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helenamonster

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  1. S13.E04: Auditions 4 2018.06.19

    Right? I remember for years Howie especially would always ding acts who came out with original songs. And then who was his golden buzzer two years ago, whose original songs were integral to her act? Grace Vanderwaal.
  2. S13.E04: Auditions 4 2018.06.19

    Was "You Raise Me Up" kid's tragic backstory that he was an only child? I'd like to take the opportunity to speak for only children everywhere when I say that if the worst thing that happens in your life is you never get any brothers or sisters, you're doing ok. The whole process of having that one guy do another song was exhausting. Let's pretend for a moment that the whole thing is genuine. First of all, anybody who auditions to sing for anything always has a second song prepared...even Broadway musicals will sometimes require that actors bring their books with them to auditions and be prepared to sing songs that aren't even in the show. Then, Simon was all, "I wish you'd sang this obscure Italian song that only I know" because...huh? Why would you expect this guy to sing a song that apparently nobody has heard of? But I call bullshit on the whole thing--I would be shocked to find out that none of that was staged. I loved the guy who did "telekinesis." I rolled my eyes at first when he called himself a "mentalist" and claimed to have real telekinetic powers (I HATE when magicians pretend like what they do is real magic and not a set of well-rehearsed skills) but then I cackled when it ended up being a parody of similar self-serious acts. I have a feeling there's more to him than just the fake telekinesis, I look forward to him maybe making fun of card tricks or some of the other magic we constantly see on the show. They did, it was called American Idol.
  3. What Are We Currently Reading?

    Just finished: The Perfect Mother by Aimee Molloy. Definitely set it self apart from other books in the "missing child" subgenre, with the focus being more on the other mothers in the mommy group than the one who lost her baby. My only complaint is that the author really struggled to cohesively write scenes with a lot of action. The climax of the book had a lot of moving parts, and it was almost impossible to keep track of who was where and what they were doing. Perhaps she was just rushing to get things finished, but it was really frustrating and made it difficult to appreciate the twist. Next up: Something in the Water by Catherine Steadman.
  4. Kimmy loading up Jan with rocks was so disturbing and dark but this show does that so well, I was completely on board. Though definitely relieved that Jan survived and will continue to accompany Kimmy on adventures. Mimi Kanasis becoming Jacqueline's assistant felt like a nice shoutout to her Bojack Horseman character, who is a talent agent like Jacqueline. Always nice to see Xanthippe, surly queen of my heart. I could watch Busy Phillips make snarly faces all day. I'm assuming she'll be back for the second half of the season, if Lillian's in charge of her trust fund. "You mean every time I want to buy Tide Pods to eat, I have to ask her????" I cackled. I have been wondering since the first episode when somebody was going to tell her about 9/11. Of all the things she missed in the bunker, that is by far the biggest!
  5. S03.E01 Good Police

    Was the guy she was chasing at the end for sure Creepy Ginger? She clearly thought it was Stahl but we never got a good look one way or the other--I don't even think it matters at this point if it was him or not, the point was that her obsession with catching him inadvertently led to Nava being killed. Agree that the new crop of bad cops are all over-the-top cartoon characters. The guy playing their captain is especially terrible. I might be forgetting some details from the last season, but was it ever explained why Tess and Tufo got demoted? I know internal affairs was on their butts but I can't remember anything about those two specifically being singled out. I thought it would be covered this episode but I don't think it was? Definitely bummed this is the last season. I never expected to be so riveted by a cop show starring JLo but here we are. Looking forward to one last hurrah of crazy twists and turns.
  6. S13.E03: Auditions 3 2018.06.12

