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  1. S01.E07: Everythingship

    I also think that's a general commentary on being in your 20s (or maybe just an anti-millennial commentary) about the difference between dreaming of pursuing your passion and actually putting in the work to make your passion a reality. Beck is enrolled in an MFA program, has rich friends like Peach willing to bankroll her every creative whim, and is at least financially stable enough to fuck around in an upper-middle-class lifestyle in between incredibly brief bouts of "thinking about writing," yet never seems to actually produce anything and only squeezes out the most mediocre of work when under immense pressure and seemingly only to maintain the façade of being an aspiring writer. She uses the idea of wanting to become a writer as a placeholder to put off having to confront the fact that she has zero passions or real life plans. It's not just writers block, she hates writing and dreads even the possibility. It's just the artsy interest that she tells people she has to look profound or complicated at parties. But she continues to insist that her dream is being an author because that's the hipster persona she's created for herself and one that serves as a crutch and a smokescreen to avoid real adult reality. I would wager she also has to keep lying to herself because even she is starting to realize that she's a fraud with no ambition.
  2. S01.E07: Everythingship

    I enjoyed how this episode delved into what a big nothing burger Beck is as a person. Frankly, if it weren't for the narrative dramatic irony of knowing that she's a stalking victim with a high probability of becoming a murder victim, she'd be a little more than a vapid asshole as a character, which I guess is kind of the point. The only thing that makes her different from her friends is not some manic pixie dream girl joie de vivre or actual writing talent, but just that she attracts obsessive clingers who confuse all-consuming sexual infatuation with believing that she's marriage material or has any depth whatsoever. Over the years, Beck has probably bought into their hype and thinks she does everyone a favor just by existing. I know people like her (and have lusted after people like her) and it's absolutely mind-boggling. They don't have to do anything and people just fawn all over them. I admire the show for flipping the manic pixie dream girl trope on its head and rather than the guy ignoring the girl's personality to fit his own narratives, the girl is just an empty vessel and kind of a terrible person. I thought making Beck really crappy and unmotivated at the job Joe had handed her as a result of her magical vagina was an excellent touch and very reflective of how narcissistic and hot people in general just coast by in real life. Speaking of magical vagina, what was up with the random introduction of the neighbors friend/apparently Joe's rebound? What are the chances that you would be walking home from a breakup and some brand new acquaintance is just waiting outside your door eagerly ready to rip off your pants? Did they bang in poor Paco's apartment? That kid just can't catch a break with sleazy dudes. That said, I'm excited by her introduction. She seems like she actually has a good head on her shoulders. I think Joe intentionally goes for airheaded insecure girls because they're easy to control and manipulate, but this rebound could be Joe's undoing. I think this new woman is far too confident and self-assured to swoon over Joe's adolescent Romeo moves. I have a feeling she's going to take Joe down and maybe even save Beck in the process. Other random thoughts: I think it's really interesting that they continue to subtly link Joe's premature ejaculation problem/inability to last in bed with his sociopath tendencies. Is it just the story's way of encouraging us to mock him for fancying himself the ultimate Lothario when in reality he can barely last long enough to get inside a woman? Or is it a warning shot (no pun intended) about his sexual deviance and unhealthy levels of obsession? he seems to be so overtaken by the idea of a woman and becomes so overinvested in the fantasy of being with her that he absolutely loses control whenever that fantasy actually becomes reality, i.e. that he somehow manages to get into their pants. John Stamos is a fucking daddy. Christ, did he look hot with that beard. I'm very confused how mundane everyday scenes and dialogue continue to occur in the basement and the hermetically sealed book chamber without a hitch (including romantic dinners!!!) post-Benji. Doesn't that small bookcase area specifically designed to have limited or controlled ventilation reek of human decay? You can't clean the stench of corpse out of everything, but especially not musty paper. And Joe left the body in that exact spot for at least 36 hours. Surely Beck would smell something - he was straight up fungus-level rotting on the floor right under her feet.
  3. S06.E01: The Clock Is Tickin'

    Not to be a thirsty, delusional American, but holy fuck, Fernanda is hot. Is it bad that I barely remember the age difference with the single mom and Jamaican dude? She also seems very immature. Although I guess we're accustomed to watching 45-year-olds chase 21-year-olds so any age gap less than 20 years feels normal. "We don't have an open engagement but I don't care if he cheats on me as long as it's in another country." Girl, what?
  4. S01.E05: Living with the Enemy

