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  1. S13.E14: Blow Up

    Can we please stop calling whatever the hell Vicki was doing twerking? That was more like a lower body spasm.
  2. All Episodes Talk: Large Cakehole

    Wait, so the hormone monster isn't Will Arnett?!?! Wow, I would have bet money that it was. I am usually very good at identifying voices so this surprises me to no end. Sounds just like him. Nick Kroll could find work as his voice double if it came down to it. I couldn't agree more. I can't get the "I made thick in her warm" out of my mind and I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. On the other hand, I love getting more Lola. Nick's voicing her takes me clean out all the time. Love this show and I will be re-watching. I try to pace myself but it just didn't work out.
  3. Me the minute they told me the hotel didn't have a/c They are not gonna have me sweating out my blow out on vacay. Once again Tamra demonstrates that she is a friend to no one!! I thought she was baptized, saved and an official G-d botherer now? I guess it didn't take because she is back to being a mean, vindictive bitch. She even has that malicious evil glint in her eyes again. I always knew Satan's would never let go of his #1 concubine. The only thing religion and priest can do for her is attempt an exorcism and even then Tamra would be like: Eddie's afib is back but Tamra went to Bass Lake Jamaica. Let me get this straight. Gina and Matt are great friends, they love each other and they still have sex YET they can't even exist under the same roof with their kids to the point they have to rent another property so one of them can live there while the other spends time with the kids in the family home? But yet their divorce is amicable, uncontested and a non-event. Make that make sense. Gina is only gonna get or ask for child support and not alimony? Her husband is some kind of Svengali. I thought all the ladies looked pretty decent (to varying degrees) in their swimsuits. Emily is built solidly but she is surprisingly toned and fit. Impressive. I got what Kelly was going for bringing up the projects and other people having it worse to put Shannon's issues in perspective but something about it rubbed me the wrong way. Both Emily and Gina need to get off Shannon's jock. Why would you even want to bother with Shannon if you think she belongs at Shady Pines and is a joyless sad sack? Shannon can be self absorbed and is a high strung worry wart but she is capable of being self-deprecating, self aware and funny. More importantly, I do think she is for the most part a reasonable person capable of admitting being wrong and sincerely apologizing making her a unicorn across the franchises. Aside from the cringey scene with the bartender, I didn't mind Vicki too much this episode. Color me surprised that she asked the driver about the rasta hat w/dreads? That is the most culturally aware her or this group have ever been.
  4. S02.E12: Tell-All

    I think Rachel and Jon are caught up in an "us against the world" folie a deux. Apparently, they are the face of true love and the world is conspiring against them including the US Immigration office. Its all cute now that they are only together a few weeks out of the year and talk an hour or 2 a day, but shit doesn't get real until you live with someone for a period of time. Until you have to get a job to pay bills, care for a child who has the chicken pox, do household chores, run errands, etc. The crushing reality of the mundanity and sheer banality of married life will tell all in the end. We'll see Jon's true nature. For Lucy's sake, I truly hope he is past his ragey fisticuffs stage.
  5. Shamefully, I do think Jon is attractive and if the British stereotype about their looks is to be believed, he is probably a British 7.5. The biggest marks against him are his small stature, questionable intellect, felonious background and vacant eyes. I am of two minds on Rachel's lack of style. On the one hand, I am all for a woman wearing what is comfortable and staying true to herself and her style. But on the other, I mean damn! If you aren't gonna dress up to meet the love of your life or your new extended family - when the hell are you gonna dress up?
  6. S02.E12: Tell-All

    I actually read the report and it literally doesn't get any trashier. Get this! She caught the DUI going to pick up the married dude from a detention center where he was being held for DUI. So Ang went to go pick up an arrested drunk, DRUNK!! You can't make this shit up. These looks the people from Deliverance look well-heeled. In all this fuckery, I can't help but think of the woman married to the dude. What the hell must it feel like to find out your husband is cheating with a big backed, hay haired, leather skinned 52 yr old that looks 62 , with pendulous teats who probably smells like cigarettes and potted meat. Self esteem must be in the basement to the sunken place. Dude owns a convenience store so Ang probably get cigs and tastykakes free!!
  7. S02.E12: Tell-All

