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wheresmypizza

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  1. Diaper rash and hemorrhoids? Sounds like a neglectful mama who leaves dirty diapers on all day. Yelly Dad may be a douche, but I don't for a minute think he's an abuser. Clearly mama didn't either since it took her forever to formulate a plan. Dad probably probed it with a Q-tip or something going wtf? Isn't that kind of what the kid herself was saying?
  2. S10.E05: Two Tops Never Work

    Heather. Oh, Heather. Somebody's gotta keep you in bad extentions and botox. You wanted to be a trophy wife. Well, here ya go. He has to take that call. Just as if he were an OBGYN. You were an agent. You know this. It's a fucking stroller.
  3. S06.E02: Unfaithful

    The star of this ep for me was the Taco Bell sweatshirt of shame. *sniff*
  4. You know what my favorite part of today's episode was? The part where he sends her to the PNP Center and peddles some Robin's Wrinkle Cream!!!
  5. I suspect Peggy has an IFB and Diko's feeding her lines off camera. Problem is, she's dumb af fuck and flubs even the simplest of them. Then he shows up, all armchair quarterback to try and fix it by calling audibles. Give him an orange, he's earned it. She clearly hasn't.
  6. Vicki quitting?. Please. They'll have to drag her off the stage with a shepard's hook, kicking and screaming like the toddler she is. She just wants everyone to kiss her ass and beg her to stay. Because home has Steve in it and he's boring her to tears.
  7. From your lips to God's ears.
  8. S12.E15: Mystic Mistake

    Vicki's death rattle is music to my ears. She knows she's done. Here's the melody. I'm so over the mean bullying. I'm so hurt. Can't we talk it out and move forward. No one will be friends with me. I'm a nice person. Why doesn't everyone love me? Here's the harmony. My broken heart is giving me colon cancer/afib/influenza/crotch rot/. Must feel sorry for me and bring casseroles. And it's all your fault. Here's the chorus. It's ALL ABOUT ME AND MY SHOW that I know I'm within a knat's eyelash of getting kicked off of and I'm TERRIFIED.
  9. S12.E15: Mystic Mistake

    Peggy has Sophia Vergara syndrome at this point. Pure Shtick. Sophia. I'm preeety AND funny!!!! HAAAAAA! Peggy. You dropped the shit and knew what 'throw in the towel' meant tonight. I see you.
  10. S12.E15: Mystic Mistake

    If anyone had any doubt, ever, about who the HBIC is, look no further than Tamra. If she wants you off the show, she'll get you off the show. She did it to Jeanna, Gretchen, Slade, Alexis. Lizzie, and probably phantom chick from a couple seasons ago. This year, she may get a twofer with Vicki and Shannon. Vicki, call this a great run and save whatever shred of self respect you have left. Shannon, please, for the love of all that is holy, get on some HRT. You'll feel better, you won't constantly feel/act like a crazy person, and you may just resemble the person David used to be able to at least pretend to stand. Next time I want to make it crystal clear that I'm telling/not telling someone to fuck off, I'll just stand there, staring, creepily eating from a bag of chips.
  11. S10.E02: French Alps

    Biakbiak, I think this is why this was my fav episode ever. I love how their relationship has evolved. And at their age? To drink and eat nothing but cheese all day and then ski like pros?? Well, played, friends. Come back to my TV anytime.
  12. The evil part of me LOVES every time some other housewife gets given an extravagant gift from their husband in front of Vicki. Simon giving Tamara the Rolex. George giving Laurie the Mercedes with the big red bow. The rose gold watches. Cut to Vicki with smile pasted on. This KILLS HER. Her jealousy oozes through the screen and it is my everything.
  13. We got hookah, confrontational Diko because that's where the cameras were. Outside. Away from Vicki. That was intentional by Tamara, and it worked. Bitch is SOOO good at this. Normally I would hate it but it's going to ultimately result in getting Vicki off this show. So. Yeah. Please!!!!!!!!!!
  14. One more episode where the last 10 minutes are devoted to Robin's Wrinkle Cream and I'm done. Bitch, please. You've had more work done than Joan Rivers. At least Joan copped to it. As Judge Judy says. 'don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.'