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All Episodes Talk: Wisteria Lane Wanna Be

A place to discuss particular episodes, arcs and moments from the show's run. Please remember this isn't a complete catch-all topic -- check out the forum for character topics and other places for show-related talk.

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Not sure I understand the difference between this thread and the Hatewatching one but here goes.

 

Sigh, TP doesn't seem to have learned much about scene pacing and writing non-repetitive dialogue. I thought The Haves and the Have Nots would have provided him some OJT on what not to do but apparently it didn't.

 

He's running with a lot of the tried-and-true soap opera tropes right out of the gate. Guy sleeping with best buddy's wife. Jealous and possessive ex-husband. Wife pregnant by her husband's best buddy. Seems a bit clichéd but maybe TP'll manage to bring some new twists....Yeah and pigs are going to be cruising up in the jet stream.

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Some of my reactions to the second episode:

Randal's got a top-heavy body. He might be one of those short-ish guys who bulk up to overcompensate for their lack of height.

 

Must admit that I like the way TP portrays the friendship between the women. For all his shortcomings in writing drama (at least going by what I've seen on THATHN), he gets this part right. He must have studied Desperate Housewives like he was going to be tested on it.

 

Kelly's maybe-two-timing-boyfriend. Missionary position. The jokes write themselves.

 

Poor Aiden Turner. He worked on one of the classic daytime soaps--All My Children--with one of the acclaimed pioneers of the genre, Agnes Nixon. It must be killing him to be dealing with this show's ridiculously slow pacing and trite, repetitive dialogue. But on the other hand, he's probably glad to have a job.

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Going off the first two episodes, it at least appeared that Tyler Perry tried to deal with the two greatest problems he had with this show's predecessor The Haves and the Have Nots: the Passions-esque endlessly circular dialogue, and the utterly static play-staged camera shots.  And up until halfway through the second episode he largely succeeded, or at least was able to cloak one with the other.  This show certainly has better production values, perhaps a better overall cast of performers out of the gate, and a larger budget; so if nothing else the illusion of improvement was there.

 

On the other hand: it probably wore its cliches on its sleeve like an even bigger badge of honor than Haves does.  And they're probably a bit more mundane cliche-wise: we've got the friend who's banging the hot blonde and is nominally obsessed with her (but it's funny because he's a psychologist, right?  Right?).  We've got the husband keeping a big secret from his wife (a vasectomy).  There's the Hanna, for lack of a better word, and her nice baby daddy--okay, that at least was a nice twist, but if TP holds true to form we're going to discover he kicks puppies or is a S&M junkie or has some sort of hidden weakness.  And, far and away the most infuriating of all, Edward: an abusive, chauvinistic, ex-Marine who of course is a cop and not above abusing his authority (cliche bingo!) on top of his best friend being blind to it all (bonus!).  I'm reserving judgment on Julius, Esperanza's new guy, until we see how thugged up he really is.

 

On the other other hand: TP seems to know his target audience.

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Third episode musings:
Based on that exchange Esperanza and her ex had about his being a "real" cop, how is he able to have so much facial hair? I thought patrol officers had to be relatively clean-cut. If Eddie was an undercover detective maybe I could see it but he's not. I guess he doesn't have to worry about random drug tests either.

Sigh, just like with THATHN, TP doesn't seem to write enough dialogue to fill the hour so sometimes the actors have to talk slower and use such long pauses that they look like they've got a neurological disorder. That first scene between Alex and Brad was almost as effective as a sleeping pill.

Eddie is the worst cop for someone who thinks he's such a badass. Not only did he not completely check the perp for weapons, he turned his back on the kid. No wonder he got drawn down on. Idiot.

I think the actors who play Alex and Randal were likely hired for their looks instead of acting ability. They both drag down the scenes they're in.

Edited by Joimiaroxeu.
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A case can be made that TP's adhering to soap tradition by hiring folks for their inherent Pretty for both this and THATHN, but when his usual writing/staging tics manifest hard like in last night's episode...particularly our old friend the circular conversation?  I kind of want to give them the benefit of the doubt for doing what they can with what they're given.  If nothing else, Amanda Clayton (Alex) was more animated here than Aiden Turner was.  Eltony Williams (Randal), meanwhile...he's actually giving off a subtle creepy vibe, and it's working for him, though he's probably given less to work with than Amanda.  He just has to creep up on her...all the time...wherever she is.  That said, points for a reasonably soapy way of outing Brad's vasectomy to his wife--while Brad thinks it may have failed, and which lends itself to a typical who's-the-daddy story no matter what.

 

It's funny and sad, though, that the best and/or most overall engaged actor on the show at this point seems to be Joel Rush--the guy playing the most detestable character on both of TP's nighttime dramas.  (Yup.  Victoria Harrington, you have been dethroned...if barely.)  After him it's probably Zulay Henao's Esperanza, though I do wonder if her stupid hotness (seriously, she was distracting as hell in that tight blue dress) is skewing the curve.

 

As for everybody else...if I had any doubt that Natalie would be this show's Hanna equivalent, it dissipated with this episode.  Her oldest son's going to put her through hell, and we all know it's coming.  Marcie and Kelly are just sort of there, though Marcie's suspicions about women and her husband are at least a good start; I'm just waiting for their respective bombs to drop (Travis possibly being a mama's boy, going off the promo for next week's episode, might be a start).  Lushion, Natalie's baby daddy, is a wild card.  If he's going to be pitted somehow against Edward, they're doing a slow burn with it.

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This week's episode: we meet Travis's mother (I think it was Jasmine Guy!), who may be the Victoria analogue for this show versus THATHN.  Poor Kelly gets shoved aside, almost literally.

 

Randal, continuing his obsessive stalking of Alex, has a phone chat with her where we get to see the depth of his obsession with her (he invokes the word "rape" when discussing why she apparently had agreed to screw him one particular time, which was both strange and a bit offputting, since that was never really clarified).  Edward's still crazier, but...wow.

