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Things I am no Longer Allowed to do at Renautas/Primatech

We've done this in the past so let's try it again. Inspired by http://skippyslist.com/list/ about his time in the Army.  You're an office drone at Renautus. Not a true believer but someone who's working for a paycheck. You are also however the most awful/awesome employee ever. Tell us how you've been corrected.

 

I'll start....

1. I am not to blurt out negative comments about my co-workers

2. I will stop blaming this behavior on an evo making me. We don't have anyone with that power here.

3. Adding "but I'd still totally hit that" after such statements does not "soften the blow".

Edited by Monty9.
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I will not sing 'If I Could Turn Back Time' every time someone mentions Hiro

I will not mumble "Sylar could have fixed this problem" each time something goes wrong

I will not ask Claire if she's read Flowers in the Attic whenever she's near Peter

 

I loved playing and reading this back on TwoP.  Had to go old school because I don't really remember the new character's names or what they can actually do.

Edited by toomuchtv47.
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I will not bribe Tommy to teleport my in-laws into a volcano.

I will not wear my "I'm with stupid" shirt while Dr. Suresh is in the office.

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I will not have Katana Girl set up a nice house in the country for me to retire in. 

I will not try to bribe Luke to go camping with me just so I have a fire starter. (I may bribe him for other reasons, no wait, I think that's against the rules too!) 

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toomuchtv47

I loved playing and reading this back on TwoP.  Had to go old school because I don't really remember the new character's names or what they can actually do.

 

 

I had to Google to figure out that the new evil corporation was called "Renautus" while I remembered Primatech with no problem.

Edited by Monty9.
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Note that it's actually "Renautas".  I've updated the thread title.

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Note that it's actually "Renautas"

My bad. Thanks MarkHB for fixing it.

 

To get it back on topic....

 

I am not allowed to use Hiro to put me at the front of the line for Friday bagels

I am not allowed to use Tommy to put me at the front of the line for Friday bagels

I am to shut up about Harris taking more than one bagel at Friday bagels (But seriously, he's not even in clone mode when he does it. He just takes them.)

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I am not allowed to create huge dust bunnies of doom with Harris clones to keep the cleaning staff occupied all night long.

Edited by Hanahope.
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I am not allowed to ask Hiro to time travel back in time, to fix my personal issues. 

I am not allowed to ask the Harris Clones to help me with my paperwork. 

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I am not allowed to visit the wacky guy in the basement and keep bugging him about being sent into the future in one of the boxes because I'm small and will fit.

I am not allowed to 'Borrow' Harris's suits and 'dust' the mostly naked clone just so I don't have to spend money on my wardrobe

I am not allowed to randomly chop off bits of Harris and time how long until a Harris clone is fully formed because it is considered antisocial...

I am not allowed to make jokes about Harris's private life and his ability to have one man orgy masturbation sessions. It is considered sexual harassment and should not be made the subject of yaoi's no matter how hilarious it is to attach it to emails that I send to coworkers.

I'm not allowed to draw doodles on the super elaborate/secret plan to save the world through temporal displacement. 

 

Um yeah I'd make a terrible employee at that place.

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I am not allowed to call Phoebe (dark cloud of blocking powers lady) "Pigpen"

 

We do not need theme music.*

So I should stop playing "Yakkity Sax" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ  whenever something goes down at HQ.

I am not allowed to have Beyonce's "Feelin' Myself" as my theme music,  Erica is claiming it.

 

 

*Ideas taken from NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour Podcast

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I am no longer allowed to take Penny-man's briefcase of pennies to the bank coin machine or the casino penny-slots.

I am no longer allowed to use Parkman to put my boss into a trance while I duck out early from work.

I am no longer allowed to use Phoebe for mood lighting for my dates.

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When Noah Bennet breaks in, I am no longer allowed to hide his glasses and take video of him stumbling around into things.

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I am no longer allowed to offer free mani/pedis to Harris (Prime) in order to create my own army.

 

I am no longer allowed to ask Phoebe to unleash her smoke so I can make a dramatic entrance.

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