    To be fair, Anastasia Steele is Bella Swan since 50 Shades was originally Twilight fanfic. But yeah, your original point stands. Beyond the "Mary Sue enigma" literary trope, I think Beck's overall blandness in the show (haven't read the book) is a testament to the general hot girl mythology in society. Physical attractiveness gives you such an advantage in life and we are so overwhelmed over people who are physically attractive because we associate being good-looking with being predisposed to be socially and professionally successful and just inherently superior. Whether you're consumed by lust or envy for the person, hot people ultimately don't need much of a personality at all because everyone else invents a narrative for them to their own advantage whenever that may be. Of course not all hot people are vapid blank slates, but their attractiveness means that can be an option. Beck doesn't need any defining characteristics or life goals or talent because Joe and Peach have already invented their own respective personas for her, which is in turn how the audience sees her, but when you step away from that you realize there's no there there. They're both in love with a mirage, but neither of them care because she's the physical embodiment of their fantasy. At the end of the day, everyone either wants to be beautiful or possess someone beautiful – or both. You certainly bears that out.
  5. S2: E4 Tough Titmouse

    I'll spare you guys my next anti-Lea rant (or most of it), but I'm really not digging this "poor Lea" self-pity tour. The show thinks that we want to see Shaun have emotional growth, which is true in theory, but accomplishing it via having one of his only supposed true friends (who is also very aware of his romantic feelings for her) call him an asshole with zero justification beyond "how dare you have negative reactions to my shitty actions" and gaslight him into groveling for her forgiveness (...for what? having a spine and not letting your sexy neighbor use you as a drive-by AirBnB?).....is not the way to go about it. Somehow this plot is going even more crappily than I imagined. When she said "I thought I had a friend who was sweet and nice and open-minded!" which is code for "I thought I could exploit your autism and social naïveté on a whim without consequence!" FUCK OFF! Just fuck off! I'm so sick of able people treating disabled people like toys and then being shocked when they have actual emotions and don't just forget about everything they did. We're not dogs. I did get a little bit of satisfaction at Lea's shocked face when Shaun told her that he had rented an apartment for the two of them to share. That's what happens when you choose to manipulate and guilt trip someone who you know doesn't understand social cues for your own advantage and ego, you self absorbed jackass! I wish he would ditch her, but you know she'll flip the switch and become sugary sweet, especially if he offers pays the rent. I predict she'll keep making Shaun "earn her forgiveness" until he's totally subservient and then reward him with taking his virginity in the midseason finale.
  6. S07.E21: Suns Out, Buns Out

    I think also a big chunk of the problem with the TMs is that the constant coddling by producers combined with their Z-list celebrity and social media followings in particular has convinced them that their thoughts and feelings must be addressed immediately and are inherently superior to everyone else's. It's been that way for the better part of 10 years, so why would that mindset change now just because they're biologically older? If anything, year after year of sitting around complaining about their perpetually adolescent problems has only served to addle their egos beyond repair. To then, sitting around on your couch complaining feels like actual labor and should be considered "real work" because it's more or less what made them famous and the network has been throwing money at them to do so. Catelynn and Amber probably think they should be handed gold stars for pooping or puking in the right spot because hey, it's hard existing with mental illness and you should be grateful that they chose to be alive or interact with you that day! Even as the ship is sinking, they're too far gone to be able to grasp the fact that they need actual skills and experience to survive society and no one is going to kiss their asses for getting dressed every day or call shipping out 5 shitty t-shirts a week out of your living room "running a business." They're all too spoiled to live. They're like toddlers who become accustomed to the potty training reward system and then expect to be given a lollipop for completing every basic life task.
  7. S10.E3: Tex and the City

    While they have good acting chemistry in their scenes, Debra Messing and David Schwimmer have zero romantic spark. Those "kisses" were cringeworthy. Bleck. I did like "No one is convincing anyone to have sex in 2018." Speaking of which, Karen's "affable bigot" persona has not aged well in the current political climate, even if Megan Mulally has. I love Will/Jack buddy plots so I'm glad they've temporarily dropped all the ambiguous hints of a romantic future between them. Feelings and sexual tension would kill their comedic dynamic.
  8. S10.E02: Where in the World Is Karen Walker?

    This was definitely supposed to be the first episode because there was zero mention of David Schwimmer. Everything with Karen was more stale and campy than usual. Bad high school play indeed. Will's beard was the MVP of this ep.
  9. S04.E02: Baby Shower

    The Dina/Mateo plot was awesome and reminded me how much Dina/Garrett should be back together, but since the pairings are apparently carbon copies of The Office romances (Amy/Jonah = Jim/Pam, Garrett/Dina = Dwight/Angela), they probably won't get back together until the series finale lol. I'm so sick of Amy's pregnancy plots! Enough, no one asked for this. Why must we revisit it every episode. Tbh, the writers need to tone down her sour personality. We get it, she's anal and uptight. It's coming off as condescending and a little grating. Yay, no more Noam!
  10. Season 7 Discussion: Season of Fate