 

Brad finally outs his vasectomy to Alex, meanwhile, but she's naturally happy to not dispute his belief that the vasectomy failed and she's carrying his kid.  By soap standards, I'm inclined to think the pregnancy's doomed.

 

Esperanza finally gets to talk to Julius, who as it turns out is the son of a member of--I am not kidding--the Medellin drug cartel.  (This show, AIUI, is set in Ohio.  Let that sink in for a minute.)  He's still deadset on taking out Edward, so she goes to warn him; this is where we meet Edward's new and bitchy wife, which is the only halfway memorable part of this since Edward predictably doesn't believe anybody would come after him.  And the preview for next week's episode gives THAT mistake away, of course.

 

Natalie, meanwhile, merely gets to talk to a parole officer about not being a stereotype (three kids by three different men, yeah, but she's committed to the whole "got to do it my damn self" thing) and rag on Esperanza about her lousy choices in men.  She's so the Hanna.

 

Oddly, this might be the best episode so far.  Or at least the least frustrating, apart from the rape invocation.

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Brad seemed to be doing a little double-talking during his convo with Randal. I think he knows about the affair.

 

TP doesn't seem to have much of an idea how professional people work. How does Randal have time to be running around dropping in on people? How does Brad get any work done when his buddies can show up at his office to shoot the breeze whenever they want? Oh, okay, now we find out that Randal makes six figures a year testifying as a court expert and has a lot of free time on his hands. Touché, TP.

 

I guess the word-of-the-day when TP was writing this script was "stereotype".

 

Sigh, Randal and  Alex's scenes are interminable. Giving those two actors all that slow, repetitive dialogue has a sleep-inducing effect the best narcotic drugs could only envy.

 

Yikes, what has "Whitney" done to her face? It's hard to imagine that she's now old enough to have a 30ish-year-old son.

 

Valet parking at a split-level tract house with a one-vehicle driveway. Seriously? But anyways...either Kelly is nuts or Travis has gaslighted her in a big way. Not sure I like where TP is going  with this plot line.

 

This week's episode: we meet Travis's mother (I think it was Jasmine Guy!), who may be the Victoria analogue for this show versus THATHN.

Did you mean Veronica? Whatever, yep, overprotective Rich Bitch whose son is apparently leading a hidden life so as not to upset his mommy. TP has that trope down pat.

 

By soap standards, I'm inclined to think the pregnancy's doomed.

I hope not. I really want to see if TP will give us a scene where Brad is in the delivery room and watches this little brown baby come out. Now that'd be some soapy goodness, right there.

 

This show, AIUI, is set in Ohio.  Let that sink in for a minute.

I'll give TP a pass on that. Most of the SW border states have made things rather inhospitable for people who look even vaguely Mexican. Allegedly the drug cartels have responded by moving their operations further north into more unlikely places like suburban Ohio where people might assume they're, for example, Puerto Rican or Cuban.

 

She's so the Hanna.

Well, to her credit Natalie hasn't broken out in a loud, wailing prayer at some random moment. Not yet anyway.

 

I agree that this was the best episode so far. The bar was set pretty low though, so even the tiniest improvement will stand out, I think.

Edited by Joimiaroxeu.
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Sometimes I don't think that Tyler Perry has ever read a newspaper.  At least not in the past 10 years.  The Medellin Cartel was based out of Colombia.  Due to external and internal pressures, the Mexican cartels became responsible for importing drugs into the US.  (You would think that the Colombian actress would have explained this to him)

 

That is indeed Jasmine Guy playing Travis's mother.  She hasn't done anything to her face, poor thing just didn't age well.

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I hope not. I really want to see if TP will give us a scene where Brad is in the delivery room and watches this little brown baby come out. Now that'd be some soapy goodness, right there.

Joimiaroxeu - maybe we can get Hanna to pray for that scene with us!  Excellent post all around. 

 

Thank goodness for you guys.  I am too embarrassed to let my friends/family know that I watch this drivel.

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I want to say that TP went for name recognition and/or dramatic effect with the Colombian/Medellin cartel thing and damn the logic, but then it still kind of implodes under its own weight.  If Julius is indeed the son of a cartel bigwig, what the hell is he doing in Ohio?

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Randal is disgusting to use his wife like that, and I can't believe Alex stood there and watched for as long as she did. Ugh, he was actually saying "I love you" to her through the window while his peen was inside his wife. On top of being angry, Marcie is going to be humiliated when she finds out about them because she'll for sure flash back to his kitchen performance.

 

A cop using a cell phone while driving, and while on duty? Eddie is quite the badass, isn't he? And I still don't understand why a patrol officer is allowed to have all that facial hair.

 

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. It's not smart to buy a house for yourself and a man you're not even engaged to, much less married. Especially if you can't afford the cost on your own. It's sad that she got dumped but she'd hardly be the first woman in history who's had that happen to her.

 

Natalie's kid just swings the front door open without even asking who it is? That's a recipe for trouble. Meanwhile, her younger children seem to be pretty close in age. Not trying to slut-shame but she said they all had different fathers so there must have been a period of time where she was getting knocked up left and right by everybody. Are two of those kids twins at least?

 

I wonder how many takes the actors do of each scene? I can see TP timing them and then going, "No, we still got eight minutes to fill. Do it again and talk slower. A lot slower." He really needs to take a screenwriting class. (Or hire a professional who knows how but doesn't mind letting TP take the credit. Oh wait, that's probably against union rules, which is the whole point of TP trying to do everything himself.) This show's sluggish pacing and circular, repetitive dialogue are simply horrible, just like with his other nighttime soap.

 

Sigh, ILYIW is like multi-vehicle freeway pileup for me. As awful as it is, I can't help but keep looking at it. I have no shame.

