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Latverian Diplomat

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  1. Team Asteroid Clubhouse

    So, all this time we were rooting for the asteroid, it had a completely different agenda. For all we know, this was just about contacting humpback whales from the very beginning.
  2. S02.E13: Get Ready

    So much for propagating the species. I thought it was Bass's job as cruise director to arrange all that, but I guess he decided space shuffleboard and unlimited freeze dried shrimp was good enough? Salvation Deleted Scenes: Nora: Bass is coming for me, I’ve been chosen! [Points gun at Jillian, then turns to face intruders bursting in] [Alonzo shoots Nora. He is apparently a better shot than her.] Alonzo: They told me this was way out of my jurisdiction as a DC police detective, but I thought, ah f*ck that, it’s the end of the world baby! ============= Darius: Don’t launch the nukes! The asteroid won’t hit Earth! Harris: What? But the calculations… Darius: It took me two seasons to realize it, but Liam is a huge dope. His math is all wrong! Harris: I wasn’t prepared to believe you, but at last you are making sense. ============ Alycia: Nero isn’t a person, it’s a mask, worn by the current leader, on a rotating basis, I was next in line. Liam: You know what this means, don’t you? Alycia: Oh no, please no. Liam: Oh yes…Tess, Karaoke mode. [Sings] I, I will be King And you, you will be Queen Though nothing will drive Samson away We can be Neroes just for one day We can be him just for one day ========== Jillian: What’s it doing? Darius: Hovering Grace: Like a humming bird! Harris: If it’s not an asteroid, what the hell is it? History Channel Weird Hair Guy: I told you it was aliens! Klaatu: Now that you have successfully exiled your evil overlords on that primitive space ship, your planet is welcome to join our galactic federation. Darius: You could have contacted us and we wouldn’t have tried so hard to destroy your vessel, we thought it was a deadly asteroid. Klaatu: We thought about giving you a call, but the roaming charges in this part of the galaxy are murder.
  3. S02.E12: Hail Marry

    Even if you vaporize the whole thing, the gas cloud doesn't just evaporate harmlessly in all directions. All that momentum and kinetic energy) is conserved, the cloud of gas plows into the atmosphere at the same average velocity and same total kinetic energy as the original asteroid. The gas isn't unimpeded by gravity, it continues to fall towards Earth, just like the original asteroid was. It defies our intuition based on everyday experience, but that's because the numbers are huge. It's a lot of mass moving very fast, no matter what phase it's in, it's going to do some damage, unfortunately.
  4. S02.E12: Hail Marry

    Point taken on the volacano/tsunami consequences, but the buckshot will probably make a firestorm more likely not less, because even more of the kinetic energy is dumped into the atmosphere. I'm not a scientitian, but I've read more science-y discussions of this dilemma than this show has time that have generally ended up concluding that breaking up an incoming asteroid is at best useless, and maybe makes things worse. Also, Samson will reach its peak velocity right before it hits the atmosphere, moving very fast. Even on reentry, they are supersonic. * It would be an incredibly hard to hit with ICBMs which are not designed for interception. * Pedantic footnote: One thing the movies get wrong is large incoming meteors are are supersonic, people at ground zero wouldn't hear it coming in, and barely glimpse it unless they happened to be looking in the right direction.
  5. S02.E12: Hail Marry

    Prediction: Uncle Nick, Bass, and crew of evil survivalists and Q17s take off for Mars in Salvation, only to be diverted at the last second to a collision course with Samson through the magic of (white hat) hacking and the last secret passcode Darius kept to himself. The day is saved?
  6. S02.E12: Hail Marry

