Jump to content


  • Content count

  • Joined

Community Likes

35,265 Excellent


About NinjaPenguins

  • Rank

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    New England
  • Interests
    Sports, science, gaming
  • Favorite TV Show
    Big Bang Theory

Recent Profile Visitors

1,673 profile views
  1. God, I hope that’s Mal Young’s contract Jack is feeding to the shredder.
  2. I thought all women found their soulmates by looking under their daughter. Also, can you be a soulmate without a soul?
  3. I don’t understand how Billy and Phyllis can get back together without it being gross, awkward, and inappropriate. Of course Mal is going to reunite them, probably via some zany, romcomcom hijinks that leave us all agape at the utter rone deafness of it all, but damn, man, Buttbiscuit revenge fucked her daughter to stick it to Phyllis and her ex-baboon. Any kind of a self-respecting woman and decent mother never touches that rancid mayo man again. I know, I know. Phyllis engaging in sensible, dignified behavior will happen at the same time Nick translates the works of Aristotle into Mandarin.
  4. You must admit, he plays that one note like Mozart. This JT story has reached its expiration date with me. Solve this shit, Rey, and let’s move on to a more interesting mystery, maybe “The Case of Why The Fuck Tracy is Apologizing to Ashley.” Our beloved Buttbiscuit is giving a virtuoso performance of trash bag theatre at Jabot. Thank god there’s already a popcorn machine there.
  5. Phyllis is probably just rubbing her bare ass all over the chair, hoping to soak up some of Buttbiscuit’s musk. Little does she know that she could just do Summer’s laundry for her Billy batter fix.
  6. I can see why Eric Braeden is upset. He doesn’t engage in the tired, cliched, fake whisper acting. He is a master thespian from the fake mumble acting school. There’s long been a schism between the two, going back to the time of Shakespeare. Hellisempty and allthedevilsarehere, yougotthat? Allthatglitters is notgold, k? -Eric Braeden, from his performances of Shakespeare, 1612.
  7. Your recaps have been fantastic, bannana. Thank-you! I am surprised at how little Ashley gives a fuck. I thought she might pull back a bit and realize she took her vengeance a tad too far. Using her mother’s dementia was absolutely reprehensible. It’s like she responded to Jack putting sugar in her gas tank and keying her car with firebombing Jack’s garage. I get her motivation, but damn. I’ve never been a big Ashley fan, and I haven’t always paid a lot of attention to her, especially when she slummed with Victor. How long has she been obsessed with being Jabot CEO? I feel like this is a recent-ish thing. One of things I always did like about Ash is that she was a scientist. Bidness people are a dime a dozen on soaps.
  8. Yeah, well, a single Buttbiscuit can inhale up to 12,000 mosquito-sized insects with a single intake of breath. Top that, bats!
  9. I think you really hit the nail on the head, Tobin. Ashley’s scheme wasn’t about Victor; this story was completely contained within the Abbott family. Even though Ashley’s role in the DNA plot is a retcon, if you look back at everything that unfolded from her act of revenge, it really works impressively well. Billy was elevated to a position he wasn’t ready for, with Summer arriving to push him back into gambling. Buttbiscuit, now CEO, had assets and funds to burn, making his fall from grace even harder. Jack weathered an intense emotional crisis, Kyle got closer to his father and became more likable, and Jack ended up at Dark Horse, working with his former stepson. My god, people, just imagine if Mal Young could write good shit like this on purpose! I can’t even be mad at Ashley. Jack is my favorite character, and Ashley did him dirty, but her motivations make an actual kind of sense. Not having Victor involved and looming over Ashley’s psyche is refreshing. The only thing I would disagree with Tobin on is that I don’t want to see any version of Ashley with Victor. I don’t think Victor’s ego could stand anyone else delivering the ultimate dagger to Jack’s back, and this Ashley is too strong for him.
  10. Flan on a stick? Is Billy getting a new nickname?
  11. Way to take all the romance out of it. Geez. I’m here for this hot mess. Though it’s going to be gross as hell when Phyllis takes back the man who revenge fucked her daughter and bragged about it.
  12. I could inject that scene of Jack throwing the chair directly into my veins. As retcons go, the DNA sabotage made for decent enough TV. The acting has been solid. It’s almost as if you don’t need two dirty, cheating trash bags pushed to the forefront and engaging in repellent acts of copulation between romcomcom hijinks to make good soap. Who knew?
  13. I can just hear Phyllis instructing Buttbiscuit in the sack... “Okay, put it in now. Put it in! Would you put it in already? No, it’s not. It couldn’t be. Stop joking around, Billy. PUT IT IN FOR GOD’s SAKE!!! Why are you rolling over and falling asleep? Billy? Biiiilllllyyyy? I hope there’s a cucumber left in the fridge.” Love in the afternoon.
  14. You go straight to hell, spinxella.
  15. It totally leaves the impression that bedding Summer was Billy’s absolute rock bottom. Buttbiscuit’s got so much class he should open a school in his nostrils.