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Tyler always hires the prettiest thugs.  (That is all)

Edited by mjt626.
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Alex staring in I still don't know what the hell it was (shock?...envy?) at Randal banging her substitute, Marcie, through their kitchen windows was all kinds of wrong--let alone when Marcie herself came over and started crowing, in her unconsciously clueless way, about how much of an animal he was.  (In a fashion, Marcie's fall will be the longest and hardest of all when it comes.)  And the show would have been just fine if that had been the craziest thing to happen in this episode.  But then Travis, Kelly's distant-as-hell boyfriend Travis, got down on one knee--to ask her to be friends, because he met someone in Haiti and got engaged.  I have no doubt that was deliberately written, and we probably all knew it was coming...but as it was it was still an unbelievable moment of fuckery.  As in Jim Cryer being mobbed in THATHN level fuckery.

 

This episode was probably screwed by its preview from last week, though; I spent the whole thing just waiting for somebody to take that potshot at Edward, crappy as it was.  Even Edward going to Esperanza and declaring he still loved her and wanted her didn't help--it just reinforced how much he needs/needed to take a bullet, and so of course he didn't.  Flip side, I suppose I have to give TP a little credit: whereas all the crazies in THATHN are/were women, here they're both men.  And perhaps worse in certain ways.

Edited by Bill C..
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Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. It's not smart to buy a house for yourself and a man you're not even engaged to, much less married. Especially if you can't afford the cost on your own.

Unless there was some shenanigans at the bank that she works at, this isn't even possible.  Your mortagage can't be more than x-percent of your income.  Everytime she said something about depending on douchebag to help pay the mortgage, I praised TP once again for his "attention to detail".

"No, we still got eight minutes to fill. Do it again and talk slower. A lot slower."

My skip button goes in 30 second incremints, I can often skip  4 or 5 times in a conversation and not miss a thing.  Just a couple of more episodes and I'll be able to watch this whole show in about nine minutes flat.  (Which is still 8 1/2 more minutes that it deserves)

Edited by zillabreeze.
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Unless there was some shenanigans at the bank that she works at, this isn't even possible.  Your mortagage can't be more than x-percent of your income.  Everytime she said something about depending on douchebag to help pay the mortgage, I praised TP once again for his "attention to detail".

My skip button goes in 30 second incremints, I can often skip  4 or 5 times in a conversation and not miss a thing.  Just a couple of more episodes and I'll be able to watch this whole show in about nine minutes flat.  (Which is still 8 1/2 more minutes that it deserves)

 

I was super salty that TP made me focus on this to the distraction of everything else happening in the episode.  But, while it's true that (now) your mortgage can't  represent more than X percent of your income, it isn't impossible.  That was the whole wahala behind predatory lending practices and procedures that led to the real estate bubble bursting.  Banks were giving out money left and right to borrowers who were eligible but shouldn'tve been.  Sorry, I'm rambling.  I say all that to say, overborrowing/overlending is easier than it should be.

 

My mind wants to keep putting aside that when A Different World went off the air, Jasmine Guy was over 30 years old.   I don't know if it helps to know this but she had a no good low down dirty shame of a husband and a bout with lupus.  The haggard looks might make sense.

 

Back to Travis and Kelly for a sec - who the hell says I'm engaged to another woman, please don't be mad at me?  You know I'm actually proud of TP for his restraint.  In a true TP depiction, Kelly would've gone to get her cast iron skillet and that scene would've ended entirely differently lol.

 

Somebody please tell me the artistic reason that Esperanza must dress like a puta?    I did laugh when Marcie told Kelly she can't come to my party, she dresses too sex(il)y around my husband.   Ok, a) what does anybody have against adverbs?  and b) so you think she's at home checking the mirror for how she can appeal to your husband?  *facepalm*

 

Anytime anyone on this show gets on the phone, I can't help it, I look at my watch. 

 

The lady in the projects with a bunch of kids.  I haven't made up my mind yet, I don't know what I feel about her character.  But her baby favah? I wanna lap dance him.  Ya'll where've we seen that guy before?  And why is mad about the prospect that she could've had something to do with putting in a good word for him with Ed's boss?  Um, your woman lives in the projects and you're worried about pride?  P.S.  something else TP made me think on:  I thought there was only one way policemen get hired, what is this good word crap?

 

Sigh, ILYIW is like multi-vehicle freeway pileup for me. As awful as it is, I can't help but keep looking at it. I have no shame.

 

Girl, high five.  I'm embarrassed.

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This week:

 

Travis shows up and continues digging his own hole...er, tries to get Kelly to "understand" his situation.  He didn't mean to fall for Calista, but he did, and he still wants to be in Kelly's life because he still loves her, blah blah wafflecakes.  (By soap standards this is far and away the most traditional thing this fakakta show's doing.  That said: Ridge Forrester, Travis is not.)  Kelly puts him on blast for using her, which may well be true on some level since Calista's a virgin (i.e. TP's ongoing tic of writing men as weak).  She then goes to see his mommie dearest--her name, as per the credits, is Mattaline--who's still a little bit of a bitch to her, but strangely not as much as Kelly is to her at first.  And Mattaline makes an interesting, if staggeringly bitchy-helicopter-mom-ish, point.  Kelly is notably older than Travis, which AFAIK the show never mentioned before this; she never approved of Kelly being with Travis because, basically, she knew that Travis wasn't mature enough for her and would break her heart.  So now he's with someone his own age, and they can "make mistakes together," and Kelly should be grateful for being saved the endless trauma.  Yeeeeah.

 

Natalie's son Joey runs into the obligatory pal from the 'hood, who wants him to get back into the drug game.  For the moment, however, he says no.  This will likely only last until, if I'm predicting things correctly, he somehow screws up the job at Burger Fast he's about to get (Natalie's co-worker Jackie is sweet on him, so she suggests to Natalie's boss in this episode that Joey come to work there; Natalie's not crazy about that idea).

