NinjaPenguins

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    2,230
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NinjaPenguins last won the day on November 13 2016

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About NinjaPenguins

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    New England
  • Interests
    Sports, science, gaming
  • Favorite TV Show
    Big Bang Theory

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  1. Yeah, this about sums up Cane's sex appeal. He might smell a little better. Maybe. Abby, you dumb fuck, you are the other woman. Again. Because you and Joke Tapper there couldn't last 45 minutes in a goddamned furnished storage pod without fucking. Because that's totally how normal people react. Go rub up on Billy. It's not like you're actually related and you can so totally get each other because you're both garbage.
  2. Hilary and Jack won't hook up because they're too busy cooperatively masturbating Cane, who doesn't even have the good graces to be present for it. Don't put praise for Liver Lips in Jack's mouth, show. It's gross. Why was Billy mugging so hard when talking to Victoria at the GCAC? Their conversation might have been tolerable had Jason Thompson eased up on the full body heaves. Dude, you aren't charming. Mal Young, I judge you and your ability to make good TV. I found myself drifting off into a dreamland and thinking I could maybe turn a blind eye to Nick sucker punching Scott. You're ruining my favorite hobby of hating on the Hot Banana.
  3. Are there any volcanoes near Genoa City? I'm a former children's librarian and spent a not insignificant amount of time around teens. I don't remember any of them acting as gross and juvenile as Phyllis and Billy. I don't want to watch adults act like that in a public setting. It's not funny or cute or sexy; it's repulsive and deranged. I wish they'd do more with Cane being a vampire. Like Neil taking the stick out of his own ass, sharpening it and staking his son-in-law. That would be pretty exciting.
  4. I just... how did that, like, happen? How did Mal Young's jerking off material make it to air? I'm so embarrassed after watching that and I'm not even sure why.
  5. Oh god, not the yearly troll stroll down memory lane with Little Orphan Turdburglar, the only orphan to ever orphan in the whole history of orphaning. You're 739 years old, Victor. Get over it already. PS: Your parents hated you at first sight and that's why you're a fucking orphan. I like Devon. The worst thing he ever did was bang Neil's wife, but that lead to the magic that is The Silver Briefcase of Righteous Justice. That piece of luggage buys a lot of forgiveness for me.
  6. I bet it was Buttbiscuit.
  7. Didn't we already have some bullshit real estate story with Victor and Joe Clark and something to do with Crimson Lights? It was pretty dreary, and I doubt Mal Young is going to improve upon the concept.
  8. Goddamnit, Waldo, I can't believe I missed the obvious nostrils joke. Kudos, good sir. You have a nose for nostrils. So not only do I have to endure the equine erotica that is Philly, I must be subjected to the junior varsity cheating trash team of Scabby. How dare anyone suggest that Nicholas Newman has never experienced danger! A thought crossed his mind once and almost blew out two lobes. I don't know about you guys, but I call that living on the edge.
  9. Billy and Phyllis better be wearing asbestos underpants to ward off the burn. So much cheating trash on this show and Deacon's dumpster is nowhere in sight. Abby truly is the daughter of Ashley and the Human Canker Sore. So Ashley not only treats a man who actually respects her like a piece of sex candy, she also finds time to undermine her big brother to the Buttbiscuit, a posterior pastry always looking for a fresh angle to stick a knife in Jack's back. Whatever. And there's a horse. A friggin' horse. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Billy; look it in the tail and maybe it will kick a new personality into your thick skull.
  10. Real talk, miamama. Real frickin' talk.
  11. So did Billy only spring for half a horse? Phyllis already has the back end, so getting a whole equine seems redundant and financially irresponsible. And does Billy really want his lover to see something with visible-to-the-naked-eye genitalia? So many questions...
  12. I guess cheating trash is what tickles Mal's fancy. Philly, Scabby... I will never root for these pairings. I'm a total Jack apologist, but bringing up Ash's paternity is not cool and, as miamama points out, is a bit out of character. I hate the bullshit on soaps that biology is everything.
  13. Does RT mean Retch Tremendously?
  14. Oh no. This is going to be Philly's "story" isn't it? Wacky romantic fluff better suited to teenagers with a lot of awkward heat-free sex thrown in to "spice things up." Because I'm supposed to ignore the origins of this unholy union so that a deluded writer can use a venerable daytime drama to entertain himself with a repulsive fanfic. Let me guess; the pilot becomes incapacitated, forcing Buttbiscuit to heroically land the jet. After the applause dies down, Assdanish coyly implies (probably to Jack) that Phyllis was performing oral sex on him, fueling his courage. A sex trafficking ring is not beneath Victor Newman. The only thing beneath that suppurating cock sore is a hemorrhoid pillow and a little bit of grave dust. However, he'd do that sort of thing on the side, as a hobby. As usual, Tightpockets pays the price for wearing a denim groin garrote that cuts off the oxygen supply to the noggin. The Briefcase of Justice refuses to fly anymore.
  15. Is there an Emmy for Best Manspreading?