Small Talk: How Not To Get Caught Dead With Dirty Underwear

And when they showed police photos of her apartment, what a mess!  I know, that is petty but I am just saying.

 

With a husband, two kids, and two dogs, things can get cluttered and hairy around here in no time. Is it weird that I often look around and envision what my house would look like on Dateline or 48 hours if it were a crime scene?  I watch too many of these shows!

Edited by tobeannounced.
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It's not weird to me!  I watch too many of these shows, too, and have thought the same thing.  And while I'm in no imminent danger of being murdered (...or am I????), I still sometimes look around and think, oh, I'd better run the vacuum and do some dusting, in case the police come to my door and need to ask some questions.  Even if I'm not the one whose body is discovered in an embarrassingly untidy home, that doesn't mean one of my neighbors isn't going to meet with some kind of misfortune that sends detectives to my living room.  By the same token, when we are about to leave for vacation, I go into this weird, manic cleaning spree that includes washing and putting away all of our laundry, because if something happens to us while we're gone, I don't want someone who is probably going to be upset already to have to come in and deal with our dirty underwear.  I like to be prepared.

 

A close friend of mine was in the horrific position of getting the police knock at 4:00 a.m., only to open the door and have officers and detectives come flooding into her house.  She was 100% clueless as to what was going on, and as detectives started labeling every room in the house with numbers to keep track of evidence they found and where it came from / which rooms had  or had not yet been searched,  they told it her it was about something unthinkable her husband had been doing online in their home.  The floor went out from under her, and she had no idea what to do next, but she said somehow the next words out of her mouth were, "I'm sorry I hadn't tidied up before you got here.  Would you like some coffee?".  She normally keeps a clean house, and I'm sure it was fine, but even in the middle of such a crisis, that's still where her mind went.  She did end up making these men coffee, and one of them was kind enough to help because her hands were shaking so badly he was afraid she might burn herself.

Edited by Irritable.
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I have no idea how this forum got created without a Small Talk spot, a place to talk about everything except Dateline episodes.

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Oh, Lordy!! Something else to think of!! I know that with a diabetic, incontinent 14-year old schnauzer and 3 cats, I always think if Ineed an ambulance, I'll crawl my way to the porch and wait outside!

I've been single since the year 2000 (mostly because I'm a workaholic). Been texting with this one guy on Tinder who seems to be a nice enough guy, but all I can think of is Dateline, ID, Murder Made Me Famous, and all the other things I'm addicted to. Now or never?

I don't know what it says about me when my first thought at seeing the thread title was "not wear any?"

**flees**

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LOL, sorry, it was the first thing I thought of when creating a headline!!

I have tried the online dating thing, but now that I'm in my mid-fifties, it's not easy. When I met my ex-boyfriend on Match, 9 years ago, I had a much easier time. Now, the guys are all players... wanting to know how much money you have, what kind of house do you live in, etc. It's downright scary, so be careful out there!

I've gotten to know some interesting people on Facebook, where it's a lot easier to be open with people. Friends of friends, etc. sort of thing. I think you can learn a lot more about a person there than on a dating site where everyone is "on" and trying to portray a certain image.

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I don't know what it says about me when my first thought at seeing the thread title was "not wear any?"

Oh no, Punkypower!  Then the coroner will tell everyone you're a tramp.  I'm still not over that coroner a few weeks ago who said the young female victim was, "So modest she didn't even have pierced ears."  Not till then did I realize my pierced ears made me a brazen hussy.

 

I'm not worried about the state of my house because I'm sort of obsessively tidy and It would be kind of a perk for me to have the police look into my beautifully arranged linen closet.  My ungrateful family has never noticed!  It's me my own self that's likely to be caught on camera in horrific disarray.  Between all that cleaning and making sure nobody's wrong on the internet, I'm likely to be wearing mismatched, bleach spotted sweats with my messy  hair in a scrunchy and not a speck of make-up.  My mug shot would look a lot like Nick Nolte's.

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I'm still not over that coroner a few weeks ago who said the young female victim was, "So modest she didn't even have pierced ears."