 

Lushion finds out that, for all intents, the reason Edward recommended him for a job with the Maxine PD was because he wanted a POC (he actually says this to Lushion) backing him up on the street.  Your facepalm here.  This occurs between his utterly failing to talk Yolanda down after the drive-by Julius ordered (by the way, Edward married her for money...shocker) and Julius himself showing up at the PD to actually put the fear of God into him.  Julius apparently has a hands-off flag on his record courtesy of the FBI, which confirms his cartel status.  Later, a panicky Edward shows up at Esperanza's begging for information on Julius before he  shows up and they get into a fight on her front lawn.

 

And poor in-the-dark Brad convinces Randal and Marcie to come over for game night with him and Alex.  Randal gets to choose the game, so of course it's one of those risque truth-or-dare card games and Marcie's a little tipsy and into it and Alex freaks out (managing to blame it on Randal and Marcie's libidos being on full display).  This would've been just fine if not for the promo for next week's episode.

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"We always look to the spouse or the ex?" What kind of sense does that make? With a cop it could be anyone trying to take him out, in particular people he's previously arrested or their associates. I wonder if this is another case of TP not doing proper research.

 

All this time I was thinking Esperanza was a stripper. Anyways...how is it that she didn't know Eddie had been shot at? You'd think either he would have told her already, or it would have been all over the news, or the dispatchers would have mentioned it as soon as she came into work.

 

Geez, people on this show are bad about showing up at their friends' jobs just to babble about personal stuff. Don't they have phones or email accounts?

 

Brad seems to know about the affair. At the little couples' get together he was mindfcuking Randal and Alex something awful. It was hilarious, with the bonus of clueless Marcie getting in on the fun. And speaking of crazypants Randal, how is it that he's a psychologist?  Did he get his PhD off the back of a matchbook?

 

I thought that conversation between Kelly and  Mattaline ("Whitney") was well-written given the topic. "You're an old ho, my son's a dog but still trainable, and I'm putting him back on the leash." "Thanks for letting me know. And oh, maybe you should check a mirror before you start calling somebody an old ho, biatch." Plus, Travis was a virgin when he first got with Kelly? Unless he was underage, I'm not sure that 's believable.

 

Dare I say that this show is getting slightly better? Like "moved up from a D+ to a C-" better.

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It's almost a sliding scale with this show and THATHN, thanks to our recurring bugaboos (the staging, the circular conversations).

 

This week:

 

Kelly outs her relationship woes to Marcie, since she now has to sell her adorable yellow house, and due to an inevitable jumped conclusion regarding Marcie swearing to keep it a secret she reveals it to the rest of the gals later.  This occurs across two scenes, and is probably noteworthy for two reasons: very likely the best acting so far in the entire damn show courtesy of Edwina Findley, who nailed Kelly's weary and teary angst, and Marcie finally getting her warning radar to ping about Randal due to Kelly telling her how she should have seen the signs and so on about Travis.  (Of course this happened after the opening scene, where Randal was kind of a dick to Marcie about her suspicions that he "changed" six months ago...)  The second scene, which also served as a girl-power moment--and would have stuck the landing if not for the oppressively sugar-sweet "happy ending/lesson" music accompanying it--also gave us Alex freaking just a little about Marcie's suspicions...

 

Which brings us to the episode's other biggie: after being a dick to his wife, Randal went and texted Alex about the whole game night thing and wanting to meet her in THE SHED (by virtue of what's happened in it, it's one up over the one from Passions).  This is also notable for the fact that both Randal and Alex use pseudonyms when texting each other, which bizarrely is both incredibly smart and incredibly stupid.  Anyway, she shuts him down via text...and then, in the middle of the night with Brad sleeping next to her, she gets the fever for the flavor of a stalker and goes down to THE SHED for a quickie.  OTOH, this is also the scene where Alex admits she loves Randal and is guilty as hell about it (more so later, where Kelly's bemoaning Travis saying he loves two people).  But the big thing about it is that Brad, after being woken up by his and Alex's daughter, initially can't find Alex--and when she pops up, saying she was in the kids' bathroom, he randomly checks it himself.  And finds the toilet seat up.  At least they didn't dun-dun-dun! us there.

 

In the "meanwhile..." category: Joey indeed gets a job at Burger Fast, which he's soooo not happy about.  And it probably would have gotten the proper response of "You jerk" if it wasn't accompanied by Natalie quiet-angry-black-woman-ing him about what to do and not to do (OTOH, Jackie lampshaded this by saying Nat was "too damn loud").  And Edward, reliably bitchy Edward, blames Esperanza for starting the whole him-and-Julius thing...not that she's not pretty enough to be a catalyst, but it still pales before his and Randal's crazy.

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Poor Brad. You've know you've got a sad life when you have to apologize to your wife for inviting her lover and his wife over for dinner. Meanwhile, Randal and Alex are just begging to get caught. Who goes out to work in their shed in the middle of the night? They could have at least turned the overhead light out.

 

"There's a monster in my bedroom! Where's Mommy?" Um, there's a monster in Mommy too, kid. Also, are Brad and Alex's children adopted? The little girl looks like she  might be part Hispanic or Native American while neither Alex nor Brad seem to be of mixed heritage. Hmmm, maybe Mommy's cheated before...

 

The guy who plays Randal should ease up on whatever body-enhancing substances he might be on. His neck is almost wider than his head.

 

That is good casting for Natalie's son. He actually looks a lot like her.

 

Esperanza must have had a real shark for a divorce attorney because that's a very nice house her ex Eddie is apparently having trouble paying for. In fact, I wonder how he affords those two nice homes on a patrol cop's salary unless he's taking a couple of illicit payments under the table.

 

OMG, that big pity party at Kelly's house was one of the most awkwardly staged things I've seen in a while. Those women didn't seem at all like they'd been friends for ages. They seemed to me like strangers who'd been cast in a cheap reality show and were reciting scripted lines. Oh, wait...

 

On preview: Comeuppance for crazypants Eddie or is he going to get jumped into the gang?

