JudyObscure

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  1. I was pregnant in the dark ages and my doctor told me that so long as I didn't smoke more than ten a day it would be fine. I think most doctors didn't think our bad stuff, "crossed the placenta." In fact, I had friends doing much stronger drugs than cigarettes while pregnant, and believing there was no danger. Yesterday, I heard an OBGYN on NPR say that it was perfectly okay for pregnant women to lift weights and do cardio like running, things we were told not to do. I've seen medical advice change so much over the years I no longer fully trust any of it.
  2. Okay, with apologies to our tolerant moderator, I'll also say one last thing. (1) I rarely know the color of fellow posters on the internet, and (2) even if I did know that, say, " Fishcakes," was a person of color, I would not think that meant she spoke for everyone in the world with similar pigment. I haven't told anyone how to feel. I've talked about my own opinion as to the best strategy to end racist stereotypes over the long term.
  3. I care very much about not being racist, but I disagree completely with your suggestion that not being racist requires memorizing a list of negative adjectives that have a history of being connected to certain races by prejudiced people. I think that contributes to keeping racism alive. After I was criticized for calling Tai sneaky (the man who gets up before dawn to search for idols) I asked my husband if he had ever heard of Asians as a group being called sneaky. He is career military and has lived in Thailand, Korea and Vietnam. At first he said no, but then, after thinking about it, he said that he thought maybe some people called the Japanese sneaky during WWII because of Pearl Harbor. So I'm thinking, 70 years later that old prejudice remains in a few people's minds so that we can't call an Asian man on a game show "sneaky," even if he is. That's sad to me. I refuse to fill my head with that sort of crap and I definitely don't think it's helpful toward a world where all people are treated equally. For one thing, it requires keeping a constant awareness in mind, that the person you're talking about is a certain race, rather than just thinking of them as an individual, and then it means calling up all the old stereotypes, originated by racists, that they thought go with that race, (ugh) and finally weighing each word you speak so as not to seem to use any of those words. You believe that "not wanting to know" is a form of racism, but I believe just the opposite. I believe that constantly keeping a connection in your mind between, for example, "Asian and sneaky" or "black and lazy," is a form of unconscious racism. It keeps all that alive. I think we should try hard to forget those negative stereotypes if we've heard them, and if we were lucky enough not to have ever heard them then we certainly shouldn't search them out. I think it's particularly unfortunate to call attention to those old stereotypes on the internet because lots of young people who never heard something like, "It's well known that sneaky is an Asian stereotype," has now heard it. I called Tai sneaky because of his actions on the show and no young person reading the post would have thought it had anything at all to do with his being Asian until someone jumped on it.
  4. I've always loved Michaela, she's adorable in challenges doing cannonball dives into the ocean and picking up her tribe mates in jubilation, but even in her first season it was noticeable that sometimes, when the entire group was laughing or crying, she would be in her own world, straight faced and not participating. We occasionally saw that her straight forward criticism of others was sometimes lacking in tact. On the other hand I don't love Sierra and find her smug and boring to watch, but this implication that she is a racist based on these "coded," words, that have been called nasty and vile, seems like a huge leap to me. This is Survivor and the whole idea is to get everyone but yourself voted out. If that means saying that someone is fake (as Zeke did about Brad last night) or someone is shady (as Andrea did about Zeke) then that is part of the game. I don't think of words like blunt or shifty as nasty or vile. I could give some examples of nasty, vile words but I don't like to say them in any context. "Intelligent," is a compliment in any standard dictionary. Which brings me to the "dictionary," some people seem to be using . This imaginary book of code that has long lists of words that don't mean what most people think they mean and should never be used to describe people of certain races or ethnic background. How is Sierra supposed to know these secret words? Those of us who were not raised by some version of Archie Bunker are probably not familiar with all the words that could be viewed as stereotypical. Are ethnic people exempt from any criticism at all because it might be seen as a coded ethnic stereotype? One thing I've decided from these last few weeks of Survivor. I wont be watching "The Bachelorette," this year even though I love their choice for the first black Bachelorette, because it's clear no one will be able to enjoy the usual snark and the first person who says she didn't like Rachel's shoes will be called a racist.
  5. I kind of wonder why Jimmy thought he needed a detailed explanation for why he had his arm in the trash? I would think a simple, "Just dropped something, never mind," would have been enough answer to Gus's, "May I help you." How much do I love Jimmy? So much that I'm a little bit jealous of Kim. I loved BB and binge watched the whole thing twice after someone loaned me the set. I only hate-watched Skyler. ;) Even so, I like BCS much better, it just has so much more heart.