 

 

I must have missed that episode. But if that's true, let it be known I'm extremely modest ... but a TERRIBLE house keeper ... if I'm ever busted for any crime. Plus I look like Nick Nolte's unattractive brother.  So there's that, too, all the more reason for me to NOT get involved in crime.

 

ETA: I'm on two online match sites. Both send me several "matches" every day. For the most part, I read the profiles as a study in sociology. There pretty much is a standard profile for the American divorced man, and very few out there who are independent thinkers or who can even write a profile in proper English. It's a sad state of affairs. No pun intended.

Edited by saber5055.
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One thing you can do, and it's worth the money, is to run a guy's name through the online services that give you background checks. A guy who I was talking to from one site told me.... in one day... how he worked at home for a certain company, his wife took everything and he gave her his entire 401K earnings, even though she cheated on him. Ummm.... I'm sorry, but that doesn't compute. I called the company he said he worked for, as if I was checking a reference for a credit card, and they said he'd been fired 3 years ago. That's all any company can tell you, that they either resigned or were fired.

But that was enough.

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Hi Cook. Google is a great tool to check out anyone. Did you tell that guy that he was fired, just in case he had forgotten that? I'd guess he didn't have a 401 either, or else he squandered it himself. The majority of man profiles I get, the guys say they are honest, trustworthy, loving and caring, treat their woman like gold, are family oriented, love Jesus, are pretty much perfect in every way. They also like walks on the beach, in the woods, holding hands, watching sunsets on the deck, "snuggling" on the couch, blah blah. I can't help but think, yeah, that's why you are divorced, you are perfect.

 

They also state they are looking for a woman who is honest, trustworthy. That makes me laugh since the biggest liar in the world will tell you he/she is honest and trustworthy. Most add that they want someone who does not argue or complain. That also gives me insight into why they are divorced. I can hear their ex asking them over and over again to take out the garbage while they sit like a lump on the couch, beer in hand. "The little lady is nagging me again, I need to get out of this suffocating marriage." Meanwhile, the "little lady" ends up taking the garbage to the curb herself. (And, hopefully, kicking the "old man" there, too.)

 

Okay, you've got me started. I'd better quit now! 

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Funny, talking about trying to read into what people put on their dating profiles, I just watched an older episode of...not sure now if it was Dateline, could have been any of "my depressing murder shows" as Mr. Irritable calls them, but there was a man who had just viciously murdered his parents - beat them with a baseball bat and then sliced them up with a sword to make absolutely sure they died - who went on the run once he became the prime suspect.  He was married with a small child, but while on the lam he joined some dating sites and they showed photos of a couple of his profiles where he described himself as "good people".  So ladies, please add "good people" to your list of red flags while out there in the online dating world!

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I have decided that my dog is my best mate to spend time with, and the cats are here for entertainment value.

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Happily single and reclusive since 2002 - never even bothered dating after the old man left. I also don't have an internet footprint (except here & previously at TWoP), so you can't Google me.  My ex husband (from the 70s) tried to find me a while back and was unable to do so until he finally found an aunt in B.C. who's only had my phone # since my granny died a few years ago.  :-)  Yep, me and the cats are flying under the radar.  Our motto is "Some trust is good, no trust is better".

 

My arms are too fucked up to do housework, so my house is very dirty and cluttered.  I don't wear underwear, or clothes unless it's cold, so the coroner's going to have a field day.  I don't give a shit about any of that - I just want to find somebody to look after my critters and inherit my house after I'm brutally murdered (probably by my newly acquired heir).   ;-)

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Like you, WalnutQueen, I am determined to leave as little of a footprint as I can. I don't tweet, IG, of anything else.  I only set up a FB account to see my niece's adorable babies and wouldn't know how to communicate with people on the page {is that correct?}.  I consider that stuff for my son's generation--I couldn't care less how many lattes you drink, where you went for lunch and how many "likes" you get.   Hell, I still have a flip phone!

 

{Get off my lawn!!!!  :) :)}

Edited by One More Time.
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I've never even had a cell phone.  The last thing I want is to "stay connected."  Why do they think I volunteered to go to the store in the first place?

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I've never even had a cell phone.  The last thing I want is to "stay connected."  Why do they think I volunteered to go to the store in the first place?