 

    her adorable yellow house

With that odd siding I thought it looked like a gingerbread house. I guess it would sort of fit with Kelly's fairy-tale imaginings of how a long-distance relationship with a much younger mama's boy was likely to work.

 

It's been a slow build but I find myself actually looking forward to this show now. I guess that's another step up from freeway-car pile-up status.

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Are you/we looking forward to it because it's a good show, though, or because we can't wait to see what fuckery Tyler Perry unleashes on us each week?  :)

 

With that odd siding I thought it looked like a gingerbread house. I guess it would sort of fit with Kelly's fairy-tale imaginings of how a long-distance relationship with a much younger mama's boy was likely to work.

 

That's actually a very interesting thought.  It does look like a dollhouse of sorts, and Kelly was all about her dream of playing house with Travis in it before he nuked it from orbit.  Is/was TP actually that...subtle?

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Esperanza must have had a real shark for a divorce attorney because that's a very nice house her ex Eddie is apparently having trouble paying for. In fact, I wonder how he affords those two nice homes on a patrol cop's salary unless he's taking a couple of illicit payments under the table.

 

 

 

I was under the impression Eddie is paying for the house with the rich new wife's money and that is why he married the rich bitch, to enjoy her daddy's money. He obviously can't stand her. 

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Who walks around in their house wearing stiletto heels while they do housework? Marcie does! Meanwhile, Randal's arguing skills are kinda sad for a guy who's a trained psychologist. His best comeback seems to be basically, "Nuh, uh."

Marcie, Marcie, Marcie. I don't know who's more naïve, you or crazypants "some day my prince will come home" Kelly. You seem more likely to pull a gun on your cheating husband though. (And are we to assume that Alex wears perfume on her forehead?)

Oh no he di'int. Travis is lucky he's got a rich mommy because the boy is a dim bulb. Who brings the new fiancée to meet the scorned ex unless they're just trying to create some unnecessary drama?

Alex is hilarious. Guess she needs to start keeping a literal fcuking day planner so she can keep her potential impregnators straight.

Esperanza definitely goes for a certain look because her two men look like they could be brothers. And if this were a real soap opera, that's exactly how things would turn out: Julius' papi screwed Eddie's mami back in the day and they've been half brothers all along!

Well now, who didn't see that robbery coming? Hope the restaurant has security cameras or Natalie's newly paroled son might be going back to prison. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to put Joey in such a vulnerable position since he's still got his former gang buddies to deal with.

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If not for the scenes with Natalie phoning in to work and Joey forgetting to set the alarm there, a case could be made that Kelly post-breakup is absolutely ganking the Hanna-analogue title from her.  Not that Travis, the stupid lunk, didn't deserve all the soap-cliche venom she was spitting at him--seriously, only a soap character would bring his fiancee over to see his ex immediately (or nearly so) after their breakup thinking they could all be friends.  That said, Natalie's inevitable bitch fit over the robbery will restore the natural order of things.

 

Marcie, meanwhile...Kelly at least was in the dark about Travis due in part to distance.  Marcie is crossing over into delusion as of this episode, if a somewhat believable delusion, and it continues to spell out her fall being worst of all when everything comes out.  (And since we don't have a crazypants lady on the show yet, well...)

 

The whole thing with Edward, Julius (you're absolutely right, Joimiaroxeu: Esperanza does seem to have a visual type--meatheads) and Julius's cartel overlord dad was okay, considering its real point was simply to escalate the brewing feud between the two.  Funny that in that one scene the guy playing Mr. Overlord did more actual acting than a good chunk of the cast.

 

I do love that this show does have more money behind it than THATHN, though.  Alex trying to puzzle out the dates of her infidelities, accompanied by a series of floating CGI Post-its?  That was some awesomely bad schlock right there.

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(And since we don't have a crazypants lady on the show yet, well...)

You're right, this show doesn't a crazypants female character on the level of THATHN'S Amanda--yet. However, I'd argue that much of Kelly's behavior has been in the nutbag-ish neighborhood and it's even effecting her kid. (She's allowed him to think Travis is his father; why tell your kid a lie like that?) I think she redeemedherself to a large extent last night though when she ripped Travis to shreds. Maybe the fairy tale is finally over.

 

Now Marcie, sigh. There are none so blind as those who will not see. She needs to sit down for a cup of coffee with Brad so the two of them can compare the similar oddities they're seeing with their respective spouses. I still think Brad knows about the affair but is just effing with Alex and Randal until one of them cracks or the kid is born.

Edited by Joimiaroxeu.
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I haven't seen the episode yet, but I knew the restaurant would be robbed. Just wasn't sure of the circumstances.

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How many times did Kelly ask/tell Travis to leave with her finger pointed to the door? Leave now. Please leave. I need you to leave. You have to leave. That Tyler Perry really has a knack for writing. 

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This week:

 

Charles Whitfield (Lushion) damn near carried this episode.  Lushion got to run interference for Natalie with Mr. Kim, the owner of Burger Fast, to keep her from being fired after the robbery came out; and he ran interference for Joey and Natalie when she went full-on angry black woman on his stone-faced ass, right down to putting both of them on blast.  Seriously, if not for the utter lack of facial expressions on Joey's face, this would probably have been the best/strongest scenes so far of this damn show (and I'm still inclined to give it the nod merely for shutting Natalie the hell up).

 

Edward does his usual "You're mine, bitch" thing with Esperanza, who's all about earning herself some of her own money.  He also invokes "Test me!", which is the last nail in the coffin of any seriousness he might have had left.  We've already got two angry black women on this show, we don't need a third.

 

And Marcie's fall starts in earnest thanks to Randal and Bluetooth connectivity, since she sees him texting "Peppa" on his phone via his desktop PC.  It's funny that they explained this after the fact, like with her smelling Alex's perfume on his shirt last week...I'm debating whether this is laziness or TP trying to be subtle about Marcie always being a little behind the curve.

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I just can't get over Esperanza having an actual responsible job that doesn't involve sliding headfirst down a pole while leering men throw dollar bills at her. Why does she dress like she's about to go on the stroll?