    If the elder vs elderly trouble showed me anything is that Michael seems to have a better command of the English language than most of the Americans ever featured on this show. I never want to see that human meatball Ricky on my screen ever again. His convo with his daughter made me want to hurl. It was almost as if he was trying to use her as an excuse to cool it off with Ximena. The most shocking revelation of the reunion for me is that Paul's father is around. Maybe I've been zoning out during his segments but I don't recall him ever being mentioned so I for sure thought "father" had either died or made a run for it. I actually don't fault Paul for wanting a DNA test. The timeline for both Karine's pregnancies seem sketchy. Plus, she is talking with guys no matter how near or far and staying out all night and not coming home. Girl what?!?! What I do fault him for is asking her on live tv. That is just dumb. Unless he wants to find out in utero who the daddy is, he doesn't even have to ask. Just wait until the baby is born, get a hair or saliva sample and skip over to the local testing office with translator app in hand. Easy peasy. Ximena and Jesse should've switched makeup. Hers was too pale, his too dark. His bronzer actually made his pot marked skin even more prominent and unfortunate looking. I thought Darcy's makeup was the most on point it has ever been. Flawless. Now if only she could get her weave/wig right. It is like she doesn't understand the concept of matching and blending to her hair color and texture. That hair looked like it was culled from a million Dollar Value Barbies. I'm not so sure this is over. Ang obviously isn't averse to looking and acting the "grown" fool on talk show (Maury 2x) and reality tv so I wouldn't be surprised to find they got back together just so Ang could get another season and a few dollars in her pocket. Fame, hell infamy, is addictive. I remember those days. Even though I still watch TWD, it isn't the must see tv it used to be. I don't know what it says about me that 90 days reigns on Sunday and record TWD and don't watch until Monday, sometimes Tuesday. Jesse's suit reminded me of an extra in the Michael Jackson Smooth Criminal video.
  8. S02.E12: Tell-All

    Okay, I'm kinda pissed that Shaun didn't get to the burning question of the night (for me anyway): Did Jesse and Darcy have sex on break up night? Enquiring minds wanted to know.
  9. S02.E12: Tell-All

    Tell nothing disappointing as usual. When is this filmed? I wanted confirmation on the Hazel bisexual/Tarik orgies. LOL! Surprised, but not, that Hazel's statements about not finding Tarik attractive and wanting desperately to come to the States weren't thrown in Tarik's face. Why was Big Ang so shocked over the elder comment? That aired like episode 3. Her energy was like this is the 1st time she is hearing this. Mike needs to up his game. When talking about the looks and age of a woman like Angela the answer isn't that looks aren't important to you and you look at their heart and soul. The answer is she is sexy and beautiful to you. Ang girl, this ain't Maury. Sit your burly ass down. Jon talking about beta men, but living in his mama's house, unemployed, Felonious garbage sorter and $50,000+ in debt. Not a good look. Jon is problematic, but he is right that it does take a real man to be a true and loving father to a child that isn't his. Only time will tell if Jon is that. My sage words to Jessie - bronzer isn't for everyone. Jessie also needs to stop saying that he should've called the police on Darcy for throwing shoes. Even in the worst case scenario that she did aim for his head (which I don't believe) she didn't make contact so he sounds like a lil bitch. Speaking of lil bitches, Ricky is the worst kinda bitch. That additional scene with his daughter made my blood boil. He always leads with either an outright lie or a lie by omission. I can't think of a single conversation he has had with anyone on this show that didn't end with him being less than truthful. This time with his daughter, he left out that he actually was engaged to Ximena. Also, he always has to say or get reassurance that he isn't a bad guy. News flash- if you have to do this all the damn time odds are you aren't a good person.
  10. S07. E15: Last Chance for Romance

    Like most things in life Amber's situation can be crystallized by a Seinfeld episode - Amber's Got No Hand!! She has no power in the relationship. Dave hold all cards. My impression is Decision Day is all on Dave. https://youtu.be/8g3tQaqizh0?t=4 Combine that screwy power dynamic with another cult Classic - Dave is bit like Lucille Bluth. He appears to get off on withholding. Classic TV comparisons aside, as much as Amber wants Dave to state his intentions, I can't really see any evidence that Amber has fallen or is falling in love with Dave either. I mostly see a woman who doesn't want to be single or rejected on national tv. I don't dislike Amber, but I think she does fall within Tristan's quoted phrase of tired of being single but not ready to be married. Most telling was her not wanting her life to be inconvenienced at all by doing extra shit for Dave, which apparently, she still ain't doing. According to Dave, he does all types of extra stuff for her like flowers and reassuring phone calls but she can't be bothered to reciprocate.
  11. S07. E15: Last Chance for Romance