 

Same here! my antiquated cellphone lives on the bottom of my handbag, turned off.  I've used it 15 times this year,  maybe.  In case of an emergency, I'd have to fish thru the bag, find it and then try to turn it on without the bad guy noticing.  And my message on it says "If you  REALLY need to talk to me, call me on my home phone", and  fervently hope most people would think, Ah, not worth the trouble!

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Like you, WalnutQueen, I am determined to leave as little of a footprint as I can. I don't tweet, IG, of anything else.  I only set up a FB account to see my niece's adorable babies and wouldn't know how to communicate with people on the page {is that correct?}.  I consider that stuff for my son's generation--I couldn't care less how many lattes you drink, where you went for lunch and how many "likes" you get.   Hell, I still have a flip phone!

 

{Get off my lawn!!!!  :) :)}

 

 

I've never even had a cell phone.  The last thing I want is to "stay connected."  Why do they think I volunteered to go to the store in the first place?

 

I have an old cordless phone connected to a LAND LINE with a battery that goes dead after about 2 1/2 hours.  I only talk to 2 people, but we like to have marathon chats, so I'm considering springing for another Walmart cheapie phone, one of these years.  :-)

 

Hey, I still remember when we had Party Lines and 4 digit phone numbers!!!

 

I am sure I will RUE the day I need a cellphone to dial 911 as I witness a horrible crime being committed.  Guess I'll just have to rush into the fray with my car hatchet (or home machete) and save the victim myself.  :-D

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Party lines... OMG, I used to have the most fun with those! My Granny's neighborhood, I could listen in to the teenage boy next door talking to his girlfriend. I think I learned more about sex from that than any talks my mother ever had with me. Then the one we had at our house out in the country, one time the neighbor went away on vacation and left their phone off the hook. We were all trapped with no phone service! LOL!! We didn't have a phone until I was 12. We previously lived in town and if you needed anything, you just ran next door.

My dad had a tumor on his spine which caused him to pass out, with his eyes rolling back in his head and my mother screaming.... I remember running out and down the street to the neighbors who had a phone, in my pajamas, for them to call for an ambulance. He had surgery and was totally fine after that, but it scared my parents into finally getting a phone once we moved out to the country.

I only have a cell phone. My land line phone cost me more than the monthly fee for a cell phone, so it was a no-brainer to me to get the cell phone. I had a cheapie flip phone at first, then a LG with a keyboard, now I have an iPhone. I am a Mac user and everything is Mac-based and interconnective. I have a keyboard attached to my iPad (which is where I am most of the time) and if someone with an iPhone texts me, it will come in on the iPad so I can answer them a lot easier than by typing on the tiny phone keys.

I'm on Facebook, but my page is locked down tight for anyone who's not a friend. I don't tweet or anything else, I don't have time.

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I'm not worried about the state of my house because I'm sort of obsessively tidy and It would be kind of a perk for me to have the police look into my beautifully arranged linen closet.

 

I never got the knack of folding fitted sheets so you got me there but I'll put my pantry up against anyone's! Would some detective or crime scene tech open the door and infer anything from the neat stacks of canned goods and non-perishables, all in rows with labels aligned? Other than, "The victim sure didn't plan on running out of staples and shelf-stable microwave meals, that's for sure." Or if I was the murderer, "Hm, compulsive."

 

Phonage: I have a prepaid cell that I leave turned off unless I need to make an outgoing call, which is maybe once every 2 weeks. Everyone knows to email me instead. No land line. I also never answer the door unless I'm expecting someone, which is never unless it's Internet repair or something. My sister lives across the street and comes in with her key if she feels like it.

 

Marriages: Three, which is more than enough don't you think. I enjoy my own company, thanks.

 

Myers-Briggs: ISFJ with an emphasis on the I. If there's a test or scale for Don't Give a Shit, I'm pegging the meter. I live in a huge retirement community with thousands of clubs and activities and participate in none of them. I'd rather chew glass than be out mingling in crowds all day. So add "loner" to my case file at the police department (although I prefer the term "Walden-esque"). No kids, no pets, no plants.