 

Maybe fast Eddie could keep his daughter at nights if he thinks she's not safe in "the ghetto." Oh wait, Eddie has South American gangsters doing drive-bys on his house. Never mind. (And oh my, that was quite a nice strut Eddie did in those tight jeans. Thank you, TP.)

 

What a sad home gym setup Randal has. You'd think he'd at least have a TV in there so he could watch it while he's on the treadmill.

 

Blank-faced Brad is so onto the two cheaters. It was funny when he was talking to Randal about trying out different positions with Alex as a birthday present. But yikes, French's mustard is not a good color for him. In fact, I'm not sure it's a good color for anybody.

 

Why would Brad have his IMs to his mistress also go to his desktop computer? Did he want Marcie to see them "accidentally"? Lame.

 

Natalie's on the verge of getting fired and her son may be about to get arrested but she's got time to be sitting around chugging wine and schmoozing with the girls? Ok then. But oh boy did a big anvil drop during that scene. Alex's baby may come out looking like Brad's kid but is slowly going to start looking like, um, some Black guy's baby. DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN!

 

So how does Kelly know that Alex is "Peppa"?

 

We've already got two angry black women on this show, we don't need a third.

Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark. Poor Eddie's only got two speeds: fifth gear and rocket thrust.

 

I'm debating whether this is laziness or TP trying to be subtle about Marcie always being a little behind the curve.

Does "a little behind the curve" translate to "generally obtuse" because I'm fairly tech savvy and I don't get the point of having private IMs mirrored on his desktop either unless he uses his desktop to archive them. Now about the scented shirttails, IMO that flat out didn't make any sense unless--as I commented last week--we're to assume that Alex wears perfume on her forehead. I don't blame Marcie for being confused about that and I think was oddly specific plot point for TP to have used.

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I despise the Eddie character but damn he is fine as hell. Who is this actor and has anybody ever seen him in other roles?

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Edward is played by one Joel Rush.  Like just about everybody on the show except Aidan Turner, I'd never heard of him until he popped up in the show...though I still persist that he may be the most committed actor in the thing unless Charles Whitfield keeps on stepping up like he did this week.  (Or Edwina Findley's Kelly finally snaps.)

 

Blank-faced Brad is so onto the two cheaters.

 

I'm not so sure, Joimiaroxeu.  This is a big enough bombshell that they would have alluded more openly to Brad being clued in, or even being highly suspicious of his wife at a bare minimum, and apart from the episode two weeks back that hasn't happened.  I don't trust TP to be that subtle, basically; why would Brad keep that knowledge a secret versus either going to Marcie or, more likely, punching Randal's head off his nonexistent neck?

 

Does "a little behind the curve" translate to "generally obtuse" because I'm fairly tech savvy and I don't get the point of having private IMs mirrored on his desktop either unless he uses his desktop to archive them.

 

I'm going to give them wiggle room on that one since it's indeed a thing (though it involves web browsers, at least from some quick research).  Randal works from home, and he probably wants to be absolutely sure he gets all his work-related texts and whatnot--so he has them relayed, basically, to his home PC.  Of course, he was then colossally stupid (as was Alex) by using his own cellphone for texting "Peppa."  Speaking of which...

 

So how does Kelly know that Alex is "Peppa"?

 

I have no idea, and the preview for next week's season finale dropping that bombshell kind of ticked me off.  I'm hoping she just makes some kind of logic jump to get there based on her own experiences with Travis, because anything else will likely come off as overly plot-mandated/stupid.

 

Now about the scented shirttails, IMO that flat out didn't make any sense unless--as I commented last week--we're to assume that Alex wears perfume on her forehead.

 

I've still got nothing for that, at least as it was shown.  I guess they really didn't want to have Marcie sniffing Alex's throat, which probably should have been the place she went first when she smelled it on Alex.  The perfume otherwise ending up on the bottom of Randal's shirt, though...they've alluded to him and Alex having fairly vigorous sex, so that at least gets a pass.

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The first-season finale (and we've got four months to wait for S2) didn't have a major cliffhanger moment, but it didn't suffer for lack of it...

 

The biggie, of course, was Marcie's meltdown over Randal's affair with "Peppa"--and Kelly sussing out that Peppa was Alex, due in part to the "Peppa" bumper sticker on Alex's car (yup, never explained until this episode and retroactively) and Alex's crappy poker face.  Heather Hemmens did a good job with Marcie's freakouts, plural, even if it veered hard into unintentional comedy gold at the end; Marcie realized that Alex was the other woman thanks to a veiled nudge from Kelly (who had basically said to Alex that the whole thing was her problem and she didn't want to be involved--yeah, that lasted right about forty minutes), broke into a dead sprint, dashed into her house and upstairs, and damn near hurdled Randal's desk to get at him.  Randal, for his part, was all stereotypical jerk about the whole thing earlier when she confronted him about it.

 

Kelly, meanwhile, got a visit from ever-clueless "I still love you" Travis.  With flowers, even, and still trying his Ridge Forrester best to make her understand how hard this is for and on him.  Kelly, at least, shut him down cold and he finally went "Okay, fine, I'm gone."

 

Joey took a step into the light, if not a smart one: he suspected that his pal Quan was or knew the guys who robbed Burger Fast, so he confronted him about it.  Which ended up becoming Joey punching Quan the hell out and taking the money out of his pocket, and going straight to Burger Fast to "return" it.  Natalie wasn't crazy about him taking the money from a drug dealer, and there's still a chance it could get him shot, but Joey's stonefaced ass wasn't having it.

 

Edward apparently assembles his own "army" of off-duty cops, including Lushion, to eventually deal with Julius.  Brad tries to talk him down (as does Lushion, in a different way; he urges Edward to talk to a therapist about his experiences in Iraq earlier, guessing he's packing some...issues) and fails, though in so doing he's clued in to the whole cartel thing.  At least Edward is consistently macho-idiot.