    When Mia was darkening Tristan's hotel room doorstep it just came to me who/what Mia reminds me of - Wybie from Coraline. Something about her posture, her energy and they way she walks reminds me of that character. I can't even with Tristan and Mia. I believe Tristan. Mia is just a low level sociopath. She actually fixed her mouth to say that she thought all their problems were minor ones to Tristan's shock and surprise. When she noticed he didn't agree with that assessment she asked him what he thought their big issues were to which he rightly replied: you told me you wanted a divorce and walked out on me!! There is something really wrong with her. I don't think much of Tristan even entertaining being in her presence at this point. Then these 2 idiots cuddle on the couch and exchange "I love yous" WTF?!!? At this point, they are just sticking around for the $$. Makes no sense. Yeah, Amber wants a spoiler/sneak preview of decision day. LOL! Amber is stuck in a self-fulfilling prophecy spiral. Her feelings that Dave isn't attracted to her are feeding her insecurities and her constant need to be reassured is driving Dave away. The resolution to the Dave/Amber fight was the most nonsensical thing to happen on the show.
  12. Tamra leaving her husband the day after he had heart surgery made me think of another iconic moment on OC I let out a hearty laugh every time Vicki says she would have changed to save her marriage. In the 13 seasons this show has aired, she just now learned how to give the appearance of a proper apology. Apart from her haircut and plastic surgery, Vicki is pretty much the same person she was S1 ep 1 as she is S13 ep 11. You know why? Vicki is a narcissist and narcissists never change. Narcissists can't change. That is what makes them narcissists. She really needs to stop embarrassing herself with that lie.
  13. Part of me feels for the extreme soul grinding poverty stricken life Hazel has but I just can't bring myself to like her. I wouldn't give a fuck about her and Tarik but I have doubts whether she can be a decent mother to his special needs daughter. Tarik in particular ain't shit for potentially exposing his daughter to a caretaker he barely knows himself. I can't stand Tarik for this reason alone. For the life of me I can't see what Tarik sees in Hazel that makes him ready to risk it all. Me thinks his future involves lots of begging for a minimal amount of affection. The whole time I wanted the host to say "No I don't know. That's why I am asking you." The Twinflames are indeed highly competitive. Can't be coincidence that Stacey is dating a European 20-something fitness model for three years and than Darcey goes out and dates a Euro fitness 20 something "model" a 1 1/2 years later? You know what could have really used a warning? Dean saying Tarik is into orgies. Why are we even bothering with the 3rd gen stripper descendant? She showed up during the 5th inning. I don't care.
  14. S7. E 13: A Future to Believe In

    Pastor Calvin: I have confidence that this marriage could work. Note to self: Never ask Dr. Calvin for advice on anything Tristan ain't shit! If a man will put you out as a newlywed he’ll put you out with an infant and a fresh episiotomy with $15 to your name. Mia, her Keurig, and her Blue Cross Blue Shield health insurance card should have stayed gone. At the end of the episode, Mia looks so depressed to be back on Tristan's nasty little bed. I am convinced that the "experts" get some kind of bonus if the couples last until D day.
  15. Gotta say, I'm liking this season way more than last season and that preview for what is to come is life affirming. You hear me .. LIFE. AFFIRMING! Cooking dinner parties are some rich woman BULLSHIT!!! So you mean to tell me, I'm invited to your house for dinner but I got to stand up in the kitchen and make my own damn meal from appetizer to dessert?!? FOH with that shit! I could stay home in my jammies, be comfortable and watch Netflix. I don't care what anyone says, Vicki has one of the best HW homes amongst all the franchises. Her backyard is Legend and goals! It legit looks like the grounds of a 5 star luxury resort. People go on and on about Lisa Vanderpump's home but it looks like a commercial space to me, especially that entrance and living room. Gina's divorce narrative is nonsensical. Just say you love each other but aren't 'in love' like the rest of the world. Plus, how are you BFFs with your husband and haven't even been to or know where his LA apt is located and she can't even describe what he does for a living? Make that make sense. Vicki's moral compass looks like this: I LOL every time they show the clip of Kelly coming back to call Shane a twerp and a lil pussy. LOL! I officially don't like Shane's ass. He is the type that says sideways shit under the guise of sarcasm, that ain't funny, says he is kidding but totally means that shit!