 

Politics: pinko commie since the 60s.

 

I've lived in various states and overseas during the last 3 decades and one thing that teaches a person is to pare the hell down. I've been in Florida for 5 years now and whenever a delivery person comes to my house they invariably say, "You just move in?" Because I have almost no furniture and nothing on the walls. My nightstand in the bedroom is a large plastic box. Again, can't be bothered.

 

My murdered corpse would definitely not be discovered for a few days, so, detectives who find me, make of all that what you will!

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I'll put my pantry up against anyone's! Would some detective or crime scene tech open the door and infer anything from the neat stacks of canned goods and non-perishables, all in rows with labels aligned?

 

Oooh, Lordonia, I would love to come and admire your pantry!  I bet it's beautiful, but I'm sure you don't buy all store brand products so  the labels all match -- because that would be weird, wouldn't it? looks around paranoid

 

Remember the Dateline about  Canadian Air Force Colonel who started out peeping in windows and collecting panties and ended up killing the women he watched?  I thought he was one of the worst, creepiest murderers we've seen due to his power as an authority figure.  I did admire the neatness of that panty collection, though.

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He could have made a fortune with those on the adult section of eBay.

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I assume most of us also read crime fiction/mysteries? :)

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Oh, man, you guys are cracking me up this morning. I have to come back when I have more time. I think I've found a good chat room, inhabited by a commie pinko and a naked person. And someone who puts all her cans facing the same way. Hey, remember that movie where the abused wife ran away and took a new name, and only knew her ex had found her because he came in her house one night and moved the cans out of alignment?

Edited by saber5055.
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Oh yes, and I've partied with Patricia Cornwell when I lived in Richmond. :D

I prefer the true crime Ann Rule type of books. But Cornwell's stuff would mention places and people I knew so it was fun to read.

I think Diane Downs was probably my most hated murderer.

Oh, man, you guys are cracking me up this morning. I have to come back when I have more time. I think I've found a good chat room, inhabited by a commie pinko and a naked person. And someone who puts all her cans facing the same way. Hey, remember that movie where the abused wife ran away and took a new name, and only knew her ex had found her because he came in her house one night and moved the cans out of alignment?

Oh HELL no, enlighten me! My ex-husband and ex-boyfriend wouldn't dare come into my yard, much less my house. They know better.

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OMG,I have found my people!!

I have to come back and finish repping y'all, because I've hit my limit.

I also obsess about if anything happens to me, what about the furkids??

The date actually went...great, I thought? After 15 years, I just really thought he'd walk in the restaurant, see me, and turn back out. Total gentleman. Best part, he's offshore geologist, so no smothering. Aaaand, apparemtly he's like me, and if we have to communicate, it is through texting (I HATE talking on the phone..burrr).

As for the panties talk, I know it's not Dateline, but I was watching See No Evil on ID last night and they kept showing the (fake) victim who had the panties pulled down to her ankles and kept thinking I'd rather be thought a hoochie than to have that pose as the last image of me.

WARNING: From here on, drink your coffee BEFORE catching up on this thread or, in addition to a possibly dirty house and possible underwear, they'll find a stained phone or computer! I learned that lesson from you gems this morning! <3

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I think Diane Downs was probably my most hated murderer.

 

Those poor kids.

 

I kind of stopped watched Snapped because there's never any mystery or surprise, but a couple of those women were right up there.

 

On another note, I recently discovered the detective TV series Life and have been really enjoying it. It ran from 2007-2009 and stars a cop who was wrongly convicted for murder. He's released after spending 12 years in prison, got a $50M settlement and has rejoined the LAPD. It's quirky with a lighthearted sort of tone. There's an overarching storyline about him trying to find the real murderer and also who framed him for it, but each ep is also a standalone procedural.

 

What Netflix-y shows do you guys like that I should try?

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I have a friend who's an actress, and she once portrayed someone on one of Paula Zahn's shows, and she played a mother who was murdered. They never showed her face, just from the chin down, for some odd reason. Because my friend looked a lot like the murdered woman. I thought that was so cool. I've seen her in lots of films or TV shows as an extra, but this was the first time she had a "starring" role. She's now a SAG/AFTRA member and is getting bigger roles. She's in Virginia right now on the set of some new Daniel Radcliffe film.