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Seriously, Natalie's solution to a cheating husband is to "bust him upside his head" with a bottle? Nothing subtle about that stereotype.

 

First of all, Alex honey, ever heard of a burner phone? And how about not having your fake cheater name right on your car! Like Usher sang, you should have been more smart about it.

 

Randal: You went through my emails? How dare you! I hate when people go through my emails!

Marcie: Yeah, well, you know what I hate? I hate when my husband sticks it in another woman and then comes home and sticks it me!

Randal: Poo on you, I'm gonna go hide in the bathroom for a few hours.

 

Oh come on, Lushion. Who does like being wrong? Stop trying to act like you're dispensing the wisdom of Solomon like some low-rent Yoda.

 

Wait, what? Quan was just hanging around in the projects with $3,800 in his pocket? And without a gun? Yeah, right.

 

Man, Marcie's in good shape. The way she leaped up on Randal's desk was impressive. Not sure I'd be fighting with somebody near the top of a staircase though.

 

I feel kinda meh about this episode as a season finale. IMO there was only one interesting cliffhanger, and it was Marcie figuring out who Randal was cheating with and going the eff off. Too bad she's already tipped her hand in such a big way.

 

There hasn't been enough drama built up for me to care about Joey the parolee with a target on his back; or Kelly the scorned woman (but she does need to tell her son the truth about Travis); or Eddie the PTSD-suffering gangster wannabe who thinks his crew of what looked suburban dads who shop at Target can take on a South American crime cartel. But whatever, I'm up for season two of this mess.

 

(who had basically said to Alex that the whole thing was her problem and she didn't want to be involved--yeah, that lasted right about forty minutes)

A drinking game based on the words "look more closely" would have been a killer. Literally.

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Yeah, Kelly told Marcie to "look closely" six times or thereabouts...I was wondering what the in-show promo with the #lookclosely hashtag in it meant before that last scene hit.  For this show, that was rather oblique.

 

Seriously, Natalie's solution to a cheating husband is to "bust him upside his head" with a bottle? Nothing subtle about that stereotype.

 

Natalie, in fairness, is about as subtle as a pickup truck.  I do wonder if she's the most stereotypical character on the show, though (or possibly sharing the crown with, yes, Edward).

 

There hasn't been enough drama built up for me to care about Joey the parolee with a target on his back; or Kelly the scorned woman (but she does need to tell her son the truth about Travis); or Eddie the PTSD-suffering gangster wannabe who thinks his crew of what looked suburban dads who shop at Target can take on a South American crime cartel. But whatever, I'm up for season two of this mess.

 

I agree about Joey, though in that case it's partially filtered through his perpetual stone face and at least gains some unintentional comedy.  It doesn't help that his story by default is half about Natalie, and she's...exhausting.  Edward's story is ironically the only one that approaches the Randal/Alex affair buildup-wise, but that's exhausting in a different and more THATHN-ish way; we're all stuck waiting for him to get his for being a reckless asshole, and it doesn't happen, and it still doesn't happen, and it just gets a little old.

 

And having said all that: I'll be right there with you passing the e-popcorn when this hot mess comes back in March.  Witches of East End is gone, and I need to get my schlock from somewhere.

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Anybody watching this?  I thought the first eppy of the season was juicy as hell, flaws and all !!  

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I watched the Season 2 opener.  I missed Season 1 but watched the recaps online.  They just put S1 episodes On Demand so I've watched the first four episodes before the start of the new season.  

 

I am not usually a soap watcher but here I am watching this show.  I thought it was crazy how everyone just assumed it was Kelly even though she doesn't live next door.  Randall was extra bold and deranged but it will be interesting to see how this plays out now that everyone knows.

 

Lastly, those have to be the worst extras (as far as what they were required to do) I've seen at the birthday party.  Between the announcements and all at the party, the extra weren't even attempting to interact with what was going on.

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I'm watching! I stumbled upon this beautiful disaster last summer and now I am back for more. Randall was just too thirsty for words.

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Oh this show is driving me nuts. Firstly, the friends all gathering around the pregnant cheater and pledging their support, meanwhile what about their other friend who just found out her husband was cheating on her with said pregnant friend? Secondly, pregnant wife asking her husband to talk to her....I am saying, talk to you about what? You cheated on HIM. You talk! Thirdly, the guy who left his girlfriend and married someone else, is still begging this season. Why can't he stay away from her door asking her what? What does his dumb arse want? The people I dislike on this show the most is the pregnant woman and her next door neighbor that she cheated with. It's funny, I watched all of season 1 and I don't know any of their names; that's why I didn't mention any names in my comments. The acting seems wooden. I dunno, maybe it's me. (Sigh) Don't know if I am going to stick with this.

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Yea, what about Marci? Also, when the two friends thought it was Kelly that was cheating with Marci's husband they were all over her ass. Why does Alex get a pass from them? I hope Alex's husband does move out, if he takes her back, I'm so done with this stupid show. Oh, and I don't think the baby is his. Remember the vasectomy he secretly had, no mention of that anymore, so it's hard for me to believe he would think for one second that the baby is his. 

Edited by bichonblitz.
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"Is he bigger than me?"

 

I literally did a double take when Brad asked that.

 

I have no idea why the women are comforting Alex rather than Marci. That makes no sense. I don't think they're going to have Alex make a "mistake" on her sex calendar that would be too dumb even for this show. Maybe she slept with someone else or a Jane the Virgin style unlikely pregnancy.

 

The main cast is mediocre, but the lack of acting talent really shows when there are day players, like the party guests or the "thugs."

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It is my understanding (I can't believe that I am even attempting to break down this show, but...) that the rest of the ladies really weren't so close to Marci. Marci and Alex were best friends (shady!!!) and Alex introduced Marci to the group when Kelly was looking to buy the gingerbread house for her and Travis. I think that's why the rest of the ladies were all "ride or die" with Alex. The only other person that Marci opened up to was Kelly because they were both being cheated on. Kelly, in turn, felt sorry for Marci and gave her the clues to Peppa's identity.

