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SnarkEnthusiast

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  1. Angie Tribeca

    I missed Giles a lot, through AJ was pretty good. I kept waiting for the reveal that he'd be coming back, so I was disappointed when Scholl's affair turned out to be with the VP. Jere Burns is a national treasure (pun intended).
  2. Floribama Shore

    LOL! In perhaps the only time I will half-assedly side with Nilsa, their conversation in the club was seemingly intentionally ambiguous on Gus' part. If you're justifiably horribly annoyed by someone, especially someone who can't take a hint, it's probably not a good idea to imply that there might be a chance with the whole "even though I want you to let me go deep down I'm not sure I want you to let me go." And he was digging his own grave by feeding her that honeymoon fantasy! I think a tiny part of him enjoys stringing her along to relish how much she regrets ignoring him last season. I think the problem is he's just too much of a narcissist and can't say no to the possibility of easy sex when he blows it with his conquest of the day, even if he is absolutely repulsed by Nilsa 98% of the time. But yes, she's obsessive and borderline predatory. I can't imagine being stuck living with someone like that for weeks. Having someone literally breathing down your neck and whining to initiate sex with you specifically when you're barely conscious sounds awful. Nilsa and her Marge Simpson makeup can have a stadium full of seats. Kirk somehow gets more unbelievably useless with every episode, which is saying something with this bunch. He does absolutely nothing and then bullies and gaslights the girls in particular while he's drunk. He just seems like a really nasty person with a lot of issues behind closed doors. I would have no desire to hang out with him, let alone get plastered with him on a daily basis. If Aimee is so horny, she should just fuck Kodi. Speaking of which, what happened to Kodi/Candace and Jeremiah/Kortni? They don't even seem to interact anymore. It's so funny watching these people get worked up over not being able to have sex with randos they met 3 hours ago.
  3. S04.E02: Super Girl Groups, Henny

    Farrah is pretty, but she strikes me as more of a fragile Gen Z Instagram queen than a hard-working, performance-based queen. She lives for likes and stranger validation online, but collapses when presented with any real world task or standards. She also bursts into tears at the slightest criticism. The extent of her drag viability is basically endless selfies and outfit posts with the occasional makeup tutorial.
  4. Floribama Shore

    Nilsa is 110 levels of cringe. I felt vindicated when Gus said Aimee and Kodi should be a couple. Exactly, they're the same person! But Kodi strikes me as one of those douches who refuses to date chubby girls despite being chubby himself. What happened to Jeremiah? Even if Kortni was being obnoxiously pouty and overdramatic, him calling her a bitch was clearly mean spirited and not playful. If a guy I had feelings for called me a bitch the second he got annoyed, that'd be a major red flag or at the very least a total turnoff. Her "love profession" made him turn into an irritable, misogynistic high school boy. But she's the one who propositioned him and he doesn't even want her apparently. so I don't know why he's acting weird and butthurt. That middle aged woman should've won the twerking contest. Since when is giving the judge a lapdance the basis of scoring? Sleazy as fuck.
  5. MAFS: Happily Ever After? S01. E08

    After seeing Bobby and Danielle in the finale, I'm beginning to think their entire storyline is made up by producers. Danielle is still annoying as fuck, but they seemed warm and affectionate on the couch (RIP) and like a normal couple after barely smiling all season. It's like someone yelled cut and they went back to just hanging out, whereas the previews made it look like Bobby was fuming over the move and on the verge of verbal altercation. So is Bobby actually starved for affection, or is that just their canned scripted conflict? Nothing is fake about the Shawniece/Jephte debacle though. Watching the experts pressure Jephte to magically make himself attracted to Shawniece is painful, as is watching Shawniece desperately try to convince him to love her. You can't rekindle what was never there. It's not like they're high school sweethearts who've hit a rough patch after 20 years ; he never loved her and will always be apathetic/have a wandering eye because he thinks he deserves someone hotter. He liked the attention and convenient sex, that's it. The baby just makes him feel temporarily obligated to stay, but he'll be trolling for his dream light skinned Instagram models in no time.
  6. S07.E30: Eye to Eye