    Little Sophie was adorable. I work with child actors and she would be amazing in commercials--the fact that she's five and can already memorize lines (don't tell me her mother didn't feed her those cute things to say) would be a huge plus. But she shouldn't be on this show. I hope she's one of those that gets quietly forgotten between auditions and judge cuts so we don't have to see her get rejected. Quick change done well never fails to impress me, but I'm really tired of it on this show. Until someone can come up with new tricks for it, I get bored after the first two or three. I love when they're clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel for sob stories. "I had to stop dancing cuz I had a kid!" Give me a goddamn break. I echo whoever said the fiancee of the escape artist gave them vibes of last year's escape artist couple. This one doesn't seem nearly as insufferable, but it's early days. The one last year used to scream until her husband popped back up all smug. Hans was a delight. Golden Buzzer Courtney was giving me serious Mara Justine vibes, and anybody who remembers her knows that is not a compliment. Janis Joplin, Howie--are you kidding me?! Janis did not die for this! I feel like we should have a post pinned to the top of this forum regarding the audition process/how famous you're allowed to be to compete on this show. Some quick facts: Most of these acts are scouted out by producers from talent showcases, the internet, similar Got Talent/Voice shows, etc. There are open auditions in cities across America, but it is very rare to be discovered/picked from there, and that is not where these auditions are taped. This article is a great rundown of what it's like to attend the open calls: https://jezebel.com/i-auditioned-for-americas-got-talent-to-find-out-if-ive-1792364306 All the acts that make it through or don't make through during auditions and judge cuts are predetermined by the showrunners. The judges are told which ones to like and which ones to not. It's fascinating every year to see them fawn over certain acts who the general public hates during auditions and judge cuts, and then immediately turn on them during the lives when they (meaning the producers) realize they made a bad call in guessing what we would like. This competition is not limited to amateurs and never has been. In theory, an A-list celeb like Beyonce could enter, she just wouldn't because she doesn't need the exposure or a million dollars paid out over 40 years. People on this show have done the talent show circuit, recorded albums, been in movies/tv, and performed in major circus troops. To be honest, I would much rather have a show of seasoned professionals than a bunch of jamokes who taught themselves to juggle in their backyards. I do, however, prefer when they are honest about a contestant's professional background (Glee guy) as opposed to pretending they are uncovering a new talent for the first time (Golden Buzzer Courtney).
  7. This trend of the show pretending to have a revelation about stuff the rest of society has already covered and moved on from is getting really old. I would really love someone in the last episode of this batch to tell Kimmy that, hey, we know you were stuck underground for fifteen years and are still catching up, but we've already had these discussions and you are not stumbling on new ground here. It's really disappointing because in earlier seasons the show felt so fresh and had a lot of new things to say. Isn't there anyone in the writer's room that's the least bit in touch? I feel like they should hire some random twenty-something to go over scripts and let the writers know, "No yeah that's a thing we all know already." Otherwise I found this episode delightful. I loved the return of the hipsters. "Oh I see, we're the parents. I'm in it already." Freakishly strong Kimmy is the best Kimmy.
  8. What Are We Currently Reading?

    Just finished: The Favorite Sister by Jessica Knoll. I was worried that I wasn't going to enjoy it as much as Luckiest Girl Alive. The latter was just so deeply personal, having been based on things that really happened to Knoll, that just reading the premise of this one I knew that personal touch wouldn't be there. But honestly, I think not having that personal attachment to the story almost made it better? Luckiest Girl Alive is fantastic and was clearly therapeutic for Knoll to write, but I think the fact that Favorite Sister appeared to have been made out of whole cloth helped her to step back a little bit and have some fun with it. A lot of the criticism I read of it was that none of the characters were likable, and I will say that if you need someone to "root for" in the most basic sense, you are going to be disappointed. But even though the characters are all awful (with the possible exception of Lauren; she's the only one who really feels like a "victim" of her situation and doesn't bring her problems on herself the way the other women do), they are three-dimensional with clear motivations. I think the book also made a lot of interesting points about the pitfalls of fourth-wave feminism without being critical of its intentions as a whole. Next up: The Perfect Mother by Aimee Molloy. I had to laugh at the Amazon blurb for the book: this thing came out on May 1 of this year and there is already a film adaptation "coming soon" starring Kerry Washington. I love how people continue to learn the wrong lessons from the success of Gone Girl.
  9. "When they say you can keep the wigs, you don't ask a lot of questions!" Never change, Titus. Whimmy shimmy thank you Kimmy. I died. I also loved the continuity of the fact that even though Kimmy has told both Titus and Jacqueline off for ordering her around, they still can't help themselves. "Your girl is terrible, but I have one at home that's worse." The guy who played the nerd that Titus first starts talking to was Jeffrey Weinerslav!
  10. S13.E02: Audition 2

