, here it is again. Props to @Tara Ariano and @Sarah D. Bunting.

Quote

I am WAY late with this as I am very behind with the podcast, but I need to post it in the thread that goes with Dylan's last (for now) episode. @Tara Ariano and @Sarah D. Bunting's snarky, creative names for Dylan regularly made me laugh so hard that I started noting them down sometime during the Season 3 episode podcasts. As a list, they are even more hilarious. Farewell, Dylan, and thanks for inspiring this brilliance.

Wyatt Twerp
Scrawneriffic
Tiny wasted man
Pretentious chucklefuck
A sack of wrinkles
A complete dildo
Fucking moron
Dum-dum
Shithead
Fucking hypocrite
Shitbrick
Fucken baby
California's most pretentious stick insect
Praying little boy-tis
Praying mantis
Dillhole
A relentless cock
Dickhead
A fucken rag
Dickwad
Scrawn
This fucker
Old Man McKay

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And here we go again!

@Tara Ariano's pick for Winner: Mark

Tara's Winner Tally: Donna 3, Steve  2, Tom 2, Cliff 2, and the one offs: Beth, Casting, Chancellor Arnold, Claire and Steve's colons because of all the root vegitables, Dean Shaw, Dick, Dr. Martin, Frankie, Grampa Silver, Hal, Jackie, Joy, Kelly, The LAPD (for once), Mark, Mariah Parker Lewis, Prof. Langley ley eley, Rob Samantha Sanders, Val, Valet Guy.

Tara's pick for Loser: Kelly

Tara's Loser Tally: Brandon 6, David 6, Kelly 5, Tracy 3, and one offs: David and Claire (together), Donna, Donna's nipples, Jason Priestly, Kelly's Gyno, Kerry Strug, Phil Harris, Sara (the grandmother's helper, not Sarah D. Bunting... though that's debatable since she's having to watch this...), Shiela, Val, the Writers.

@Sarah D. Bunting's pick for Winner: Nat                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Sarah's Winner Tally: Dick 2, Sean Donnelly 2, Tom 2, and the one offs: Baby Deer, Beth, Bill Taylor, Carole Potter, Daniel's friend, Dean Shaw, Dick's dealer, Donna, Dr. Candyman, Felice, Fired Car Museum Guy, Frankie, Hal, Luther Vandross's Manager, Mark, the Nat/Prof. Langley/ely/eley tag team, North African Couscous, Ron Duguay, Rusty, Steve, Robber girls, Tony, Val, Wardrobe.        

Sarah's pick for Loser: Brandon 

Sarah's Loser Tally: Brandon 7, Kelly 7, Tracy 2, Donna 2, and the one offs: B-Sure Condom Corporation, Bouvier Brows, Camera 2, David, Dick, Dr. Martin, Mariah's Guardian Angel, Mark, Sarah (again, the helper not SDB), Steve, SWAT guys, Val's dad, the Writers for egregious retcon, and the one honorable mention loser of the season: Israeli Large Pearl Couscous 

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Wow, so first off my apologies for taking so long to tally up the Season 8 Winners and Losers (I'm 8 episodes behind! GAH!) and I'd like to note that because the show went on too long, and everyone is awful, most of the Winners are one-offs.

And now without further delay:

@Tara Ariano's pick for Winner: David's Landlord

Tara's Winner Tally: Steve 2, Pam the Social Worker 2,  and the one-offs: The shooter (Guys Kelly got shot THIS SEASON), Ms. Schulzi, Dr. Daniel Day Kim, Jackie, Nut Guy, Donna, Tiny, Jill Abernathy (is this the landlord's name?), Melissa, Terry, Nat, Duke, Emma, Carly, Harry, Grandma, Mrs. Hazelton, David, Val's Lawyer, Timmy, Chris's Mom, Andrea, Janet, Val, Alex and Jackie. 

Tara's pick for Loser: Brandon 

Tara's Loser Tally: Brandon 11 (note, his first loss he's listed as "Brandon who does not respect sleep" which I believe Tara would agree is an important distinction) (Honorable Mention 1), Kelly 4 (Honorable Mention 1), David 4, Josh 2, and the one-offs: Vanessa, Detective Line Up Screwer Upper, Woman who accepted the job at the beat, Racist Band, Emma, Dr. Monihan, the Hunter Family, Bill Taylor, and Ross the Rapist.

@Sarah D. Bunting's pick for Winner: David's Landlord

Sarah's Winner Tally: Janet 3, Val 2, and then the one-offs: Shooter, Daniel Day Kim, Noah, Zach, Recording Studio Manager, Nut Guy, Loan Officer, Zach, Tiny, Space Heater, Melissa, Richard Belzer, Duke, Jamie, Donna, Mike Piazza, Grandma, Dr. Jeff, Noah, Val's Lawyer, Jasper, The Tomato Thrower, Peter, and Alex.

Sara's pick for Loser: Kelly 

Sarah's Loser Tally: Brandon 10, David 8, Leann 2 and the one-offs: Blood Bank Director (Kelly's the UNIVERSAL RECIPIENT YOU MORONS), Fruit Roll-Up Legal Team, Crab Cake Chef, Ben's Parents, the Hunter Family, Kelly, Josh, Brian the Scab, Jesse, and Donna.

I promise to do better next time. Also, I have now typed Brandon into the notepad on my phone so often that anytime I use the letter B it's a suggested word. Thanks?  

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