  6. All these things just make me more sympathetic to Chuck. Everybody prefers Jimmy. Even Chuck's mother likes him better than Jimmy. Chuck's wife, Rebecca immediately liked Jimmy and laughed at his jokes. I find all that very sad for Chuck, and I definitely was disappointed in Jimmy for that below the belt blow about why Rebecca left Chuck. As for Chuck not telling Jimmy his mother asked for him, maybe Chuck's motive was jealousy, but if I had sat by my mother's bedside for two days and then, the minute hunger broke me and I went out to get food, she asked for me and I wasn't there for her? I would have kicked myself forever over that. I definitely would not want to know. Of course, I'm like everyone else and find Jimmy the loveable, funny one and I, too, like him best, but I can't ever really hate Chuck, because, while he's had the "successful," life, I get the feeling he has never felt loved. Jimmy on the other hand is liked by almost everyone he meets and, I think, loved by Kim. When Kim looks at Jimmy's sad face (and boy can the actor do a heart breaking sad face) Kim looks like she's going to cry and I feel like it, too. Chuck is a pretentious snob who treats people like they're beneath him while Jimmy is patient with old people and has just the right thing to say to everyone. I think he is basically a very kind person. However. who does lasting harm to people? What are the ripple effects of the con's Jimmy has pulled? We know his father lost his business. We know the young Air Force Captain was hurt and humiliated when he found out Jimmy had made a fool of him. I don't think anything is black and white here or that Chuck = Bad and Jimmy= Good. That's what I love about this show.
  7. I agree with that. It was such a prissy, "Well! We all hate Jeff now so we don't need to vote." They may or may not have all hated Jeff, but just because everyone was crying and telling Jeff how wrong he was, doesn't say how they might have voted in private. I can see sneaky Tai, and maybe Ozzy, wanting Jeff around as a shield. I'm interested in seeing how Zeke will be for the rest of the show. This week I've seen him on TV and read his brilliant essays and he seems very happy now, but when we last saw him on Survivor he had that round eyed, hurt look that made Andrea (and me) burst out crying. It will be odd to go back to that.
  8. Every bit of dialogue Joan had with Zachary Scott in "Mildred Pierce," was steamy. I wonder if he was one of her off screen romances?
  9. Oh yes, I can think of quite a few who were probably more likely to get the, "Most beautiful woman in the world," tag back then. Hedy Lamar, Gene Tierney, Lana Turner. Garbo is the one I can't seem to see as others see her. To me her jaw line wasn't great and her lips too thin. Even now there are some People magazine "Most beautiful," picks that I can't see at all.
  10. Yes, and that's one reason why Jessica Lange seemed such an unusual choice to play her. Jessica was cute when she was young, but she always had a nose that was too flat and small for her face and rather small eyes. She is almost opposite in type to Joan's huge eyes and perfectly sculpted nose. Bette was never ugly, but I would call her cute to Joan's beautiful. However, Bette proves, in film after film, that a woman's beauty is as much in the way she carries herself as in perfection of features. Watching Bette Davis in, "Now Voyager," she goes from ugly to drop dead stunning, with just a few make-up and wardrobe changes. She never had to be beautiful because she knew how to act beautiful.
  11. For any of you who are darkly fascinated with Jeff's situation, I recommend, "So You've Been Publicly Shamed," Here. I picked it up at the library because the title made me laugh, and I have heard the author talking about different things on NPR. I'll bet he's wishing this incident had happened before he put the book together because it's just the sort of "one sentence ruined my life," situation he covers. It's terrifying how fast the media can take you down these days.
  12. I think you've put your finger on it. The stiff upper-lip British are famous for keeping their sense of humor during the very worst of times and we haven't seen much of that at all.
  13. Welcome home, Trixie! I've always thought she was beautiful, but the sixties style, pale lipstick and up-do, suits her to perfection. Now can we please get some body-skimming A-line dresses for the nurses. Those cinch belts only work for women with tiny waists and look just awful if you don't. Poor Barbara deserves something more flattering. I'm hoping the show is just creating drama with the miscarriage-scare. I can't take the Turners disappointment if it really happens.
  14. Everyone is getting reckless. Pat and her handsome Czech, Vicar's widow and that man she was obviously in-love with even while her husband was still alive, Laura who might have wanted to stay home from dances while her name was still in the papers. The teacher and the woman pilot might be getting ready to be reckless, but I don't think people were very suspicious about that in the 1940's. Mrs. Barden must be shattered at the betrayal of a child born eleven years ago. That's a lot of lies. I was disappointed that the blonde telephone operator wasn't fired.
  15. Very exciting! Grantchester and Corfu! "My Mother and Other Strangers," sounds good: Will the Americans all be loud mouthed ogres who eat with their mouths open or will we be pleasantly surprised?