    Salvation Deleted Scenes: [News Announcer]: In the wake of the Rail Gun Sabotage, small groups of people rioting have been able to do the damage of much larger crowds through the use of low camera angles...believing cash to be worthless people have to resorted to Amazon gift cards as currency... ========== Bass: You are my inner circle, the only ones ready to accept "the Truth"... Jillian: [Expression of finally catching on, whispers to Nora] Here it comes... Bass: And "the Truth" is my penis... Jillian: [Still whispering to Nora] It's my creepy creative writing professor all over again... ========== Darius: A kinetic impactor of sorts...consider it an understudy for the Rail Gun. Alycia: Well, everyone knows that understudies aren't as good as the real thing. Darius: It's funny you should say that Alycia, you see, this episode is a little over-budget, so.... Alycia's Understudy: Thank you for this opportunity, Mr. Tanz! =========== Shelter Salesman: Sorry, cash is worthless, so unless you have truckloads of guns, medicine or Amazon gift cards... Harris: We don't have any of those. Shelter Salesman: Not sure why you're worried, Mr. Cabinet Member. As for the lady, well, there's one possibility. Harris: Some sort of awkward marriage of convenience? Shelter Salesman: I was going to say there are still some openings for "Indiana Mole Women" but sure, that would work too I guess. ============ Liam: OK, the meteor checks out. Arrest the creepy blond and take this guy back to prison. Uncle Nick: But, we had a deal! I said "Checkmate" and everything! Liam: Yes, but then our superintelligent AI pointed out that your sudden but inevitable betrayal was so certain that there was no reason not to double cross you instead. Not something a mere human genius like me, Darius, or Alycia could have thought of, so I'm glad Tess is on our side. =========== Grace: [Answering door]I think it's time I make you breakfast...[sees Harris] eww...I mean Hi!. Harris: Am I interrupting something? Grace: No, all the interruptus happened last night. =========== Jillian: Thank goodness I reached you Liam...I have some important information about Darius that can finally redeem me [phone battery dies] dammit why did I charge my fitbit instead of my phone? Oh well, at least rescuing Darius single-handed against impossible odds should be worth a lot of steps
  7. S02.11: Celebration Day

    Fair enough. And to be sure, a wide selection of donors would be preferable, but this is Salvation where one extraordinary individual can do the work of hundreds. So, "Umm, Liam, this is awkward, but there is one last service to the human race you can provide. In that room you will find a tray of sample vials, some liquid nitrogen, and a selection of what Tess assures me is your favorite pornography. Godspeed, young man." -- Darius Tanz
  8. Team Asteroid Clubhouse

    I smell spinoff! The year is 1987 2018, and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes asteroid defense ships. In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 Salvation and its pilot, Captain William "Buck" Rogers Darius Tanz, are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life support systems, and returns Buck Rogers Darius to Earth...500 years later!
  9. S02.11: Celebration Day

    That's very close to the how You, Me, and the Apocalypse ended. Personally, I didn't care for it. The way this show works, it would more likely end with Grace shooting Bass (but feeling super guilty about it) and then the harem discovers a cache of frozen sperm courtesy Darius (because he planned for all contingencies) to repopulate the world with, and ensure a genetic legacy of entrepreneurial technical super genius, as opposed to one of, um, entrepreneurial marketing super genius? (that perennial conflict between R&D and marketing will be with us to the end?).
  10. S02.11: Celebration Day

    It showed there was a small thermal exhaust port just big enough to jam a proton torpedo usb flash drive into. Well, they also seized that underwhelming $21 billion dollar piggy bank they had. Salvation Deleted Scenes: Darius: The Solar Sail and Rail Gun projects are now fully operational Reporter: President Tanz, how hopeful are you of success? Darius: We predict a 94% success rate, which is the worst I've ever done on an exam, but still pretty darn good if you ask me. Other Reporter: Neither a borrower nor a lender be! Time is a circle! The cheese stands alone! [Takes cyanide capsule, dies] Darius: We have got to stop giving press credentials to the Judean People's Front. ========== Zoe: Hey Jillian. Is there a phone I could use? I should call my mom. Nora: You know what our Holy Book, Bassonetics, says about "should"? Jillian: [concentrating] "Suicide is painless, it brings on many changes." [Giggles] Nora: Umm...E for Effort there, Jillian. ========== Alycia: You want me to use Resyst to find Bass Shephard? Darius: Actually, we were thinking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. You are surprisingly popular on Instagram. Liam: It's those amazing bathing suit pics [embarrassed] I've...heard. ========== Nora: [Makes a toast] To Celebration day! Zoe: [Eyes wine suspiciously] Umm...my obstetrician told me to avoid, umm, poison? Jillian: [Enthusiastically] I'm sure just a sip is OK. Nora: [Hears knock at door] Shh! [Unlocks arsenal. Members start to arm themselves] Zoe: This is the worst book club meeting ever. Jillian: It's not so bad, my book has caused a narcolepsy outbreak at several of them. ========== Boyce: [On PA]Give me a chance. Don't mortage your future. There is still a way to get out of jail free. Boyce: [To Grace] That's the third time past Go. Grace: What if they don't respond? Boyce: Next step we cut off their utilities, ma'am. Then the railroads, Marvin Gardens, Park Place. Grace: Is this just a game to you? =========== Alycia: All my personal information...they've doxxed me...Ladyhawke is dead. Darius: It's OK Alycia. Here's a fresh character sheet. Step out of the darkness...try a paladin this time. =========== Harris: The only way in is to raid the compound. Darius: Is Grace out of there...Zoe? Harris: Yes...but Jillian is still in there. Darius: Oh, in that case, you're approved for tanks, flamethrowers, an aircraft carrier... =========== Alycia: That's it? You're just giving up? Darius: Does this show really deserve a third season? Or should we just go into the dustbin like Extant? Liam: Extant didn't have all that blackmail material on network executives like we do. Darius: You're right, they didn't. Six seasons and a movie it is.
  11. S02.E10: Prisoners

