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Callaphera

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  1. S27.E10: Week 8: Semi-Finals

    Hey, I'm rooting for Bobby (not voting because I can't be arsed to vote for this show) and I like country music but I'm still sane. He makes me laugh. He's not the best dancer but he definitely seems to be enjoying his time on the show and because of that, I enjoy watching him. (Yeah, I know people have said that he whines on Instagram about scores and whatnot but I don't follow any of those people anywhere besides the two hours a week I watch so I don't really care about that.) I think part of the problem is that the show is trying to bring in young(er) stars to appeal to the younger demographic but their target demo is really a lot older so they're in an interesting place. And yeah, DwtS isn't the career-maker/changer that it used to be.
  2. S27.E10: Week 8: Semi-Finals

    Country music fans are probably the only ones who could take down the juggernaut of Bachelor Nation, tbh.
  3. S27.E10: Week 8: Semi-Finals

    This week's episode of Dancing with the Stars is brought to you by... doubled sided sticky tape for garments (because in that first dance, Alexis was one dip away from showing some cleavage and I don't mean from her chesticle area)! Now with special guest star Carrie Ann Inaba, the Lift Police, defending dance from lifted toes in the wrong places! Dear Alexis and Alan: I still don't care. I don't know about the rest of y'all but I'm voting for Grocery Store Joe. For Best Impersonation of a Stripper Pole 2018. HAHAHAHA! *takes a deep breath* HAHAHAHA YOU COULDN'T WIN, BACHELOR NATION. Eh, whatever about Juan Pablo, I love Cheryl but never really warmed up to her partner but HAHAHAHA! Our long (inter)national nightmare is over!
  4. S11.E07: A Lifetime of Achievement

    A Notorious RBG shoutout... on the same day I read a news article that she's in the hospital with broken ribs after a fall. Get better soon, you badass.
  5. S27.E09: Week 7: Country Night

    I mean, Joe both sucks and blows but the 90% aren't wrong in this case. It is a silly reality show, it's not a real dance competition (at best, it's a popularity contest: now with bonus sequins!), and people are allowed to vote for whoever they want. Doesn't change the fact that I think Joe should have been out week 1 but they're not wrong. Doesn't change the fact that I am side-eyeing and judging those votes HARD, either. I think I may be rooting for Grocery Store Joe for the Mirror Ball at this point. I mean, at least I'll be rooting for the winner for once?
  6. S27.E09: Week 7: Country Night

    People take it that seriously to begin with?
  7. S27.E09: Week 7: Country Night

    Welcome to Dancing With Shilling For the Stars ABC/Disney! On the one hand I hate it when they dance to special guest stars live music, on the other hand we get less of the Worst Band on TV murdering songs in the worst way, so I guess it's kind of a wash. Jenna to Joe: "You're a dancer now!" Me to the TV: "Well, he kept the beat once. Let's not start planning the parade route, eh?" Alexis to Alan last week: "I have feelings for you." Alan to Alexis this week: "The producers tells me that I have feelings for you, too." Producers to the viewers: "All right, guys. We're gonna give you two chances to get it right this week. We're gonna get rid of two couples. You know what to do." Viewers: did not know what to do. HOW IS GROCERY STORE JOE STILL NEVER IN JEOPARDY? OR GONE? Thank fuck the American election ends soon. Between the 90 million political commercials I had to watch (AGAIN) this week, I think I'm fully informed as to my choices in the Detroit/Michigan area and I live in Vancouver, Canada.
  8. S11.E06 Results May Vary

    I've seen it so many times (and own it on DVD) that I can almost quote most episodes from heart. I'd disagree, though. There's a fair amount of snark in the West Wing, it's just not as in-your-face as a half-hour comedy. I still get chills and get a bit teary eyed when President Bartlett rants to God in Latin.
  9. S11.E06 Results May Vary

    I didn't know that until I saw the episode. In my defense, I'm not American but I love me some snarky shows about American politics and while I'm not the target audience for Murphy Brown (because not American), I Learned Something New last night.
  10. S27.E08: Week 6: Halloween Night

    Y'know, I can accept that (though not the fact that they butchered Christina twice in two weeks) but can anyone explain Roxanne?
  11. S27.E08: Week 6: Halloween Night

    Random observances: John Schneider could not let go of his phallic symbol sword. At all. That Worst Band on TV rendition of Candyman. What. The. Everloving. Fuck. Alexis and Alan's "epic" "Romeo and Juliet" "romance". HAHAHAHA. *breathes* HAHAHAHA. Ten points to Tom Bergeron for the crack about the cameras being in the room. Hee! Snarky Tom is the best Tom. ...where the hell are my Hallowe'en group dances? I wanted to see how they were going to hide Grocery Store Joe shambling around in the background. Ten points to Jenna for realizing Joe stumbles around like Frankenstein's monster and planning their choreography around that. Work with what you got, right? Also, Jenna, WE GET IT. YOU AND VAL MAKE THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS ON THE REG. K COOL. Val's faked enthusiasm at Jenna's squealing "double date" bullshit was hilarious. Also also: Joe kept the beat through the whole song. For the first time. On week 6. Was that the Cookie Monster singing Roxanne? No seriously. What. The. Everloving. Fuck. Again. Sasha continues to be the best thing about Hallowe'en Night now that Mark Ballas isn't here with some crazy ass choreo, costumes, and staging. Sasha is the most joyful, wonderful part of this show. I'm terrified that it's eventually going to come out that he has a secret life kicking puppies or something. #FreeUsFromJoe
  12. S01.E04: Halloween Night

    I'll say this about Honey Boo Boo (my heart is sweeter than bacon, chiiiile - sorry, the South Park episode with her always comes to mind when I think of her): she has an awful lot of self-confidence, which is amazing because so many kids her age are the opposite. There is, however, such a thing as believing your own hype. Shit, Hell just froze over. I said something nice about Honey Boo Boo and I've been mocking her since she got her first cup of Go-Go Juice on Toddlers and Tiaras.
  13. S01.E04: Halloween Night

    Artem is freeeee! FREEEEE! Oh, and there was a show. But the most important thing is that Artem is freeeee! And so are we.
  14. S27.E07: Week 5: Disney Night

    I like Keo. He makes me laugh and entertains me. I don't like his constant need to overdance his partners (Gleb also has a habit of it). I realize he's the pro but he's supposed to be showcasing his partner, not his own dancing ability.
  15. S27.E07: Week 5: Disney Night

    Oh, and because I never miss an opportunity to talk shit about the Dancing with the Stars band (fire them!): thanks for ruining one of my favourite songs from when I was a pre-teen/teenager. Christina Aguilera killed Reflection and that was a poor, sad imitation.