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They must not have done much publicity for the return of this show; I just found out it was back on. The first episode did not disappoint but by the second one I think some of the old problems seen in the first season starting returning, that is, circular dialogue and scenes that go on for too long.

 

Nah, I'm having a hard time believing Brad didn't know about Alex and Randal, mostly based on his previous coy behavior and comments.

 

LOL, Eddie the cop is aiding and abetting a potential murder? OMG, this show.

 

The actress who plays Alex has upped her game since last season. I thought she was really powerful in that confrontation scene with Brad. And Aiden Turner is a veteran soap actor so it stands to reason that he knew how to bring it in a highly melodramatic scene. Bravo to both of them. (But yet again, that scene probably could have been quite a bit shorter and still accomplished what it was intended to do.)

 

"Is he bigger than me?" And she answered him! Yikes, if ever there was a time to be less than honest, that was it. Brad might have gotten over the affair eventually but he'll never get past knowing that he's smaller than the guy who was screwing his wife, especially since it was his supposed "best friend." Wonder if Marcie will ever be seen again?

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So I dumped the other TP show, The Haves..., because I was bored to tears with the boring dialog. Here I am again.. But dear jeebus, what planet does TP live on that there are no re-runs of Law & Order?

Doesn't every one of us couch taters know that a domestic violence call is THE Most dangerous call for cops? But these guys happy ass in with their damn hands in their pockets???

And don't get me started on the 911 operator calling the neighbors.....how many protocols did she break? Why is she even employed? Oh "let me just alert the testosterone overloaded neighbors to go next door and get in the middle of shit"

I ask why it is taking up space in the DVR, and all I can figgger is that I can walk away, empty the dishwasher or scrub a john and come back and not feel the need to rewind, cause I haven't missed squat!

.

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OMG, worst episode in TV history last night!  Too much with the kids issues. Leave them alone. Who cares? I want to see some beat downs and some cheating.... Alex and Brad weren't even on at all. I do not want to see Kelly get back together with that mama's boy if that's where this is headed. And the cop, forgot his name. So gorgeous, but he can't act for shit.  

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This show.....I can't. Kick Alex's ass out. Next door neighbor gets an "A" in the bedroom and hubby gets a "D or F?" Did she really say that?. I don't know if it is the actual words or the delivery by the actors but this show stinks. Actions are not realistic and I am not feeling it. Did u see the look on Randall's face when Alec told him to leave her alone? I was hysterically laughing. His face looked like "what u mean leave u alone. After all I did for you. I'm a "a" remember?" Of course, he said nothing because he had no lines, just stand there with a wtf look on his face. I think I will just come on here and listen to you guys tell how it ended because surely they are not getting another season out of this mess.

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FFS, Eddie does coke while on duty and while he's driving. Seriously? Is TP trying to do some low rent version of Training Day? Sorry but the guy playing Eddie is no Denzel Washington.

 

Hmm, looks like "Whitley" had some work done during the show's mid-season hiatus. Her face looked amazingly, um, refreshed. But Kelly girl, you need to run fast and far away from that nutbag and her son the mama's boy.

 

LOL, Brad. Did he stay there all night swinging that ax at Randal's boat? No wonder his shirt was all sweated out. And poor Brad if he thinks Eddie is his friend. Eddie the thug is going to "help" him right into a murder rap, or at least an attempted one.

 

Randal has weird ears. He looks like he might have some Vulcan genes. Maybe he's a distant relative of Spock.

 

Alex's girlfriends are ridiculous. I know they feel like they need to support her but expecting Brad just to get over it is insane. His wife in all likelihood is carrying Randal's baby and he's supposed to pretend like everything's fine now that he knows about the affair? Meanwhile, I hope Marcie didn't sign a prenup and has enough of her own money to hire a shark divorce attorney.

 

Yeah, this show might possibly be the worst one on TV but it's like seeing a ten-car pileup on the freeway. You're horrified but you can't help but look.

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I hate every one of these awful people on this show except Marcie and the new cop (don't know his name). Eddie needs to get the shit beat out of him and as far as I'm concerned so does Alex. By the way, when exactly is she going to start looking pregnant? 

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That was a terrible episode! Where are the script writers? How many different ways did we have to hear the women say "No Brad."mixed with the 1970's bad porn music playing in the background and 8-10 secs gap of silence? 

I laughed at how fast those two women headed over to Alex's house after the 911 call. The editing is awful this season.

I was wondering when Alex was going to start showing this season. I thought they had her showing a bit at the end of season 1 already?

I had to fast forward during the a** Eddie driving then around in the car. They make him have too much hatred. They are making the actor look like an a**hle and not just the character he plays.

I want to see Alex's baby! With this acting it will take her 5 years to give birth!!

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Randal has weird ears. He looks like he might have some Vulcan genes. Maybe he's a distant relative of Spock.

That! and I can't stand his mouth and the weird way he works his lips.  Anyone that would cheat with the buttass ugly dude is crazy.  Especially when you're married to a hot dude with a sexy accent.

 

Alex. By the way, when exactly is she going to start looking pregnant?

Maybe around the time she washes her greasy ass hair and touches up those gawdawful roots.

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Brad had "visible panty lines". The wardrobe people need to fix that because it was distracting.

 

What justification did Eddie have to enter Randal and Marcie's house like he did? And with his gun drawn? He's such an idiot.

 

Marcie, you really didn't need to be getting behind the wheel of a car after taking several shots of alcohol. And ew, I hope Brad and Marcie came to their senses and didn't have sex. Why lower themselves to Alex and Randal's level? That won't fix anything.

 

This must have been another one of those times when TP didn't write enough dialogue to fill the 42 minutes. All that repetitive conversation and talking extra slow was the same MO we're accustomed to seeing on The Haves and the Have Nots.

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