    I'm not so sure? I'm thinking maybe Cope wants to sabotage the rail gun as part of a "global suicide"? The "kool-aid" could have just been a drill, as real life suicide cults are sadly known to do. I could be wrong, but he seems super creepy, and I don't think that's by accident, even on this show.
  12. S02.E10: Prisoners

    Men are from stupid Mars, Women are from Stupid Venus is what they are going for? They never intended to have a preview for next week, however, due to an unfortunate technical glitch, the Santiago voiceover of "Psych!" was not aired after the commercials. Salvation Deleted Scenes: Harris: Darius, your tip-off worked. We have Alycia in custody. How did you guess her disguise? Darius: During our brief but intense relationship, I became quite familiar with the contents of her disguise closet. Which one was it? French Maid? Catholic Schoolgirl? Lola Bunny? Harris: It was the cheap blonde wig and sunglasses one. Darius: Of course...I guess I didn't really need to mention the others. Harris: I'm so glad you did though. ========== Alonzo: Don't worry Grace, I can protect your daughter. I do have this weird blind spot about suicide cult members, but I'm sure that won't be relevant. Grace: How can I be sure I can trust you? Alonzo: Oh, my emotional Magic 8 Ball came up "Extreme Loyalty" this morning. Grace: Whew! So glad it wasn't "Murderous Rage" again. Alonzo: I was hoping for some more of that "Sexual Attraction" Grace: My dance card is pretty full right now...but if that one comes up again...call me? ========== Zoe: [Runs to sink, vomits] Grace: Oh my god, is that morning sickness? Zoe: No! Don't be ridiculous. I'm just super-nervous about this thing I have to tell you. Grace: What a relief! What do you have to tell me? I can handle it... Zoe: I'm pregnant. Grace: Dammit, Zoe! =========== Harris: Grace, even though we are not together anymore, we will still have a grandchild together! Grace: That's a weird way to look at it, but yes. Also, let go of my hand. =========== Liam: We can't launch! The simulation says a wind of 30 knots will cause a failure! Alycia: I wouldn't go by the simulation, Liam. I should know, I wrote it. Liam: But you're a great programmer! I've seen how fast you can type...without even looking! Alycia: Yes, but I know nothing about aeronautical engineering. So, it's just a thinly disguised port of Atari Missile Command. Liam: That explains why it kept asking for more tokens! Alycia: Just believe in yourself. Believe in us! Liam: Where did you get that "Sexy Convict" outfit. Never mind...it's working! =========== Alycia: The billionaires have hidden all their money, there's no telling where! Darius: It's a bunch of old white guys, Alycia. Check on Ebay for Stamps, Baseball Cards, and Vintage Skin Mags. Alycia: My God, the world's entire supply of those things has been bought up in that last hour! What do we do now? Darius: Simple. We trash their buyer and seller ratings, and all those collectibles will be worthless! No one will deal with them. Alycia: Brilliant. [types fast as screen scrolls unrelated code listing]. Done!
  13. Season 1 Discussion

    I liked it over all. The pacing improves, IMHO, as they begin to figure out the rules, which might be episode 3. A comment about the ending, which I will spoiler tag even though I won't go into the details:
  14. S02.E09: The Manchurian Candidate

    Good point, it's not a Seveneves situation where the Earth will be uninhabitable for thousands of years (and even they didn't try to go to Mars).
  15. S02.E09: The Manchurian Candidate

    "Folks. it appears that the only fertilizer we have available is...a Gutenberg bible...who planned this thing?" FWIW, I've read that as few as 32 people, not closely related, would be enough to avoid inbreeding. So, if that's true, 160 should be plenty. And of course, they can supplement that with some combination of frozen sperm, eggs, or embryos, depending on whether there is enough cargo space not taken up by useless items like the aforementioned Gutenberg bible. I never understood that anyway. It would be better to leave stuff like that in vaults on Earth where future Martian Colony archeologists can find it when they come back to Earth. The asteroid isn't going to melt the whole surface of the earth or anything.