    Cosigned. I don't think Cali was on drugs - she just wanted to flaunt and go wild in Tomas' face. Which, I mean...ok. I'm not exactly sure why she was mad at him. All he said was he liked her enough to want to date her outside the game and didn't really give a shit about the producers' silly match formula. Don't know how she got "fuck you, I'm doing my own thing" out of that. The entire cast was obviously really, really drunk at that party, but Cali especially. She acts like a rebellious 15-year-old who claims to be in love with every boy she dates for three weeks. All the aggressive jackhammering dry humping was so embarrassing. Suddenly everyone wants to fuck Cali on the spot because she's...grinding on dudes? So is everyone else! I don't know why she suddenly became irresistible to every man at that party to the point where they forgot their current girlfriends were right next to them. Just shift your dick six inches to the left and grind it on the ass you're supposed to, it will feel the same. Sam definitely flew out of nowhere shrieking and going berserk on Cali for touching Danny. I understand being upset and talking to her about it, but that was a total overreaction and made her look unstable. I think she was trying to impress Bria. Also, I shudder at the thought of liking anything about Bria, but I do enjoy that her style of comforting people involves yelling at them 5 inches from their face about how they're being a moron and embarrassing themselves (pot meet kettle), yet somehow in a weirdly affectionate and supportive way where you can tell she actually cares about them. Morgan's complete lack of self-esteem just makes me sad. Zak invents new lows for himself every week.
  11. S07.E20: Unconditional Love

    Catelynn's response to Tyler's therapy homework was such textbook gaslighting that it was hard to watch. I know we're not fans of Tyler here, but he made one request that didn't even come from him! All he did was ask her to watch a few of the episodes to understand what he was going through while she was at the spa. Also, these people are hardly stellar employees, but it's probably not smart to balk in disgust at the idea of watching the show has been almost your sole source of income and responsible for your quality of life for the past decade. Tyler was not accusing her of being unsympathetic or lacking empathy, although he should be. He seemed genuinely hopeful that the therapist had discovered a new means of communication for them. The marriage is obviously breaking down, but Tyler ironically is the one trying to save it. Sure he's probably milking the martyr husband card a little bit for attention, but I don't blame him at this point. Catelynn, for all her monologues and tears about feeling bad that Tyler is carrying such a burden, treats him like an ungrateful butler/nanny. She just shuffles around the house feeling sorry for herself and ignoring her kid. It's almost like she barely remembers Tyler is there until she needs him to do something. She bites his head off whenever he tries to interact with her or bring up his own topic of conversation that doesn't involve what he can do to make her feel better. Watch how angry she gets immediately when Tyler suggests that they watch the episodes together. She knows she doesn't have a rational reason to justifiably say no, so as usual, she whips out the mental illness card. It takes a special kind of bullshit artistry to turn a calm discussion about how your mental illness is affecting your marriage into a claim that you're too mentally ill to watch yourself being mentally ill. Dumbass, you can't have it both ways. You can't demand that everyone around you restructures their entire lives on a daily basis based on your anxiety and depression while also refusing to acknowledge the aftermath of that constant restructuring. She doesn't actually care about Tyler's feelings, she just cares about appearing as though she cares about his feelings. So, predictable as ever, she finds a way to turn the conversation into an attack on her personally as a wife and mother because she knows those are forbidden criticisms. And then I love when Cate said indignantly about the therapist, "Who is she to say I don't care? What gives her the right?" she's a therapist! You seem perfectly fine with therapists when they're kissing your ass in a desert resort or telling you the best cure for your depression is a movie marathon. You just don't like this one because she's not letting you flop all over yourself playing the victim. She's actually treating like you like an adult with, you know, accountability instead of an overemotional teenager that has to be coddled back to good health. And before you condescendingly look down your snobby little nose at Tyler's therapist, she has these things called formal qualifications, which is what you're supposed to get as an adult in order to have something known as a career. Cate's forgotten most people in the world only get paid for doing stuff other than sleep, fuck, and fuse their ass to their sofa. Cate can fuck all the way off, honestly. I'm rooting for Tyler to divorce her at this point.
  12. Darcey & Jesse: Cougar Town

    Jesse: "I found her crying on the floor so I picked her up...with my penis."
  13. S02.E10: Goodbye For Now

    Because Rachel has the mindset of a jealous high school girl and thinks that every woman within a 20 mile radius is going to throw themselves at Jon. The ring is just a way to mark her territory and a socially acceptable alternative to her presumable preference, trailing 18 inches behind him at all times while holding a flashing neon sign that says "THIS IS MY MAN!"
  14. S02.E10: Goodbye For Now

    What a repulsive yet hilarious visual. It's still less unsettling than my theory that they are into age play.
  15. S44.E02: Awkwafina / Travis Scott

    Pete looks like he's doing harder drugs every week. I know he's said it's only weed, but...idk man. Ariana could fund anything.