    I'm sure Ryder will appreciate the mental image of her dad barely lasting two minutes during her conception. Cate and Ty both need to shit or get off the pot with this separation nonsense. I hate Cate, but understand her frustration: if Tyler's so desperate to get away, why stall? She's going to be in her last trimester soon and it's a lot harder to justify living apart but still being together while you have a newborn. YOU chose to separate during the pregnancy, so do it while she's still pregnant! Tyler is shitty for not caring how him moving out will affect Nova, especially after watching her develop mommy issues during the retreats ; Cate is shitty for shutting down and turning on the tears when Tyler rightfully brought up the hypocrisy of everyone cheerleading her abandoning her life every 3 months because "it's for mental health" but shaming him the second he talks about his own needs. They both just need to get away from each other.
  7. MAFS: Happily Ever After? S01. E07

    Very respectfully disagree! There's no way Shawniece and especially her mom would tolerate Mr. Delusional Quarterlife Crisis openly parading 20-year-old self-proclaimed Instagram models around, especially with small kids. More likely Shawniece will wind up with chlamydia and discover Jephte's secret Tinder profile. I don't get his logic. So he thinks Shawniece is just going to put up with him staring dead eyed into the void of their forcibly loveless marriage for 15 or 25 years out of spite to make sure HIS (not their) kids won't grow up in a divorced household? Shawniece is just an empty vessel to fulfill his idealized fantasy of fatherhood and nothing else.
  8. S07.E29: Mixed Feelings

    I think Cate takes issue with the fact that the separation is obviously a direct commentary on her and her failings as a spouse, whereas the retreats are always about mental illness or triggers, which can be blamed on Cate's ever-expanding list of traumas from age 4 to 26. Tyler's only issue is HER and what a black hole of narcissism and self-coddling she's become. Cate is well-aware of this. Also her faux-intellectual weaponized therapy speak. What's future tripping???
  9. MAFS: Happily Ever After? S01. E07

    This episode just further confirmed why Bobby and Shawniece should be together. Danielle and Jephte and two sides of the same shitty, emotionally unavailable coin. I also don't think it's a coincidence that both Danielle and Jephte display so much uncharacteristic love and affection for their dogs. You aren't really accountable to your pets. They're delighted by the bare minimum of attention and don't hold grudges. There's not really any reciprocity there. For people who are naturally emotionally withholding, dogs are great because they basically reward and validate you for existing, which in turn, feeds your ego. In Jephte's scenario, infants are also incredibly needy, but especially in the newborn phase when they don't really have a personality, it's easy to conceptualize them as an accessory or a literal extension of yourself, again feeding your own narcissism. Notice how quickly he ranked Laura above his own siblings who he served as a father figure to specifically because she's HIS and a part of HIM. He and Danielle are two vapid, walking egos. I feel like we've watched Bobby go through 15 years of a deteriorating marriage in five minutes. There is already so much festering resentment there. I think he's one of those people who is so desperate to be in love, they will overlook any red flags or unhappiness to romanticize the concept of having a spouse, regardless if the person is actually a good fit for them. The homespun dates, the pregnancy journal, the surprise proposal… It all reads like stuff a hopeless romantic saw in romcoms. He had obviously been dreaming of doing stuff like that for years. Danielle's blank expression in response to every grand gesture just underscores the fact that Bobby is still operating according to an ideal and not the reality, and rightfully so because his reality is apparently massively underwhelming. I empathize with Bobby a lot because our love languages are similar and I've also put tons of effort into people who could care less. With that said, I also recognize when to cut my losses and throw in the towel. He's painful to watch because he continues to eagerly throw himself against the same brick wall and convince himself that his emotional deprivation is par for the course. I couldn't imagine realizing I have now impregnated and committed to raise a child with someone who literally can't stomach any level of intimacy or affection towards me. He keeps thinking his increasingly unjustified infatuation with her is going to win her over, when it's actually just digging himself into a deeper hole.
  10. Catelynn (and Tyler)

