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About NinjaPenguins

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    New England
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    Sports, science, gaming
  • Favorite TV Show
    Big Bang Theory

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  1. Why do they keep putting Phyllis and Nick in scenes. As much as I deeply, deeply hated Phick, the previous Phyllis had chemistry with baboon boy. GT Phyllis and Nick have something approaching anti-chemistry.
  2. I’m unreasonably annoyed by the AT&T commercial where they keep talking about their thing and your thing. It’s like they use the word ‘thing’ way too many times. And there’s a reference to the friend zone thing, which makes my teeth itch. I remember when men and women being platonic was simply called ‘friendship.’ There are a couple of pretty fantastic puppy dogs in the commercial, so it’s not a complete downer.
  3. You know, I can easily imagine Nick beating off like he’s trying to start his lawnmower, but I can’t imagine Victor giving pleasure to anyone, including himself. He probably doesn’t think his hand is good enough for him, especially after he wiped his mouth with it and it complained about the mediocre mustache ride to nowhere. Victor has all the hand in the relationship with his hand. Weird, right?
  4. I have to applaud Nikki getting it on with Arturo. Zombie dick must get stale. Literally. Nick discovered fire, y’all! What a fantastic role model for Christian.
  5. There is an unwritten rule on this show that Jack must do the dumbest thing possible so that Victor can win. It only ups the humiliation to have Abby get one over on him, considering her next thought will be her first. And look at how Victor handles Dina better than those gosh darned inferior Abbotts. What a humanitarian. Neil better be coming home with a syringe full of the cure for baby rabies. I like Devon and I like Hilary but I cannot take much more of this bullshit story.
  6. Abby needs to fuck right off. Stake her claim as a Newman? Fuck off twice. No one thinks of Abby as an Abbott, and she really needs to ask Nick and Adam how rewarding it is to have Shriveldick’s attention. Also, someone remind this egomaniacal dummy that Brad Carlton was her father. She really is her mother’s daughter.
  7. I love how this show likes to pretend that Abby is ever torn between her families when she is always Team Newman. Ashley, that numbnut, needs to realize that any Abbott can talk all the smack they want about Abby’s dod, including Buttbiscuit. It pains me to give anything to Beely, but Victor financed his rape and kept him away from his cancer stricken daughter. Jack can fuck the old giblet pile over anytime he wants and charge all expenses to the Marco credit card. Victor’s just a rich, ugly asshole who enjoys causing chaos and angst and treating females with contempt. Ashley and Abby can’t possibly be surprised by this turn of events. If Victor feels like being dick for no good reason but that it’s fun? That’s what he’ll do. Oh noes! Is Phyllis bored with her squeaky toy? Will Billy have to up his game? Will Billy have to find a game? Is it time to fire up the farm equipment and thresh out the ol’ nostrils? Time will tell, I suppose.
  8. I guess I can see putting Sharon back on the banana boat, but the writers could at least make it interesting with things like character development and something approaching a plot. Instead we get “Here they are, in the same house! What more do you people want?” And no, Phyllis sniffing Nick’s jock like a rabid nuthound isn’t a plot.
  9. An animated bar of Dove soap, boes? Oh how I laughed! Then I imagined rubbing Buttbiscuit all over my body and wept enough tears to fill my bathtub. Damn your vivid word pictures. That Newman meeting of the mindless was like a painfully unfunny and poorly written episode of The Office. Once again we’re presented with the modern idea that a powerful businesswoman is all about being nasty and unprofessional as you humiliate your co-worker in front of the staff. Fuck off, Ashley. Fuck off, Mal Young. The gross cherry on this shit sundae is knowing that Victor is getting his flag raised to half mast by pitting his daughter against his sperm stealer. I can’t even believe these scenes actually occurred, they were so off the wall. I like Devon’s little truth telling tour. He needs to pour a shot of truth out for Phyllis and her weaponized womb, deliver a truth enema up Saint Buttbiscuit’s self-aggrandizing pasty pooper and slap JT across his smug mug with the flounder of facts. Replace the Hilary show with Devon’s Book Club, where he reads GC citizens for filth over coffee and scones. And yes, I know Devon has his own dirt, but someone has to host and he clearly has an aptitude for it.
  10. Perhaps this belongs in the confusing commercial thread, but I’m kinda baffled by the Farmers Only commercial where the country dude heads off for his date, only to have it cancelled by his livestock. I mean, the talking animals really push my annoyance button. Yet I’m more bothered by how Farmers Only thinks this scenario is going to sell their product. The guy doesn’t get a date, and his animals are total dicks. Sign up now!
  11. I’ll never grow tired of reading it either, Cupid. Truth makes for a timeless song. I feel like Mal is writing for couples that have fandoms (and standoms), which would be fine if he could structure an interesting story around these people. Obviously, he can’t. Philly is all sexual hijinx, Hilary is making dumb requests of Devon, and Nick has quickly ensconsed himself in another woman’s abode. JT’s behavior is appalling. I can’t even start in on Cane and Lily because it’s just vomit inducing that she’d take that dickchesseburger back. Love in the afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
  12. I’d kinda like to hear more from Reed on his father’s behavior. Kids aren’t stupid and he surely picked up on things in the JT/Mac household.
  13. Why even have Victor know if nothing is going to come of it? The usual suspects might scold him, but their rage will last all of five minutes. Nick can talk smack to his father and attempt to keep him away from CAN, but we all know that can only lead to Victor winning custody. There is no suspense to any Victor story.
  14. I’ll cast a third vote for JT being behind Victoria’s negative feedback. Gross. Victor is going to get away with knowing all along about CAN’s paternity, isn’t he? It really is a waste of time to build stories around Victor’s dastardly deeds because they always end with the old fartpuff winning. Yawn.
  15. Well, I am in a thread about commercials that irritate and enrage. It’s entirely possible I was spicing up my anger for effect. As peacheslatour points out, the commercial I was commenting on featured a grave offense against the English language. Next time I shall be more specific with my complaints.