I used to do a lot of work as an extra, but never got to play any real-life person. I think that would be very cool on the one hand, and heart-breaking on the other. Especially if the family members are still around and want to talk to you about it or something.

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Oh, man, you guys are cracking me up this morning. I have to come back when I have more time. I think I've found a good chat room, inhabited by a commie pinko and a naked person. And someone who puts all her cans facing the same way. Hey, remember that movie where the abused wife ran away and took a new name, and only knew her ex had found her because he came in her house one night and moved the cans out of alignment?

 

Actually, I'm a naked commie pinko hippie reclusive cat-lady crone with hoarder Level One tendencies.  ;~d

 

Sleeping With The Enemy was my very first thought when I read about the can labels (sorry, lordonia - everything else about you screams soul sister to me!).

 

Many years ago, I was working with a police sergeant on outfitting a mobile command post.  My boss kept telling me said sarge had a crush on me, and to "go for it".   I went to his house to record the message on his answering machine (I had "the voice") and it was so spotless you could eat off the garage floor.  That was the first red flag.  But what sent him over into "Sleeping With The Enemy" territory was watching him go through the command post with a screwdriver, making sure all the screws in the light switch-plates were perfectly aligned the same way.  YIKES!  Even my boss said "RUN, WQ, RUN!!!"

Edited by walnutqueen.
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OMG!!!!! A screw fanatic! I once dated (once, mind you, once was enough) a guy who'd compulsively turn the lightbulbs in every single lamp or light fixture to make sure they were in tight. When he said something about me having a second beer, like it was a bad thing, I wanted to tell him to go look in the bathroom mirror as to the reason why, and then look at the four lights above the mirror because one of them was probably out of sync.

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I just toss stuff in my underwear drawer without even folding, if that calms yours nerves any.  ;)

 

That damned Sleeping With the Enemy movie! How such a cheesy thing ever became such a pop culture touchstone ...

 

I definitely have cat tendencies but when the most recent one died it kind of broke my spirit. And yes! What would happen to them after I'm murderized?

 

Cooks, how did you get started as an extra? Were you living in LA at the time?

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Nope, I was in Richmond. There are a ton of movies filmed there, as are here in NC and GA. They paid us cash under the table. Hell, I didn't care, I was making $150-200 per day, taking my vacation time from my real job at an ad agency and cleaning up. My first movie was "Kennedy" with Martin Sheen and Blair Brown. I was one of the people in a black wool coat standing up behind him when he gave his inaugural speech. Mind you, it was filmed in July, 100° and we all nearly passed out. Second movie was "Dream West" with Richard Chamberlain, Alice Krige, and a bunch of other people who were fun as hell to hang out with. One scene which took up about 15 minutes on screen took all day and night to shoot. At one point, a bunch of us were laid out underneath the dining table (in the Govener's Mansion, no less) and the man who played the butler on Dynasty (cannot remember his name) came in, looked at us in our big silky ball gowns, laid out in a row, and said "I'll take you ALL right now!" I loved that man. My most recent movie was "42" shot in Chattanooga. I was in the stands at the ballpark, along with a bunch of wooden dummies. If you look really close, you can see people who aren't really people. But I loved the period costumes we got to wear, I wanted to steal them all.

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OMG!!!!! A screw fanatic! I once dated (once, mind you, once was enough) a guy who'd compulsively turn the lightbulbs in every single lamp or light fixture to make sure they were in tight. When he said something about me having a second beer, like it was a bad thing, I wanted to tell him to go look in the bathroom mirror as to the reason why, and then look at the four lights above the mirror because one of them was probably out of sync.

 

These were slot screws, and all had to be aligned horizontally, not vertically, because ... he was nucking futs!

 

 

 

I just toss stuff in my underwear drawer without even folding, if that calms yours nerves any.  ;)

 

That damned Sleeping With the Enemy movie! How such a cheesy thing ever became such a pop culture touchstone ...

 

I definitely have cat tendencies but when the most recent one died it kind of broke my spirit. And yes! What would happen to them after I'm murderized?