    I don't know if I'm just desperate for something to laugh at or what but I thoroughly enjoyed Yumbo Dump and animal noises girl. I don't see either of them going much farther but as far as just watching an episode of television, I was into it. I know this is an unpopular opinion but I don't mind the multimedia acts, and I thought doing the diabolo in front of them changed it up a bit. Diabolo is hard enough on its own so it was really cool to see him time it with the projections. I get why others are tired of it, though. The thing I hate the most about the Golden Buzzer is it turns me into the worst version of myself. This guy comes out with his six kids who he loves so much and all I can do is roll my eyes. They spent more time on the backstory than they did on his actual act! Did we really need to hear in elaborate detail how he got each kid? I'm glad they're in a happy and loving home but I don't care, I don't care, I doooooooon't caaaaaaare.
  11. I think because like Kimmy, Titus is also stuck in the '90s. Also, they don't have a computer, and streaming would take up too much of his datum!
  12. I loved everything about this episode. They took a huge risk in completely changing the tone and format but it worked for me. This season was written/shot in the shadow of the #MeToo movement and it only makes sense that the movement would play a central part in this show, given its premise. The Weinsteins, Roses, and Lauers of the world are planning their comebacks, so of course some Red Pill MAGA bros would look into some old cases like the Reverend's. Since this is the first half of the show's final season, I think it makes sense to loop it back around to where it all started. I love Walter Bankston, it's great to see him outside the opening credits (which I NEVER skip so stop asking me to, Netflix!). Every single bit of parody regarding documentaries, especially Netflix ones, was spot on. I feel like this episode could benefit from multiple rewatches, just to see all the little details I missed.
  13. I forgot, I also liked the jokes about how there were so many tv shows and none of them sound real. It's so true! And don't even get me started on these random apps/channels I'd have to pay for to watch your nonexistent-but-somehow-the-best-show-ever show. Especially living in NYC, there are posters everywhere for shows I am convinced do not really exist. I've been passing one on my way to work that's for an AT&T original series--like what even is that?! Who is watching it?! You all make good points about even the most "normal" people needing to be taught how to work in an office. Not only is Kimmy, for all intents and purposes, a middle-schooler who frequently forgets it's not still 1999, but the American workplace has drastically changed since she first entered the bunker. Millennials dominate the job market right now, and the Giztoob offices are reminiscent of places like BuzzFeed, YouTube, Google, Facebook, that all have lots of fun activities and cool gadgets, not just desks and computers. To Kimmy, the whole place looks like fun, and fun for her involves hugs, high fives, and t-shirt cannons. And yes, I too have had my experience with people who did not spend fifteen years in a bunker and should know better in completely shitting the bed when it comes to office decorum. I had an internship at a late-night show in college, and was still there when they were interviewing the new interns for the following semester. The ways some of these kids would come in shocked me. The office was generally casual (unless you were someone who would be in the studio area and potentially cross paths with guests, then you did have to dress up a bit), but this internship was a huuuuge deal that plenty of people would kill for. One girl came in with her hair still wet from a shower and not combed. Guys came in with untucked shirts and saggy pants. This was at one of the Big Four networks. What are you doing???
  14. Al Gore Rhythm. I will never experience the internet the same way again. "I was trying to impress Jenny McCarthy, and the worst part is, it worked!" *Jenny McCarthy calls Jacqueline* I cackled. Also because wasn't Jenny McCarthy Jenna's nemesis on 30 Rock? And the archetype Jenna was based on? Thank you to the people who reminded me where I'd seen that Sex and the City parody before! And wasn't it also lampooning that short-lived NBC show Lipstick Jungle the first time it was used? The guy who played Tripp was Shawn Eckhardt in I, Tonya! This show does amazing visual gags as well. Before they first go into the nail salon, Kimmy and Titus were shopping at The Salvation Coast Guard.
  15. SNL in the Media

    That still doesn't explain why Tiffany Haddish wasn't submitted. If someone saw her name in a comedy category, that would be a no-brainer box to check even if they hadn't seen the episode. But if I was an Emmy voter and I saw Saoirse Ronan submitted in the Guest Actress Comedy category I'd just be like wahhh???, check off Tina Fey, and move on to the next one.