    Trying to justify your dead relationship in one tweet lol. This is on the same level as Cate's inane "we're the only original teen couple still together which means our love is the strongest" argument. Halfheartedly trying to make yourself feel better with made up superiority complexes or by bragging about things that are basic principles of most relationships ("We haven't broken up yet! We're monogamous!") doesn't make your relationship better than anyone else's or even healthy. Newsflash: if your only source of pride in your relationship comes from putting down others, you shouldn't be in it. Tyler's felt trapped and wanted out for years, so he copes by convincing himself he's a better person for staying with Cate and those who break up are "weak" or not actually committed to their partner or "the concept of marriage," which is twisted in unhappy situations to mean some form of masochistic self-denial and passive acceptance of constant negative emotions because they made a vow or whatever. But staying in a crappy marriage doesn't win you any gold stars of self-discipline, he's just wasting his own youth being voluntarily miserable. This tweet sounds like it came on the heels of a particularly rocky therapy session. I'm guessing Tyler and/or the therapist suggested trying to see other people and Cate freaked out. Also...is he trying to claim monogamous couples are some kind of stigmatized or persecuted minority? When everyone over 25 is endlessly questioned about marriage and anyone in a romantic arrangement that's non-monogamous or more than 2 monogamous people is labelled a kinky nymphomaniac freak? LOL!
  11. Catelynn (and Tyler)

    Teasing your separation and possible divorce as clickbait is some weird, self-cannibalizing PR.
  12. Ryan: What the hell happened to him?

    Exactly, triggers are to help YOU improve your own life with better coping strategies, not a mandate for everyone else to restructure their lives based on what triggers you.
  13. MAFS: Happily Ever After? S01. E06

    Yeah, Jephte used Twitter backlash against him in his season as an excuse for "needing to do his own thing," i.e stroking his...ego in other women's vaginas while they were separated. I think she must have found out she was pregnant right before or during the separation. I'm guessing she was especially angry with him because they probably never discussed whether or not they were going to see other people and she assumed they weren't. Not even taking the pregnancy into account, that situation is always awkward because the one who stayed loyal during the break always feels betrayed, but it's not really like you can correct it once it's done. Even if he felt guilty enough and gave her a free pass to go have a one night stand, she wouldn't take him up on it and then it raises the whole issue of "well you wouldn't care if I slept with someone else? You wouldn't be jealous?" Etc. and there's no right answer. He must have really fucked up to not make a peep about her refusing to even kiss him for five months. Makes you wonder about the exact circumstances and timing of the infidelity. This season is basically "the Ballad of Bobby's Penis." I swear, if I have to hear about Danielle's nausea one more time. I agree with everyone else that I think she's using her supposed all day morning sickness to get out of chores and sex. I didn't get the after dinner scene – how can you simultaneously be vomiting and over full? she just wanted to go to bed LOL. Also, I feel like everyone is overlooking all of the other sex acts you could do beyond intercourse. I get feeling too sick, but if it were me, I would start to feel worried that my partner would think I wasn't attracted to them or that I was single-handedly killing the marriage. If it really has been months, a handjob would take no time at all (lmao) and wouldn't involve rigorous physical activity or tempting your gag reflex. Then again, I think about other people, which Danielle does not seem capable of doing. I'm 100% fully on board with a fantasy Shawniece/Bobby pairing.
  14. Ryan: What the hell happened to him?

    Didn't Jen and Larry decide Maci was Ryan's trigger as a way to bully her out of demanding Ryan pass a drug test before he could see Bentley? As if she had to just do whatever they said or else they'd blame any drug use entirely on her. Jen/Larry and especially Cate have totally bastardized the meaning of the word trigger. They overuse it so much to render it virtually meaningless. It's become a catchall buzzword to control everyone around you and avoid accountability for your actions or the impact they have on other people. As I understand it, identifying something as your trigger is just supposed to help you understand your emotional response and strategize how you can cope better when you're faced with that scenario in the real world. It is NOT a free pass to demand everyone walk on egg shells around you or to justify avoiding your responsibilities, especially to your young child. Notice when Cate or Ryan don't like something, it immediately becomes a trigger so that they can indefinitely put it off/use their mental illness or addiction to antagonize anyone who challenges them. People corrupt the concept to guilt trip their family/friends/spouses Into doing everything the exact way they specify, or else fear the consequences. There's always an unspoken "...and then I might overdose!" or "...and then I might become suicidal!" dangling over Jen/Larry's and Tyler's Heads respectively. It's just become another tool for already narcissistic and manipulative people to gaslight their way into endless coddling. Triggers are supposed to help you adjust to society. Cate and Ryan use them to pressure everyone to obey their every waking whim.
  15. Ryan: What the hell happened to him?

    I'm assuming that this is supposed to be a snap of him lovingly changing the baby's diaper, but he looks like he's nodding off. Why on earth would Mack decide to stop filming after choosing to get pregnant by her heroin addict cash cow to stay relevant?