 

Cooks, how did you get started as an extra? Were you living in LA at the time?

 

I don't have an underwear drawer, so the creepy colonel would've been shit out of luck at Casa de Deplorable (I have ONE bra I wear just to disguise the south-pointing nips when I go grocery shopping).

 

We need some sort of support group for taking care of each others' critters in case of murder, mayhem or sudden death.

 

Don't you guys have any animal loving offspring who'd like to have a dilapidated house in sunny SoCal,  GODDAMMIT!?!   :-)

 

Hey, cooks - I really need to supplement my paltry pension with $ under the table to buy cat food, and have only been able to sign up for 2 cat research focus panels.  Any tips you could send my way ...?  I'm askeered to reply to Craigslist ads.  ;-)

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Ebay is your friend, Walnutqueen. If you are in So. Cal., you can buy used wardrobe from movies and TV shows, but you'll have to know who wore what.

I have made a small fortune selling old Tupperware. I am not kidding you. I used to hit yard sales and estate sales in Richmond on Fridays and Saturdays, but before I'd go I'd check out the Collectibles category on eBay to see what the hot sellers were.

I will never forget going to a big flea market with a friend and she literally screamed "ZIPPYYYYY!!!" when she saw a stuffed monkey. Turns out it was something collectible and she sold it for 30 times what she paid for it.

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I prefer the true crime Ann Rule type of books.

 

Oooooooooo,,,me too, cooksdelight, and I'd have a hard time picking out a favorite since I love them all.  My only hope is that someone will find a cache of as-yet-unpublished gems to bring to the public now that our beloved Ann has passed on.

 

It certainly sounds as though you live, and have lived, a most interesting life, cooks.  It's always such fun when you let us in on your adventures!

 

ETA:  As I read through all these wonderful self-descriptions, I can't help but think it would be such a hoot to have all of us in one large room - without the benefit of nametags - and go around trying to match the person with the story.  Think of it as a Mystery Dinner sort of night - LOL.

Edited by Tunia.
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Ebay is your friend, Walnutqueen. If you are in So. Cal., you can buy used wardrobe from movies and TV shows, but you'll have to know who wore what.

I have made a small fortune selling old Tupperware. I am not kidding you. I used to hit yard sales and estate sales in Richmond on Fridays and Saturdays, but before I'd go I'd check out the Collectibles category on eBay to see what the hot sellers were.

I will never forget going to a big flea market with a friend and she literally screamed "ZIPPYYYYY!!!" when she saw a stuffed monkey. Turns out it was something collectible and she sold it for 30 times what she paid for it.

 

Ah, yes, EBay.  I believe you need a camera and a passing familiarity with computers for that particular income stream.  But once I get a camera and figure out how to do the Ebay thingy, I have plenty of vintage treasures I could make bank on.

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Hey, cooks - I really need to supplement my paltry pension with $ under the table to buy cat food, and have only been able to sign up for 2 cat research focus panels. Any tips you could send my way ...? I'm askeered to reply to Craigslist ads. ;-)

 

Here's one for you, WQ:

A former neighbor of mine used to earn some good and quick cash by volunteering her left arm for pharmaceutical drug testing,  If you don't mind 20-30 small bandaids on your arm and an occasional rash (!), you can make a buck or twenty in your spare time if you have any pharma companies in your area.  As I recall, they paid in cash..,X$ per swab (it would vary depending on what they were testing).  Now that I think of it, I think she also sold her blood!

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I have made a small fortune selling old Tupperware.

 

You're welcome! I have spent same on replacement lids and/or plugs and the good microwave containers made out of hard plastic. Doesn't melt and leach, ya'll!

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Here's one for you, WQ:

A former neighbor of mine used to earn some good and quick cash by volunteering her left arm for pharmaceutical drug testing,  If you don't mind 20-30 small bandaids on your arm and an occasional rash (!), you can make a buck or twenty in your spare time if you have any pharma companies in your area.  As I recall, they paid in cash..,X$ per swab (it would vary depending on what they were testing).  Now that I think of it, I think she also sold her blood!

 

My blood/plasma I might sell - if they'd even take it.  But I wouldn't let Pharma fuck with my body for all the cat food in all the Walmarts in the country.  Those fucking fuckers have NO IDEA what their drugs might do to the human body, and I need to protect the little health I have left.  I missed being a Thalidomide baby by only a couple of years, and was pumped full of painkillers, etc. by GOOD docs for 6 years in an attempt to keep me working (one dose of Lyrica left me with chronic tinnitus, and I had Bextra, Vioxx, Celebrex and a couple of other lawsuit drugs prescribed for me during that time).  Quit them all "cold turkey" the day I put in my early retirement papers, and never looked back (by that time, it was the Vicodin/Oxy cocktail I lived on).  That said, I'd be happy to be a medical marijuana guinea pig, if anyone's offering!   :-)

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ETA: As I read through all these wonderful self-descriptions, I can't help but think it would be such a hoot to have all of us in one large room - without the benefit of nametags - and go around trying to match the person with the story. Think of it as a Mystery Dinner sort of night - LOL.

I got together with some eBayers years ago. We had never met but knew each other from the now-defunct chatboards they used to have. I don't think I slept for four days, and we laughed and had the best time. Then, I found an eBayer who lives right here in my hometown, and she and her husband are like second parents to me.

Now, according to Walnutqueen, she might not have anywhere to hang a name tag unless it's grocery shopping day! :D

I missed being a Thalidomide baby by only a couple of years

Oh, I know one of those. He has short flippers instead of arms.

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I got together with some eBayers years ago. We had never met but knew each other from the now-defunct chatboards they used to have. I don't think I slept for four days, and we laughed and had the best time. Then, I found an eBayer who lives right here in my hometown, and she and her husband are like second parents to me.

Now, according to Walnutqueen, she might not have anywhere to hang a name tag unless it's grocery shopping day! :D

Oh, I know one of those. He has short flippers instead of arms.

 

No worries, I have plenty of room on my now saggy boobs and Buddha Belly to temporarily tattoo a name-tagline, for the few clueless souls who couldn't pick me out of a police lineup while blindfolded.  ;-)

 

Just to clarify - I only wear a bra when totally necessary.  I admit to wearing oversized men's tees, shorts & flip-flops for most outings - which range within a mile of my house and last 45 minutes, tops (I am an efficient shopper lucky enough to have the purrfect central location for EVERYONE's needs - HINT, HINT!).

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ETA:  As I read through all these wonderful self-descriptions, I can't help but think it would be such a hoot to have all of us in one large room - without the benefit of nametags - and go around trying to match the person with the story.  Think of it as a Mystery Dinner sort of night - LOL.

 

 

Clothing and underwear optional?

 

At one get-together for old horse-show people, we each wrote some obscure fact about ourselves and tossed it in a pot. Then one person read the factoid and we had to guess whom it was written by. That's a fun party ice melter, and we all got to better know people we already knew.

 

When I have time, I will post about my experiences as a movie extra and my life as a misfit and outcast! I work from home, so coming here is my way of avoiding working. But in my case, no workee, no payee. Gotta get back to it.  But first:

I missed being a Thalidomide baby by only a couple of years

 

 

When I worked at the magazine, we all got shirts to wear at convention. They were poorly made, with shoulder seams that came down the arm, then short sleeves. My editor came into a meeting wearing his. He had his arms pulled up inside the baggy sleeves and was waving his hands, all that was showing: "Look! I'm a Thalidomide baby!" I started laughing so hard, I really did almost fall out of my chair. All the younger editors just sat and stared, like, WTH? I was the only one who got the (bad) joke.

Edited by saber5055.
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I work at home also. saber5055, and I know what you mean. It reminded me of more to the story about the guy who supposedly worked at home. The online dating guy I mentioned earlier, who forgot he didn't have a job, he was also just downright stupid.

One day, I get an email to someone addressed Susan. I'm not Susan. He's telling her about himself, but his story has varied slightly. He's bragging about all the women who he's met on Match and gone out with. I replied to him to get his stories straight and stop calling me Susan.

He did it again the next day! Either this was his way of getting rid of me, or the guy probably doesn't know how to drive. LOL

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saber5055,

You had me running back to yesterday's MSN homepage to do a photo comparison of your pooch.  As I was clicking through their article and saw one of the pics, my immediate thought was that I've seen that face before.  Please don't take offense to the title of the article, as our beloved beagle is also on the list, but I thought you 'd enjoy seeing this:

 

http://dogs.petbreeds.com/stories/3667/least-intelligent-dumbest-dogs#6-lhasa-apso

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saber5055 - I did horse shows in the 1970s!  I also did a bunch of guys, but those were the days, eh.

 

I don't work at all, but I'm home all the time, and I live vicariously through all your internet dating adventures, you young'uns, you!

 

Hormones will sink you, every time.  In the 70s it was crabs, pregnancy and hitching a ride with Ted Bundy types ...

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Cooks, you should have responded to that hottie-mc-hottie Match guy and set up a date for him with "Susan." Then stood him up. And yeah, a guy who brags about how many dates he's had really makes me want to go out with him ... NOT!

On another note, I recently discovered the detective TV series Life and have been really enjoying it.

 

 

OMGosh, that show is when I started my tv-boyfriend love affair with Damian Lewis. I was crushed when it was cancelled, but I get to see him in so many other places now, even on PBS.

 

Punkypower, keep us posted on your offshore geologist. IF that's really his job. *insert evil laughter*

 

Tunia, close but no cigar on the dog matching. But first, I have to tell Judy that after she mentioned visiting my profile to see my dog-faced avatar, I checked that site and pretty much every Jeopardy poster had been there after reading Judy's post, most within minutes of each other. Too funny!

 

Anyway, I'm used to show Lhasas with long coats, eyes covered. So seeing the trimmed Lhasa on that link, Tunia, made me see how you chose that dog. I have to say, I do not care for the breed. I show dogs, and have shown/handled/groomed nearly every breed. One Lhasa I showed we had to pick up his crate and shake him out because if you reached in for him, he would chew your hands off. Once you got him out of the crate and "captured," you could get his lead on and then he was fine. I also did a pet groom on a pet Lhasa and, let me say, that first time was the last time. What a monster, flopping like a wild carp on a rope on my grooming table, screaming and trying to bite me. No thanks!

 

My avatar is a Petite Basset Griffon Vendéen, which is a French rabbit hunting hound. Here are some photos.

 

PBGVs.

 

I did horse shows in the 1970s!  I also did a bunch of guys, but those were the days, eh.

 

 

Walnut, what kind of horses? My first horse was an Appaloosa I bought when I was 15. I showed him hunter/jumper, back when NO ONE showed anything but solid-colored horses as hunters. I was a pariah even then. I went on to Saddlebreds, and still own two after having as many as 19 at one time. But I've shown Arabians, QHs, pintos, western, english, hunt seat, saddle seat.

 

And while I never "did" any guys, I used to have as many as four dates in two days. Yeah, those were the days. All the guys then were, "So, now that I'm in your life you don't have to go to horse shows or have a horse any more." Which would result in insta-dump. I look back now and realize I should have married some of those engineers I dated, then divorced them and soaked them for their life savings, car and house. I did it the hard way, making my own fortune with no help from any man. *coughfortuneyeahrightcough*

Edited by saber5055.
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My avatar is a Petite Basset Griffon Vendéen, which is a French rabbit hunting hound. Here are some photos.

 

PBGVs.

 

...a face to love, for sure!

 

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I see the PBGV's on the Westminster show every year!  Love them! They always remind me of a Bearded Collie I used to have only one third the size.   My last two dogs have been Dachshunds who I love for their feisty personality but next time I think I'll get a breed that doesn't take me two years to house break.  No matter how well polished my furniture is,  that pile in the middle of the living room gives a bad first impression.

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...a face to love, for sure!

 

 

The saying is, they are so cute so you do not kill them. I think that's a joke. I think. They are adorable, though, and very gentle and sweet. But, like many breeds, not for everyone.

 

Judy, teach the dogs to dump all in a neat row. Ha ha! I have dog doors, which makes it easy for me. During the day I have eight dogs in the house with me, so it saves a lot of getting up and down. (Yes, eight.) 

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